Dynamic Psychotherapy with Adult Survivors: Living Past Neglect

239 Pages·2012·2.48 MB·English

by  Lori Bennett

Dynamic Psychotherapy
with Adult Survivors
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Dynamic Psychotherapy
with Adult Survivors
Living Past Neglect
Lori Bennett, LCSW
JASON ARONSON
Lanham (cid:129) Boulder (cid:129) New York (cid:129) Toronto (cid:129) Plymouth, UK
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Published by Jason Aronson
A wholly owned subsidiary of The Rowman & Littlefield Publishing Group, Inc.
4501 Forbes Boulevard, Suite 200, Lanham, Maryland 20706
www.rowman.com
10 Thornbury Road, Plymouth PL6 7PP, United Kingdom
Copyright © 2012 by Lori Bennett
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any
electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems,
without written permission from the publisher, except by a reviewer who may quote
passages in a review.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Information Available
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Bennett, Lori, 1956–
Dynamic psychotherapy with adult survivors : living past neglect / Lori Bennett.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN 978-0-7657-0892-2 (cloth : alk. paper) — ISBN 978-0-7657-0893-9 (electronic)
1. Adult child abuse victims. 2. Psychotherapy. I. Title.
RC569.5.C55B44 2012
616.85'822390651—dc23
2011051274
™
The paper used in this publication meets the minimum requirements of American
National Standard for Information Sciences—Permanence of Paper for Printed Library
Materials, ANSI/NISO Z39.48-1992.
Printed in the United States of America
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This book is dedicated to Barbara Mantel, LICSW,
who opened the doors to my internal home,
turned on the lights,
and helped me to refurnish.
And to my husband, who taught me the meaning of unconditional love.
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Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Preface xi
Introduction xv
PART I: LISTENING FOR NEGLECT
1 “But Nothing Happened!”: Redefining Childhood Neglect 3
2 Post-Traumatic Stress Revisited 15
3 Magical Thinking: Finding Power in Helplessness 19
4 Weight Matters: Using Food for Comfort 27
5 Gone Too Soon: When Death Leads to Neglect 33
6 At Home with Incest: The Paved Road from Neglect to Abuse 45
7 The Broken Promise of Love: Addicted Parents and Neglect 57
8 Adoption and Neglect 75
PART II: WORKING WITH NEGLECT
9 “It Wasn’t That Bad!”: Working with Defensive Structure 83
10 The Integration of Deprivation: Intrusive Thoughts
and Hypervigilance 95
11 Working with the Introject 105
12 Neglect in the News 125
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viii Contents
13 Grief and Its Relationship to Neglect and Abuse 135
14 Understanding Developmental Theory in Relation to Neglect 143
15 Developing Object Constancy in Adults 149
PART III: OVERCOMING THE NEGLECT SCENARIO
16 Working through Transference in Relationships 155
17 Working through Countertransference Issues 167
18 Correction by Projection 171
19 Therapeutic Tools for Working with Adult Survivors of Neglect 177
20 The Therapeutic Environment 185
21 For Therapists with Neglect Histories 189
Notes 195
Resources 205
Bibliography 207
Index 211
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Acknowledgments
This book is a testament to the healing power of psychotherapy. It is a tes-
tament to the tenacity of the human spirit, and to the incredible ability of
women and men to strive to overcome their histories of neglect.
Living in the past can create our futures. Yet, how do young adults climb
out of their histories of neglect? How do they hope to feel loved if they never
experienced the love they needed in their families of origin? How do they
combat the damage to trust? How do they learn to stop the self-blame over
circumstances, to move past the past, and embrace a new future?
These questions are answered in Dynamic Psychotherapy with Adult Survi-
vors. With the hope that other people will benefit, I have asked former clients
to write about their recovery processes. First, I have asked them to describe
what their lives were like prior to therapy, and the tasks they challenged
themselves to complete in their first years of treatment. I have asked them to
describe living with the aftereffects of neglectful childhoods. Second, I have
asked them to describe their processes of healing and recovery. What worked
for them, and why?
Some clients chose to describe their autobiographies of healing to me in
person, as we evaluated our time together in psychotherapy. I have written
their stories for them, and disguised some of their circumstances, to protect
their privacy. Others chose to write their own stories for this anthology. I am
very grateful for their participation.
This book is dedicated to them—to their wisdom and courage.
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