Fortean Times - June 2022

78 Pages·2022·53.7 MB·English

FORTEAN TIMES 419
CONTENTS
Why fortean ?
Everything you always wanted to SEE PAGE
67
know about Fortean Times but
were too paranoid to ask!
STRANGE DAYS
A digest of the worldwide weird, including: Unwise insertions,
Easter miracles, weird waves, an African mermaid and more...
12 ARCHÆOLOGY 16 GHOSTWATCH
13 CLASSICAL CORNER 22 ALIEN ZOO
14 SCIENCE 26 THE UFO FILES
FEATURES
NCE 28 COVER STORY
JEFFREY VALLA TAHNED SJTARCAKN TGHEE C RAIPSPEE ORF WALTER SICKERT
36 Painter of light and dark: the double life of Thomas Kinkade
BILLY ROUGH explores the longstanding association of artist
Walter Sickert’s name with the Ripper murders of 1888, tracing
DACS, 2021 tehrse osft ahgies sg beyn ewrhaticiohn o bneec oafm teh eli nmkoesdt itmo pao grhtaonutl iBshri stitsohry p daeinetp-ly
ST, embedded in our cultural psyche.
OF THE ARTI 36 THE DOUBLE LIFE OF THOMAS KINKADE
STATE The work of Thomas Kinkade, whose mass-marketed paintings
HE E are hugely popular but dismissed by critics as kitsch, has long
SA) © T obsessed JEFFREY VALLANCE. But when he started having
OTO NEW YORK, U sutnrcaonvgeer ipnrgo pthhee tdica rdkr esaidmes o afb tohuet ‘ Pthaein ltaetre oafr tLiisgt,h ht’e… found himself
TREVOR WOOD / ALAMY STOCK PH METROPOLITAN MUSEUM OF ART ( 4PsfSutAo2lEU rsi tR eLTas tS WIufIEreEoE,S mVaN E ctThaKleIIe ENfinTdGrsaH tpr h r wCeaaslEfer noNaftn sTtd hsU oeam R2me0Ya tohn fT cwtAehhneLot EsuttirrScyak,, nei ngPdec AllsiutkR dneiTe naw g Tc salpHo avcRepkne.E.g.rE e-
16 A Suffolk ghost vigil 50 Leonora Carrington’s Tarot
68 FORTEAN TRAVELLER
Las Pozas, Zilitla, Mexico MIKE JAY
FORUM
48 Guided to Grainger’s grave BARRY HUMPHRIES
50 Surrrealism’s international magic ROBERT WEINBERG
REGULARS
N
O
GT
N
DI
WAD 02 EDITORIAL 61 LETTERS 71 PHENOMENOMIX
D
RO 53 REVIEWS 67 READER INFO 72 STRANGE DEATHS

68 Surrealist gardening
Fortean Times
EDITORIAL
S
UI
O
EDITOR ESL
DAVID SUTTON E D
[email protected] CIN
U
FOUNDING EDITORS P
A
BOB RICKARD ([email protected]) C
PAUL SIEVEKING ([email protected])
NEWS EDITOR THE ART OF THE WEIRD
IAN SIMMONS ([email protected])
You’ll notice that our June
ART DIRECTOR
issue has a loose theme
ETIENNE GILFILLAN ([email protected])
running through it: we have
BOOK REVIEWS EDITOR
focused on the often surprising
DAVID V BARRETT ([email protected])
EDITORIAL ASSISTANT relationships between the world
ABIGAIL MASON of strange phenomena and that
RESIDENT CARTOONIST of the visual arts, a decision
HUNT EMERSON prompted in part by two major
PRODUCTION MANAGER exhibitions running currently
LEE BOYMAN ([email protected]) in London that each provides a
ADVERTISING food for fortean thought.
