Extraordinary Influence: How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others

179 Pages·2018·0.99 MB·English

by  Tim Irwin

Table of Contents
Cover
Title Page
Foreword
Part I: The Science of Extraordinary Influence
1 The Blue Suitcase Phenomenon
Where Does Your Organization Eat?
The Conundrum
Task-Driven Leadership
Macho Management
Bring Out the Best in Others
Notes
2 Words of Life
Pulled by Purpose
Our Brains Love Affirmation
Not Really Affirmation
Affirmation—The Means to Influence
Notes
Part II: How Extraordinary Influence Works
3 Tactical Affirmation
How Do We Affirm the Style of Those We Seek to Influence?
Style and Receptivity
Competence
Why Affirm
Note
4 Strategic Influence
What Is Our Core and How Do We Reach the Core of Another
Person?
Words of Life
What Are Words of Life?
Under What Conditions Can We Give Words of Life?
Notes
5 Words of Death
Words of Death
The Social Workplace
Shame Speaks Words of Death
The Worst of All Legacies
Can a Leader's Fundamental Style Change to Become Less Critical?
Join My Crusade
Notes
6 Alliance Feedback
Alliance Feedback
Caveat Emptor: This Approach May Not Work
Notes
7 Extraordinary Influence for Underperformers
True Story 1
True Story 2
True Story 3
The Three Stories Called for Three Different Remedies
How Do We Make These Judgments That Have Such a Huge Impact
on People's Lives?
To Whom Should We Direct Our Limited Developmental Resources?
How Much Compassion?
Resistance to Dealing with a Problem Person
The Him or Me Card
The Virtue of Redemption
Part III: Special Applications of Extraordinary Influence
8 Extraordinary Influence for Teams
The Three Levers
A Team's Collective Core
Extraordinary Influence on the It—the Mission or Quest of the Team
Extraordinary Influence—Healing the I, We, and It of the Broken
Organization or Team
Conclusion
Notes
9 Motivating High Potentials
A Great Test for Leaders
Four Transformational Actions to Bring Out the Best in HiPos
Notes
10 Performance Appraisals that Lead to Extraordinary Influence
What Must Any Reinvention of Performance Feedback Include?
Notes
11 Special Counsel to Parents, Teachers, and Coaches
Courage to Fight for Our Children's Well-Being
Words of Life—The Fuel to Reach a High Orbit
The Tragedy of Words of Death
College Football: An Amazing Laboratory Experiment
Alliance Feedback for Children
The I, We, and It for Families
The Conundrum of Hardship and Adversity
Final Counsel to Parents, Teachers, and Coaches
Notes
12 What Would Happen If We Put This into Practice?
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Index
End User License Agreement
List of Illustrations
Chapter 3
Figure 3.1 Three Faces of a Leader
Figure 3.2 How Tactical and Strategic Influence are Applied
Chapter 8
Figure 8.1 Balancing of the “I, We and It.”
Chapter 10
Figure 10.1 Dilbert Cartoon
Tim Irwin hits a needed reset button in Extraordinary Influence. He compels
us to consider the power of our words, to build up and to tear down. From my
observations in 50-plus years of business leadership, this book's focus on
“affirmation” is right on target as the central ingredient in building a
dedicated team and productive work environment. It is rich in uncommon
wisdom and immediately applicable in your spheres of influence.
John D. Beckett
Chairman, The Beckett Companies
Author: Loving Monday and Mastering Monday
Combining fresh insights from neuroscience and behavioral psychology with
a lifetime of real-world experience with CEOs and other leaders, Irwin gives
us a template to “help bring out the best in others.” Many of his teachings are
counter-intuitive and challenge traditional leadership guidance. That's when
Tim is at his best.”
David W. Miller, PhD,
Director, Princeton University Faith & Work Initiative;
President, The Avodah Institute
Prepare to be disrupted. Tim's latest book challenges decades of accepted
approaches to the motivation of others. Any of us who lead an organization
want the members of our organizations to flourish. Tim uses his experiences,
the latest science, and the wisdom of highly effective CEOs to guide us into a
