Issue#2 Spring 2014 Free to rural addresses country grind #2 1 co-conspirators: Subscriptions: Advertising: Cat Meow, Dandy Denial, Dylan, Eliot There are several options for subscribing. We will only accept ads from rad folks sell- Fiend, Haybale Mike, Ian Petrie, Isaac If you’re a rural punk its easy; just email ing/promoting shit that is in line with DIY Roylos, Ragtime Rach, Shauna Russell, your mailing address to distribution@ punk ethics. timeMOTHeye countrygrind.net and you will continue to recieve the country grind as long as it’s free. Here are the ad prices. We are able to do a Cover Scarecrow: timeMOTHeye limited amount of space for trade. Contact Cover Banner: Sean Fitzgerald If you’re a city punk in Canada or the USA us if you’re interested. Logo Design: Isaac Roylos you can buy an indivudual copy for $5ppd or a one year subscription for $20ppd. 2.5”W x 4”H = 1/16 page $10 Contact: International prices are $7 and $28 respec- 2.5”W x 8”H = 1/8 page tall $15 The Country Grind tivaly. 10.25”W x 2”H = 1/8 page wide $20 Box 266 5”W x 8”H = 1/4 page $30 Ochre River, MB R0L 1K0 Submissions: 10.25”W x 8”H = 1/2 page $50 Canada We are activly seeking submissions for 10.25”W x 16”H = Full Page $100 Issue #2 future issues. We would love to read your General info/Advertisers: articles, editorials, art, comics, poetry, We can also accept odd sizes. 2.5, 5, 7.5, or Spring 2014 [email protected] fiction, book and music reviews, as long as 10.25 inches wide by any height. Contact us circulation 1000 Distribution & Propaganda: it is relevent to rural punks and follows our for pricing. Editors: [email protected] guidelines (please, please read them first on Gretchen Bonegardener Submissions: our website) Celeste Inez Mathilda [email protected] If you are one of the admirable anoma- Distribution: lies that refuses to use email you can call Gretchen Bonegardener Gretchen at 204-647-PUNX. She’d love to Eloit Fiend chat it up with you. Oh, and we have a Facebook page... Cat Meow facebook.com/countrygrind introductions gretchen Celeste Well hot diggity dog! Issue number two is mention that she wrote the crossword for is- As i’m settling into the role of proofreading working for clarity or readability or acces- here already! That means the spring is al- sue #1 in 30 minutes). She’s also taking over and editing submissions to the Grind, i’m sibility’s sake, i’m also really pleased that our most here!!! I don’t know about the rest of all submissions. Eliot stepped up big time in starting to really love some specific things contributors are so willing to work with me you folks, but us punks here in the Canadian taking on the whole US distribution for me, about the work. on their stuff. When i ask for changes to prairies have had one of the coldest winters taking countless hours out of his extremely your work, i always cringe a little, because, on record. I even remember hearing Win- busy schedule to lick and stamp hundreds I love the fact that all kinds of people are sub- dear writers, this is your art and you’ve nipeggers boasting on New Years Eve that of envelopes for all of you readers south of mitting. I get crisply written, formal articles poured yourself into it, and who am i, really, Winnipeg was colder than both the North the border. He also brought our Indiegogo with clear explanations about how to do use- to judge? Pole and the surface temperature of Mars. campaign to life. ful things. I get essays that feel like they’re Just last week it managed to drop down to towing the reader through an enchanted wa- So, thank you all for being so co-opera- a deadly windchill of -60°C(-76°F) in Sas- Cat has also stepped up huge! From com- terlike plane of reality; facts aren’t presented, tive. Editing is scary. Getting a critique on katchewan! (Seriously, Fuck you god!) pletely taking over subscriptions and distri- so much as floated past on lilypads and drift- your work is scary. It can take a lot of en- bution, starting and maintaining the Face- ing leaves. I get articles in a delicious slang, ergy to delve back into an article that you’d I actually love the cold and epic Manito- book page, helping with editing, to creating articles written like life, punchy, on fire, or already put so much work into, that you ba winters, but this winter was so extreme the Propaganda Division (marketing/dis- deep and dark and thoughtful, articles that hoped you were done with. I’m really flat- that I was stuck indoors for most of it. It tributing The Grind to rad cafes, bookstores, are direct and simple, and everything in be- tered that you’re so willing to work with me, was seriously just dangerously cold outside. etc), her work is really helping shape The tween. and it makes me really happy when i’m able But while that sucked for me and my dog, Grind into something a little more, dare I to help you smooth out the rough spots. it meant that I was available to put all my say, professional (at least behind the scenes I’m really pleased to be editing a magazine free time into The Grind. I’m still in The Pas, anyways). that doesn’t have an annoying obsession So here’s to that relationship, to the truly Manitoba, going to school for Heavy Duty with “academic” writing. Fuck that elitist impressive results of your labour, and to the Mechanics, so I still have my access to un- I also want to thank all the Saskatchewan bullshit. admirable humility that allows you to put up limited internet and electricity for the time punx, Mike & Rachel and Ian & Shauna, with my nit picking, and hopefully helping. being. I’m not exactly sure what The Grind for their help with donating rewards for However, when something does need re- will look like once I’m home and back off- the fundraiser, helping find advertisers, and grid, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. helping with big decisions and problem solv- Letters to even reading this paper they’re probably ing. Individually, thank you Mike for writing pretty rad already. This issue is just as epic and action-packed and performing “The Country Grind Did- as the first issue, maybe even better. We have dy” for the fundraiser (which was so pop- the grind Also, a last minute addition. Our Indiegogo a beautiful piece from timeMOTHeye on ular we’ve included the lyrics and chords in fundraiser finished last night and we raised the cover. Saskatchewan dreadneck Justice this issue), and Ian for organizing the Online Beaver wrote a hilarious and informative Resources and for doing a last minute inter- just over our goal of $2,500! this will cover Have something you’d like to say? Wanna article about hunting prairie chickens. We view with THE GRID PICKERS that turned all the printing and shipping costs for issues add something? Wanna comment on an also have two folks from Pioneers Press, out awesome! #2 and #3. More importantly than money to article you loved (or hated) we’ll gladly Thad Christian and Adam Gnade, submit- me is the fact the people have really shown publish your letters. send to punx@coun- ting pieces. Along with some sweet original I want to personally apologise to everyone that they support the idea of The Grind (by trygrind.net Subject: Letters. something more substantial than “likes” on artwork from Czars, Celeste, Isaac, Natania, who has sent me amazing and encouraging Facebook) and are willing to help support and a full page of work by Bubzee. And we lettermail. I have been insanely busy these Dear Country Grind, this rag in its infancy so it can establish it- have an interview with THE GRID PICK- past few months. Way more busy than I’d self. A million thank you’s to all of you who ERS, Rachel and Mike’s folk band. ever like to be, but in one month I’m go- [Re: Your Uterus and The Bush] contributed to our campaign. ing to be leaving The Pas (yay! seriously, Issue one taught me that you don’t need fuck this place) and heading to Yellowknife, Great job on the inaugural issue! Definitely So I guess I’ll wrap this up and let you peruse experience or expertise to start a project as Northwest Territories to do my practicum saving it for future reference. There’s just this paper. Part of me still wants to apologise big as this. All you need is drive; you need for school and hopefully after all that my life one thing that squicked me a bit. I’ve used for the layout or editing or whatever, but se- to keep yourself motivated even when what will once again calm down, just in time for a diva cup for a couple years now and the riously, I think we doing a damn good job you’re reaching for seems impossible. Just summer. thought of sealing it in plastic between uses considering that we have no experience and keep chasing that carrot. is gross. if there is any moisture when you no real plan. And really, if you actually have Also, I seriously don’t understand how you seal the container there is a risk of bacterial a problem with a picture that is off centre or But I also learnt that there’s no way I can do folks aren’t making use of the free classifieds growth and just general stink. just keep it in a word misspelled, then this paper is really this by myself. I’ve had some fucking amaz- in the back of The Grind. Maybe you’ll have the little bag it comes in and wash it before not made for you. ing friends step up and not only lend a help- noticed that my “Epic babe seeks epic babe” you pop it in. ing hand, but also help shape the look and ad from the first issue isn’t there anymore. Looking forward to the next issue Feel free to get a hold of me at punx@coun- feel of the paper. Celeste stepped up to help it’s probably due to the fact I found a su- trygrind.net, or read my personal blog at with spelling and grammar editing, as well preme babe (who makes all my babelieness -JKitten ruralpunk.tumblr.com (no, I’m not on Face- as giving me a hand with layout and draw- pale in comparison) as a direct result of the book, but The Grind is.) ing little doodles to fit in the cracks (not to Country Grind Classifieds. So seriously give Thanks for that heads up JKitten. it a shot why don’t ya. Looking for land, for ~gretchen 2 , friends, for love, or for a rusty old half-ton Up the Rural Punx! Spring 14 (true love), you know that if someone is ~gretchen because they don’t weigh much or soak up number in the ratio. This number is the to- much liquid. Dense parts like roots and tal volume of liquid. Columns bark tincture at a far ratio (1:4 to 1:6) be- Nettles: 4 oz nettles, 1:3 ratio, 4x3=12 oz liq- cause they weigh more--they’ve got all that uid structure to carry around, all those heavy Burdock: 4 oz burdock, 1:4 ratio, 4x4=16 oz plant bones. They soak up a lot of liquid, so liquid your herbs stick out of the top if you don’t put in enough. 