Crux: A Cross-Border Memoir

285 Pages·2018·7.98 MB·English

by  Jean Guerrero

Copyright © 2018 by Jean Guerrero Map copyright © 2018 by David Lindroth Inc.
All rights reserved.
Published in the United States by One World, an imprint of Random House, a division of Penguin Random
House LLC, New York.
ONE WORLD is a registered trademark and its colophon is a trademark of Penguin Random House LLC.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Names: Guerrero, Jean, author.
Title: Crux : a cross-border memoir / By Jean Guerrero.
Description: First edition. | New York : One World, [2018]
Identifiers: LCCN 2017035196 | ISBN 9780399592393 | ISBN 0399592393 | ISBN 9780399592409
(ebook) Subjects: LCSH: Adult children of drug addicts—Biography. | Adult children of immigrants—
Biography. | Adult children of alcoholics—Biography. | Schizophrenics—Biography. Classification: LCC
HV5132 .G84 2018 | DDC 362.29/13092 [B]—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/
2017035196
Ebook ISBN 9780399592409
oneworldlit.com
randomhousebooks.com
Book design by Jo Anne Metsch, adapted for ebook Cover design: Anna Kochman
Cover photograph: Jean Guerrero and her father on the coast of La Misión, Baja California, 1989 (author’s
collection) FRONTISPIECE: My father tosses me in the suburbs of San Diego, California, in May 1989.
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Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Epigraph
Map
Author’s Note
La Nada
Part I: The Road to Xibalba
The Summons
La Misión
VHS Vortex
Días de Los Muertos
Curative Books
Fat Flies
Brain Implant
Part II: House of Darkness
Fertility
Maternity
Part III: House of Razors
Wicca
Self-Fulfilling Prophecy
Fairy-Tale Neurons
Part IV: House of Cold
Curse
CIA Torture
Flight
Part V: House of Jaguars
El Monstruo
Blood Eden
Drowned
Part VI: House of Fire
The Root
Part VII: House of Bats
Larvae
The Devil’s Tick
Chamán
Caxcan: An Epilogue
Dedication
Acknowledgments
About the Author
I heard my blood, singing in its prison,
and the sea sang with a murmur of light,
one by one the walls gave way….
OCTAVIO PAZ, Piedra de Sol
“They shall worship you first. Your name shall not be forgotten.
Thus be it so,” they said to their father when they comforted his
heart. “We are merely the avengers of your death and your loss, for
the affliction and misfortune that were done to you.” Thus was their
counsel when they had defeated all Xibalba.
Popol Vuh, ALLEN J. CHRISTENSON translation
It is important to be on the lookout for the occurrence of positive
synchronicities, for they are the signals that power is working to
produce effects far beyond the normal bounds of probability.
MICHAEL HARNER, The Way of the Shaman

AUTHOR’S NOTE
T
his book is divided into seven segments, corresponding to different parts of
the ancient K’iche’ Maya creation story in the Popol Vuh. The legend tells of
two twins, the Sun and the Moon, who venture into the underworld, Xibalba,
where their father has been trapped. They overcome several challenges and
resurrect him.
This is a work of nonfiction. Parallels with the Popol Vuh are coincidences. I
used memories, interviews, videotapes, diaries, immigration documents, prison
records, baptismal files, history books and more to re-create the past. Dialogue
with quotation marks is from audio recordings or notes; dialogue in italics comes
from recollections.