Duels and Duets: Why Men and Women Talk So Differently

253 Pages·2011·1.3 MB·English

by  John L. Locke

Duels and Duets
Whydo men and womentalk so differently? Andhowdo these differ-
encesinterferewith communication between the sexes? What judg-
mentsdowomenmakeabout men,based solelyon their speaking
voices? Insearchof an answer to these and otherquestions, JohnL.
Locketakesthereaderonafascinatingjourney,fromhumanevolution
through ancient history to thepresent, revealingwhy men speak as
theydowhenattemptingtoimpressorseducewomen,andwhywomen
adopt averydifferent wayoftalking when bonding with each other,
ordiscussingrivals.
When men talk to men, Lockeargues,they frequentlyengage ina
type of “dueling,” locking verbal horns with their rivals inawaythat
enablesthem tocompetefor the things they need,mainly status and
sex.Bycontrast,muchofwomen’stalksoundsmorelikeaverbal“duet,”
aharmoniouswayofachievingtheirgoalsbysharingintimatethoughts
and feelings inprivate. And because a third,“uni-sex”wayof talking
neverevolved, men and womenhavetorelyonthe strategies at their
disposal. As Lockeexplains, theircontrasting stylesalsooffermen
and womenan important benefit: the ability to collaborate with
each other in everydaylife.
John L. Locke is currently Professorof LinguisticsatLehman
College, CityUniversityof NewYork. Hisarticles haveappeared ina
broadrange ofjournals, including the Journalof the RoyalAnthropo-
logical Institute, Evolution andHuman Behavior, Behavioraland Brain
Sciences, and LanguageSciences. Hehaspublished over100 articles,
chapters,andbooks.HisbooksincludeThede-voicingofsociety(1998)
and Eavesdropping:an intimate history (2010).

Duels and Duets
Why Men and Women
Talk So Differently
JOHN L. LOCKE
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Includesbibliographicalreferencesandindex.
ISBN978-0-521-88713-7(Hardback)
1. Oralcommunication–Sexdifferences. 2. Conversationanalysis. I. Title.
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To dispute whether males or females are the higher, is like
disputing the relative superiority of animals and plants.
Each is higher in its own way, and the two are
complementary.
Patrick Geddes and John Arthur Thompson

Contents
Acknowledgments viii
List of illustrations ix
1 Speech, sex, and gender 1
2 Duels 23
3 Bards, heroes, Romeos, and clowns 60
4 Why do men duel? 76
5 Duets 102
6 Complicity 117
7 Why do women duet? 132
8 Collaboration in language and in life 162
Notes to chapters 180
References 196
Index 231
vii
Acknowledgments
I wrote much of this book in the 2009–10 academic year, when
IwasonsabbaticalleavefromtheDepartmentofSpeech-Language-
HearingSciencesatLehmanCollege,CityUniversityofNewYork.
Duringthattime Iwas privilegedto hold a faculty position in the
Department of Anthropology at Yale University. I am indebted to
severalscholarsfordiscussionsofissuesthatItakeuphere,including
Richard Bribiescas and David Watts. On a more personal level,
Imustacknowledgeauniqueprivilege.Iammarriedtomymuse.
Thankyou,Catherine.
John L. Locke
Old Lyme, Connecticut
viii
Illustrations
Figure 2.1 The Female Orators (engraved from a painting by
John Collett, 1768). [51]
Figure 3.1 A“bigman,”orrhetoricthumper,settlinganinter-
clandispute(fromReay1959). [66]
Figure 4.1 Testosteroneoftrialandnon-triallawyers(from
Dabbsetal.1998.Triallawyersandtestosterone:blue-collartalent
inawhite-collarworld.JournalofAppliedSocialPsychology,
28:84–94). [95]
Figure 5.1 Scene from Le Caquet des Femmes (woodcut, c. 1560,
Bibliothe`que Nationale de France, Cabinet des Estampes,
Tf. 2, fol. 49, from Mainardi 2003). [103]
Figure 6.1 Throat singing by Ainu women (from Malm 1963,
p. 242). [120]
ix