5. Multiply liquid volume (the number you when you feel dragged down, frazzled, and got in step 4) by the alcohol concentration overwhelmed, with herbs for the nervous Solubility: Herbs that are more water-solu- you want. This is the volume of alcohol. system (nervines). Nettle is a tonic against ble tincture at a lower alcohol concentration We’re pretending grain alcohol is 100% in- seasonal allergies and allergies that mani- (40-60%). Herbs that are more alcohol-sol- stead of 95% for our sanity. fest in skin and mucous membranes (like uble tincture at a higher alcohol concentra- Nettles: 12 oz liquid x75%=9 oz alcohol sinuses). Use it for skin conditions related tion (60-80%). Burdock: 16 oz liquid x60%=9.6, let’s say 10 to stress, fatigue, or dryness. Nettles stimu- oz alcohol late milk production in nursing mamas and Fresh Herbs: Tincture at a higher alcohol protect against postpartum depression and Nettles, Burdock, & How to Make Tinc- exhaustion. concentration and a closer ratio, because 6. Subtract the alcohol volume from the total tures That Actually Work and Don’t Taste they already contain water and weigh more. volume of liquid. This is how much water Like Death Because of its effect on kidney function, A general rule is 1:2 to 1:4, based on the part you need. of the plant, and 60% to 80%, based on sol- Nettles: 12 oz liquid–9 oz alcohol=3 oz water the tea is protective against chronic urinary Spring is the time to start making your own tract infections and helps relieve symptoms ubility. For example, tincture the delicate Burdock: 16 oz liquid–10 oz alcohol=6 oz herbal medicine, or get way better at it, be- of arthritis and gout with anti-inflammatory parts of an alcohol-loving plant like Echi- water cause you have the whole growing season herbs like willow, and high blood pressure nacea at 1:2 80%. At the other end of the ahead of you to screw up and try again. with a heart tonic like hawthorn. Tea and spectrum, tincture the bark of a water-lover 7. Put herbs in jar, then pour alcohol and Almost over night, medicine is popping up food are high in minerals, so nettle helps like willow at 1:4 60%. water over herbs. Mash the herbs down to out of the ground all over the yard and the protect against iron-deficiency anemia, os- keep them under the liquid. woods and the roadsides—and at the same teoporosis, and electrolyte deficiencies. It Dried Herbs: Tincture at a lower alcohol Nettles: 4 oz herbs, 9 oz grain alcohol, 3 oz time, we’re antsy to get outside without the combines beautifully with other spring concentration and a farther ratio, because water coveralls, snow boots, and wool we’ve been tonics like burdock for diuretic and min- they don’t have any water and need some in Burdock: 4 oz herbs, 10 oz grain alcohol, 6 sweating in for the last 4-6 months. eral benefits. Cook the leaves like kale for there to extract water-soluble compounds. oz water A general rule is 1:4 to 1:6, again based on springtime joy. Fresh seeds & roots are also Weedy spring medicines called spring tonics collected for very strong medicine (not a the part of the plant, and 40% to 60%, based 8. Line the lid with waxed paper or muslin get a lot of attention this time of year. Their tonic), as a diuretic and adrenal rejuvenator. on solubility. Again, the high end of the so alcohol doesn’t eat away the lining of the medicine is gentle and cleansing, helping us spectrum is for delicate parts of alcohol-lov- lid and put metal and BPA’s in your tincture. shed the sluggishness of fireside hibernation, Making Tinctures ing plants, so a dried Echinacea leaf tinc- Label with plant, date, moon phase, harvest too much sleep and too much booze and not ture would be 1:4 60%. The low end of the location, etc. Cover label with packing tape enough fresh vegetables. These herbs stimu- Weight-to-volume tinctures are herbs spectrum is for dense parts of water-loving so it doesn’t disappear. late and rejuvenate the liver, kidneys, diges- soaked in alcohol, vinegar, or glycerin, plants, so a dried willow bark tincture would tion, blood and lymph system, energizing us where we follow a recipe instead of just be 1:6 40%. 9. Let sit 6 weeks or more in a cool, dark for the growing season. Tonics should be filling a jar with herbs and liquor (like for place, shaking occasionally. taken every day for best effect. Common ex- a folkloric tincture). It’s more complicated Recipe: Fresh Nettles & Burdock Tinctures amples include dandelion, burdock, yellow this way, but it pays off because it yields the 10. Strain, then squeeze the herbs in a potato dock, cleavers, chickweed, nettles, and many strongest, most effective medicine from the To illustrate how to follow a recipe to make ricer to extract the last, strongest part of the other early weeds, depending on where you herbs. You can look up recipes in books, but genuinely good tinctures, and in honor of tincture. If you don’t have a potato ricer you live. We’ll cover nettles and burdock as ex- with a little practice you can figure it out on spring: the nettle leaf tincture represents can use 2 plates but the potato ricer works amples and talk about how to preserve them your own. Honestly, if you make a tincture higher alcohol tinctures of delicate plant better. Feed the herbs to your chickens or in alcohol (tincture), because digging up a at a weird ratio, nothing bad is going to hap- parts, and burdock root tincture represents the compost. bunch of burdock doesn’t do you any good pen and your tincture will still be useful--it lower alcohol tinctures of dense plant parts. if you can’t use it. might be weak but it’s not going to explode. This recipe can be applied to any herb you would tincture. I’m using fluid and solid If you use less than 40% alcohol you risk Dig roots in early spring, as the sap is rising spoilage, but other than that it’s a pretty safe ounces, but if you’re a metric user it works and the first leaves poke out of the soil, when bet that what you make will be medicinal. just as well in ml and gm. There’s a lot more it’s still cold at night. Young leaves can be about tincturing, solubility, and trouble- cut as soon as they appear until they’re gone This recipe is for grain alcohol tinctures be- shooting your medicine at oldwaysherbal. for the year, except nettles (see below). cause it’s the most complicated and you can com/blog. Another free resource is Michael One thing to note is that many spring tonics use the technique for any herb you would Moore’s tincture recipes at www.swsbm.com. have high mineral & soluble fiber content, tincture. A lot of folks make weight-to- neither of which dissolves in alcohol. If you volume tinctures with 80 proof vodka, but Harvesting nettles: Harvest on a sunny day want the fiber or minerals, make tea, food, you can’t get the most medicine out of fresh during the full moon. Wear gloves to cut or tincture them in vinegar. herbs or herbs that prefer higher alcohol young nettles off at an angle ½ inch above a leaf node (so you can cut again this sea- content. Like always, look up any herb you’re think- son). Never harvest nettles after they bloom ing of using to make sure it’s safe for you if Tincture recipes are written as a ratio and a with tiny hanging green flowers from their you have health concerns, and make sure percent, like 1:2 75%. The ratio tells you the armpits, they can have major effects on hor- you’re harvesting the right plants. balance of herbs to liquid, and the percent mones. Hold the end of the stem in one hand and strip the leaves off away from you. tells you the balance of alcohol to water in Burdock is a cool, moist, calming anti-in- the liquid. In the example 1:2 75%, for every Only harvest nettles from good clean soil, flammatory rejuvenator. Use the tinctured 1 part of herbs you use 2 parts of liquid, and they uptake heavy metals. root to stimulate sluggish digestion; cleanse the liquid is 75% alcohol and 25% water. To 11. Store in a glass jar or bottle in a cool, the liver, gall bladder, kidneys, and blood; figure out the percent of store-bought liquor, Harvesting burdock: Look for the 2nd year’s dark place. Dosage is different for different and relieve hot, congested skin conditions just divide the proof in half. Grain alcohol growth: the leaves will be larger, usually in herbs, but for these 2 recipes try 1-3 drop- like acne and boils. It’s soothing to PMS is 190 proof, so 95% alcohol and 5% water. an area that went weedy last year. Dig roots pers (1-3 ml) daily. Tinctures last for years. symptoms with liver involvement, like acne We dilute grain alcohol with water to get the in the early morning during the new moon, and constipation, combined with a woman’s ideal concentration for different tinctures, within a day or 2 of rain for the best medi- herb like black haw. Use it to cleanse the liver based on solubility. cine. during recovery from substance abuse. Root tea (decoction) is used to relieve symptoms Something is soluble if it dissolves in a liq- You will need: Grain alcohol; scale; mea- of irritable bowel syndrome, or as a gentle uid, like how salt dissolves in water but oil suring cup; knife and cutting board; clean every day medicine against chronic urinary doesn’t. All plants contain both alcohol-sol- canning jars; waxed paper or clean muslin; tract infections and kidney stones. The root uble and water-soluble parts; the question labels or scrap paper; packing tape. Eventu- is high in minerals and soluble fiber, so the is whether the medicinal parts are soluble ally, a potato ricer or press. tea is useful against anemia, to help recov- in alcohol or water. Some herbs, like Echi- er from antibiotic use with probiotic foods, nacea, are mostly alcohol-soluble; others, 1. Pick the ratio, 1:2 to 1:6. and to help neutralize high cholesterol and like willow, are mostly water-soluble. Most Nettles: 1:3 reproductive hormone imbalances with a herbs are a mix of both; think about all those Burdock 1:4 Juliette Abigail Carr RN BSN is a clinical woman’s herb. The root is good in soups and good tea herbs that also make nice tinc- herbalist, teacher, and homesteader in rural you get the effects of the tea. Seeds can be tures—they’re in the middle of the water-al- 2. Pick the liquid concentration, 40% to Vermont. Contact her at oldwaysherbal.com/ collected for a strong diuretic medicine, but cohol solubility spectrum. 