BEN LORTON ([email protected]) The identity of ‘Jack the
Ripper’, and the killer’s
FT ON THE INTERNET subsequent quasi-folkloric
afterlife, has exercised many
www.forteantimes.com a mind since the conclusion
www.facebook.com/forteantimes
of the unsolved Whitechapel
FORTEAN TIMES is produced for Diamond Publishing murders, with contributions in
Limited, a member of the Metropolis Group, by these very pages from the likes
WILD TALENTS LTD. Postal address: Fortean Times, of Therese Taylor, Jan Bondeson,
PO BOX 1200, Whitstable CT1 9RH. Scott Wood and the late Ripperologist to his astonishing Surrealist gardens
SUBSCRIPTIONS and one-time FT stalwart Nick Warren. In (and equally bizarre house, pictured
STANDARD SUBSCRIPTION RATES our cover story (p28), Billy Rough tackles above) of Las Pozas in Xilitla; Mike Jay
12 issues: UK £50.58; Europe £62; USA £70; what must be one of the strangest Ripper gives us a tour in this month’s Fortean
Rest of the world £70 theories, as well as one of the oddest Traveller (p68). Elsewhere, American
ideas in the annals of British art: the artist and FT regular Jeffrey Vallance
CHANGE YOUR ADDRESS, RENEW YOUR
SUBSCRIPTION OR REPORT PROBLEMS: belief that Walter Richard Sickert, one of shares his strange prophetic dreams
the greatest painters of his generation, about ‘Painter of Light’ Thomas Kinkade,
[email protected] / [phone]
was also Jack the Ripper. A visit to the whose chocolate box kitsch may have
LICENSING & SYNDICATION Sickert exhibition at Tate Britain (until concealed a darker artistic identity
FORTEAN TIMESis available for 18 September) reveals an imagination (p36), and Australian national treasure
international licensing and Syndication as dark and disturbing as it could also Barry Humphries (p48) shares a bizarre
Commercial Managing Director
be playful and theatrical; you may even ‘coincidence’ that brought him face to
David Saunders TEL: [phone]
leave convinced, as is crime writer face with a portrait of himself, as well as
[email protected]
Patricia Cornwell, among others, that the an encounter with the ghost of maverick
DISTRIBUTION ‘clues’ in Sickert’s oeuvre (in paintings composer Percy Grainger…
DISTRIBUTED IN UK, IRELAND AND WORLDWIDE such as “The Camden Town Murder” or And if art’s not your bag, don’t worry:
by Marketforce (UK) Ltd, 5 Churchill Place, Canary Wharf, “Jack the Ripper’s Bedroom”) make a we have an issue as packed with the
London, E14 5HU. Tel: [phone]. pretty convincing case for this particular odd and the unlikely as were the nether
Email: [email protected] conspiracy theory. Intriguingly, one regions of the naked Indiana farmer
Speciality store distribution by Worldwide Magazine contributor to the Tate’s exhibition found with a chicken up his bum (see p6
Distribution Ltd, Tel: [phone] Fax: 0121 78
catalogue, art historian Anna Gruetzner for this and other eye-watering tales). So,
12720121 788 3112 Fax: [phone]
Robins, has recently suggested that of until next time...
the 300-plus letters claiming to be from
Jack, several were actually written by
PUBLISHED BY DIAMOND PUBLISHING LIMITED.
Sickert: another exploit of a publicity-
A MEMBER OF THE METROPOLIS GROUP.
loving prankster, or a secret confession?
Fortean Times (ISSN 0308-5899 USPS 023-728) is Perhaps the case is anything but closed…
published 13 times a year by Diamond Publishing Limited, Meanwhile, at Tate Modern,
Vantage London, Great West Road, London TW8 9AG,
“Surrealism Beyond Borders” (until
United Kingdom. Periodicals Postage Paid at Brooklyn, NY
29 August) explores some of the less
11256). USPOSTMASTER: Send address changes to WORLD
CONTAINER INC 150-15, 183rd St, Jamaica, NY 11413, USA. familiar byways of a movement that
NEW ADDRESS FOR
© Diamond Publishing Limited: MAY 2022 ranged far beyond the art world of
Paris. Robert Weinberg (p50) explores FT NEWS CLIPPINGS
COVER ILLUSTRATION the contributions of female artists such

ETIENNE GILFILLAN as Britain’s Leonora Carrington, who Please note that we now have a new
WITH THANKS TO THE incorporated magic and mysticism into address to which you should send
SARTORIALLY SPLENDID her practice, even designing a striking your clippings. The old PO Box is now
SALVATORE MULLIGAN
(A PAINTER HIMSELF!) Tarot deck, and took off for Mexico, “the defunct, so email your stories to
[email protected] and address
most Surrealist country in the world”
HTTP://COMMONWEALTH- your envelopes to:
CLASSICS.COM/INDEX02.HTML according to André Breton. There, she
fell in with art collector in exile, Edward FORTEAN TIMES, PO BOX 1200,
WHITSTABLE, CT1 9RH.
