Etext of The Light Princes by George MacDonald

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Title: The Light Princess

Author: George MacDonald

Posting Date: July 26, 2008 [EBook #697]
Release Date: October, 1996

Language: English

Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1

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THE LIGHT PRINCESS

by

GEORGE MACDONALD

Contents

1. What! No Children?
2. Won't I, Just?
3. She Can't Be Ours.
4. Where Is She?
5. What Is to Be Done?
6. She Laughs Too Much.
7. Try Metaphysics.
8. Try a Drop of Water.
9. Put Me in Again.
10. Look at the Moon.
11. Hiss!
12. Where Is the Prince?
13. Here I Am.
14. This Is Very Kind of You.
15. Look at the Rain!

1. What! No Children?

Once upon a time, so long ago that I have quite forgotten the date, there lived a king and queen who had no children.

And the king said to himself, "All the queens of my acquaintance have children, some three, some seven, and some as
many as twelve; and my queen has not one. I feel ill-used." So he made up his mind to be cross with his wife about it.
But she bore it all like a good patient queen as she was. Then the king grew very cross indeed. But the queen pretended
to take it all as a joke, and a very good one too.

"Why don't you have any daughters, at least?" said he. "I don't say sons; that might be too much to expect."

"I am sure, dear king, I am very sorry," said the queen.

"So you ought to be," retorted the king; "you are not going to make a virtue of that, surely."

But he was not an ill-tempered king, and in any matter of less moment would have let the queen have her own way with
all his heart. This, however, was an affair of state.

The queen smiled.

"You must have patience with a lady, you know, dear king," said she.

She was, indeed, a very nice queen, and heartily sorry that she could not oblige the king immediately.

2. Won't I, Just?

The king tried to have patience, but he succeeded very badly. It was more than he deserved, therefore, when, at last,
the queen gave him a daughter—as lovely a little princess as ever cried.

The day drew near when the infant must be christened. The king wrote all the invitations with his own hand. Of course
somebody was forgotten. Now it does not generally matter if somebody is forgotten, only you must mind who.
Unfortunately, the king forgot without intending to forget; and so the chance fell upon the Princess Makemnoit, which
was awkward. For the princess was the king's own sister; and he ought not to have forgotten her. But she had made
herself so disagreeable to the old king, their father, that he had forgotten her in making his will; and so it was no wonder
that her brother forgot her in writing his invitations. But poor relations don't do anything to keep you in mind of them.
Why don't they? The king could not see into the garret she lived in, could he?

She was a sour, spiteful creature. The wrinkles of contempt crossed the wrinkles of peevishness, and made her face as
full of wrinkles as a pat of butter. If ever a king could be justified in forgetting anybody, this king was justified in
forgetting his sister, even at a christening. She looked very odd, too. Her forehead was as large as all the rest of her
face, and projected over it like a precipice. When she was angry, her little eyes flashed blue. When she hated anybody,
they shone yellow and green. What they looked like when she loved anybody, I do not know; for I never heard of her
loving anybody but herself, and I do not think she could have managed that if she had not somehow got used to herself.
But what made it highly imprudent in the king to forget her was that she was awfully clever. In fact, she was a witch; and
when she bewitched anybody, he very soon had enough of it; for she beat all the wicked fairies in wickedness, and all
the clever ones in cleverness. She despised all the modes we read of in history, in which offended fairies and witches
have taken their revenges; and therefore, after waiting and waiting in vain for an invitation, she made up her mind at last
to go without one, and make the whole family miserable, like a princess as she was.

So she put on her best gown, went to the palace, was kindly received by the happy monarch, who forgot that he had
forgotten her, and took her place in the procession to the royal chapel. When they were all gathered about the font, she
contrived to get next to it, and throw something into the water; after which she maintained a very respectful demeanour
till the water was applied to the child's face. But at that moment she turned round in her place three times, and muttered
the following words, loud enough for those beside her to hear:—

"Light of spirit, by my charms,
Light of body, every part,
Never weary human arms—
Only crush thy parents' heart!"

They all thought she had lost her wits, and was repeating some foolish nursery rhyme; but a shudder went through the
whole of them notwithstanding. The baby, on the contrary, began to laugh and crow; while the nurse gave a start and a
smothered cry, for she thought she was struck with paralysis: she could not feel the baby in her arms. But she clasped it
tight and said nothing. The mischief was done.

3. She Can't Be Ours.

Her atrocious aunt had deprived the child of all her gravity. If you ask me how this was effected, I answer, "In the
easiest way in the world. She had only to destroy gravitation." For the princess was a philosopher, and knew all the ins
and outs of the laws of gravitation as well as the ins and outs of her boot-lace. And being a witch as well, she could
abrogate those laws in a moment; or at least so clog their wheels and rust their bearings, that they would not work at all.
But we have more to do with what followed than with how it was done.