95%. blog or facebook.com/oldwaysherbal in the fall so we’ll skip it. Nettles: 75% Burdock 60% To make up a good recipe, we need to know Nettle is a cooling anti-inflammatory 3 things about our herbs: plant part, solubil- strength-builder that stimulates kidney ity, and fresh or dried. 3. Chop and weigh the herbs using ounces. function and cleanses the blood (alterative). This number is the 1st number in the ratio It’s used in tincture, tea, or food for a wide Plant part: Delicate parts like leaves and (the 1); let’s say the herbs weigh 4 oz. country grind #2 3 range of conditions of deficiency. Use it flowers tincture at a close ratio (1:2 to 1:4) for any deficient depression or exhaustion, 4. Multiply the weight of herbs by the second it’s a pleasure to offer a digest on the greater or stocky, thick-stemmed heavy producers— from the effects of an unseen poison, so madness. We’ve got room for succinct items, are bred to take advantage of surface inputs, watch out. just enough for you to remember why you such as regular water through irrigation, shagged it to the country, but not enough for and fertilizers, organic or otherwise. These Alright, frondeurs. I’m out. Be back you to get wise. plants make shallow root systems, as they next issue with more cheerful dispatches never have to reach beyond the top few from the front. In the mean time, make nice This is a rough one to start with, but farm inches of soil. They’re also bred for burly with the planet, hold each other fast, and punks can be lazy fucks too, so let me get stems that can handle the added weight of make time for living. it off my chest. Glyphosate, know what that intensely nitrogenized fruit. Hybrids are Grind on you crazy diamonds! is? Sure, Monsanto’s “Roundup” herbicide. I great for producing crops quickly, or with Hold Fast: Look. Pay attention. Hold on. worked in landscaping before, and the reps, predictable colors and sizes. What they Hold tight. the literature, all say how perfectly safe it is, aren’t great for is nurturing the biochemical It means to stop, but not only “breaks down into the soil in 90 minutes, needs of our bodies. that; to hold fast is to prepare, to brace, less on a hot day.” And you want to believe Heirloom vegetable varieties for a swelling breaker, for a fragmentation it; save the farmers a hassle, they can dump (at least, those strains that haven’t been blast, for the revocation of civil liberties, for it on the food crops, and ranchers can keep neglected by breeders due to weak market anything. To hold fast is to face the future the fence line clear and knock down thistles demand) and perennial plants tend to with awareness, and to be on the defensive. before haying time. naturally develop deep and far-spreading #2. Junk Wranglers It also means to get tough, to get Well, pilgrim, there’s something root networks as they search for water, sturdy for the hard blows, the cold nights, you might not know about this little labor- oxygen, and minerals. The greater the root Garbage, junk, rubbish, filth, clutter, re- the hard losses. saver. It’s fucking deadly toxic bad. It kills all system, the more macro- and micronutrients fuse... All of us dirty-ass humans make the things that support us in the food chain, the plant can import to the fruit. Also, with it, have it and want to be rid of it. And Spring is coming—fuck—what a rough worms, birds; it bio-accumulates in the meat more roots, a more extensive web of soil who’s going to take out the trash? You. winter. I saw that undergrowth of emerald and flows into the groundwater. Yes, Virginia, life flourishes, including mycorrhizal fungi, today, and felt the first warm breeze in four it is persistent in the environment, for years. beneficial bacteria, worms, springtails, Junk removal is an easy on the side business months. The grass held fast, springing to Glyphosate is an endocrine disruptor, with nematodes, and all manner of organisms that anybody with a truck and a driver’s li- life at the first opportunity, deeply rooted, DNA damage occurring at about five parts that aid plants in their functions and with ample resources in the soil. That grass per million. Environmental Protection maintain the volume of organic matter in cense (or not) can do to make some mon- is recovering from winter faster than I am. I Agency regulations allow livestock feed to the soil. Here’s the point: If you grow short- ey. Not to mention, people have some of the still feel tension in my core, that tightening- contain as much glyphosate as 400ppm. This rooted plants, you’re short-changing your most useful things hiding in their basements up from deep chill. We grin and bear it, chemical is the most widely used herbicide body. Our physical selves—particularly and garages just waiting for some dirty skid though the “bear-it” will give you a stiff back. in the world; it’s destabilizing ecosystems, the central nervous system and the great, with a rusted out truck to come take away But spring is coming, warmth is coming. but also affecting those that use it, as grey squishy—are evolved to utilize, and for them. What’s better then somebody pay- It doesn’t seem like it can be the suspected in the case of CKDu—Chronic desperately require, an expansive cocktail of ing you to go looking through the garbage? same place. In deep winter it’s a dead zone, Kidney Disease of unknown origin— nutrients, which long-rooted plants obtain snowdrifts and frostbite. In a few short which is a leading cause of death in India, from the deep, mineralized subsoil, and - You will need a truck and trailer. Again months there will be tomatoes and sun- Central America, and Sri Lanka, regions which meat animals accumulate through nothing fancy, just has to be able to get loving peppers thriving in a blistering, that embraced chemical-heavy industrial eating long-rooted plants. around without a breakdown. Trailers are humid heat, green things reaching up to agriculture in the 1960s, and will be paying If you do decide to grow hybrid the sun. For us, farm punk means cold for it for many, many years. Vague, what varieties, to squeeze in a fall planting of cheap in the country and you will need punk, or hot punk. Shivering under piles of do I mean by that? I’ll leave you with this fast-maturing carrots for example, call one that has sides. The truck box trail- blankets or peeling down to salty nothing last nugget on Roundup: it will affect your your seed company to make sure you’re not er you use for firewood is perfect for this. punk. Ridin’-out-storms and sometimes wet children’s children. Even if they never hear buying a product of the multinational tech punk. We’re part of what’s going on around of it, even if it’s banned next year, endocrine cartel: Monsanto, DuPont, BASF, Syngenta, - You need to spread the word. Printing us, without the means to insulate ourselves disruptors can reprogram gene expression; Land O’ Lakes, Cargill, Bayer… just a quick out cheap business cards and leaving them from seasonal changes. This lifestyle is they can fuck with the kids that your kids phone call to your distributor can ensure pinned on message boards in town is a good double-edged; a frustrating poverty that haven’t had yet. Despite some debate in the you’re not subsidizing industrial agriculture start. I have been known to bring a big nevertheless drives us to interact with scientific community that maybe ovarian or getting genetically modified seed. But marker and spray paint to the landfill to ad- the richness of the land, and rewards us follicles (the “eggs,” dude) can be coaxed out also, make sure you are incorporating high- vertise my junk removing. There is nothing with things beyond “value,” minerals and of stem cells, for all intents and purposes quality, mature compost—preferably full like a sharpie ad scribbled on an old fridge nutrients from deeply rooted gardens, time your grandma was right, a woman is born of red worms and fungal mycelium—when spent sweating and getting dirty, together— “with all of her eggs,” and also all the genetic transplanting or adding side dressing. at the dump to advertise your business. memories of grass and goats, sticks and material that will become the eggs of her Hybrids can’t reach down very far, so you mud, of running and bounding. daughter, and her daughter, and… get it? need to provide them with the best topsoil - Learn how to charge. The sooner that These chemicals are permanently screwing amendment available. you realize that a service to society is worth But when the ground freezes over, the up the gene pool. A further note on hybrid varieties: something, the better your life will be. The living things retreat from the surface and Why did I labor this point so they were bred in a lab or on a test-plot, term “you get what you pay for” fits in nice- hold fast. It’s easy to feel the chill when the heavily? Because in ignorance it’s so easy, not by open-pollination in the wild, so if ly here; somebody would question whether news is bad, and it’s been bad: net neutrality it’s cheap, it’s right there at the farm store, you save seeds from hybrids for next year’s you were any good at your job if you were defeated, coal slurry in Kentucky and West being bought by old-timers just looking for planting, they will not grow true to type; that charging too little. I have charged 95 loo- Virginia waterways; ag-gag going global, a break, and young bucks who don’t want is, if you plant a seed from an “Early Girl” nies per truck load, with customers smil- life sentences for homosexuals in Uganda, weeds in the gravel drive. Don’t be suckered, tomato, you won’t get an “Early Girl” tomato ing. That’s 190 bucks for a truck and trailer violence in Ukraine, and everywhere the friends. plant, chromosomes are funny that way. land raped by drillers desperately clinging to So you already knew about The resulting offspring