Didn’t See It Coming: Overcoming the Seven Greatest Challenges That No One Expects and Everyone Experiences

180 Pages·2018·2.33 MB·English

by  Carey Nieuwhof

Praise for
Didn’t See It Coming
“Over the years, one of the things I’ve enjoyed most about being a public
speaker is having opportunities to hang out with Carey. We’ve had dozens of
meals and more coffees than I can count. I’ve had the good fortune to hear these
ideas as they developed and as they’ve helped leaders across the country. It’s not
a matter of if you’ll run into these challenges; it’s a matter of when. Be prepared
by spending a little time with a leader who has already been there.”
—JON ACUFF, New York Times best-selling author of Finish: Give Yourself
the Gift of Done “Burnout, cynicism, disconnection, compromise—are
these just the inevitable curses of growing older in a rapidly changing,
technology-addicted world? Carey Nieuwhof believes we can see these
ills coming before they befall us and can take steps to avoid them. If
you’re looking for gentle, empathetic life coaching from a Christian
perspective, this book is sure to help you.”
—DANIEL H. PINK, New York Times best-selling author of When and Drive
“One of the biggest challenges of the Christian life is staying the
course. Experiences happening to us and around us every day try to
derail us. In this book, Carey will help you identify some of the biggest
distractions threatening to keep you from your God-given destiny and
will provide you with tools to redirect your focus and keep your eyes
fixed on Jesus so you can finish your race strong.”
—CHRISTINE CAINE, best-selling author and founder of A21 and Propel
Women “Leaders do well when they continually examine themselves,
and they set themselves up for failure when they don’t. Carey points
leaders to some very important areas to observe.”
—DR. HENRY CLOUD, leadership consultant and author of The Power of the
Other
“If you don’t take the time to see what’s coming at you, you can’t see the One
who’s coming for you. And that’s why you have to read this book, which hands
you more than binoculars. Carey Nieuwhof offers you his own beckoning hand.
And he is an uncommonly perceptive and generous guide whose fresh, luminous
insights are a needed lens for all leaders to scout out more courage, more
capacity, more Christ.”
—ANN VOSKAMP, New York Times best-selling author of The Broken Way
and One Thousand Gifts “Carey isn’t just a great lawyer; he’s a wise
friend. This is a practical book about navigating your life. With clarity
and authenticity, Carey reminds us it usually isn’t the destination that’s
the problem. It’s the distractions along the way that will get us off
course.”
—BOB GOFF, New York Times best-selling author of Love Does and
Everybody, Always “Life has a way of broadsiding us with lessons that
we need to learn but would rather avoid. In his new book, Didn’t See It
Coming, Carey Nieuwhof candidly addresses seven key life challenges
that every leader will face. Carey writes with deep biblical insight,
straightforward truth, and practical wisdom to help you grow despite
facing life’s obstacles.”
—CRAIG GROESCHEL, pastor and New York Times best-selling author “Carey
is a deep thinker with a significant contemporary voice developed from
his unique life journey. Through seasons of idealism and cynicism,
disillusionment and burnout, Carey has navigated a path through
unexpected and enormous challenges to become an influential leader
and minister of the gospel. He leads from his life and relationship with
Jesus Christ with engaging humility and disarming vulnerability. Carey
has carefully and generously assembled the wisdom he has garnered
along the way into this powerful, personal, and highly readable book.”
—BRIAN HOUSTON, global senior pastor of Hillsong Church and author of
There Is More
“Whether you’re in the corner office or just getting started as a leader, this book
will become one of your greatest allies in your march toward success. In Didn’t
See It Coming, Carey Nieuwhof tackles seven life issues that blindside way too
many leaders. Whatever challenge you’re facing, whatever obstacle you’re
hoping to overcome, whatever future you dream or imagine, there is something
powerful for you here.”
—ANDY STANLEY, author, communicator, and founder of North Point
Ministries “At some point every leader struggles with deeper issues—
soul issues, heart issues, life issues. I’ve known Carey Nieuwhof for a
long time and have seen him navigate these matters with humility, skill,
and effectiveness. Didn’t See It Coming is a masterful treatment of
some of the biggest challenges you’ll ever face, and Carey offers you
the wisdom and strategies to tackle them.”
—REGGIE JOINER, CEO of Orange “Carey Nieuwhof is one of my favorite
people on the planet for a few reasons. First, he’s the genuine article.
Second, he challenges the way I think. I believe you’ll feel the same
way after reading this book! Few people see the future as clearly as
Carey. He will help you not only see a better future but also create it.”
—MARK BATTERSON, New York Times best-selling author of The Circle
Maker and lead pastor of National Community Church “Buckle up,
friends! What Carey Nieuwhof has shared in these pages is everything
you secretly fear and exactly what you need to hear. Too many of us
(myself included) have come dangerously close to being crippled by
these seven challenges. Your leadership influence is a sacred
responsibility and requires a deep commitment to lead yourself well. If
you’re brave enough to do the hard work, this book will be the lifeline
you need to keep leading well for the long haul!”
—JENNI CATRON, founder of the 4Sight Group
“Communication skills are only half the battle in leadership and life. If we’re
honest, the real struggle happens inside our hearts and souls. Nieuwhof’s new
book provides expert guidance in the life issues that make or break us as leaders
and as people. He addresses each issue honestly and with an accuracy that
pierces the heart.”
—NANCY DUARTE, best-selling author and CEO of Duarte Inc.
“Carey Nieuwhof cares deeply about leaders and proves it with this challenging
yet hopeful book. We all need a guide to help us know what’s around the corner
in our leadership journey, and Carey provides helpful perspective for any leader
at any level.”
—BRAD LOMENICK, author of H3 Leadership and The Catalyst Leader and
former president of Catalyst “It’s been said that youth is wasted on the
young and wisdom wasted on the old. But what if the wisdom of age
and experience could be transferred to anyone still on the journey?
That’s exactly what Carey Nieuwhof has done in Didn’t See It Coming.
If you’re interested in accelerating your growth as a leader and learning
wisdom beyond your years, pick up a copy today.”
—WILLIAM VANDERBLOEMEN, founder and CEO of Vanderbloemen Search
Group “Carey is one of my favorite church leadership voices. If you
want to know what the future holds and how to react to it tomorrow,
read Didn’t See It Coming today.”
—JOHN ORTBERG, senior pastor of Menlo Church and author of I’d Like You
More If You Were More Like Me