The first awkwardness that resulted from this unhappy privation was, that the moment the nurse began to float the baby
up and down, she flew from her arms towards the ceiling. Happily, the resistance of the air brought her ascending
career to a close within a foot of it. There she remained, horizontal as when she left her nurse's arms, kicking and
laughing amazingly. The nurse in terror flew to the bell, and begged the footman, who answered it, to bring up the
house-steps directly. Trembling in every limb, she climbed upon the steps, and had to stand upon the very top, and
reach up, before she could catch the floating tail of the baby's long clothes.

When the strange fact came to be known, there was a terrible commotion in the palace. The occasion of its discovery
by the king was naturally a repetition of the nurse's experience. Astonished that he felt no weight when the child was laid
in his arms, he began to wave her up and not down, for she slowly ascended to the ceiling as before, and there
remained floating in perfect comfort and satisfaction, as was testified by her peals of tiny laughter. The king stood staring
up in speechless amazement, and trembled so that his beard shook like grass in the wind. At last, turning to the queen,
who was just as horror-struck as himself, he said, gasping, staring, and stammering,—

"She can't be ours, queen!"

Now the queen was much cleverer than the king, and had begun already to suspect that "this effect defective came by
cause."

"I am sure she is ours," answered she. "But we ought to have taken better care of her at the christening. People who
were never invited ought not to have been present."

"Oh, ho!" said the king, tapping his forehead with his forefinger, "I have it all. I've found her out. Don't you see it,
queen? Princess Makemnoit has bewitched her." "That's just what I say," answered the queen.

"I beg your pardon, my love; I did not hear you.—John! bring the steps I get on my throne with."

For he was a little king with a great throne, like many other kings.

The throne-steps were brought, and set upon the dining-table, and John got upon the top of them. But he could not
reach the little princess, who lay like a baby-laughter-cloud in the air, exploding continuously. "Take the tongs, John,"
said his Majesty; and getting up on the table, he handed them to him.

John could reach the baby now, and the little princess was handed down by the tongs.

4. Where Is She?

One fine summer day, a month after these her first adventures, during which time she had been very carefully watched,
the princess was lying on the bed in the queen's own chamber, fast asleep. One of the windows was open, for it was
noon, and the day was so sultry that the little girl was wrapped in nothing less ethereal than slumber itself. The queen
came into the room, and not observing that the baby was on the bed, opened another window. A frolicsome fairy wind,
which had been watching for a chance of mischief, rushed in at the one window, and taking its way over the bed where
the child was lying, caught her up, and rolling and floating her along like a piece of flue, or a dandelion seed, carried her
with it through the opposite window, and away. The queen went down-stairs, quite ignorant of the loss she had herself
occasioned.

When the nurse returned, she supposed that her Majesty had carried her off, and, dreading a scolding, delayed making
inquiry about her. But hearing nothing, she grew uneasy, and went at length to the queen's boudoir, where she found her
Majesty.

"Please, your Majesty, shall I take the baby?" said she.

"Where is she?" asked the queen.

"Please forgive me. I know it was wrong."

"What do you mean?" said the queen, looking grave.

"Oh! don't frighten me, your Majesty!" exclaimed the nurse, clasping her hands.

The queen saw that something was amiss, and fell down in a faint. The nurse rushed about the palace, screaming, "My
baby! my baby!"

Every one ran to the queen's room. But the queen could give no orders. They soon found out, however, that the
princess was missing, and in a moment the palace was like a beehive in a garden; and in one minute more the queen was
brought to herself by a great shout and a clapping of hands. They had found the princess fast asleep under a rose-bush,
to which the elvish little wind-puff had carried her, finishing its mischief by shaking a shower of red rose-leaves all over
the little white sleeper. Startled by the noise the servants made, she woke, and, furious with glee, scattered the rose-
leaves in all directions, like a shower of spray in the sunset.

She was watched more carefully after this, no doubt; yet it would be endless to relate all the odd incidents resulting from
this peculiarity of the young princess. But there never was a baby in a house, not to say a palace, that kept the
household in such constant good humour, at least below-stairs. If it was not easy for her nurses to hold her, at least she
made neither their arms nor their hearts ache. And she was so nice to play at ball with! There was positively no danger
of letting her fall. They might throw her down, or knock her down, or push her down, but couldn't let her down. It is
true, they might let her fly into the fire or the coal-hole, or through the window; but none of these accidents had
happened as yet. If you heard peals of laughter resounding from some unknown region, you might be sure enough of the
cause. Going down into the kitchen, or the room, you would find Jane and Thomas, and Robert and Susan, all and sum,
playing at ball with the little princess. She was the ball herself, and did not enjoy it the less for that. Away she went,
flying from one to another, screeching with laughter. And the servants loved the ball itself better even than the game. But
they had to take some care how they threw her, for if she received an upward direction, she would never come down
again without being fetched.

5. What Is to Be Done?

But above-stairs it was different. One day, for instance, after breakfast, the king went into his counting-house, and
counted out his money. The operation gave him no pleasure.

"To think," said he to himself, "that every one of these gold sovereigns weighs a quarter of an ounce, and my real, live,
flesh-and-blood princess weighs nothing at all!"

And he hated his gold sovereigns, as they lay with a broad smile of self-satisfaction all over their yellow faces.

The queen was in the parlour, eating bread and honey. But at the second mouthful she burst out crying, and could not
swallow it.