won’t necessarily to the dump (customer pays the dump fee). fading dreams of easy petro profits. Roundup? Good for you, but I had to be “bad,” but it will be different. This fact, Don’t be scared to charge more if you can’t It’s cold outside. And that’s why we mention it, maybe that guy over there didn’t in and of itself, isn’t awful, but the way that drive close to the pile, or if you’re taking it hold fast, to each other, to home, to family, know. And look, if you need to engage seed companies protect and capitalize on out of a basement. Feel free to stop by con- to righteous indignation. Like grass on the someone—a neighbor, Gramps—about corporate intellectual property rights—you struction sites and ask to speak to the boss, ground, hold fast. synthetic herbicide use, do some cursory have to buy the seeds every year—creates a and drop him a business card. Can’t hurt. research and back yourself up with reliable commercial dependency. For many of us, the desire for the country data. On endocrine disruptors, check the To get more in depth on roots, keep - Make friends with the dump master. The is impelled to a large degree by noise. Not National Institute of Environmental Health an eye out for the Richard Manning article person that operates the dump is your new sound, not music or the grunts of fucking, Sciences site at niehs.nih.gov, or epa.gov; in the forthcoming June/July 2014 issue of best friend. If you can get on his good side, but noise. Talking, typing, honking, if the EPA admits it’s bad, you know we’re Mother Earth News, or be patient and it’ll get your scrounging rights are increased greatly text dings, mouse clicks, bus brakes, but already in bad shape. To learn more about put online eventually. mostly talking: vapid, tedious, duplicitous, glyphosate, search for it on the Union of Since I mentioned it, let me close and may be the key to your success. Be for- mindless, insipid, disingenuous blather, Concerned Scientists website at http://www. with a word on compost. Do it, because ward, bring them donuts and hot chocolate about everything and nothing, vague to the ucsusa.org (oh, did I mention the rise of the you can’t fuck it up. The natural tendency in the colder months, and a cold beverage in point of absurdity, or esoteric to the point of superweeds?), or just Google it and scroll of organic matter is to decay, and it will. the summer. You just might be able to bribe novelty. I’m sick of everyone’s everything. past the ads; the heinous cabal of marketing You can speed up the process with regular your way into a key for after hours picking. You ever feel that way? Well, out on the and rights-manipulation is transparent. turning and by balancing carbon, nitrogen farm, I don’t. So now that you’ve gone organic, and moisture, but you can also just throw - Keep your eyes peeled for things that can This solitude comes with a price— let’s talk about seeds. I don’t know when your plant matter in a hole in the ground, be worth some dollars. Removing the junk you get nothing for nothing—things fall you’re reading this; it’s March as I write, let nature run its course, maybe stir it once for somebody is only half the fun as you through the cracks, days and drama blow six weeks before average last frost for my or twice, and in time you will get quality WILL find things that you can sell private- around the world, with nary a shred of news county, and a lot of folks already bought compost with little effort. Compost is free, ly on the interweb. Don’t be scared to ask falling on my neverland; it’s easy not to care, seeds, browsing catalogs during the short, it is recycling, it’s keeping the miraculous “From ignorance our comfort flows, The cold days. The hardcore homesteaders molecules and microbes of life out of a the customer, “hey does this microwave only wretched are the wise.” picked theirs two years ago, when they sanitary landfill. Everybody, everywhere work?”. I have found wood stoves, con- This ignorance feels good, like were saving seed and selectively breeding should have their own pile of decay. It can struction heaters, TVs, tools, even campers. there is so much room inside for just me landrace vegetable varieties. But everyone be in a can, in a corral, just piled up for And I can guarantee you will find things and my thoughts. But ignorance is also is succession planting, right? Sowing a the chickens to sort through, or in a fancy that are needed around your farm or acre- the dominion of control, of corporations, handful of seeds every couple of weeks. No plastic compost house. Just remember age. I have charged folks to remove truck- of governments, of religions. It’s a place point in getting the entire harvest in at once; to keep out meats or poop from meat- loads of useful lumber only to transport it to grow fear, arrogance, and hate—weeds we’re spacing it out so there’s no waste. So, eaters, highly salty, fatty, or sugary foods directly back to the farm to use on my own that take root in uncultivated lands. As it we can try new things as the season goes (no Snickers), chemically treated wood building projects. Also keep a close watch happens, wading through the paddy fields of on: cold-hardy plants early in the year, and or wood chips, and anything treated with for antiques. They end up in the garbage news media, and caressing all the seeds of fast-flowering plants to get through summer an herbicide, like lawn clippings from the more often then not. If you think some- misinformation and propaganda is my day and fall, and finally cover crops to protect greenest yard in suburbia. That last one is job. Sailing these byways as matter of course, the topsoil through another brutal-ass important, and it can be a long chain. In one thing is an antique but aren’t sure, take it winter. For planning purposes, here’s some case, Purina horse feed contaminated with anyway. Stop by an antique dealer to ask. supplemental information on choosing clopyralid and picloram was fed to horses, , 4 plants. whose manure was left to mature, and then - Scrap metal. This is a whole oth- Spring 14 Hybrid veggies—be they fast- sold as compost—killer compost. Years after er ball of wax. Know your metals and growing varieties, or disease-resistant ones, the herbicide application, gardeners suffered what is worth what, because you will work with skip-tooth chain. I don’t like us- wood, which is hard on your saw’s engine, clean conditions. come across copper pipes from renova- ing a guide anymore, but it is probably good and causes increased vibration and kick- • Square-Chisel: Fastest cutting best per- tions, and other metals that belong in to start out with one to get consistent results. back potential. Don’t take more than 2-3 file forming chain, but very hard to hand-file. your scrap pile and not the local landfill. strokes off your rakers at one time. As they You pretty much need a fancy electric grind- Pile it up big in a spot in your yard, and wait for The key is to be patient and frequently touch start to get filed down flat, a way to reduce er that is for this type of chain. your stash to be big enough to cash in. Some up your cutters so they stay very sharp and vibration is to round off the fronts of them • Ripping Chain: For Milling scrap metal business will even pay and pick properly shaped. Be careful to keep your with 1 extra file stroke per raker; this returns • Skip-tooth & Semi-skip chain are some- it up for you. Any extra money helps, right? chain away from dirt, rocks, and ice; touch them to their original shape. Remember, if times used on bars over 24 inches. They do up often and you will rarely have to do a ma- the rakers are not all exactly the same, the not cut as smooth as regular (full comp.) - Act legit. Go to the dollar store and pick jor sharpening. chain will run very rough and it is also not chain, but take up less power and less time to yourself up a receipt book. Most if not all good for your saw. This is why the gauge/ sharpen. customers will want a receipt for the money You will need: guide come in handy. You should only be they pay. Get a couple magnets that say your Proper size Round file w/ handle (see the filing your rakers every 2-3 sharpenings. junk removal business to throw onto the side size chart below) of your truck; it’s a cheap way of looking pro. 6-inch Flat file Still Frustrated? Wear boots and coveralls and make sure you Once you get good at hand filing, you may have a pair of good gloves. Consider this You may also want: find yourself touching up new chains right your suit of armour and go to war against the Roller-style filing guide out of the box. This can also be good prac- dreaded dump pile. Keep a few face masks in Depth gauge (raker) checking gauge tice getting used to filing at the perfect angle the truck in case you come across anything Gloves and safety glasses while keeping your file perfectly flat (square nasty. The nastier the better; more money for with the sides of the bar and parallel with RESTORING THE ACADIAN FOREST you. Charge a tonne more for dirty-ass stuff Positioning: the ground). You can check your work by that nobody in their right mind will touch. For small saws I set the saw down and file looking at each cutting edge and seeing if it from the side. For medium and big saws my is sharp all the way across, or if you are miss- Obviously I never got rich on any of my favorite way is to put the saw on a big log, ing a spot by not holding the file flat. In this issue, I wanted to write about the schemes, but if you’re persistent, you can bench or tailgate, and sit behind it then lean unique bio-region that I am blessed to live make a decent amount of money doing a over the saw and file from the top. This way Touching up a chain is a lot less frustrating in, called the Acadian Forest. The Acadian few of these things on the side. And may- you can see what you are doing really well, than trying to bring a really dull chain back Forest covers much of Canada’s Maritime be you will find that one of these money as you hold both ends of the file and keep it to life. I recommend getting plenty of extra Provinces (Nova Scotia, New Brunswick & makers will make its way into a REAL busi- nice and level. You can also put the bar in a round files and retiring them to general use Prince Edward Island), parts of