PRINTED BY James, adding her own contributions
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A DIGEST OF THE WORLDWIDE WEIRD
STRANGE DAYS
WEIRD TALES FROM THE WAR
near Kyiv, while the second
part was to take place in an
unspecifi ed “Slavic country”
where foreign witches would
Magical battles, digital warfare and a rogue ecclesiastical supplies lorry participate. The fi nal part would
involve creating a “stone sack”
for Putin that is intended to
WITCH VS WITCH result in him facing “isolation,
Some believe that Germany’s ousting from power and loss of
failure to invade Britain during support from the inner circle”.
the Second World War was due A statement on Instagram
to the intervention of Britain’s from the Kyiv magic shop
magic practitioners, organised Witches Cauldron, which was
by Dion Fortune (see FT267:34- organising the ritual, said: “Our
41). Whether or not that was the rite has been developed by a
case, witches on both sides of the team of serious practitioners
Ukraine war have now mobilised from day one. We are ready. We
to support their countries. did a lot of preparatory work,
In what seems more like a breaking through the defences
media stunt than an actual of enemies, carefully planning
magical working, on 12 March and selecting rituals”. Judging
the “Great Witches of Russia” by the progress of the war since
held a general council in support 31 March, it would seem the
of Vladimir Putin. This involved Ukraine witches currently have
more than 100 witches gathering the upper hand. indiatimes.com,
in Moscow and carrying out a ABOVE: "Russia's leading witch", Aljona 29 Mar 2022.
20-minute ritual to boost Putin Polin. LEFT: A photo posted online by
and Russia, fi lmed by Russian Ukraine's 93rd Mechanised Brigade ELVES VS TROLLS
TV. Presided over by Aljona appears to show the knocked out The battle is also taking
Polin, who was described as turret of a Russian T-72 tank that looks place in the digital realm,
remarkably like a skull.
“Russia’s leading witch”, the with disinformation from so-
participants, dressed in matching called Russian “troll farms”
dark hooded robes decorated commitment”. Interviewed being actively countered by
with birds of prey, stood in a about her actions, a participant a group of volunteer hackers
circle around a shawl with a named only as Afrodita said, “In organised from Lithuania. As a
portrait of Putin and a lit candle everything, as a citizen of Russia, state formerly occupied by the
on it. Polin led with a repeated I have no right to question the Soviet Union, Lithuania felt
chant of “Let the great strength decisions of those who govern us, particularly vulnerable after
of Russia manifest itself”, to I always agree with those above Russia moved to annex parts
The witches of
which the witches (and a few us.” asianews.it, 14 Mar 2022. of Ukraine in 2014, and when
wizards) responded “indeed”. Not to be outdone, the witches they started to see an onslaught
Ukraine set out
They then went on to curse of Ukraine set out to hold a of propaganda from Russian
Russia’s enemies, with Polin three-step ritual to punish and trolls, a group of Lithuanians
to hold a ritual to
chanting: “Those who pretend oust Putin, putting out a call to decided to fi ght back. Calling
to pass through our midst, those all witches saying, “On March themselves “Elves” to evoke the
punish Putin
who have decided to leave us, 31, on the 29th lunar day, the benevolent mythical creatures
those who lie in everything day of corruption and curses, who quietly hammer away
they say, for ever and ever these we, the witches of Ukraine, behind the scenes, they monitor
enemies will be cursed!” The the people and in the country, in collaboration with foreign fake pro-Kremlin profi les
assembled covens responded and there cannot be a negative partners, will perform a ritual and pages on social media,
theatrically, crying “Cursed, president... we have done our of punishing the enemy of the particularly on Facebook, and
cursed!” Polin explained the rituals in the time and in the Ukrainian people – Vladimir debunk disinformation through
reason for the ritual, saying proportions that are needed at Putin.” The fi rst part of the ritual simple explanations and
that “whoever is in power is a the moment, with the aim of was to be held at Ukraine’s memes. The team has grown
kind of absorbent tissue, who improving the lives of people “Place of Power”, which is and now involves hundreds
takes in everything that lives in in the world through Russia’s apparently the Bald Mountain of volunteers from more
4
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THEY DO LIKE IT'S WEIRD UP GREEN, HAIRY
IT UP 'EM NORTH AND SCARY!