The king heard her sobbing. Glad of anybody, but especially of his queen, to quarrel with, he clashed his gold
sovereigns into his money-box, clapped his crown on his head, and rushed into the parlour.

"What is all this about?" exclaimed he. "What are you crying for, queen?"

"I can't eat it," said the queen, looking ruefully at the honey-pot.

"No wonder!" retorted the king. "You've just eaten your breakfast—two turkey eggs, and three anchovies."

"Oh, that's not it!" sobbed her Majesty. "It's my child, my child!"

"Well, what's the matter with your child? She's neither up the chimney nor down the draw-well. Just hear her laughing."

Yet the king could not help a sigh, which he tried to turn into a cough, saying—

"It is a good thing to be light-hearted, I am sure, whether she be ours or not."

"It is a bad thing to be light-headed," answered the queen, looking with prophetic soul far into the future.

"'Tis a good thing to be light-handed," said the king.

"'Tis a bad thing to be light-fingered," answered the queen.

"'Tis a good thing to be light-footed," said the king.

"'Tis a bad thing—" began the queen; but the king interrupted her.

"In fact," said he, with the tone of one who concludes an argument in which he has had only imaginary opponents, and in
which, therefore, he has come off triumphant—"in fact, it is a good thing altogether to be light-bodied."

"But it is a bad thing altogether to be light-minded," retorted the queen, who was beginning to lose her temper.

This last answer quite discomfited his Majesty, who turned on his heel, and betook himself to his counting-house again.
But he was not half-way towards it, when the voice of his queen overtook him.

"And it's a bad thing to be light-haired," screamed she, determined to have more last words, now that her spirit was
roused.

The queen's hair was black as night; and the king's had been, and his daughter's was, golden as morning. But it was not
this reflection on his hair that arrested him; it was the double use of the word light. For the king hated all witticisms, and
punning especially. And besides, he could not tell whether the queen meant light-haired or light-heired; for why might
she not aspirate her vowels when she was exasperated herself?

He turned upon his other heel, and rejoined her. She looked angry still, because she knew that she was guilty, or, what
was much the same, knew that HE thought so.

"My dear queen," said he, "duplicity of any sort is exceedingly objectionable between married people of any rank, not
to say kings and queens; and the most objectionable form duplicity can assume is that of punning."

"There!" said the queen, "I never made a jest, but I broke it in the making. I am the most unfortunate woman in the
world!"

She looked so rueful, that the king took her in his arms; and they sat down to consult.

"Can you bear this?" said the king.

"No, I can't," said the queen.

"Well, what's to be done?" said the king.

"I'm sure I don't know," said the queen. "But might you not try an apology?"

"To my old sister, I suppose you mean?" said the king.

"Yes," said the queen.

"Well, I don't mind," said the king.

So he went the next morning to the house of the princess, and, making a very humble apology, begged her to undo the
spell. But the princess declared, with a grave face, that she knew nothing at all about it. Her eyes, however, shone pink,
which was a sign that she was happy. She advised the king and queen to have patience, and to mend their ways. The
king returned disconsolate. The queen tried to comfort him.

"We will wait till she is older. She may then be able to suggest something herself. She will know at least how she feels,
and explain things to us."

"But what if she should marry?" exclaimed the king, in sudden consternation at the idea.

"Well, what of that?" rejoined the queen. "Just think! If she were to have children! In the course of a hundred years the
air might be as full of floating children as of gossamers in autumn."

"That is no business of ours," replied the queen. "Besides, by that time they will have learned to take care of
themselves."

A sigh was the king's only answer.

He would have consulted the court physicians; but he was afraid they would try experiments upon her.

6. She Laughs Too Much.

Meantime, notwithstanding awkward occurrences, and griefs that she brought upon her parents, the little princess
laughed and grew—not fat, but plump and tall. She reached the age of seventeen, without having fallen into any worse
scrape than a chimney; by rescuing her from which, a little bird-nesting urchin got fame and a black face. Nor,
thoughtless as she was, had she committed anything worse than laughter at everybody and everything that came in her
way. When she was told, for the sake of experiment, that General Clanrunfort was cut to pieces with all his troops, she
laughed; when she heard that the enemy was on his way to besiege her papa's capital, she laughed hugely; but when she
was told that the city would certainly be abandoned to the mercy of the enemy's soldiery—why, then she laughed
immoderately. She never could be brought to see the serious side of anything. When her mother cried, she said,—

"What queer faces mamma makes! And she squeezes water out of her cheeks? Funny mamma!"

And when her papa stormed at her, she laughed, and danced round and round him, clapping her hands, and crying—

"Do it again, papa. Do it again! It's SUCH fun! Dear, funny papa!"

And if he tried to catch her, she glided from him in an instant, not in the least afraid of him, but thinking it part of the
game not to be caught. With one push of her foot, she would be floating in the air above his head; or she would go
dancing backwards and forwards and sideways, like a great butterfly. It happened several times, when her father and
mother were holding a consultation about her in private, that they were interrupted by vainly repressed outbursts of
laughter over their heads; and looking up with indignation, saw her floating at full length in the air above them, whence
she regarded them with the most comical appreciation of the position.