America’s ness venture. All it takes is a little thought, vise but be careful not to damage it. once they are past their prime for chainsaw northern New England area & some north- and the guts to go out and do it. Good sharpening. It is really frustrating trying to eastern areas of Quebec. It is the transition luck and may the dump force be with you. Cutters: sharpen a saw with a worn out file. When I ground between two larger bio-regions: the It is important to get every cutter really am running saws all day, I will grab a new Boreal Forest to the north, & the Northern “One man’s junk is another man’s paycheck” sharp and at the exact correct angle. Most round file at least every other day. Raker Hardwood Forest to the south. The Acadian HB chains have marks on the top of the cutters files (flat files) will last a lot longer, but I do Forest has pleasing elements of both of its to show you the angle. Half the cutters are retire mine early and use them for dressing larger neighbours. It is a mix of hardwood & facing right and the others are facing left. bar rails. softwood trees that creates a blend of 32 spe- You want to go around the whole chain fil- cies that are found together, nowhere else, ing the same direction (every other cutter), leaving one of the most diverse temperate then go back around the chain filing the cut- forests in the world. This beautiful region is ters you skipped, which are facing the other where my family & I call home. direction. Initially, our plan for purchasing land was All About Chainsaw Chains by Henry Carr to only look into ‘private sale’ properties. A kind of ‘rent to own’ land agreement with an When I first started working in the woods I individual. No realtors involved & very little would get in a big hurry and run my chain legal cost. until it was DULL. This turns sharpening into a chore, overheats your bar and chain, Our interest in purchasing a landscape that and overworks you and your saw’s engine. would be perhaps unsavory to other buy- Plus it’s dangerous, like cutting with a dull ers turned out to make things easier. Rea- knife. If your chainsaw is making sawdust sons would include clear cuts, un-managed instead of chips, it is very dull. woodlots, dilapidated buildings, abandoned infrastructure, or even land that was just Chainsaw chain has drive links (“drivers”) ‘undeveloped’ for the modern home. The on the bottom, which are driven by a re- idea that you can buy very low cost property, placeable sprocket, which is driven by the & with a lot of back ache, and a little heart engine through a centrifugal clutch. On top Grab your round file. You want to file just File size is determined by chain pitch: ache, re-hab a fleeting eco-system back to there are cutters and depth gauges (“rak- deep enough into the gullet (applying pres- • Small Saw: 3/8” low-profile chain -- uses health, while creating a home for yourself, ers”), which determine how deep the cutters sure down and back towards you) so that 5/32” round file (4.0mm) was very appealing. bite into the wood. The vertical distance be- you can then file straight upward against the • Medium Saw: .325” chain -- uses 3/16” tween your cutters and rakers must be uni- cutting edge, without your file popping out round file (4.8mm) We researched properties for months. form throughout the chain. This distance from under the cutting edge. Finish with • Regular/Big Saw: 3/8” chain -- uses 7/32” We made calls & did math. After months can be checked with a cheap gauge. You 2-4 gentle strokes filing up against the cut- round file (5.5mm) (OR 13/64”) of homework, & finding a property that want your rakers a little bit lower for soft- ting edge. Only file on the push stroke and • Big Saw: .404” chain -- uses 7/32” round seemed to fit our needs, we found what we woods and a bit higher for hardwoods and don’t drag the file back across the chain on file (5.5mm) were looking for. The seller was interested frozen wood. the pull stroke. Don’t push too hard, and in a realtor-free, short-term, low-cost pay- rotate the file as you go to make it last lon- Gauge (width of drive links): ment plan of 2.5 years. The neighbours ger. As it starts to get clogged with shavings, • Common gauges are .050” .058” .063” knew a bit about the history of the property. gently tap it clean by tapping the tip of the • Most common is .050” We knew it was almost 6 acres & that it had file on something. been logged for its hardwood stands a few Chain/Bar Length is Measured by Drive decades prior & then had simply been given If you make your cutters too toothy by cut- Links: up on. But that was about all we knew. My ting your gullets too deep, they will dull eas- (These examples are for 3/8” pitch chain) wonderful folks made a trip out to see the ily in hard wood. If you make them hooked • 18” bar = 68 Drivers parcel, but much of it was snow covered. The by using too much of an angle, they will cut • 20” bar = 72 Drivers long distance purchase was intimidating & too aggressively, and the tips will quickly get • 24” bar = 84 Drivers my father gave me a verbal disclaimer that bent in. he bared no responsibility if it turned out to Note: The bar and chain must be the same be a swamp. We knew it had trees & that it “Safety chain” has beefed up raker designs Rakers: pitch, gauge and length, but the sprocket was on the local school’s bus route. So, al- to reduce kickback but does not perform as If you are new to hand filing, file the cut- only needs to be the same pitch. Most bars though it seemed crazy, we went for it. We well, and it’s more difficult to file the rakers ters first, then check the rakers with a gauge have a stamp which looks something like sealed the deal & it was ours. properly. It often has a green label. “Profes- before filing the rakers. Once you get some this: 3/8 .050 72DL sional” chain is easier to file the rakers, and practice setting your rakers by “feel,” you In the middle of June we packed our con- gives better cutting performance, especially may prefer to file your rakers first so you Choosing the right chain for the job: the verted 1986 Chevy bus & began our great for bore-cutting/plunge-cutting. It often has don’t slip and dull your cutters with your most important part of productive cutting is family migration home. Two adults, one a yellow warning label. raker file. Use about a 6 inch flat file for your knowing what kind of chain you need. The child, one dog, two cats & all our essentials. rakers. Do the rakers with the same pattern main difference between these types is the Let’s just say I was in good company, with My advice is to get good at hand sharpening going around the chain twice, filing each shape of the cutters and different filing an- those on board! with files, and avoid the cheap electric chain raker in the same direction as you would file gles. Upon arrival we were surprised just how big grinders; only the good ones are really worth its cutter. If you make a loud squeak you are • Semi-Chisel: Best for general woods work almost 6 acres looked, what we could see of it. There are many hand-filing guides avail- filing a raker in the wrong direction. I like to and firewood cutting. Easy to sharpen and it anyhow. We found a tangled, wounded able, and a lot of them don’t work very well. file rakers from a side view instead of from the most tolerant of dirty and frozen wood. “Roller guides” work well as a guide for filing the top. Be cautious how much you take off • Full-Chisel: Cuts faster than semi-chis- country grind #2 5 both your cutters and rakers. You need one at once – if you take your rakers down too el but is a little harder to sharpen properly specific to your chain size and they won’t far, your cutters will bite too deep into the and dulls easier. Good all-around chain for woodland. We tried walking the parcel but it our trees well. ing wild around the old garden site. Ours I’””d Tap that seemed to envelope us in branches & thick- was. Cut a bit of the top off, and plant it in ets at every step. And there was the water. The main concern though, is the fallen trees loose soil a few inches below the surface. Pools that seemed to simply appear without & the trees yet to fall. The trees growing You can do this in the spring or fall. To re- An Introduction to warning. In the Acadian Forest ‘vernal’ pools back, un-naturally, have no age diversity. plant after harvesting, cut the side roots and Birch Sap Harvest are common. They create mini eco-systems Keeping some dead stand trees is important, the bottom of the main root off, and replant for small life forms. The rouge pools didn’t especially with the unique species of wood- the same way. Make sure not to overplant By Cat Meow appear to be them! We didn’t know, then, the peckers & owls that live in the Acadian For- your cuttings, as they spread quickly and can cause for the strange pooling, but it turned est. But with selective felling of the danger- take over an area if they are allowed to grow For many, the oncoming spring is highly out to be clogged road culverts from the ous trees, we plan to plant small saplings of unchecked. The roots grow fast and deep, anticipated. The increasing daylight, the Transport Dept. Because of the mismanage- native trees to revitalize the healthy diversity with the main taproot easily reaching over melting snow and proliferation of fauna are ment, the trees were damaged, waterlogged of our area. 20 inches long and a few inches thick in just all signs that life is stirring. In flora, xylem and phloem tissues act as a system of arter- & dangerous. a few years. Horseradish doesn’t require a We arrived last spring to a woodland in dis- ies, veins and capillaries. Sap production lot of attention at all. It does fine without Investigating the property turns up two no- tress. Sadly this unique bio-region of this becomes more active in the thaw, circulat- constant watering and its large leaves help it table surprises: one was a hand dug well & particular forest has been destroyed all over ing thisa rich blood through the trunk and shade out weed competition effectively. the other was a pretty large, dilapidated cab- our region to a drastic degree for hundreds branches. This life gives us life. This plant interacts with plants and animals in. Walking the property, we learned where of