Flirtation and Courtship in Nineteenth-Century British Culture, Volume 1: Female Power and the Rules of Courtship

303 Pages·2022·3.569 MB·English

by  Ghislaine McDayter, John Hunter

FLIRTATION AND COURTSHIP
IN NINETEENTH-CENTURY
BRITISH CULTURE

FLIRTATION AND
COURTSHIP IN
NINETEENTH-CENTURY
BRITISH CULTURE
Edited by Ghislaine McDayter
and John Hunter
Volume I
Learning to Become a Woman
F irst published 2023
by Routledge
4 Park Square, Milton Park, Abingdon, Oxon OX14 4RN
a nd by Routledge
605 Third Avenue, New York, NY 10158
R outledge is an imprint of the Taylor & Francis Group, an informa business
© 2023 selection and editorial matter, Ghislaine McDayter and John
Hunter; individual owners retain copyright in their own material.
T he right of Ghislaine McDayter and John Hunter to be identifi ed as the
authors of the editorial material, and of the authors for their individual
chapters, has been asserted in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the
Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
A ll rights reserved. No part of this book may be reprinted or reproduced or
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British Library Cataloguing-in-Publication Data
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
A catalog record for this book has been requested
ISBN: 978-0-367-20071-8 (set)
eISBN: 978-0-429-25946-3 (set)
ISBN: 978-0-367-23170-5 (volume I)
eISBN: 978-0-429-27862-4 (volume I)
DOI: 10.4324/9780429278624
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CONTENTS
VOLUME I Learning to Become a Woman
General introduction: the cultivation of woman 1
Introduction to Volume I: learning to become a woman 6
1 The Mother’s Gift: Or a Present for all little Children
Who Are Good (1769) 34
2 James Fordyce , The Character and Conduct of the
Female Sex, and the Advantages to be Derived by Young
Men from the Society of Virtuous Women (1776) 39
3 Sarah Howard, Thoughts on Female Education, with Advice
to Young Ladies (1783) 43
4 John Moir, Female Tuition: or, An Address to Mothers,
on the Education of Daughters (1784) 48
5 ‘The Miseries of Improper Education’ (1789) 68
6 Mary Wollstonecraft, ‘Advertisement’ to S alzmann’s
Elements of Morality (1792) 74
7 ‘A Vision’ (1792) 77
8 The Complete Art of Writing Love Letters; or, the Lover’s
Best Instructor . . . (1795) 81
v
CONTENTS
9 Priscilla Wakefield, Juvenile Anecdotes, Founded on Facts:
Collected for the Amusement of Children (1795–98) 91
1 0 Joseph Robertson, An Essay on the Education of Young
Ladies: Addressed to a Person of Distinction (1798) 101
11 Priscilla Wakefi eld’s R efl ections on the Present
Condition of the Female Sex; with Suggestions for its
Improvement (1798) 107
1 2 Maria Edgeworth and R. L. Edgeworth, Essays on Practical
Education (1798) 122
1 3 Amelia Opie, ‘The Black Velvet Pelisse’ (1806) 141
1 4 Sydney Smith, ‘Review of Advice to Young Ladies on the
Improvement of the Mind , by Thomas Broadhurst’ (1810) 154
15 T he Female Instructor; or, Young Woman’s Companion:
Being a Guide to All the Accomplishments which Adorn
the Female Character . . . (1811) 169
1 6 Mary Brunton, Discipline: A Novel (1814) 178
17 Sarah Green, Gretna Green Marriages: or the Nieces (1823) 189
18 Woman: As She Is, And As She Should Be (1835) 204
19 The Mother the Best Governess. A Practical System for the
Education of Young Ladies (1839) 222
20 Alexander Walker, Woman: Physiologically Considered
as to Mind, Morals, Marriage, Matrimonial Slavery,
Infi delity and Divorce (1839) 228
21 [Eugene Becklard], Physiological Mysteries and Revelations
in Love Courtship and Marriage (1843) 244
22 T. E. G., The Etiquette of Love, Courtship, and
Marriage (1847) 255
vi
CONTENTS
23 T. S. Arthur, ‘Conduct Towards Men’, Advice to Young
Ladies on Their Duties and Conduct in Life (1849) 259
24 Edward Woods, Love, Courtship and Marriage (1855) 265
25 M odern Pastime or, In-Door Amusements . . . (1871) 281
26 H ymen’s Advice to the Ladies: A New Invented
and Entertaining Game of Courtship and Matrimony
(c. 1790) 286
27 T he New Game of Human Life, John Wallis and
Elizabeth Newberry, London, (1790) 287
28 T he Mansion of Happiness (1800) 288
29 B owles’s New Invented and Entertaining Game of Courtship
and Matrimony; to Be Played Not Only with Dice, as
the Goose and Snake, but Also with Cards, or an Index;
with Quotations and Motto’s from Celebrated Songs (1795) 289
I ndex 290
vii

GENERAL INTRODUCTION
The cultivation of woman
Throughout the long nineteenth century, it was a truth universally acknowledged
that the careful adherence to “Woman’s nature” was the single most important
consideration in any young woman’s success in life and love. Conduct books,
philosophical essays, literature, maternity manuals, and educational tracts – no
matter how varied in their political bent or goal – shared the fi rm belief that so
long as a young girl abided by her “proper” Woman’s nature, she would reap the
rewards of acquiring husband, home, and happiness. While the education of both
sexes during the nineteenth century was viewed as the most reliable answer to all
great ills in society, a proper education was held up by the “experts” as the single
most important factor in the success or failure of any given woman’s life trajec-
tory. Men required a solid education to make them better citizens, of course, but
women needed an education to instill in them the skills to become a woman. For
men, as the author of The Female Instructor: or Young Woman’s Companion
(1811) asserts, “education is known to have a powerful infl uence in forming the
tempers and characters . . .: it is therefore necessary, as soon as the mind is capa-
ble of comprehending the social ties, to cherish, with the utmost vigilance, that
benevolence which is the bond of society.” Women were given no such goal. So,
while the education of men set out “to strengthen that sense of right and wrong
which makes a distinguished part of the human constitution” (Female Instructor,
p. 9) women needed to be educated in the categories of right and wrong, only in
as much as they could be recognized as such in desirable men. Their own moral
education was explicitly performative since they were admonished to achieve
those “distinguishing virtues . . . which will render them amiable in the eyes
of prudent young men” (below p. 175). A young girl’s central educational task,
then, was not to acquire the inner wealth that would allow her to form a stron-
ger character, but rather to effortlessly perform the culturally encoded feminine
characteristics of “cleanliness, neatness of dress, modesty, sweetness of temper,
industry, sobriety and frugality,” thus proving herself to be a desirable woman
(below p. 175).
A faulty education, on the other hand, could embolden a girl in her passionate
youthful tendencies, her vanity, and her petty willfulness, resulting in tragedy
DOI: 10.4324/9780429278624-1 1