One day an awkward accident happened. The princess had come out upon the lawn with one of her attendants, who
held her by the hand. Spying her father at the other side of the lawn, she snatched her hand from the maid's, and sped
across to him. Now when she wanted to run alone, her custom was to catch up a stone in each hand, so that she might
come down again after a bound. Whatever she wore as part of her attire had no effect in this way: even gold, when it
thus became as it were a part of herself, lost all its weight for the time. But whatever she only held in her hands retained
its downward tendency. On this occasion she could see nothing to catch up but a huge toad, that was walking across
the lawn as if he had a hundred years to do it in. Not knowing what disgust meant, for this was one of her peculiarities,
she snatched up the toad and bounded away. She had almost reached her father, and he was holding out his arms to
receive her, and take from her lips the kiss which hovered on them like a butterfly on a rosebud, when a puff of wind
blew her aside into the arms of a young page, who had just been receiving a message from his Majesty. Now it was no
great peculiarity in the princess that, once she was set agoing, it always cost her time and trouble to check herself. On
this occasion there was no time. She must kiss-and she kissed the page. She did not mind it much; for she had no
shyness in her composition; and she knew, besides, that she could not help it. So she only laughed, like a musical box.
The poor page fared the worst. For the princess, trying to correct the unfortunate tendency of the kiss, put out her
hands to keep her off the page; so that, along with the kiss, he received, on the other cheek, a slap with the huge black
toad, which she poked right into his eye. He tried to laugh, too, but the attempt resulted in such an odd contortion of
countenance, as showed that there was no danger of his pluming himself on the kiss. As for the king, his dignity was
greatly hurt, and he did not speak to the page for a whole month.

I may here remark that it was very amusing to see her run, if her mode of progression could properly be called running.
For first she would make a bound; then, having alighted, she would run a few steps, and make another bound.
Sometimes she would fancy she had reached the ground before she actually had, and her feet would go backwards and
forwards, running upon nothing at all, like those of a chicken on its back. Then she would laugh like the very spirit of
fun; only in her laugh there was something missing. What it was, I find myself unable to describe. I think it was a certain
tone, depending upon the possibility of sorrow—MORBIDEZZA, perhaps. She never smiled.

7. Try Metaphysics.

After a long avoidance of the painful subject, the king and queen resolved to hold a council of three upon it; and so they
sent for the princess. In she came, sliding and flitting and gliding from one piece of furniture to another, and put herself at
last in an armchair, in a sitting posture. Whether she could be said to sit, seeing she received no support from the seat of
the chair, I do not pretend to determine.

"My dear child," said the king, "you must be aware by this time that you are not exactly like other people."

"Oh, you dear funny papa! I have got a nose, and two eyes, and all the rest. So have you. So has mamma."

"Now be serious, my dear, for once," said the queen.

"No, thank you, mamma; I had rather not."

"Would you not like to be able to walk like other people?" said the king.

"No indeed, I should think not. You only crawl. You are such slow coaches!"

"How do you feel, my child?" he resumed, after a pause of discomfiture.

"Quite well, thank you."

"I mean, what do you feel like?"

"Like nothing at all, that I know of."

"You must feel like something."

"I feel like a princess with such a funny papa, and such a dear pet of a queen-mamma!"

"Now really!" began the queen; but the princess interrupted her.

"Oh Yes," she added, "I remember. I have a curious feeling sometimes, as if I were the only person that had any sense
in the whole world."

She had been trying to behave herself with dignity; but now she burst into a violent fit of laughter, threw herself
backwards over the chair, and went rolling about the floor in an ecstasy of enjoyment. The king picked her up easier
than one does a down quilt, and replaced her in her former relation to the chair. The exact preposition expressing this
relation I do not happen to know.

"Is there nothing you wish for?" resumed the king, who had learned by this time that it was useless to be angry with her.

"Oh, you dear papa!—yes," answered she.

"What is it, my darling?"

"I have been longing for it—oh, such a time!—ever since last night." "Tell me what it is."

"Will you promise to let me have it?"

The king was on the point of saying Yes, but the wiser queen checked him with a single motion of her head. "Tell me
what it is first," said he.

"No no. Promise first."

"I dare not. What is it?"

"Mind, I hold you to your promise.—It is—to be tied to the end of a string—a very long string indeed, and be flown
like a kite. Oh, such fun! I would rain rose-water, and hail sugar-plums, and snow whipped-cream, and—and—and—"

A fit of laughing checked her; and she would have been off again over the floor, had not the king started up and caught
her just in time. Seeing nothing but talk could be got out of her, he rang the bell, and sent her away with two of her
ladies-in-waiting.

"Now, queen," he said, turning to her Majesty, "what IS to be done?"

"There is but one thing left," answered she. "Let us consult the college of Metaphysicians."

"Bravo!" cried the king; "we will."

