Deaf and hearing siblings in conversation

213 Pages·2014·1.453 MB·English

by  Berkowitz, Marla C.;Jonas, Judith A.;Sheridan, Martha

Deaf and Hearing
Siblings in Conversation
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Deaf and Hearing
Siblings in Conversation
MARLA C. BERKOWITZ and
JUDITH A. JONAS
Foreword by Martha A. Sheridan
McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers
Jefferson, North Carolina
LIBRARYOFCONGRESSCATALOGUING-IN-PUBLICATIONDATA
Berkowitz, Marla C., 1964–
Deaf and hearing siblings in conversation / Marla C.
Berkowitz and Judith A. Jonas ; foreword by Martha A.
Sheridan.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references and index.
♾
ISBN 978-0-7864-7825-5 (softcover : acid free paper)
ISBN 978-1-4766-1513-4 (ebook)
1. Deaf—Family relationships. 2. Deaf—Means of
communication. 3. Brothers and sisters of people with
disabilities. 4. Brothers and sisters—Psychological aspects.
I. Jonas, Judith A., 1943– II. Title.
HV2380.B47 2014
305.9'082—dc23 2014023703
BRITISHLIBRARYCATALOGUINGDATAAREAVAILABLE
© 2014 Marla C. Berkowitz and Judith A. Jonas. All rights reserved
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form
or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying
or recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system,
without permission in writing from the publisher.
Cover image © iStock/Thinkstock
Printed in the United States of America
McFarland & Company, Inc., Publishers
Box 611, Jefferson, North Carolina 28640
www.mcfarlandpub.com
Acknowledgments
Each of us had a circle of people who have been there from the very begin-
ning of the birth of our project many years ago. They’ve been bystanders but
not without a significant purpose, whether they knew it or not. We are forever
indebted for their confidence and trust in our journey.
To the siblings who let us do face- to-face interviews: Welcoming us
to your homes, baring your sibling experiences without hesitation, and trusting
us with your deepest thoughts is beyond gratitude. Without you this book
would never have existed.
To the Lawrence W. Levine Foundation: We are extremely grateful for
the extended financial support from Russell Kane, who had been a childhood
friend of Marla’s for more than forty years, for soliciting the funding on behalf
of the foundation for the interviews, travel expenses, and other operational
costs to complete the research study on sibling relationships.
To Dr. Brenda Brueggemann: You have been our ardent supporter and
editor, boosting our confidence that studying deaf and hearing adult siblings
was critical and timely. Your expertise in addressing the cohesiveness of our
preliminary manuscript, complete with your warmth, wit and salient com-
ments, steered us in the right direction.
From Marla Berkowitz:
To Charisse: Your love and encouragement never wavered, challenging
me to write with clarity from our countless chats about my work on siblings.
To Hannah: Your everyday reminder to get up and take me out for our
long walks is a lifesaver. You’ve been the most patient and understanding canine
ever!
To Mom, Dad and Arnold: What you have provided for me is never
taken for granted. Your love and devotion were plentiful, especially with teach-
ing me the determination to navigate efficiently in this world.
v
vi ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
To Julie and Joseph: With gratitude, your frankness in sharing incredible
perspectives, which shed light on my understanding you slightly better. It gives
me hope that in the days ahead we can conquer the hurdles of our distant sib-
ling relations.
To Danny, Benjamin, Mia, Ayla, Sophie and Danielle: My dearest
nephews and nieces, watching you grow up to be as loving as you are, reminds
me that being a sibling is to be cherished.
To Rich, Lisa, and Michelle: Even though you came into my family later
through our parents’ marriage, I look forward to the days when I can get to
know you and your children better.
To Judy: Our weekly and monthly sessions, and our years of work
together remotely, were truly the best and most rewarding I’ve ever experienced
in ways you’ve never imagined. Thank you for being such a great role model,
for being a friend, for sharing openly about your life confirming the joys of
being a sibling.
And … to those who have seen me working on this project nonstop, I
offer my deepest gratitude for your inquisitiveness, rooting, and years of
patience!
From Judy Jonas:
To my husband, Peter:You’re always there for me, supporting my many
muses.
To my brother, Larry: We’re simpatico. We’ve never had a fight.
To my sister, Mary Ann: Unknowingly, you led the way.
To my daughter, Deborah: You guided us through our tangle of data
and listened.
To my daughter, Wendy: Your support and faith in my work were con-
stant.
To Ed and Joan, Arnie and Nina: As lifelong friends, your encourage-
ment was invaluable, recognizing this was a huge undertaking.
To JoAnn: You see, we’re finally done.
To Eileen Forestal: You gently led me to the DEAF- WORLD.
To Marla Berkowitz, first my teacher, then a colleague, and now my
friend who constantly challenged me to absorb and understand the depth and
breadth of the DEAF- WORLD.
Table of Contents
Acknowledgments v
Foreword by Martha A. Sheridan 1
Preface 3
Introduction 7
PART ONE. THE EMERGENCE OF A SIBLING 15
1. How Conversations Began 16
2. First Social Network 21
3. Inside the Family 32
4. Intensities of Sibling Closeness 41
PART TWO. MILAN IMPACT 47
5. Between Marginalization and Human Rights 50
6. Molding Deaf Siblings 63
7. The Fallout 95
8. Magnet Secrets 104
PART THREE. SIBLING BUDDIES 115
9. Sibling Monitors 116
10. Sibling Facilitators 125
11. Signing Siblings 134
12. Sibling-I nterpreters 143
vii
viii TABLEOFCONTENTS
13. Investing Quality Time 160
14. We Will Chat Anyway 163
Appendix A: Continuum of Intensities of Sibling Closeness 179
Appendix B: Questions for Guided Discussion 181
Appendix C: Let’s See What Our Fingers Know 183
Appendix D: BMJ Family Interpreter Fund 187
Chapter Notes 191
Bibliography 193
Index 199
Foreword
by Martha A. Sheridan
Most of us have drawn or painted family pictures and many of us have
siblings who were depicted in these subjective works of art. No two paintings
by siblings from a family will be the same because perception is in the eye of
the beholder brought to view through the brushstrokes of our separate, yet
connected minds and hearts. Rarely, if ever, do siblings have the chance to dis-
cuss their observations of these powerful reciprocal influences and outcomes
and come to know each other and themselves through this personal reflec-
tion.
This book is not about just any ordinary relationship between brothers
and sisters. Marla Berkowitz and Judy Jonas have begun an important and
long overdue conversation about deaf and hearing sibling relations where we
would assume that opportunities for shared communication and meanings are
complicated by the lack of a common language or an imbalance in communi-
cation access. Relationship dynamics in families with deaf and hearing siblings
have remained a mystery as researchers have historically focused their energies
on the experiences of deaf children and those of their parents. Yet a whole
image is made up of the sum of its parts, and to more fully understand the
experiences and constructions of deaf- member families, we need to paint a
complete landscape, including every part of the whole.
Co-researchers Marla Berkowitz, who is deaf with hearing siblings, and
Judy Jonas, who is hearing with one deaf and one hearing sibling, have taken
steps to complete this picture through phenomenological interviews with
twenty- two deaf and hearing siblings. Inspired by their own personal experi-
ences, the authors take us on an intimate and very personal journey through
the lives and experiences of deaf and hearing siblings. The authors supple-
mented the narratives provided by their research participants with creative
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