Eye-watering The welcome Thailand's weird
tales of unwise return of Weird mystery snake
insertions Weekend North identifi ed
PAGE 8 PAGE 20 PAGE 22
EXTRA! EXTRA!
FT’S FAVOURITE HEADLINES
FROM AROUND THE WORLD
POLICE ‘BROKE
TOILET WHILE
HAVING SEX IN
ABOVE LEFT: Putin lookalike Slawek Sobala is worried about his future. ABOVE RIGHT: Desmon Wisley's eccesiastical supplies lorry. DISASTER ZONE’
D.Mail, 22 Nov 2019
than a dozen countries, operating what he said were photos of RELIC FAIL
under pseudonyms so it’s harder Russian atrocities in Ukraine. When Ukraine managed to sink Flying reptiles
for the Russians to target them. “I just done this to create a the Russian Black Sea fl eet
break cover after
Since the war began, they have safe corridor for the Russian fl agship the Moskva, they may
stepped up operations, carrying out ambassador to leave Ireland,” also have consigned a fragment 100m years
denial-of-service (DDOS) attacks he said, adding “I’ve done my of the true cross to the deep.
on Russian and Belarusian state bit, lads. It’s about time the rest In February 2020 a statement Sunday Telegraph, 29 Mar
institutions, propaganda outlets of Ireland done their bit,” as he from the Russian Orthodox 2020.
and infrastructure sites, and have was led away by gardai, who, Church announced that the
worked with the activist hacker the Russians complained, had holy relic had been presented MORE PEOPLE
group Anonymous to knock out “stood idle” while their gates to the commander of the Black
UNHAPPY THAN
websites ranging from private banks were destroyed. irishtimes.com, 7 Sea fl eet, Vice Admiral Igor
to Russia Today and Sputnik and Mar 2022. Osipov, and would be delivered EVER BEFORE,
the Russian Ministry of Defence to the ship “shortly”. Sergiy
for days on end. A spokesman for DOPPELGÄNGER DISASTER Khalyuta, archpriest of the SURVEY FINDS
the Elves calling himself “Hawk” Also unhappy about the Russian Russian Orthodox Church’s Irish Times, 27 Feb 2021.
said their purpose is “to support our attack on Ukraine is Slawek Sevastopol District, said the
brothers in Ukraine” and “to spread Sobala, 53, the world’s only relic, a tiny fragment of wood Cyclist claims
information about what is really professional Vladimir Putin just millimetres long mounted
going on, and to somehow reach lookalike. He lives in Wroclaw, in a 19th century metal cross, in Jesus of Nazareth
Russia, to inform the Russian people Poland, where many of the turn encased in a reliquary, was
actor's cockapoo
that this is a real war, not a bloody residents are Ukrainian and he to be transferred at the request
‘special operation’.” euronews.com, fears that, along with anti-war of its owner, an anonymous bit him in London
14 Apr 2022. protesters, they will turn on collector. It is not known,
park
him, but says: “This situation though, if the relic was ever
GOD VS RUSSIAN EMBASSY with the war – I am standing taken aboard the Moskva and road.cc, 11 May 2021.