Now at the head of this college were two very wise Chinese philosophers-by name Hum-Drum, and Kopy-Keck. For
them the king sent; and straightway they came. In a long speech he communicated to them what they knew very well
already—as who did not?—namely, the peculiar condition of his daughter in relation to the globe on which she dwelt;
and requested them to consult together as to what might be the cause and probable cure of her INFIRMITY. The king
laid stress upon the word, but failed to discover his own pun. The queen laughed; but Hum-Drum and Kopy-Keck
heard with humility and retired in silence.

The consultation consisted chiefly in propounding and supporting, for the thousandth time, each his favourite theories.
For the condition of the princess afforded delightful scope for the discussion of every question arising from the division
of thought-in fact, of all the Metaphysics of the Chinese Empire. But it is only justice to say that they did not altogether
neglect the discussion of the practical question, what was to be done.

Hum-Drum was a Materialist, and Kopy-Keck was a Spiritualist. The former was slow and sententious; the latter was
quick and flighty: the latter had generally the first word; the former the last.

"I reassert my former assertion," began Kopy-Keck, with a plunge. "There is not a fault in the princess, body or soul;
only they are wrong put together. Listen to me now, Hum-Drum, and I will tell you in brief what I think. Don't speak.
Don't answer me. I won't hear you till I have done.— At that decisive moment, when souls seek their appointed
habitations, two eager souls met, struck, rebounded, lost their way, and arrived each at the wrong place. The soul of the
princess was one of those, and she went far astray. She does not belong by rights to this world at all, but to some other
planet, probably Mercury. Her proclivity to her true sphere destroys all the natural influence which this orb would
otherwise possess over her corporeal frame. She cares for nothing here. There is no relation between her and this
world.

"She must therefore be taught, by the sternest compulsion, to take an interest in the earth as the earth. She must study
every department of its history—its animal history; its vegetable history; its mineral history; its social history; its moral
history; its political history, its scientific history; its literary history; its musical history; its artistical history; above all, its
metaphysical history. She must begin with the Chinese dynasty and end with Japan. But first of all she must study
geology, and especially the history of the extinct races of animals-their natures, their habits, their loves, their hates, their
revenges. She must—"

"Hold, h-o-o-old!" roared Hum-Drum. "It is certainly my turn now. My rooted and insubvertible conviction is, that the
causes of the anomalies evident in the princess's condition are strictly and solely physical. But that is only tantamount to
acknowledging that they exist. Hear my opinion.— From some cause or other, of no importance to our inquiry, the
motion of her heart has been reversed. That remarkable combination of the suction and the force-pump works the
wrong way-I mean in the case of the unfortunate princess: it draws in where it should force out, and forces out where it
should draw in. The offices of the auricles and the ventricles are subverted. The blood is sent forth by the veins, and
returns by the arteries. Consequently it is running the wrong way through all her corporeal organism—lungs and all. Is it
then at all mysterious, seeing that such is the case, that on the other particular of gravitation as well, she should differ
from normal humanity? My proposal for the cure is this:—

"Phlebotomize until she is reduced to the last point of safety. Let it be effected, if necessary, in a warm bath. When she
is reduced to a state of perfect asphyxy, apply a ligature to the left ankle, drawing it as tight as the bone will bear.
Apply, at the same moment, another of equal tension around the right wrist. By means of plates constructed for the
purpose, place the other foot and hand under the receivers of two air-pumps. Exhaust the receivers. Exhibit a pint of
French brandy, and await the result."

"Which would presently arrive in the form of grim Death," said Kopy-Keck.

"If it should, she would yet die in doing our duty," retorted Hum-Drum.

But their Majesties had too much tenderness for their volatile offspring to subject her to either of the schemes of the
equally unscrupulous philosophers. Indeed, the most complete knowledge of the laws of nature would have been
unserviceable in her case; for it was impossible to classify her. She was a fifth imponderable body, sharing all the other
properties of the ponderable.

8. Try a Drop of Water.

Perhaps the best thing for the princess would have been to fall in love. But how a princess who had no gravity could fall
into anything is a difficulty—perhaps THE difficulty.

As for her own feelings on the subject, she did not even know that there was such a beehive of honey and stings to be
fallen into. But now I come to mention another curious fact about her.

The palace was built on the shores of the loveliest lake in the world; and the princess loved this lake more than father or
mother. The root of this preference no doubt, although the princess did not recognise it as such, was, that the moment
she got into it, she recovered the natural right of which she had been so wickedly deprived—namely, gravity. Whether
this was owing to the fact that water had been employed as the means of conveying the injury, I do not know. But it is
certain that she could swim and dive like the duck that her old nurse said she was. The manner in which this alleviation
of her misfortune was discovered was as follows.

