Disaster Movies: A Loud, Long, Explosive, Star-Studded Guide to Avalanches, Earthquakes, Floods, Meteors, Sinking Ships, Twisters, Viruses, Killer Bees, ... Fallout, and Alien Attacks in the Cinema!!!!

433 Pages·2006·6.4 MB·english

by  Glenn Kay

D I S A S T E R
M OV I E S
A Loud, Long, Explosive,
Star-Studded Guide to
Avalanches, Earthquakes,
Floods, Meteors,
Sinking Ships,
Twisters, Viruses,
Killer Bees, Nuclear Fallout,
and Alien Attacks
in the Cinema!!!!
Glenn Kay and Michael Rose
An A Cappella Book
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Kay, Glenn.
Disaster movies : a loud, long, explosive, star-studded guide to avalanches,
earthquakes, floods, meteors, sinking ships, twisters, viruses, killer bees, nuclear
fallout, and alien attacks in the cinema!!!! / Glenn Kay and Michael Rose.— 1st ed.
p. cm.
An A Cappella book.
ISBN-13: 978-1-55652-612-1
ISBN-10: 1-55652-612-1
1. Disaster films—History and criticism. I. Rose, Michael, 1973– II.
Title.
PN1995.9.D55K39 2006
791.43’6556—dc22
2005030182
Cover and interior design: Emily Brackett/Visible Logic
Cover photos: (meteor) ImageBank; (flames) Getty Images/Photodisc
Interior illustrations: Greg Hyland
Questions and comments may be directed to [email protected]
© 2006 by Glenn Kay and Michael Rose
All rights reserved
First edition
Published in the United States by Chicago Review Press, Incorporated
814 North Franklin Street
Chicago, Illinois 60610
Published worldwide by Mosaic Press
1251 Speers Road
Oakville ON L6L 5N9 Canada
www.mosaic-press.com
ISBN-13: 978-1-55652-612-1
ISBN-10: 1-55652-612-1
Printed in the United States of America
5 4 3 2 1
COnTEnTS
Foreword by Mike Nelson, host of Mystery Science Theater 3000 ... v
Acknowledgments ... vii
Introduction by Glenn Kay ... ix
Introduction by Michael Rose ... xii
A Brief History of Disaster Movies ... 1
I’ll Never Fly with This Airline Again! ... 7
Shake, Rattle, and Roll ... 51
Disaster Movies’ Greatest Stars ... 79
Fun with Snow ... 86
Hot Molten Lava ... 104
The Best Disaster Movies Never Made ... 124
Sinking Ships ... 127
Don’t Be a Hero: The Disaster Movie’s Hardest Lesson ... 170
Big Space Rocks ... 172
Now That’s a Fire ... 194
The Most Ridiculous Disaster Movie Concepts Ever ... 224
Really Bad Storms ... 228
Just a Little Radiation ... 259
What’s with All the Love Themes? ... 306
Mad Bombers, Killer Bees, and Wild Animals ... 308
The Highest-Grossing Disaster Movies of All Time ... 347
Those Darn Aliens! ... 349
Movies That Sound Like They’re Disaster Films, But Aren’t ... 369
Disaster Movie Parodies ... 371
Our Ultimate Disaster Movie Lists ... 382
Index ... 384

FOREwORD
by Mike Nelson, host of Mystery Science Theater 3000
Do this simple experiment: grab a boy under the age of 15, any boy that’s handy,
give him crayons, paper, and half an hour’s time, and tell him to create the image
of his choosing. (OK, I assume you’re back now, having done that.) What did
he create? A lush image of a fragrant copse filled with daisies, buttercups, and
prancing fairies? A crude but poignantly beautiful spring wedding, the misty-eyed
bride gazing lovingly at her future husband while pastel-clad guests weep with joy
into lacy handkerchiefs? Still life of fruit? No, huh?
Let me guess—he drew a picture of missiles crashing into a densely populated
city. Or perhaps Godzilla rampaging through the financial district, gouts of fire
spouting from his hideous maw. Or, if he’s a little more talented, perhaps he
rendered the effects of a massive and devastating earthquake, complete with
details of the earth’s crust opening and swallowing train cars like ladyfingers, or
skyscrapers crumbling as though made of pasteboard.
Now give a grown man a camera, a crew, and eight weeks of filming, and what
will he create? Pillow Talk? That Touch of Mink? When Harry Met Sally? No, not
bloody likely. He’ll make Earthquake, of course, and if he’s even half a man he’ll
make the damn thing in Sensurround just to make sure you don’t miss the point.
Let’s face it, it’s deep in our subconscious to want to see Charlton Heston
try to survive a massive geological upheaval while simultaneously being forced
to choose between his wife and a beautiful mistress. Written right in our genetic
code is a desire to witness Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, William Holden, Faye
Dunaway, and Robert Wagner battle a building fire caused by faulty wiring. We
wouldn’t be human if we didn’t wake every day with a hunger for it.
Thank heavens for disaster films, or our needs would go unmet. We would
have to settle for The Wedding Planner, and I for one would not be prepared to go
on living in a world like that.
Earthquake was my first disaster film, and yes, I saw it in Sensurround. I was 10
years old and I’ll never forget the drama, the devastation, the terrifyingly creepy