In what can only be described as with Ukraine. I think that they the Russian embassy in London
a very Irish story, the gates of the have to fi ght.” Refl ecting on his did not respond to a request for
PUPPET MAKERS
Russian embassy in Dublin were future in the lookalike business clarifi cation. The ship was hit
rammed by a communion supplies he added: “I run a transport by a Ukrainian missile which RISE UP AGAINST
lorry during a protest against company; the Putin stuff is extra caused its ammunition store to
THE PUPPET
the invasion of Ukraine. Driver income. I had a lot of respect for explode and set it on fi re, and it
Desmond Wisley reversed his truck [Putin] but now I think that this later sank in rough seas while MASTERS
into the gates, knocking them down, man did a lot of harm and I do being towed back to port, so the
hollywoodreporter.com, 17
while protesters shouted “Bravo!” not know today how I will play relic was clearly ineffective as
Mar 2022.
and “Well done!”, after which Wisley his role in the future.” dailystar. protection. yahoo.com/news, 15
got out of the cab and distributed co.uk, 26 Feb 2022. Apr 2022.
5
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STRANGE DAYS
SIDELINES... THEY DO LIKE IT UP ‘EM!
Foreign bodies found
in the nether regions
FORK IN THE BRAIN
Fairview, Oregon, is seeking a Guin-
ness World Record for the tallest
fork, having installed a 37ft (11m)
one outside a new food truck plaza.
“We wanted something on the
corner, and then one of the design
teams said, let’s just put a fork
here and we’ll come back to it, and
it just kind of stuck in the brain,”
said Mayor Brian Cooper. “You can
come up with an entire marketing
scheme of ‘Take a left at the fork’,
‘The Fork in Fairview’”. The current
tallest fork is 35ft (10.5m) high and
is in Missouri. [UPI] 16 Feb 2022.
CHOPPED POTATO
In Cyprus, locals awoke on New
Year’s Day to fi nd someone had
chopped down the 13ft (4m) “Big
Potato” that stood at the entrance
to the village of Xylophagou. It
had been erected in October to
celebrate the local Spunta potato ABOVE: Christopher Adams, the Indiana farmer found by paramedics drunk, naked and with a chicken sticking out of his bottom.
variety and quickly became a local FACING PAGE: A Brazilian man complaining of abdominal pain and nausea was found to have an eight-inch dumbell in his rectum.
landmark. Previously it had been
graffi tied and draped in Christmas
lights but attracted tourists from • When Indiana paramedics “I can’t imagine After attempts to pull the glass
across the island, partly as its were called out to an emergency out of the man’s rectum with an
shape was reputed to be sugges- in a rural area, they found that getting it in endoscopic tool failed, doctors
tive. <i> 4 Jan 2022. 57-year-old chicken farmer eventually had to operate to
could have been
Christopher Adams lying remove the item. Dr Mahmudal
MIGHTY THAW
drunk on his henhouse fl oor, any fun either” Hasan, head of the team of
After competing in the 50km (31 naked, covered in blood and operating doctors, said: “How
mile) skiing event at the Beijing with a live, fi ve-pound (2.3kg) the glass got inside the body
Olympics in exceptionally cold chicken sticking out of his of the said patient is still a
conditions, Finnish skier Remi Lind- rectum, clucking loudly. After damaging that I can’t imagine mystery.” ladbible.com, 24 Feb
holm needed a heat pack to thaw unsuccessfully attempting to that getting it in could have 2022.
out his penis, which had become
remove the bird there and then, been any fun either.” Shelby
frozen despite the insulating suits they took Adams and his chicken County Sheriff’s Department • Slightly more honest about
and thermal underlayers he wore.