better approach. This book is a must read for anyone serious about improving
their leadership.
Greg Brown
CEO Learfield
If we, as leaders, are only as good as the people we lead, it behooves us to
bring out their best. In Extraordinary Influence, Dr. Tim Irwin provides a
practical and intuitive guide, backed by science, on how we can bring out the
best and motivate others.
Jim Lindemann
Executive Vice President, Emerson
There are many people today offering insights about leadership, but few are
as engaging and interesting as my friend Tim Irwin. In Extraordinary
Influence he reminds us that the best leaders are those who are invested in the
betterment of those around them. It's a powerful book!
Jim Daly,
President – Focus on the Family
There is so much polarization in our country at the present time, with verbal
barbs ever present in our political and economic debate. Into this context
comes a timely book, that if taken seriously by enough people, can result in
healthier and more productive workplaces. It can result in more efficient
government. It can result in happier and more stable families. The power of
words is something we do not think about nearly as much as we should and
Tim Irwin has made a compelling case for the power of words of affirmation
that are timely and truthful.
Howard Dahl
CEO, Amity Technology Corporation
Chairman, Astarta Holding N.V.
Don't we want to bring out the best in our family, the members of our team,
our employees and those in our circle of influence? Dr. Irwin reiterates
throughout the text, just how much words matter. He eloquently and
scientifically explains how both “Words of Life” and “Words of Death” can
affect another's core (that part of us where beliefs are stored, opinions
formed, and feelings happen). “Words of Life” ‐ spoken authentically to
another person ‐ have the power to positively transform that individual's life.
If you want to leave the people in your life better than you found them,
Extraordinary Influence is a must-read.
Lisa Nichols,
CEO
Technology Partners
It is said that great employers create an environment where their associates
can bring their full selves to work. In many respects, that is a fundamental
aspect of building an engaging workplace. But what if we could create
something even more impactful? Dr. Irwin points out that both the art and
science of great leadership proves that by speaking words of Life into our
people, there is both an emotional and physical response that literally changes
who we are and leads us to even greater levels of performance. A culture of
high performance demands what this book brings to the table.
Scott MacLellan
CEO
TouchPoint Support Services and Morrison Community Living
In his new book Extraordinary Influence Dr Irwin zeroes in on a little
understood key to inspirational, powerful leadership, the ability to influence.
He dissects the nuances and elements of influence which can empower
leaders from all parts of an organization, democratize the ability to lead, and
flatten the leadership hierarchy of effective organizations.”
Kevin Race
Executive Vice President
Consumer Operations
SunTrust Bank
Extraordinary INFLUENCE
How Great Leaders Bring Out the Best in Others

Tim Irwin, Ph.D.
Copyright © 2018 Dr. Tim Irwin. All rights reserved.
Published by John Wiley & Sons, Inc., Hoboken, New Jersey.
Published simultaneously in Canada.
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data:
Names: Irwin, Tim, 1949–
Title: Extraordinary influence : how great leaders bring out the best in others / Tim Irwin.
Description: Hoboken : Wiley, 2018. | Includes index. |
Identifiers: LCCN 2017058808 (print) | LCCN 2018000083 (ebook) | ISBN 9781119464440 (pdf) | ISBN
9781119464433 (epub) | ISBN 9781119464426 (hardback) | ISBN 9781119464440 (ePDF)
Subjects: LCSH: Leadership. | Personnel management. | BISAC: BUSINESS & ECONOMICS / Human
Resources & Personnel Management. | BUSINESS & ECONOMICS Leadership. | BUSINESS &
ECONOMICS Management.
Classification: LCC HD57.7 (ebook) | LCC HD57.7 .I793 2018 (print) | DDC 658.4/092—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2017058808
Cover Design: Wiley