One summer evening, during the carnival of the country, she had been taken upon the lake by the king and queen, in the
royal barge. They were accompanied by many of the courtiers in a fleet of little boats. In the middle of the lake she
wanted to get into the lord chancellor's barge, for his daughter, who was a great favourite with her, was in it with her
father. Now though the old king rarely condescended to make light of his misfortune, yet, Happening on this occasion to
be in a particularly good humour, as the barges approached each other, he caught up the princess to throw her into the
chancellor's barge. He lost his balance, however, and, dropping into the bottom of the barge, lost his hold of his
daughter; not, however, before imparting to her the downward tendency of his own person, though in a somewhat
different direction; for, as the king fell into the boat, she fell into the water. With a burst of delighted laughter she
disappeared in the lake. A cry of horror ascended from the boats. They had never seen the princess go down before.
Half the men were under water in a moment; but they had all, one after another, come up to the surface again for
breath, when—tinkle, tinkle, babble, and gush! came the princess's laugh over the water from far away. There she was,
swimming like a swan. Nor would she come out for king or queen, chancellor or daughter. She was perfectly obstinate.

But at the same time she seemed more sedate than usual. Perhaps that was because a great pleasure spoils laughing. At
all events, after this, the passion of her life was to get into the water, and she was always the better behaved and the
more beautiful the more she had of it. Summer and winter it was quite the same; only she could not stay so long in the
water when they had to break the ice to let her in. Any day, from morning till evening in summer, she might be descried
—a streak of white in the blue water—lying as still as the shadow of a cloud, or shooting along like a dolphin;
disappearing, and coming up again far off, just where one did not expect her. She would have been in the lake of a
night, too, if she could have had her way; for the balcony of her window overhung a deep pool in it; and through a
shallow reedy passage she could have swum out into the wide wet water, and no one would have been any the wiser.
Indeed, when she happened to wake in the moonlight she could hardly resist the temptation. But there was the sad
difficulty of getting into it. She had as great a dread of the air as some children have of the water. For the slightest gust
of wind would blow her away; and a gust might arise in the stillest moment. And if she gave herself a push towards the
water and just failed of reaching it, her situation would be dreadfully awkward, irrespective of the wind; for at best there
she would have to remain, suspended in her nightgown, till she was seen and angled for by someone from the window.

"Oh! if I had my gravity," thought she, contemplating the water, "I would flash off this balcony like a long white sea-bird,
headlong into the darling wetness. Heigh-ho!"

This was the only consideration that made her wish to be like other people.

Another reason for her being fond of the water was that in it alone she enjoyed any freedom. For she could not walk
out without a cortege, consisting in part of a troop of light horse, for fear of the liberties which the wind might take with
her. And the king grew more apprehensive with increasing years, till at last he would not allow her to walk abroad at all
without some twenty silken cords fastened to as many parts of her dress, and held by twenty noblemen. Of course
horseback was out of the question. But she bade good-by to all this ceremony when she got into the water.

And so remarkable were its effects upon her, especially in restoring her for the time to the ordinary human gravity, that
Hum-Drum and Kopy-Keck agreed in recommending the king to bury her alive for three years; in the hope that, as the
water did her so much good, the earth would do her yet more. But the king had some vulgar prejudices against the
experiment, and would not give his consent. Foiled in this, they yet agreed in another recommendation; which, seeing
that one imported his opinions from China and the other from Thibet, was very remarkable indeed. They argued that, if
water of external origin and application could be so efficacious, water from a deeper source might work a perfect cure;
in short, that if the poor afflicted princess could by any means be made to cry, she might recover her lost gravity.

But how was this to be brought about? Therein lay all the difficulty—to meet which the philosophers were not wise
enough. To make the princess cry was as impossible as to make her weigh. They sent for a professional beggar;
commanded him to prepare his most touching oracle of woe; helped him out of the court charade box, to whatever he
wanted for dressing up, and promised great rewards in the event of his success. But it was all in vain. She listened to the
mendicant artist's story, and gazed at his marvellous make up, till she could contain herself no longer, and went into the
most undignified contortions for relief, shrieking, positively screeching with laughter.

When she had a little recovered herself, she ordered her attendants to drive him away, and not give him a single copper;
whereupon his look of mortified discomfiture wrought her punishment and his revenge, for it sent her into violent
hysterics, from which she was with difficulty recovered.

But so anxious was the king that the suggestion should have a fair trial, that he put himself in a rage one day, and,
rushing up to her room, gave her an awful whipping. Yet not a tear would flow. She looked grave, and her laughing
sounded uncommonly like screaming—that was all. The good old tyrant, though he put on his best gold spectacles to
look, could not discover the smallest cloud in the serene blue of her eyes.

9. Put Me in Again.

It must have been about this time that the son of a king, who lived a thousand miles from Lagobel set out to look for the
daughter of a queen. He travelled far and wide, but as sure as he found a princess, he found some fault in her. Of
course he could not marry a mere woman, however beautiful; and there was no princess to be found worthy of him.
Whether the prince was so near perfection that he had a right to demand perfection itself, I cannot pretend to say. All I
know is, that he was a fine, handsome, brave, generous, well-bred, and well-behaved youth, as all princes are.

In his wanderings he had come across some reports about our princess; but as everybody said she was bewitched, he
never dreamed that she could bewitch him. For what indeed could a prince do with a princess that had lost her gravity?
Who could tell what she might not lose next? She might lose her visibility, or her tangibility; or, in short, the power of
making impressions upon the radical sensorium; so that he should never be able to tell whether she was dead or alive.
Of course he made no further inquiries about her. One day he lost sight of his retinue in a great forest. These forests are
very useful in delivering princes from their courtiers, like a sieve that keeps back the bran. Then the princes get away to
follow their fortunes. In this way they have the advantage of the princesses, who are forced to marry before they have
had a bit of fun. I wish our princesses got lost in a forest sometimes.