to hospital where the hen was and the American Society for her situation was a 45-year-old
This was the second time he had
extracted in a delicate seven- the Prevention of Cruelty to woman from Tunisia admitted
needed emergency genital thawing
hour operation, with both man Animals (ASPCA) have both to the Academic Hospital Habib
to avoid frostbite after a race, hav-
and chicken surviving. launched investigations and the Bourguiba with a urinary tract
ing suffered a similar experience in
“The bird was dying of ASPCA have taken custody of infection (UTI). Scans by her
Finland last year. “When the body
parts started to warm up after the suffocation when it got here. It the chicken and say they will doctors revealed she had an
fi nish, the pain was unbearable,” had already badly lacerated the treat it for any symptoms of post- 8cm (3in) wide stone in her
he said. theguardian.co.uk, 20 Feb patient’s bowels in a desperate traumatic stress. newjerseybrief. bladder – bladder stones are
2022. attempt to get out and was still com, 12 Mar 2022. usually too small to easily see
gashing at it like crazy,” said with the naked eye – after which
a hospital spokesperson. The • After a 55-year-old man from the patient admitted she had
chicken suffered only minor Bihar, India, was admitted to inserted a glass tumbler into
injuries, but Adams needed hospital with constipation her urethra four years before
seven blood transfusions and and severe abdominal pain, while using it as a sex toy and
more than 780 stitches. At the ultrasound and X-rays had not been able to get it out.
time of reporting Adams had pinpointed the source of the This had travelled up into her
not regained consciousness problem: a whole glass blocking bladder and become calcifi ed,
and been able to account for his intestine. He maintained creating the giant stone. Doctors
the incident, but Dr Aurelius that he had accidentally operated and removed the
Thomas who carried out the swallowed it while drinking obstruction and when they
operation said: “I don’t really tea, but his doctors cracked it open, they found the
S know how the bird got feel this is unlikely glass still intact inside. After
S
N RO there; getting as the œsophagus two days, the woman was well
MARTI icto omupt lwicaast esod and iascnc’to mwimdeo deantoeu ag hg ltaos s. etrneoautmghe tnot greom haoimnes .p “rTehveen bteivset
6
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STRANGE DAYS
SIDELINES...
by balancing the underlying
etiopathogenic disorder and by
a good sex education,” said her
doctors. the-sun.com, 16 Mar BLOODY HELL!
2022.
Police in Reading, Berkshire, are
searching for a man caught on
• An understandably unnamed CCTV emptying a bag of blood
15-year-old boy from London in the street outside the town’s
ended up in hospital after he branch of John Lewis. No local
decided to use a knotted USB hospitals had seen someone
cable to “measure the length with injuries that would account
of his penis” out of “sexual for the blood, so police are car-
curiosity”. Instead of laying rying out forensic investigations
it alongside his member, then to determine whether it was
measure it with a ruler, he human, saying: “At this point, we
decided that the best course do not believe the source of the
blood is as a result of an assault,
of action was to insert the
although we retain an open mind
knotted cable into his urethra,
as to these unusual circumstanc-
where it got stuck, with both fully recovered after six months. were found concealed in the
es.” BBC News, 23 Feb 2022.
ends hanging out. After several nypost.com, 25 Feb 2022. man’s rectum. Inside the capsules
attempts to remove it himself were small metal granules WASN’T ME GUV…
were unsuccessful, resulting in • A 54-year-old man turned up of almost pure gold worth
When Eric Holland, 57, was
him urinating large amounts of at a hospital in the Brazilian 42,739,310 rupees (£439,000). An
pulled over by police in Las Vegas
blood, he called an ambulance city of Manaus suffering from airport offi cial confi rmed: “The
for driving a stolen Chevrolet
and was rushed to hospital. “cramping, abdominal pain, 791 gram gold of 99.50 per cent
Avalanche truck, a search of
There, accident and emergency nausea, vomiting in small [purity] was extracted and was
the vehicle revealed a cooler
staff also failed to dislodge the volume and constipation”. An seized.” perthnow.com, 26 Apr
containing body parts belonging
cable, even with special tools, initial anal probing failed to 2022.
to Richard Miller, who had died
and eventually operated, making reveal the cause, so doctors of gunshot wounds, resulting in
an incision between the genitals X-rayed the patient, described • A report has been published charges of murder as well as car
and anus that allowed them to as “uncooperative”, and found in the Royal College of Surgeons theft. Holland, though, maintains
cut away the knot and free the an eight-inch (20cm) long, of England Annals analysing the he is innocent, and just hap-
rest of the cable for removal. four-pound (1.8kg) dumbbell number of “manual removal pened to have stolen a vehicle
Surprisingly, this is not the only jammed at the intersection of of foreign body from rectum” with body parts already stashed
case on record of complications the man’s rectum and colon. procedures carried out by the in it. D.Mirror, 8 Jan 2022.