years, with very few native & old growth in the garden in a myriad of beneficial ways. We are historically indebted to tree sap. it had been logged and where a small clear- stands left. Over time & with a lot of hard Its large taproot has great benefits to the Spruce trees have bled to provide us with a ing had stood, around the cabin & well. Our work, proper drainage, selective harvesting plants and soil around it. The root pushes salve that solves almost any skin problem, a first job was to uncover the forgotten drive- of injured/foreign trees & replanting native down far into the soil, and breaks up hard resin that can patch and hold together any- way for room to park the bus. Many of the stands, we can begin the layout for a re- thing from boats to gum boots, and even a soil that smaller annual plant roots can’t trees were too small for the use of a chain- newed Acadian Forest for all its inhabitants. good-for-your-gut medicine that inspired penetrate. This gives the smaller rooted the modern amenity that is chewing gum saw, so hand tools became our best friends. Our bus has proved to be a wonderful & plants an opportunity to feed on previously (latex from chicle and jelutong trees is used Just being in the forest without the noise of challenging home in our little forest. Slow- unavailable nutrients that are further down today in production). Hevea brasilinesis, or power tools gave us an amazing perspective ly, we have made actions toward our goal of in the soil. While breaking up the soil, the the Para rubber tree, has been tapped for of the wild life all around us. seeing this unique bio-region flourish. Liv- taproot is bringing up those trace minerals thousands of years and has helped to fuel Another aspect that I have been learning ing on the bus has allowed us to save money and nutrients to the surface into its leaves. our current obsession with polymers. Aloe about is how to promote a healthy environ- which we put towards tools, development, Those leaves then fall around the plant and Vera, for the succulent’s soothing and me- ment for the wildlife in the area. We have a building costs & our land payments. We act as a good quality fertilizing mulch. We dlairc icnoaml msapo,d iitsy .a M vaepnleer asbylreu pa nids anno wex cpeollpeun-t robust population of rabbit, red fox, black have learned so much about how the ani- can further help those hungry little annu- sweetener that comes from the xylem of bears & coywolves; it is a good sign when mals & eco-systems of the land function by als by speeding up this process and cutting various species of maple. It’s difficult not to the area can sustain large mammals. But the observing through the seasons. So now as the leaves of the horseradish plant before appreciate all of these plants who have lent region is also home to unique native species the snow melts, we continue with our wood- they would naturally fall, and using them us their blood. of frogs, snakes, squirrel, owls, bats & birds. land ‘re-hab’ & also with our small home as mulch around needier plants to help sup- Many of these smaller species are endan- construction project, which is a whole dif- press weeds and get nutrients to the plant. When you are living off the land, there is one gered (sadly, like many of the plant, shrub & ferent story! Another great use for the leaves is as a pest promise spring brings that possibly eclipses confuser. As it is a brassica like cabbage or all else in terms of anticipation: that of sug- tree species). Promoting these small animals FUN FACT: The Acadian Forest homes 32 broccoli, the same pests will be attracted to ar. Here in the North Slave region, where the through fell logs, rock piles &bat/bird boxes spring comes slowly, our first taste of glu- species of trees- 10 of these are far more rare: it, leading them away from your other crops. is a focus of our work as well. cose/sucrose comes from a beautiful, decid- BASSWOOD Horseradish should be harvested in the fall uous tree: the birch. In the 60’s & 70’s, the area of Maryvale, BLACK CHERRY just after the leaves have died off. You won’t where our land is located, was famous for BUTTERNUT be able to pull it out by hand, so use a pitch- If you are interested in tapping birch trees to draft dodgers & back to the landers. Many IRONWOOD (dibs on band name*) fork or shovel to loosen the soil around it. harvest sap, there are a few methods avail- illegal Americans moved there and started BUR OAK Once you’ve pulled it up, you can place some able to you and a few things you need to new lives. Many still do. We learned that the RED ASH cuttings right back in the hole, and keep the know about the tree itself. Maple harvesters, cabin had no documentation & according to SILVER MAPLE patch going for next year. The root is best you deal with a much different kind of tree neighbours, had once homed a small family BLACK ASH used fresh. If you want to store some, they and the methods I will outline differ slightly from your own. of “hippies”. Some folks told us of the hang WHITE ELM can be kept in sand like carrots for a while. outs and parties that had gone on there. It SERVICEBERRY Now for the best part: how to devour this Birch sap starts running when the thaw hits would seem as though we chose just the delicious plant. Both the root and leaves of and before the buds open; for that reason, right spot. the horseradish are edible. The young leaves timing is key in collection. Sap becomes less can be used raw in salads or cooked like any sweet, cloudy and sour after awhile, making One important aspect about becoming ru- mustard greens, fried up with bacon, etc. it less palatable and not fit for reducing into ral is not bombarding into pristine spaces. They have a bit of the horseradish flavor to syrup or tea. To those who received this ar- In many instances, the damage caused by them, but not the strong bite the roots have. ticle too late, I am sorry and hope you can humans cannot be forgotten so easily by They have also been used in pickles to keep save this issue for next spring! the forest. Our property is a good example the cucumbers crunchy. The root can be Contrary to harvesting maple, the sap we of this in many ways. Since the harvesting used to make sauces, which are delicious on harvest from birch runs upwards instead of of lumber 30 years prior, the trees were left By Ian Petrie any sort of meat. The easiest sauce is just: down. When using spigots, the holes need as is. This seems like this would be a good 1 cup peeled and cubed horseradish to be drilled on the bottom face instead of thing? The problem is that the trees have Horseradish ¾ cup white vinegar the top. On the side of the tree that is shad- grown too tall, competing for light. They Salt to taste ed during the hottest part of the day, drill a fight for sun, clashing at the canopy. Their (Armoracia Rusticana) Brassicaceae family Blend that together, let it sit for a day or two half inch hole (either with a battery or hand trunks are bare & narrow, with no branches, Horseradish, most commonly known for its until it’s reached full flavor and ready to operated tool) on a slight upward incline using their energy in competition with each use in sauces, is a great perennial plant that eat. You can also add this to other sauces into the tree at about three to four feet off the ground, or around waist level. The hole other. All over the Acadian Forest, humans has a variety of uses in any garden. Let’s get to make them more awesome (horseradish should be just deep enough that the spigot have created a situation where the forest to know this often overlooked root a little bit mayo)! Remember to use proper caution seals tightly when tapped in. Other options was growing against itself. The thick canopy better! when handling and processing horseradish, for harvesting are to cut a branch and leave above limits light from a healthy forest floor, Horseradish has a long and rich history of it is HOT and WILL burn your eyes/nose/ a glass jar to fill (this is only for drinking too. Often in a natural forest you have fall- being cultivated by many different cultures other parts like a hot pepper sauce. straight sap, as you will not collect enough en trees creating small pools for micro-life, in many regions all over the world. Orig- All in all, this wonderful, tasty, for syrup this way), or cut a hole and use but when you have stumps they often cre- inally native to somewhere around eastern low-maintenance plant makes a great addi- a clean stick to lead the sap into a bucket. ate still-water depressions. In our forest the Europe, it has spread all over Europe and tion to any garden. If you have any ques- Your ideal yield is using a spigot; you can mismanaged & bulldozed areas are inhib- North America, as well as into northern Af- tions please email me at ianspetrie@gmail. collect an average of one to two litres of sap a day (sometimes more) with this method. iting an underground spring. Many trees rica. There are records of it being cultivated com. have been over saturated & are now at risk in Egypt as far back as 1500 BC. This column will be back next is- It is immensely important that everything for rotting of the crown & root rot. Branches Cultivating horseradish is pretty simple. It’s sue with another overlooked perennial plant be as clean as possible when tapping your are clashing & injuring each other, cracking hardy from zone 2 to 9, and can be cultivated profile. If you have a favourite perennial tree, as birch are very sensitive trees and are off, creating ‘hang-ups’: broken limbs that in higher zones than that, but does better if that you grow, feel free to write a piece about prone to bacterial infection. Wipe the bark hang dangerously. The old expression ‘Wid- there is a cold winter dormancy period. To it. with hydrogen peroxide, dip your drill tip ow Maker’, a large piece of dead tree ready start a patch, buy a root cutting from a gar- in hydrogen peroxide and rinse your spig- to fall in a gentle breeze, describes many of den center or nursery, or just buy an organic ots with hydrogen peroxide. Did I mention horseradish root from a farmer’s market or everything needs to be covered in hydrogen , 6 Spring 14 grocery store. If you’re in an area with old peroxide? If you are afraid of contamination, letting