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Finding Love Through Female Domination RENEE LANE With original illustrations by Amitabha Naskar Find him at https://amitabha.carbonmade.com/ Copyright © 2016 by Renee Lane. Library of Congress Control Number: 2016913665 ISBN: Hardcover 978-1-5245-3589-6 Softcover 978-1-5245-3588-9 eBook 978-1-5245-3587-2 All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental. Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only. Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock. Rev. date: 08/23/2016 Xlibris 1-888-795-4274 www.Xlibris.com 746069 Contents Introduction Chapter 1 At the BeginningPhilosophy Chapter 2 Service Chapter 3 Discipline Chapter 4 Blackmail Chapter 5 Psychological Control Chapter 6 Humiliation Chapter 7 Practical Matters Chapter 8 Sexuality Chapter 9 Spirituality Chapter 10 The End Game Denouement Final words Introduction This is the story of my ten-year struggle to transform my loving boyfriend into a completely submissive partner. It was a steeper path than either of us anticipated. It took my efforts, his devotion, and the help of several women to complete this journey. An S&M relationship, particularly an S&M relationship where the woman rules, is the last taboo between consenting adults. I predict that our society will eventually grow more accustomed to female-led couples much like it accustomed itself to gay couples. It must, because many of us in the S&M community are coming out of the closet. I met Butler, my submissive, through mutual acquaintances. Several months after we started dating, he finally summoned the courage to tell me of his long-held but secret desire to find a dominatrix to teach him submission. To my complete joy I was honestly able to tell him that I was eager to join him on this adventure because I also secretly shared his dream of dominating one special man. My slave, Butler, is my great love. He is the wisest and best man I have ever known. His commitment to our lifestyle humbles me. His courage has made our life together possible. One of the first requirements I had for him was to keep a journal of his experiences. In it he was to describe what happened and his reaction. I wanted to gauge his response to the techniques I planned to employ to enslave him. These excerpts from his journal were never meant for publication, so they are not a consistent or complete representation of our progress. They do, however, reveal some of the struggles we have had as we progressed. In addition, I gathered a collection of pertinent e-mails to and from my friend Heather that reveal my intentions and my compromises as we journeyed down this path. Heather’s e-mails are important because her reintroduction into my life jumpstarted my deeper training of Butler. After making minimum progress on my own, I discovered that dominating a man required support from at least one other woman. From his journal entries and our e-mails, I have cobbled together a narrative of our lives of the past decade. I organized this writing chronologically as events happened but also under separate headings because as we progressed we were often working on different aspects of his submission. You will find that things move slowly at first in this story because that’s the way events should unfold in a serious S&M relationship, but if you keep reading, you will notice how intense and real his training eventually becomes. I do not recommend that every couple interested in a female-led relationship attempt this lifestyle. Our journey took an enormous amount of trust in each other and a complete commitment that is rare. However, once started down this path it’s hard not to want more. My suggestion is to proceed with caution. In my opinion, the practice of female domination should come with a warning label. “Releasing the id and the latent spiritual power of a woman can easily consume a man.” You’ve likely found this book in the erotica or fiction section of the bookstore. This book has often been mislabeled. Yes, I changed our names to protect our privacy but you’ll know the truth of this story when you read it. Ms. Renee Lane Venice, Florida Chapter One AT THE BEGINNING PHILOSOPHY January 2009 Dear Heather, I’m so glad we found each other on Facebook! Recently, things have been happening in my life that caused me to think often of you. I can’t believe you’ve been married two times already! You’ve been busy! My boyfriend has started discussing marriage but I’m leery of the idea. I’m glad we’re back in touch. I’m happy that you have found a submissive girlfriend. Remember when we were dorm mates in college and we would stay up until the early hours fantasizing about owning a submissive playmate we could turn into our slave? College boys just weren’t ready for us! In truth, we weren’t ready either. I always thought it was weird and very ironic that two young women with dominant desires were put in the same dorm room. It’s like we filled out a questionnaire, and because we said we liked the same thing they put us together without thinking it would have been better to pair us with a submissive. Ha! Looking back, I’m surprised we didn’t kill each other. Now look at us. We both have someone on whom to practice our dominatrix fantasies. You asked me about my boyfriend. I think I have found the one man willing to go as far as I want to take an S&M relationship. Only you can imagine how far I want to go. I’m eager to tell you everything because I don’t have anyone else who will understand what’s happening to me but you. You know that I was never interested in a routine relationship. My problem, I’m sure you’ll remember, is that I bore easily. I crave challenge and excitement. I especially long for a high level of intensity in my relationships. Like you, my path of self-discovery led me to understand that I am a sexual dominant. I was not shocked concerning my erotic predilections because I have always had fantasies of dominating my lovers even before I met you. As a little girl, I spent hours tying up my dolls! I never knew anyone who shared my fantasies until I met you. Somehow, knowing that you felt the same way made me feel more comfortable in my skin. I remember the terribly wonderful things we used to do together in school when we found the right kind of guy to practice on! Sometimes I wonder what ever happened to some of them. I’m afraid we may have left a few of them traumatized. I’d feel bad but I remember that they often only came back looking for more! Ha! After graduating, I gradually introduced myself to the local S&M scene here in Memphis and became familiar with the usual practices of bondage and discipline. I eventually collected the necessary accoutrement of the lifestyle dominatrix and began experimenting by dominating different men and women who interested me. I moved back to the historic part of Memphis, so I own an older home with a huge attic room. I’ve made that into my playroom. It’s been fun to make my boyfriend build most of the equipment I use on him. He and I connect on many levels both intellectually and emotionally. We share roughly the same political views and interests. He also has musical ability that I find attractive. We even love the same books. I see too many people, especially men, trying to find a kinky partner without also seeking a life partner. I think it’s important to find someone who you would be happy with even without S&M play. Ha! As if people like us could be happy without this! After finding the right man, I am excited to be disciplining him within the safe space that we have created. However, my goal now is to do more than play bedroom bondage games. My new goal is to make him my slave in a very real and practical manner. I think I can take this further than you and I ever imagined even in our fantasies. The reason I think I can be successful is that we both want this. He longs to submit to me. It sounds like we are a perfect match but it has been difficult to overcome the constant influence of vanilla culture. As I’m sure you know, one simply doesn’t torture one’s partner in polite society. Instead, our relationship stays buried deep in the closet. Societal norms are suffocating for a couple like us. Despite these norms, we have had many long talks about what we are willing to do to achieve a union filled with enough physical and emotional intensity to keep us satisfied. The thought of being truly owned by me excited him. I made it clear when he asked for more that I would not limit my dominance to the bedroom. I was not interested in dressing the part for a kinky evening then becoming a mere equal the next morning. If he wanted to be my slave in the bedroom, then he would have to become my servant outside of it. He readily agreed to do whatever was necessary to make his slavery practical. We knew it would take years of work but we both committed to something real.