caused by a urethrally inserted He then admitted it had been NHS in England. It has found
USB cable: there have also been there for two days after he that between 2010 and 2019 SMART MAGPIES
two in China, one involving a had used it for purposes “of a doctors had to remove 3,500 Scientists tracking Australian
13-year-old boy and another a sexual nature”. Fortunately, the objects ‘accidentally’ jammed magpies discovered some star-
man who had “regretfully” tried unwisely inserted item had not in patients’ anuses and that tling new behaviour, but not what
to imitate an extreme porn video yet caused an anal perforation treating them cost the NHS they were looking for. Within 10
while drunk. Elsewhere, an or other severe injury, so an average of £340,000 a year, minutes of attaching the tracking
Indonesian man managed to get medics sedated the patient and around £850 per object, made devices to fi ve magpies, one had
six feet (1.8m) of string stuck in attempted to remove it with up of the costs of the removal been pecked off by another bird
his urethra. metro.co.uk, 17 Sept forceps. This proved impossible, itself, anæsthetic drugs, the time in the fl ock, and within three days
all of them had had their trackers
2021. so the team went for “manual of health staff and the hospital
removed in the same way. This is
extraction” which involved a stay. They also discovered that
• In Tehran, it was a 49-year-old surgeon reaching in with their most of the patients were men, the fi rst time that scientists have
seen birds co-operating altruisti-
man who did something unwise forearm, grasping the weight and the largest number were in
cally like this. sciencealert.com,
with his urethra, inserting and waggling it out. Their timely their 20s and 50s. They also found
22 Feb 2022.
an AA battery and getting it intervention meant the man was that the number of incidents had
stuck. He left it there for 24 able to leave hospital after three been steadily increasing over the MONKEY KONG
hours before the pain forced days without complications. period they investigated, with
Visitors videoing a monkey sitting
him to seek medical attention, nypost.com, 12 Apr 2022. almost twice as many foreign
atop a 20ft (6m) pole at Chester
resulting in his case forming the objects removed in 2018/19
basis for a paper in the journal • In Jaipur, India, a man was (518) compared to 2010/11. The Zoo got more than they bargained
for when the animal snatched a
Urology Case Reports. Apparently, stopped at the airport after researchers said that the number
passing seagull from the sky and
despite the successful removal “acting suspiciously” and found was probably an underestimate,
battered it to death. The primate
of the obstruction the man to have almost a kilogram of gold as it didn’t include procedures then licked the blood from its
continued to experience a up his bottom. The passenger in private hospitals, and it also fi ngers, disembowelled the bird
burning sensation when he tried had arrived on an Air Arabia excluded items that had got and ate the offal. After the video
to urinate and “recurrence of fl ight, where offi cials claimed stuck in other locations. The NHS appeared on TikTok with com-
obstructive and irritating urinary that the man’s manner alerted appealed to anyone exploring ments comparing the monkey to
symptoms including dysuria them that something was amiss. anal play to do so safely, and to King Kong, a viewer added: “That
[and] decreased urinary force” They investigated, “a personal use an object with a fl ared base monkey is living the dream! I’ve
caused by scar tissue formed due search was carried out” and to prevent it from getting lost wanted to do that every time my
to exposure to toxic chemicals three transparent polyethylene inside them. dailymail.co.uk, 10 chips were stolen.” manchester-
in the battery. Despite this, he capsules wrapped in white plastic Nov 2021. eveningnews.co.uk, 10 Mar 2022.