One lovely evening, after wandering about for many days, he found that he was approaching the outskirts of this forest;
for the trees had got so thin that he could see the sunset through them; and he soon came upon a kind of heath. Next he
came upon signs of human neighbourhood; but by this time it was getting late, and there was nobody in the fields to
direct him.

After travelling for another hour, his horse, quite worn out with long labour and lack of food, fell, and was unable to rise
again. So he continued his journey on foot. At length he entered another wood—not a wild forest, but a civilized wood,
through which a footpath led him to the side of a lake. Along this path the prince pursued his way through the gathering
darkness. Suddenly he paused, and listened. Strange sounds came across the water. It was, in fact, the princess
laughing. Now there was something odd in her laugh, as I have already hinted; for the hatching of a real hearty laugh
requires the incubation of gravity; and perhaps this was how the prince mistook the laughter for screaming. Looking
over the lake, he saw something white in the water; and, in an instant, he had torn off his tunic, kicked off his sandals,
and plunged in. He soon reached the white object, and found that it was a woman. There was not light enough to show
that she was a princess, but quite enough to show that she was a lady, for it does not want much light to see that.

Now I cannot tell how it came about,—whether she pretended to be drowning, or whether he frightened her, or caught
her so as to embarrass her,—but certainly he brought her to shore in a fashion ignominious to a swimmer, and more
nearly drowned than she had ever expected to be; for the water had got into her throat as often as she had tried to
speak.

At the place to which he bore her, the bank was only a foot or two above the water; so he gave her a strong lift out of
the water, to lay her on the bank. But, her gravitation ceasing the moment she left the water, away she went up into the
air, scolding and screaming.

"You naughty, naughty, NAUGHTY, NAUGHTY man!" she cried.

No one had ever succeeded in putting her into a passion before.—When the prince saw her ascend, he thought he must
have been bewitched, and have mistaken a great swan for a lady. But the princess caught hold of the topmost cone
upon a lofty fir. This came off; but she caught at another; and, in fact, stopped herself by gathering cones, dropping
them as the stalks gave way. The prince, meantime, stood in the water, staring, and forgetting to get out. But the
princess disappearing, he scrambled on shore, and went in the direction of the tree. There he found her climbing down
one of the branches towards the stem. But in the darkness of the wood, the prince continued in some bewilderment as
to what the phenomenon could be; until, reaching the ground, and seeing him standing there, she caught hold of him, and
said,—

"I'll tell papa."

"Oh no, you won't!" returned the prince.

"Yes, I will," she persisted. "What business had you to pull me down out of the water, and throw me to the bottom of
the air? I never did you any harm."

"Pardon me. I did not mean to hurt you."

"I don't believe you have any brains; and that is a worse loss than your wretched gravity. I pity you."

The prince now saw that he had come upon the bewitched princess, and had already offended her. But before he could
think what to say next, she burst out angrily, giving a stamp with her foot that would have sent her aloft again but for the
hold she had of his arm,—

"Put me up directly."

"Put you up where, you beauty?" asked the prince.

He had fallen in love with her almost, already; for her anger made her more charming than any one else had ever beheld
her; and, as far as he could see, which certainly was not far, she had not a single fault about her, except, of course, that
she had not any gravity. No prince, however, would judge of a princess by weight. The loveliness of her foot he would
hardly estimate by the depth of the impression it could make in mud.

"Put you up where, you beauty?" asked the prince.

"In the water, you stupid!" answered the princess.

"Come, then," said the prince.

The condition of her dress, increasing her usual difficulty in walking, compelled her to cling to him; and he could hardly
persuade himself that he was not in a delightful dream, notwithstanding the torrent of musical abuse with which she
overwhelmed him. The prince being therefore in no hurry, they came upon the lake at quite another part, where the
bank was twenty-five feet high at least; and when they had reached the edge, he turned towards the princess, and said,
—

"How am I to put you in?" "That is your business," she answered, quite snappishly. "You took me out—put me in
again."

"Very well," said the prince; and, catching her up in his arms, he sprang with her from the rock. The princess had just
time to give one delighted shriek of laughter before the water closed over them. When they came to the surface, she
found that, for a moment or two, she could not even laugh, for she had gone down with such a rush, that it was with
difficulty she recovered her breath. The instant they reached the surface—

"How do you like falling in?" said the prince.

After some effort the princess panted out,—

"Is that what you call FALLING IN?"

"Yes," answered the prince, "I should think it a very tolerable specimen."

"It seemed to me like going up," rejoined she.

"My feeling was certainly one of elevation too," the prince conceded.

The princess did not appear to understand him, for she retorted his question:—

"How do YOU like falling in?" said the princess.

"Beyond everything," answered he; "for I have fallen in with the only perfect creature I ever saw."

"No more of that: I am tired of it," said the princess.

Perhaps she shared her father's aversion to punning.

