Cracks in My Foundation: Bags, Trips, Make-up Tips, Charity, Glory, and the Darker Side of the Story (Essays and Stories) PDF
Preview Cracks in My Foundation: Bags, Trips, Make-up Tips, Charity, Glory, and the Darker Side of the Story (Essays and Stories)
CRACKS IN MY FOUNDATION Bags, Trips, Make-up Tips, Charity, Glory, and the Darker Side of the Story Essays and Stories by MARIAN KEYES Contents Introduction v Essays ON THE ROAD 3 Cheaper Than Drugs 5 Stack’n’fly 9 Thirty-six Hours in Jo’burg 15 Being Sent to Siberia 19 Climb Every Mountain 31 HEALTH AND BEAUTY 35 They Say You Always Remember Your First Time . . . 37 Hand Upgrade 42 Knickers: A Vexed Area 46 Your Bad Health 51 Hair-brained 57 Mirror, Mirror 62 Faking It 68 Once Were Worriers 73 ii(cid:10) Contents OH, THE GLAMOUR 77 Fabulous, Darling 79 Action! 85 I Shop, Therefore I Am 90 The Great Outdoors 96 The Real Thing 102 FRIENDS AND FAMILY 109 Big Night Out 113 Villa-itis 121 Life Begins 127 Big Air 131 Eyes Wide Shut 139 Flaming December 145 Viva La Resolution? 150 Hurling Insults 154 NO PLACE LIKE HOME 161 Black Out 163 Queen of the Earplugs 167 We Really Must Get Together This Year... 174 Man Power 178 Season of Goodwill (and Chocolate) 184 BUT SERIOUSLY 189 Beyond My Wildest Dreams 191 Concerned 203 Rebuilding Children 216 The “F” Word 225 iii Stories A Moment of Grace 3 A Woman’s Right to Shoes 42 Precious 55 Soulmates 63 The Truth Is Out There 72 Under 101 The Mammy Walsh Problem Page 113 About the Author Books by Marian Keyes Credits Cover Copyright About the Publisher iv Introduction � ello and welcome to Cracks in My Foundation, the follow-up to Under the Duvet, my first volume of journalism. I say “jour- nalism,” but the articles included here are mostly humorous autobi- ographical pieces about subjects like my great love of makeup and ill health, and my great fear of being trapped on a bus in a foreign country with forty Irish people (it ’s the singing.) There are also a few more serious pieces about feminism, mediums, and charity trips I’ve made to Ethiopia and Russia. This time around, some of my short stories are also included. In fact, all of them seem to be—all six of them. The thing is that I find it really hard to write short stories (the clue is in the name: they’re too short. I’m only really getting into my stride with the characters and the plot, when next thing, it’s time to finish it. As a result, I’ve written very few.). Also included here is something called “The Mammy Walsh Problem Page.” Mammy Walsh is a character who has appeared in several of my novels as a supporting character (a mother, as it hap- pens), and over time she has developed a life of her own. In re- sponse to readers’ requests, she now dispenses no-nonsense advice. v Introduction I am slightly worried that by giving her a platform in this book, she ’ll lose the run of herself entirely; she ’s pretty strident at the best of times. Some of the articles in this collection have already been pub- lished and the various publications are credited at the end of each piece. Thank you to all of them for permitting me to re-use the pieces. Now, just before someone writes and asks, everything in the non-fiction pieces in this book really did happen to me (yes, even turning forty), but occasionally I’ve changed people ’s names to protect them (and sometimes me). All of my royalties from the Irish sales of the hardcover will go to To Russia With Love, a wonderful charity that works with Rus- sian orphans. And thank you very much for reading this book. I sin- cerely hope you enjoy it. Marian Keyes vi Essays .
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