Table Of Content

E I G H T L E S S O N S – F O R A – HAPPIER MARRIAGE William Glasser, M.D., and Carleen Glasser, M.A. To our married children Alice and Jesse Martin and Pamela Jana and Michael Terry and Barbara G. May you each live a long and happy life together! g — CO NTENT S — Preface vii Foreword ix Introduction 1 LESSON ONE External Control Can Kill a Marriage 11 LESSON TWO We Choose All Our Behavior 23 LESSON THREE Never Use the Seven Deadly Habits 33 LESSON FOUR Get Acquainted with Each Other’s Quality World 43 LESSON FIVE Understand Total Behavior 55 – iii – Contents LESSON SIX A Little Creativity Can Save Your Marriage 65 LESSON SEVEN At Your Discretion, Share What You Are Doing for Your Marriage with Your Children 75 LESSON EIGHT Try New Ways to Improve Your Sexual Intimacy 95 A Final Word 101 Acknowledgments About the Authors Other Books by William Glasser, M.D., and Carleen Glasser, M.A. Credits Cover Copyright About the Publisher – iv – g — ILLUSTRATIONS — “I think I can do better, should I settle for second best?” ix “How can I keep the house clean without whining and complaining all day?” 6 “Why is it always my fault?” 17 “My husband thrives on putting people down. His favorite saying is, ‘Anybody can do that!’” 29 “I think having a baby is a private affair, but my husband wants to make a big production of it—like he’s Spielberg!” 38 “Do I really need all these pills?” 50 “My wife looks at the world through rose-colored glasses and sugarcoats everything. Am I a stick-in-the-mud?” 60 – v – Illustrations “My husband cares more about the dog than me!” 70 “My husband stares dumbfounded at every pretty girl. Is it O.K. to clobber him?” 91 – vi – g — PREFACE — W illiam and Carleen Glasser have combined their knowledge of functioning marriages and failed marriages, all under the umbrella of William Glasser’s Choice Theory, to present Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage. Eight Lessons begins with the fundamental truth that the only person you can change is yourself. You cannot make your spouse change. The more you try, the more unhappiness you create. Eight Lessons builds on that foundation with the elements of successful marriages, the elements of failed marriages, and the insight to recognize the differences. Correcting an off- course marriage may only require a few adjustments. The secret is recognizing the adjustments that can be made and not attempting to force adjustments that cannot be forced. – vii – Preface This book is clear, direct, and accessible. A great concept does not require a lot of words. I have been a divorce lawyer for thirty years. I have repre- sented many people with great wealth whose marital problems were not financial and for whom no amount of money could fix those problems. In Eight Lessons, I recognize the patterns of marital failure that I have seen over and over. I suspect that many of those failed marriages could have been saved if those couples had read and applied the Eight Lessons long before their marriages had withered. Bruce A. Clemens, Esq. Beverly Hills, California 2007 – viii –