"Don't you like falling in then?" said the prince.

"It is the most delightful fun I ever had in my life," answered she. "I never fell before. I wish I could learn. To think I am
the only person in my father's kingdom that can't fall!"

Here the poor princess looked almost sad.

"I shall be most happy to fall in with you any time you like," said the prince, devotedly.

"Thank you. I don't know. Perhaps it would not be proper. But I don't care. At all events, as we have fallen in, let us
have a swim together."

"With all my heart," responded the prince.

And away they went, swimming, and diving, and floating, until at last they heard cries along the shore, and saw lights
glancing in all directions. It was now quite late, and there was no moon.

"I must go home," said the princess. "I am very sorry, for this is delightful."

"So am I," returned the prince. "But I am glad I haven't a home to go to—at least, I don't exactly know where it is."

"I wish I hadn't one either," rejoined the princess; "it is so stupid! I have a great mind," she continued, "to play them all a
trick. Why couldn't they leave me alone? They won't trust me in the lake for a single night!—You see where that green

light is burning? That is the window of my room. Now if you would just swim there with me very quietly, and when we
are all but under the balcony, give me such a push—up you call it-as you did a little while ago, I should be able to catch
hold of the balcony, and get in at the window; and then they may look for me till to-morrow morning!"

"With more obedience than pleasure," said the prince, gallantly; and away they swam, very gently.

"Will you be in the lake to-morrow night?" the prince ventured to ask.

"To be sure I will. I don't think so. Perhaps," was the princess's somewhat strange answer.

But the prince was intelligent enough not to press her further; and merely whispered, as he gave her the parting lift,
"Don't tell."

The only answer the princess returned was a roguish look. She was already a yard above his head. The look seemed to
say, "Never fear. It is too good fun to spoil that way."

So perfectly like other people had she been in the water, that even yet the prince could scarcely believe his eyes when
he saw her ascend slowly, grasp the balcony, and disappear through the window. He turned, almost expecting to see
her still by his side. But he was alone in the water. So he swam away quietly, and watched the lights roving about the
shore for hours after the princess was safe in her chamber. As soon as they disappeared, he landed in search of his
tunic and sword, and, after some trouble, found them again. Then he made the best of his way round the lake to the
other side. There the wood was wilder, and the shore steeper-rising more immediately towards the mountains which
surrounded the lake on all sides, and kept sending it messages of silvery streams from morning to night, and all night
long. He soon found a spot whence he could see the green light in the princess's room, and where, even in the broad
daylight, he would be in no danger of being discovered from the opposite shore. It was a sort of cave in the rock,
where he provided himself a bed of withered leaves, and lay down too tired for hunger to keep him awake. All night
long he dreamed that he was swimming with the princess.

10. Look at the Moon.

Early the next morning the prince set out to look for something to eat, which he soon found at a forester's hut, where for
many following days he was supplied with all that a brave prince could consider necessary. And having plenty to keep
him alive for the present, he would not think of wants not yet in existence. Whenever Care intruded, this prince always
bowed him out in the most princely manner. When he returned from his breakfast to his watch-cave, he saw the
princess already floating about in the lake, attended by the king and queen whom he knew by their crowns—and a
great company in lovely little boats, with canopies of all the colours of the rainbow, and flags and streamers of a great
many more. It was a very bright day, and soon the prince, burned up with the heat, began to long for the cold water and
the cool princess. But he had to endure till twilight; for the boats had provisions on board, and it was not till the sun
went down that the gay party began to vanish. Boat after boat drew away to the shore, following that of the king and
queen, till only one, apparently the princess's own boat, remained. But she did not want to go home even yet, and the
prince thought he saw her order the boat to the shore without her. At all events, it rowed away; and now, of all the
radiant company, only one white speck remained. Then the prince began to sing. And this is what he sung:—

"Lady fair,
Swan-white,
Lift thine eyes,
Banish night
By the might
Of thine eyes.

Snowy arms,
Oars of snow,
Oar her hither,
Plashing low.
Soft and slow,
Oar her hither.

Stream behind her
O'er the lake,
Radiant whiteness!
In her wake
Following, following for her sake.
Radiant whiteness!

Cling about her,
Waters blue;
Part not from her,
But renew
Cold and true
Kisses round her.

Lap me round,
Waters sad,
That have left her.
Make me glad,
For ye had
Kissed her ere ye left her."

Before he had finished his song, the princess was just under the place where he sat, and looking up to find him. Her ears
had led her truly.

"Would you like a fall, princess?" said the prince, looking down.

"Ah! there you are! Yes, if you please, prince," said the princess, looking up.

"How do you know I am a prince, princess?" said the prince.

"Because you are a very nice young man, prince," said the princess.

"Come up then, princess."

"Fetch me, prince."

The prince took off his scarf, then his sword-belt, then his tunic, and tied them all together, and let them down. But the
line was far too short. He unwound his turban, and added it to the rest, when it was all but long enough; and his purse
completed it. The princess just managed to lay hold of the knot of money, and was beside him in a moment. This rock
was much higher than the other, and the splash and the dive were tremen...