DIDN’T SEE IT COMING
This book is not intended to replace the advice of a trained psychological or medical professional. Readers
are advised to consult a qualified professional regarding treatment. The author and publisher specifically
disclaim liability, loss, or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or
indirectly, of the use or application of any of the contents of this book.
All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004,
2007, 2013, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers Inc.,
Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
Details in some anecdotes and stories have been changed to protect the identities of the persons involved.
Hardcover ISBN 9780735291331
Ebook ISBN 9780735291348
Copyright © 2018 by Carey Nieuwhof Communications Limited
Cover design by Kristopher K. Orr; photography by Shutterstock
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage and retrieval
system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Published in the United States by WaterBrook, an imprint of the Crown Publishing Group, a division of
Penguin Random House LLC, New York.
WATERBROOK® and its deer colophon are registered trademarks of Penguin Random House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Nieuwhof, Carey, author.
Title: Didn’t see it coming : overcoming the seven greatest challenges that no one expects and everyone
experiences / Carey Nieuwhof.
Description: First edition. | Colorado Springs : WaterBrook, 2018. | Includes bibliographical references.
Identifiers: LCCN 2018000541 | ISBN 9780735291331 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780735291348 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Expectation (Psychology)—Religious aspects—Christianity. | Surprise. | Christian life.
Classification: LCC BV4647.E93 N54 2018 | DDC 248.8/6—dc23
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018000541
v5.3.2
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To my wife, Toni I knew there was something amazing in you from the first time I laid eyes on you.
I just had no idea it could be this deep, this rich, or this profound for this long. Not to mention this
much fun. And to think we’re just getting started.
And to my parents, Marten and Marja Your constant encouragement, support, faith, and
love never cease to encourage me and inspire me. You always point the way toward hope
and toward Jesus.
Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Introduction: Surprise
Part I: Cynicism
Chapter 1: Find Me a Happy Lawyer
How Cynicism Snuffs Out Hope
Chapter 2: Kicking Cynicism in the Teeth
Practical Ways to Defeat Your Inner Cynic
Part II: Compromise
Chapter 3: Successful (on the Outside)
Why Character Determines Your True Capacity
Chapter 4: Taking Your Soul Off the Market
Practical Ways to Deepen Your Character
Part III: Disconnection
Chapter 5: Is Anyone Out There?
Why So Many of Us Feel So Alone
Chapter 6: Ditching Your Phone Won’t Help
Why You Need to Solve the Human Problem
Part IV: Irrelevance
Chapter 7: Change Never Asks Permission
The Silent Creep of Irrelevance