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STRANGE DAYS
SIDELINES... GOOD NEWS
Easter miracles and relics on display, plus new
theories on the Crucifixion and the Shroud
LIGHTNING BREAKS
According to NHS Digital, 18
people were admitted to hospital
having been struck by lightning in
2020/21, six times as many as in
the previous year. They believe this
increase was a result of the pan-
demic, which meant many people
holidayed at home and took part
in outdoor leisure activities such
as golf, fi shing, hill walking and
camping, all of which put people
at increased risk from lightning
strikes. D.Telegraph, 3 Jan 2022.
POLICEMAN GO
Two Los Angeles police offi cers,
Louis Lozano and Eric Mitchell, have
been dismissed from the force for
ignoring a robbery in progress and
instead attempting to catch a Snor-
lax in Pokémon Go. They were fi red
for “wilfully abdicating their duty
to assist a commanding offi cer’s
response to a robbery in progress ABOVE: The painting of Our Lady of Aparecida on the undamaged rear doors of a truck; the rest of the blazing vehicle did not fare
and playing a Pokémon mobile so well. BELOW: Lord of the Sodden Carpet: Father Stepanos Doudoukjian found this watery Christ on Easter morning.
game while on duty”. D.Mirror, 15
Jan 2022.
WHO BY FIRE and thanked God upon
BATMAN BAT When the fi re department entering.” Members of
An Austin, Texas, cinema had to of Laranjeiras do Sul in the the congregation burned
halt a screening of The Batman Brazilian state of Paraná incense in the hallway in
after an actual bat was spotted were called out to deal recognition of the sacred
swooping around the theatre. Ani- with a burning lorry on image, which had dried
mal control were called but could the BR-158 highway, they out and disappeared by
not evict the creature. Patrons were found the vehicle’s cargo 11.30am. wnyt.com, 18 Apr
offered a refund, but most decided box ablaze and despite 2022.
to stay and put up with the extra their efforts, it was almost
bat. The cinema manager believed completely destroyed. WHO BY HIGH ORDEAL
the animal had been released delib- The only parts remaining Easter provided an
erately and said they will be “adding
were the rear doors with opportunity for the Rev.
additional security and checking
a painting of Our Lady of Prof Patrick Pullicino,
all bags upon guest entry.” Austin
Aparecida, the patron saint a former consultant
is famed for the vast colony of
of Brazil, on them, which neurologist at East Kent
Mexican Free-tailed Bats that live
were completely intact Universities Hospitals
under a city bridge. huffpost.com, 7
and undamaged, showing NHS Trust, now a Catholic
Mar 2022.
no sign of the effects of priest, to publish a
HEAD START fi re. Fire department scientifi c analysis of
spokesperson Carlos de Jesus’s death in the
In Denver, Colorado, police are look-
Souza said they could not Catholic Medical Quarterly.
ing for someone who broke into a
explain why the doors Using evidence from the
truck used to transport body parts “It was an Easter
were undamaged saying: “It Bible, mystics, and the Turin
for medical research and made off
with a box of human heads. Police burned very quickly, the only miracle and an Shroud, Pullicino concluded
were asking the public to look out explanation is really something that Jesus probably died as a
for the missing container, which supernatural, a miracle”. apparition of the result of complications related
had “Science Care” written on it. viraltab.news, 12 Jan 2022. to a dislocated right shoulder.
kiro7.com, 5 Mar 2022. Lord” Looking at the Shroud,
WHO BY WATER Pullicino noted that the right
When Father Stepanos hand is 10cm (4in) lower
Doudoukjian, parish priest immediately he realised that than the left, which, he feels,
at St Peter Armenian Church the stain had formed an image suggests dislocation of the
in the appropriately named of Jesus. “It was an Easter shoulder. He also sees evidence
Watervliet, New York, opened miracle and an apparition of of abrasions on the back of
OSS the church doors at 8.30am on the Lord,” Father Doudoukjian the Shroud indicating that
MARTIN R Ebya sat esro dmdoernn ihnagl,l hcaer wpaest wgrheeertee d swaeirde. “aMweasntyr uocfk o buyr ftahiitsh afus lw ell Jheiss urisg shhti fstiedde ttho eh cisr olessft f. rHome
rain had seeped in. Almost and made the sign of the cross believes this is because he fell
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