Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Achieve

238 Pages·2008·5.39 MB·English

by  Janine Walker Caffrey

0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page i
DRIVE
0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page ii
This page intentionally left blank
0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page iii
DRIVE
9 Ways to Motivate
Your Kids to Achieve
Janine Walker Caffrey, EdD
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page iv
Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their
products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book
and Da Capo Press was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been
printed in initial capital letters.
The names and identifying details of some people associated with the events
described in this book have been changed. Any similarity to actual persons
is coincidental.
Copyright © 2008 by Janine Walker Caffrey, EdD
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in
a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic,
mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior written
permission of the publisher. Printed in the United States of America.
Design and production by Eclipse Publishing Services
Set in 12 point Adobe Garamond
Cataloging-in-Publication data for this book is available
from the Library of Congress.
First Da Capo Press edition 2008
ISBN 978-0-7382-1160-2
Published by Da Capo Press
A Member of the Perseus Books Group
www.dacapopress.com
Da Capo Press books are available at special discounts for bulk purchases in the
United States by corporations, institutions, and other organizations. For more
information, please contact the Special Markets Department at the Perseus Books
Group, 2300 Chestnut Street, Suite 200, Philadelphia, PA 19103, or call
[phone], ext. 5000, or e-mail [email protected].
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 —12 11 10 09 08
0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page v
For Drew Caffrey, an amazing husband
and even more amazing dad
0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page vi
This page intentionally left blank
0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page vii
Contents
Acknowledgments ix
Your Child’s Future 1
ONE
The Driving Test 23
TWO
How Motivated Is Your Child?
1–Be a Pathfinder 35
THREE
Gather the Info That
Really Makes a Difference
2–Increase Risk 57
FOUR
Take Away the Plastic Bubble
3–Decrease Rewards 71
FIVE
Allow Life’s Natural
Consequences to Take Hold
4–Deschedule 91
SIX
Encourage Joy, Imagination,
and Creativity
vii
0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page viii
viii Contents
5–Reduce Comfort 109
SEVEN
Counteract the Immense
Abundance and Indulgence
of Our Culture
6–Delay Gratification 127
EIGHT
Resist the Quick Fixes of
the Lottery, Game Shows,
and Reality TV
7–Encourage Accomplishment 141
NINE
Create a Sense of Self through
True Achievement
8–Control the Crowd 159
TEN
Use Peers for Positive Influence
and Independence
9–Create a Sense of Purpose 175
ELEVEN
Make Life Meaningful
Put Your Child 193
TWELVE
in the Driver’s Seat
Apply the Lessons of Drive
Index 215
0738211602-FM.qxd 4/16/08 8:56 PM Page ix
Acknowledgments
Thanks to the parents of Renaissance Academy for entrusting me
with your children’s education, and to the students of Renaissance
Academy for inspiring this book. I want you to dream big and keep
moving until your dreams become reality. Thanks to the amazing
staff of Renaissance Academy who are constantly trying new things
and making our great school even better.
I am deeply indebted to my agent, Wendy Keller, who believed
in me from the very beginning and kept agreeing to look at just one
more proposal until I got it just right. I continue to value your guid-
ance and friendship. Before my editor Katie McHugh got her hands
on this book, it was an unsolved Rubik’s Cube. Somehow she
moved all of the colors to their proper positions and made it all
make sense. Thanks, Katie.
Thanks to my parents, Adele and Howard Walker III, for in-
stilling drive in me. You have given me the courage to take risks and
appreciation for the gift of each day. My deepest gratitude goes to
my husband Drew and our now grown children, Alison and Daniel.
They have been reading my work leading up to this final product
for nearly five years. Each of them has a keen eye for detail, and
offers important guidance with each edit. Although their feedback
ix