the sap run out of your spigot for a homesteading sites, it might just be grow- few minutes will wash the peroxide out. A THOUSAND DEAD FINGERS TO THE SKY Then comes my favourite part of harvest season: collection. Every morning, you must An Essay about Silence and Fear in Rural Homesteading collect the sap that has been pooling in your buckets. Again, this guideline is imperative because of how sensitive the trees are. If you By Adam Gnade I listened to a lot of music. Heavy sludge on nice guy and a great tenant. leave a tree for a day, you risk infection. Un- big headphones plugged into the phone in like maple harvest, you can’t siphon all of My first night alone it got so quiet I could my pocket to cancel out the quiet. Wolves in “I’d drive by one day and he would have him your sap into one container all at once. Each hear the Feds outside creeping through the the Throne Room’s Diadem of 12 Stars. Old and his whole family out paintin’ the house,” tree should have a bucket (we use white 1-2 grass and loading their guns. (The clack of Black Dice before they got trippy. Swans. our landlord told us. “Wouldn’t ask me, gallon pails, washed in bleach and rinsed thoroughly) so that you can spot infections a clip slapped into a rifle in advance of the Godspeed. Swing Kids. Cattle Decapita- didn’t need to, just got the paint themselves immediately without risking contaminating raid, KAK! A bolt pulled back then snapped tion. Lungfish. Records like that were just as and got it done. There was a dozen of ‘em your daily yield. We pour good sap through into place). I could hear a fire starting in the good as a gun on your hip. They gave you out there. I just said, ‘You do what you gotta a strainer into 5 gallon pails and seal them woods to the north. I could hear Esteban confidence, back-up. Push out the fear with do!’ Never invited me in for any of that good for transportation. the cartel hitman pulling into the drive; his white-squal. Tamp down the loneliness with smellin’ food but they was awright.” tires crunching on the gravel, slow, then the music like great tectonic plates crashing to- What do these infections look like, you ask? engine shutting off ... silence, crickets, cica- gether and shaking the earth. All that changed one night when Esteban The first and most benign is the appearance das, frogs. Then Esteban climbing out of his got drunk in town and killed a man in an ar- of mold-like black spots that don’t move truck (driver-side door slamming) to break That was the first spring after Jessie, Thad, gument at one of the terrible bars near Fort when you swish the bucket around (some people confuse bugs, etc. for this mold). It is in and shoot me in my bed and dig up his and I left Portland. We found the house in Leavenworth. The police pulled him over on easy enough to get rid of- dump the sap and cartel money and haul ass back to New Mex- February driving down the penitentiary the drive back to the house and now he’s a wash the bucket and spigot with hot water ico. I could hear ghosts of old orchard farm- road on a snowy day. The place wasn’t cared- few minutes up the road serving a “hard fif- and bleach. You will be able to collect sap the ers and ring snakes under the floorboards for but it wasn’t rundown. Three acres—a ty” sentence. Fifty years, no chance of parole. next day. The second is the most devastating; and a wolf killing the sheep and cancer triangle of grassland between hills—a small a cloud of pink will sit at the bottom of your bubbling in my guts like hydrogen peroxide white clapboard farmhouse, a barn that had Jessie named the place “The Hard Fifty bucket, forcing you to pull the tree and mark in a rotten sore. Sometimes it got so quiet I been turned into a garage then converted Farm” our first week here and now we think it to prevent retapping. On especially hot could hear myself dying; meat on the slow back to a barn. Below us and to the north, kindly of the man—the man whose hand- days, just as a safeguard, bring bleach water pull-back from bone that takes decades, the cattle pasture, and beyond that, a lake you print (along with the handprints of his fam- and rinse water with you to clean out buck- ets. You’ll be glad you did. loosening of all things like a low heat barbe- could see between the orchard trees—a sil- ily) lies set in the cement slab of our goat cue until the body gives up the spark. very flat shimmer like a hot dime when the paddock; the man who appeared like a ghost If you want, you can keep sap chilled and sun was high. In the winter, a forest of bare (his initials anyway) finger-drawn in the drink it. It is incredibly clean tasting, and I heard all of that and I heard nothing. Noth- trees, black and cadaverous, a thousand steam of the bathroom mirror during my to those with a sensitive palate, a little bit ing. Dead silent, not a breath of wind. It was dead fingers to the sky. In summer, the kind first hot shower. sweet. You can also boil down the sap un- the kind of quiet where you get stir-crazy of green that blinds you. til it is an amber colour to make a warm, and your imagination goes black metal and These days he “keeps the best cell in the sweet drink called birch tea. Most often, you’re “sure” of a lot of “things.” It was idyllic in the classic sense of the block” according to a guard our landlord however, large stands collect sap to pro- word—vigorous, lush and alive with things knows, but in the beginning I was sure he duce birch syrup. This isn’t a very easy thing to produce on a small scale, as the ratio is Of course there was no one out there and we didn’t get from the city: lightning bugs was picking the lock on the front door/pull- 100:1 as opposed to 60-40:1 for maple syr- of course I was safe and in a good place but rising like tiny glowsticks from the weeds ing up the drive with a head full of speed/ up. That is, it takes around 100 litres of at every shift in the silence I leapt from bed near the ditch; frogs and toads of all sizes waiting in my hall closet with a meat cleaver/ birch sap to produce a single litre of syrup. and opened the window and stood there after the first good rain; great fist-size moths tapping on the kitchen window with the bar- with my shitty broken rifle, shaking a little; like dusty owls spread across the windows rel of his pistol on one of those dark damn Birch syrup is an excellent addition to bak- just a little—because with the window open by dusk. But at night, alone, it got to me. nights where you see nothing in the window ing, can be worked into butter for a delicious and the spring air coming in—balmy, the but your own reflection and the yellow lights bannock spread, can be used to start an ale grassy smell of brome hay and the lake—I The backstory of the previous tenant had a of the room around you. or mead (I suggest using the last syrup of the knew I was fine. But you get paranoid. You lot to do with that. Esteban Garcia Viscal, a season) and is an excellent addition to meats (birch bacon, rosemary and birch deer stake, get dumb. That’s what I told Bart and Rich cartel hitman on the lam up from Albuquer- Now we find 9mm shells in the grass and fish, etc). in letters: que, wanted on multiple homicides, hiding joke about where in the field “the bodies out in Leavenworth County with his family. are buried” but at first it wasn’t so funny. Try not to weep when the buds on the trees To Rich: “Everybody’s in DC for the Animal Tonight I’m alone like I was before but the are opening and the sap starts to sour; you Rights Conference and I’m here alone and Our landlord liked the guy. Told us his quiet doesn’t get to me. My new shotgun—a will notice a drop in your yield. The sea- the quiet sets my mind racing. I’m gettin’ wife was always cooking “some kinda good beautiful black 320 Savage Arms/Stevens son is coming to a close. As each bucket buggy. Cabin Fever Part VII: Silent Night, smellin’ Messican food on the stove” and 12-gauge—sits in the corner by my writing becomes cloudy, pull your trees and seal Gory Night.” that they kept the place up and paid rent six table unthought of and the thing that scares the holes (we use tapered corks). Don’t for- months in advance. In cash. me most is the idea of moving back to the get to give each one a thank you and a big hug. Trees can be tapped consecutively, And Bart: “I have to keep the big ‘70s head- city where we wouldn’t have quiet this pure but give them breaks over a season or two. phones on all the time blasting The Locust Esteban painted the inside of the house— and dark and pond-deep. It’s not even cour- ~ or Fuck Buttons or something to stop my blue sky and white cartoon clouds on the age that gets me through the night anymore; Happy tapping! If you have any questions imagination from getting the best of me. I’ve door leading to the attic bedroom, a calming this is my place and I know it’s my place and or need any help, you can reach me at: gotta drown it out. It’s spooky out here. I’m nursery blue and chicken yellow in the so- because of that I sleep well and my night- [email protected] spooked.” larium that would become my bedroom. A mares are just bad movies. country grind #2 7 Community is a lie, until you make it otherwise. (or, reasons to talk to your racist neighbours and join the local quilting guild) By Celeste Inez Mathilda there’s someone in my punk community means you’ve got someone to pull your with my sketchy neighbours puts me in that i never talk to or interact with, it’s truck out of the ditch, sell you good cheap an excellent position to challenge that There’s been a lot of interesting meaningless to say we share a community, eggs, help you fix stuff when it breaks, etc. sketchiness. What i mean by this is if you debate about community in recent years. because we don’t have much of a relationship Try to foster friendly relationships say something racist and a stranger calls Some people think it’s the most important with one another. We go to the same shows. with people you interact with regularly. In you on it, it’s easy not to take that stranger life-line we have, and some think it doesn’t That’s not the same as being part of a shared small towns, the person at the post office/ seriously. But if your neighbour who you really exist. Is a community a subculture community, although it can be the