Fit Birds - The Afflicted Yard

21 Pages·2007·1.29 MB·English

FIRST
™
No. 4 Fit Birds
124 WHEN PUMA RULED THE WORLD
126 THE OLD INSTAMATIC
130 PILATE´S ERR
132
142 RAYMOND
144 PEDDLERS
150 PINKY`S WORLD FAMOUS ICE CREAM DREAM
154 THE GREAT ESCAPE
158 FIRST PEOPLE
FIRST 123
“I CAN’T ENVISAGE ANOTHER OPPORTUNITY LIKE THIS FOR JAMAICA TO SELL ITSELF ON A GLOBAL STAGE.”
Terry Parris, Puma Jamaica Brand Manager
As the Caribbean braces for the inevitable arrival of yet another ‘youth savvy’ multinational corporation—MTV—we thought this
might be a good time to recall the last time our shores were visited by smiling strangers who came bearing gifts, promises of
prosperity and free yellow t-shirts. A time…

WHEN PUMA RULED THE WORLD
48 Percentage jump in net quarterly profits for July £??? Cost of the ‘Rasta tam’ worn by Puma designer
2004—US$67 million, up from US$45.1 million Paul Taylor as he told a Channel 4 film crew that
July 2003. This was largely attributed to their Jamaica was a “fun country whose culture, music
Jamaica campaign.* and religion” was great for selling shoes. **
23 People who admitted wearing Puma trainers in 0 Number of basketball courts (or anything) built
2002, one year before Jamaican colours, flags and by Puma in Jamaica before, during or after their
slogans were slapped all over them. 2003 invasion.
355 Number of times Puma brand manager Helen 15-20 Number of years that Puma promised, “Jamaicans
Sweeney-Dougan promised various Dancehall would be proud” following their involvement with
DJs that wearing Puma would give them better Puma at the 2004 Athens Olympics.
“international crossover appeal” and “visibility in
magazines that wouldn’t touch them otherwise.” 20,000 Number of guests Puma promised to deliver at
their Jamaica-themed Athens party.
2000 Approximate number of guests at Puma’s much-
hyped red carpet event at Kingston’s Terra Nova 350 Approximate number of guests who showed up.
hotel in 2003.
* American City Business Journals Inc
2 Number of seconds it took Helen Sweeney- (July 27, 2004).
Dougan to storm off after being asked by ** Trainers, Reggae and the Olympics
Entertainment Report at the party if Puma had (Documentary shown on Channel 4, 2004).
actually invested anything in Jamaica besides a *** Photo: Puma Brand Manager
few free trainers and wristbands. Helen Sweeney-Dougan, 2003.
124 FIRST
THE OLD INSTAMATIC
Luck, style and fashion in the days before digital
126 FIRST

usual, he approached, left hand out, muttering, begging. Hold- up the lane and round the corner to the shop where the walking
ing the baby, my friend reached into his pocket with his one free dead was supping his last stout.
hand and the Assassin seized the time. He pulled a Jimmy from I knew them to be inexperienced, and followed in the shad-
PILATE’S ERR his waist and pointed it at my friend. ows behind where I waited while they turned the corner.
Surprised or in disbelief, my friend laughed. “CLAP! CLAP!”
But the Assassin stared blankly and my friend’s smile faded. I heard almost immediately, followed by the sight of them
As an experienced murderer, he knew he had been tricked. careening round the corner as if chased by devils or the police or
“CLAP! CLAP!” barked the Jimmy. worse. I had instructed them to shoot
pilate My friend fell to the ground, his the Conspirator and drag the body
baby landing in the dirt beside him. into the lane. But youths nowadays
The Assassin stood over and aimed are incapable of following simple
again to finish the job. instructions.
“STICK!” stalled the Jimmy. Unconvinced they had complet-
“STICK! STICK!” it stalled twice ed the task, I moved to the corner and
more. stepped round it to see the Conspirator
By this time my friend’s real with two flesh wounds, crawling in a
warriors had heard the explosions desperate attempt to scrape his way
and were running to the scene. The to safety. Stepping swiftly towards
once upon a time a group of murderers conspired to murder tribalism and offered oneness. But some warriors, real dogs as mob rounded the corner and stopped the Conspirator, I stood over him,
a murderer. they turned out to be, could not agree. They wanted war because sharply, shocked at the sight of their and with a grin, raised my weapon.
The murderer was once my mortal enemy, but was a man war is an excuse to engage in all sorts of awful acts. Make no leader laid on the ground in his own A few hours later, when the police
I came to respect. He came from another tribe, a powerful and mistake. I loved awful acts as much as the next mongrel—but my dark blood, eyes half-open; life gone. were examining the scene, civilians
respected leader of his legion. For decades we had been at war, eyes were on the Ice Box and peace served my purposes better His baby cried loudly. from the community saw them take
generations of fatherless warriors growing up to avenge and than war. The mob descended upon the wads of cash from the blood-splashed
perpetuate, but, just at that moment, a wave of calm had swept Peace, they decided, threatened their livelihood, their Assassin. Revenge was exacted but pants and shirt of the Conspirator.
our nation’s gullies and trenches. want for pillage and their petty crimes. They decided to get rid my friend was still dead, and I, de- Word soon spread that the money in
The Twin Towers Downtown had signed a very public of my friend and so a plot was hatched, a link was made and the prived of a return to the Ice Box. the Conspirator’s pocket was the fee
peace treaty that set the tone for all gullies and trenches. For it Assassin emerged to do the deed. So, the Assassin’s death was not sent from the Ice Box to accomplish
was thought if the Twin Towers would make peace, all warriors enough. the death of my friend. It was reputed
could, some said should, lower their arms. The Assassin to be a tidy sum.
I am Pilate, an alias bestowed on me since my return from The Conspiritor That I had slipped that badly—
the Ice Box where they had locked me away for ten years, earned He was wrapped in dirty rags, hair uncombed into wild knots not even checking his pockets before
by shooting and narcotics offenses. And so it happened that af- and grime etched deep into his skin. Dismissed as a wandering We soon learned of the plot and I departed—filled me with hate. But
ter four years I was offered my freedom on the condition that I half-wit, his entrance into my friend’s Kingdom was all too easy. He how it had been funded from the Ice luckily for my sanity the police found
return home. I took the offer. mumbled gibberish unless begging for silver or food. He began to Box. Ten days after his death, we were resting in our trenches no Jimmy on the Conspirator —imagine if I had missed that as
Once home, I resumed my old living—the way I knew best sleep rough under some tired sheets of discarded zinc at the end one late afternoon when word reached that one of the conspira- well?
—but with one eye remaining always on the Ice Box. And I will of my friend’s lane, and each day he would beg—sometimes silver, tors had strayed to a small shop on our borderline to visit a fe- My shame was compounded by the thought I could have
not deny I formed an alliance with my former enemy, in the trust sometimes more. This continued for more than a month, until he, male companion. As many had fallen before him, the Conspira- enjoyed the spoils that were sent to pay those who had killed my
that he would help me to return—as he was of higher rank and like the excrement, became part of the lane. tor’s fate was sealed by the lust of a woman. friend. How could I have done such a thing? How could I have
might increase my chances of escape. One morning my friend stood at his gate, cradling his baby I decided then would be a good time to blood two young walked away like that when I am so hungry?
Perhaps forced by the Twin Towers, my friend overlooked under the protective shade of a sprawling East Indian tree. As warriors and I summoned them. Both given a Jimmy and directed What a wicked act. How could I be so cruel to myself?
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PHOTOGRAPHY BY STYLING BY
PETER DEAN RICKARDS KAYSIAN L. WILSON
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