performance of Marjoe Gortner as Jody (perhaps the only time a character named
Jody has ever had the power to frighten anyone in the slightest).
Playing right to my 10-year-old sensibilities, the movie saw fit to include an
homage to Evel Knievel, only instead of being a suicidal, drug-addled numskull
from Montana, he was all groovy and Richard Roundtree-ish (which was easy, as
he was played by Richard Roundtree). You did not want to be caught flat-footed
at school when Brian Fisher asked, “Did you guys see Earthquake in Sensurround
when that one guy was going to take his motorcycle into the loop-de-loop thing?”
You wanted—no, had—to be able to come back with, “Yeah, that was so cool
when he was about to do the stunt and the earthquake knocked his track down.”
Not to do so brought only scorn, derision, and the possibility of a very serious and
painful stint at the bottom of an Indian pile.
But it is the image of Victoria Principal that made the biggest impression.
Victoria played Rosa Amici and had the good sense to do so wearing a fright wig
and a tight leather jumpsuit. She looked like Sexxo the Clown. Which was fine
with me—and still is.
Who knows why we love to watch misery, tragedy, and disaster onscreen?
(If you’re really interested, you could probably read Aeschylus or Euripides or
something, though I don’t know why you would want to when Twister is due up
on cable at any moment.) But love it we do, especially when George Kennedy is
involved.
Disaster Movies is a loving, exhaustive, and funny look at all of the best of
these films. (All of the worst, too, though sometimes it is hard to tell them apart.)
You will find yourself consulting this book often, marveling as you do that they
just don’t make ’em like they used to, not even knowing for sure whether or not
that is a good thing.
i FOREWORD
ACknOwlEDgMEnTS
The authors would like to thank the following for their
contributions, support, and encouragement:
Sean Armstrong
The Arts & Letters Club of Toronto
Malina Bakowski
Al Bigongiari
John Brooks
Steven Chiodo
Joe Dante
Brad Darch
Carlos Diaz
Alex Gershon
Gunter, Andrea, Alec, Zach, and Evan Hinz
Hollywood Renaissance Movie Memorabilia
Bob Hoo
Greg Hyland
Igo Kantor
Iain and Sharon Kay
Don McKellar
John and Angela Migliore
Mike Nelson
O Entertainment
Chris Owen
Barbara, Alan, and Kathryn Rose
Joe Sudak
Nola Weaver
And all of the writers, artists, performers, and technicians
who made these movies possible
All of Glenn Kay’s profits earned as coauthor of Disaster Movies
will be donated to charity.
ii

InTRODuCTIOn
by Glenn Kay
Why would anybody want to watch a disaster film? What makes them so popular?
Why would anyone want to write a book on the subject? Why would anyone read
it? These are all questions that have plagued me. Well, OK, maybe they haven’t
plagued me. I haven’t lost any sleep over them. But I’ve put some thought into it.
To find an answer, I had to think back to my childhood and try to remember what
I originally found so appealing about these films.
I suppose that, at first, it was a morbid fascination with what the end of
the world might look like. The special effects that depicted the destruction of
buildings, streets, cities—even the planet—always struck me as cool. I watched
these films, jaw agape, captivated with fear. When I walked past the local cinema,
I marveled at the disaster movie posters, their graphic images luridly foretelling
the calamitous events that occurred in the films. Who wouldn’t become hooked?
As I got older, I found that I was watching them for a different reason: they’re
cheesy and hilarious. Many of the special effects in the older films don’t look quite
so special anymore, and most of the films involve cornball subplots, a surprising
amount of flag waving, and, at times, some really bad acting.
And, strangely enough, I watch disaster movies to see famous celebrities die
horribly violent deaths. That’s what I like best about them—I’ll happily admit it.
It’s all about seeing A-list actors get blown up, or fall 50 stories and crash to their
deaths on the city streets below. You’d never see an event this tragic or disturbing
in a typical Hollywood film. But in this genre, any star is as likely to buy the farm
as any other.
This is the guide to all movies disastrous in the 20th and early 21st centuries.
We divided movie reviews and listings into three types. Long Reviews offer in-
depth plot analyses and discussions of major releases new and old, with particular
attention paid to the elaborate and often hilarious ends of its characters. Brief
Reviews are reserved for movies that we felt we didn’t have quite as much to
comment on or that aren’t quite as important. Rare, Obscure, and Less Important
ix