Existential Kink

226 Pages·2020·4.491 MB·English

by  Carolyn Elliott

“Elliott, in this evocative debut, encourages the exploration of taboo desires
hidden within the unconscious mind.”
—Publishers Weekly
“Carolyn’s words cut through the popular light-washed self-help and spiritual
canon, offering deep soul relief and a celebration that warmly invites our
shadows to be unleashed from closets shrouded by shame.”
—Alexandra Roxo, author of F*ck Like a Goddess: Heal Yourself.
Reclaim Your Voice. Stand in Your Power.
ucked into our unconscious are the repressed, tabooed, primal, uncom-
Tfortable, and unwanted aspects of ourselves, which, when they manifest in
our lives, can cause stuck, painful patterns of existence. Why do we always find
ourselves choosing an abusive partner or boss, settling for less, thinking that we’re
undeserving? It’s because, argues Carolyn Elliott, PhD, we refuse to a cknowledge
the unconscious pleasure we derive from the taboo side—the shadow side—of
our being, what Elliott calls our “existential kink.” This “dark side” can make us
feel powerless and often holds us back from our life’s goals. But it also holds
profound transformative power.
In Existential Kink, Elliott offers practical advice and exercises for loving and
accepting our shadow side’s “guilty pleasures,” and shows how to integrate them
into our whole being. When we do the uncomfortable work of bringing these
unconscious desires into our consciousn ess—by giving them a vast, t aboo-level
approval—then they lose their fateful power to mess with us. When we unleash
the transformative magic of our existential kink, we turn all of its “raw, hot, glori-
ous power” toward getting what we truly desire so we can live the life we deserve.
Carolyn Elliott, PhD, is an author and teacher who specializes in helping
people achieve dramatic positive change in their lives through shadow integra-
tion practices and applied occult philosophy. She is the creator of several pop-
ular online courses and founder of the online magazine Witch. She earned her
PhD in Critical and Cultural Studies from the University of Pittsburgh and now re-
sides in Pennsylvania with her family. Visit her at www.carolyn graceelliott.com.
www.redwheelweiser.com
US$15.95
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What People Are Saying about
Existential Kink
“Carolyn’s words cut through the popular light-washed self-help
and spiritual canon, offering deep soul relief and a celebration
that warmly invites our shadows to be unleashed from clos-
ets shrouded by shame. Beyond soul relief, Carolyn shows us
that our spiritual growth and magical practices can be deeply
fun even in their slimiest iteration. Her skillful way of teaching
ancient tantra and alchemy that we can access without robes,
mantras, or gurus is a gift.”
—Alexandra Roxo, author of
F*ck Like a Goddess: Heal Yourself.
Reclaim Your Voice. Stand in Your Power.
“Elliott, in this evocative debut, encourages the exploration of
taboo desires hidden within the unconscious mind. Elliott uses
the Jungian concept of the shadow to posit that repressed and
denied aspects of oneself manifest in negative ways, and she
moves on to argue that individuals, on an unconscious level, can
enjoy these feelings, and ‘get off’ on the ‘forbidden enjoyment’
they bring to one’s shadow. Her meditation method (existential
kink) is presented as a radical, somatic, hot, immediately practi-
cal and quick method to bring these patterns to light, therefore
dismantling them by tapping into one’s unconscious mind and
soul-spirit realms through meditative and spell-casting prac-
tices. Elliott’s novel methods could help spiritual readers looking
to bring more positivity into their lives.”
—Publishers Weekly
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“I have a confession to make. There are some painful stories of
my past that I have held on to for far too long. It never made
sense on the surface. Why would I obsess over these situations?
Why can’t I just let them go? Carolyn Elliott’s Existential Kink
provided the answer that I’ve been searching for all these years:
on some level, I ‘got off’ on these sad stories. Playing martyr felt
good. When I began applying the practices in this book, I was
able to turn around that thinking and release those trauma tales
once and for all. This book will challenge you to look at your
shadow side in a new way. Instead of ignoring it or covering
up the old scars with ‘love and light,’ you’ll learn how to find
power in the darkness. When you do that, a funny thing hap-
pens: you’re free.”
—Theresa Reed, author of Astrology For Real Life:
A No B.S. Guide for the Astro-Curious
“This is shadow integration made practical and completely under-
standable. No one else explains shadow integration in such a way
that it makes solid sense. It can be so difficult to embrace parts
of your being that you’ve been rejecting your entire life let alone
see those parts. But I love that Carolyn finds a way to poetically
and articulately explain why it’s so important and that she teaches
how to do it in simple stages!”
—Akhera Unpa Shepsutera
“It straight up works. The Existential Kink method is effective in
bringing emotions up and out. I finally have a tool that takes the
mystery out of any emotion. Emotions are no longer torturous
devices that stick around forever.”
—Ellen Garbarino
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“Existential Kink is such a liberating approach to seeing and fac-
ing my dramas and traumas. The way it twists my victimhood into
strengths, debilitating my blame reactions, is maddening and now
unstoppable. I am facing myself better. I am seeing my self-pity
and reactivity in new light. I am much closer to taking full respon-
sibility for my life. And I am doing all that with a lighter heart and
a lack of self-loathing.”
—Moira Lowe
“I admit that I am still learning to celebrate and ‘get off’ on the
fuckups instead of the old knee-jerk reaction of disappointment.
It’s definitely a mind-twister but oh my god, it is such an exponen-
tially more fun and fulfilling way to go through life!”
—Michelle Lewis
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This edition first published in 2020 by Weiser Books, an imprint of
Red Wheel/Weiser, llc
With offices at:
65 Parker Street, Suite 7
Newburyport, MA 01950
www.redwheelweiser.com
Copyright © 2020 by Carolyn Elliott
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted
in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying,
recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in
writing from Red Wheel/Weiser, llc. Reviewers may quote brief passages.
ISBN: 978-1-57863-647-1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data available upon request.
Cover photograph by Rolfo / Moment / Getty Images
Interior illustrations by Eroshka / Shutterstock
Typeset in Aller Light
Printed in Canada
MAR
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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Dedications
To all the participants of my online courses INFLUENCE, FORCE OF
NATURE, MONEY, LOVE, and THRILL—thank you for your depths
of honesty and commitment to this wild work; it’s a beacon and
a joy to me.
To my coven-mates Crystal Woodling, Annie Derek, Angela Morelli,
Carolyn Burns, Alyssa Schlumpf, thank you for all the encourage-
ment, wisdom, strong medicine, and big belly laughs.
To my husband, David Lee Elliott (aka Taia Kepher), thank you for
driving me crazy in all the best, freakiest, and most magical ways.
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