starting library/grocery store/garbage dump is going see regularly, who sometimes walks your (ie crust-punks, radical queers, crud- point for interpersonal connections. to remember you if you go there more than dog for you and who gives you homemade goths, propane punx, or whatever)? Or is once. Be kind to them, and they’ll probably pickles and jams, questions your racism, it geographical, your neighbourhood and Second, relationships are almost be kind to you. This won’t replace the like- you’ll be more likely to reconsider your your neighbours? Can it be purely political? always intentional. Sometimes we end up minded folks you used to hang out with in opinion. (To take this point a little further, Can it exist on the internet? Can there be being friends with someone because they cities, but it will help you feel less alienated i actually think it can sometimes be self- overlapping types of communities? And, really want to be friends with us, sometimes and alone. righteous and questionable to call out the most relevant for us, how do you find it’s because we’re really drawn to them, and Maintain long-distance actions or opinions of someone you don’t community in rural areas? ideally it’s mutual. If neither of us is making relationships with your non-local even know, without understanding or an effort to reach out to the other person, communities, ie city folks, faraway folks or acknowledging the context. It has the reek Many a zine/article/comic/etc has we’ll probably just go to the same shows and online folks. Write letters to the punx and of vanguardism, or “converting the masses” been written about the betrayal of assumed not know when the other person’s depressed weirdos. Use the facebooks or the tumblrs if or some other dogmatic, hierarchical, community. For example, consider the or dealing with an abusive partner, etc. So if you’re into that. Go visit them, or better yet, pretentious ickiness. It has the feeling bliss of first entering the punk community, we don’t form relationships with each other, offer those city punx the chance to escape of prioritizing your ideological cause the reassuring epiphany that yes, there are intentionally, it’s hard to have a community their urban hellhole and convince them to over, well, real living people. Dangerous people out there who are just like you, who that will support us when we need it. come visit you. territory! (I say this while recognizing that eat garbage like you do, fix their clothes with Develop interests that you can some things are simply unacceptable, and dental floss like you do, like punk rock or Okay, now before we go any further share with the locals. Join the small-town- some statements do need to be met with folk punk etc like you do, DIY everything let’s be clear that when a community fails library book club. Join the quilting guild. an uncompromising “that’s racist/sexist/not like you do, hate capitalism and hierarchy to support someone, we’re not blaming the Get involved in the town council. Volunteer okay/etc.”)) Anyway, having relationships and oppression just like you do, etc. So we go survivor or the victim. The people who are at the pet shelter or the food bank. Most with normal people, and even sketchy to the same shows as all these other punks, most in need of support from their friends small towns have these kinds of options or people, is very helpful, and sometimes dumpster dive and ride bikes together, drink and community are often the ones least able similar ones. necessary, if you want to push those people 40s on the stoop together. Then someone to reach out. Our role, as decent human to unlearn their bad behaviours. This is gets depressed, feels marginalized or gets beings, and especially as punx, (solidarity, Okay, so what about radical what i mean by “wonderful opportunity.” abused by their partner, and whoops, no one mutual aid, etc.) is to try and reach out to community? What about the struggle Okay, so that all sounds like a lot seems to care. That person just disappears those people when they need it. for social change? If you start spending of work, and maybe more ass-kissing and from the so-called community, and no one all your time quilting with grannies and compromise than we’d ideally like. This is takes the time to check on and support Moving forward: If we want to set discussing John Grisham novels with retired sort of true. But if you’re living in a rural them, because we’re all too busy going to ourselves up for maximum wellbeing and schoolteachers, are you just going to slip into area with few truly like-minded allies, you shows and drinking 40s, etc. support, so that we’ve got some sense of complacency and stop trying to improve the might find it worth a bit of compromise, community if we feel lost or need help, it’s world around you somehow? And don’t the because we’re humans and (most) humans There are lots of counter-examples a good idea to nurture relationships with neighbours have kind of sketchy politics need a feeling of community. to this. Sometimes that person who’s dealing other people. In cities we often default to sometimes? These are valid concerns, and And, you’d be surprised at how with depression, feeling marginalized or people who share our interests, for many yep, in my experience, the neighbours are progressive the retired schoolteachers at the dealing with an abusive partner gets good reasons. They are more likely to have things usually racist or poorphobic or transphobic local bookclub can be. You’d be surprised support from their community. Knowing in common with us. They are easiest to get or homophobic or vaguely sexist, etc. Here at how inspiring it can be to join a quilting that someone has your back, believes you, to know, since we already go to the same is where you are presented with a challenge guild and surround yourself with capable, believes in you, thinks your feelings are shows, etc. They are less likely to be shitty and a wonderful opportunity. Some things experienced, intelligent women. You’d be valid and helps to protect your wellbeing is (ie racist, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, to consider: surprised at what you learn from the post really helpful. Having allies who you can insert other ignorant discrimination here You can meet different needs in office employee just by talking to them once trust and talk to, or people who share your (okay, this is not always true but we hope it’ll different ways. You need radical friends, so in a while. You’d be surprised at what you convictions and ideals, or someone to call be true…)). We are surrounded by lots of stay in touch with them however you can can learn from the old folks in town about when you’re upset, is precious. The value people in cities, and so we can afford to be when they’re not near you, and try to visit picking berries, fixing trucks, brewing wine, of friends who can help you move forward picky. them sometimes. You also need friends that gardening and local history, just to name a from emotional distress or physical violence you see regularly in person, and this is why few things. It’s honestly really interesting to is beyond any kind of measure. These are In rural areas, these rules change. you make friends with your neighbours. get to know all kinds of people who you’d things that community can offer. No one in my town even knows what a My experience is that the never have even talked to back in the city, punk is. People seem to think i’m some neighbours aren’t usually all of the kinds of and hear their stories and what they’ve got So, what’s the difference between kind of dark-clad hippie. So who should sketchy. For example, my nearest neighbour to teach you. And while you’re hearing and these two types of situations and what can i create relationships with? Going back to is racist, but she totally gets gay rights and learning all this, you’ll be developing the we learn from this as rural punks? our multiple, overlapping definitions of mental health. Her attitudes towards first relationships that might help pull you out of community, here are some suggestions: nations folks make me uncomfortable, but a depression if it happens, or offer support First, that community is a network it reassures me to know that she, a more or if your partner is abusive, or help you find of relationships. It’s arguable that community First, try to foster relationships with less average retired lady, respects gay folks allies, etc. You never know where that help doesn’t exist, in the sense that what we neighbours and people in your geographical and understands that mental illness is a real will come from, but building relationships is call community is actually just a series, area, whether they’re radical or not. Having illness. a way to lay the groundwork so it can arrive. or tangle, of one-on-one relationships. If a good relationship with your neighbours Now, having an actual relationship Rural living can be hard as fuck at times. By Anne T. State need before returning home with a fresh, relationships/community are vital to our ru- tween a comrade and myself out here is hel- perhaps more thought-out perspective that ral existence, meaning we need to create sol- la hard! There’s nowhere to run to, so shit Rural living can be hard as fuck at times. will hopefully resolve whatever the issue id resistance to bullshit in the ways we relate needs to be sorted directly so the balance of Not only for the obvious reasons like colder was between them and their comrade(s). to one another, because each other is all we our rural collective living can continue. Al- weather to contend with, etc, but also because As rural punks we often don’t have the op- have out here. In my opinion, rural folks al- though those direct discussions can be ex- one has to really work at building/maintain- portunity to take space as we need it. Even ready have a better sense of what communi- cruciating at times, learning to give as well ing solid relationships in more direct ways if we’re ‘lucky’ enough to have a vehicle, it’s ty can look like. Where I live, I have amazing as receive critical feedback is essential to the – especially when living collectively in the likely too shitty out to drive anywhere, not to bonds with our neighbours yet I have very solid foundations of our relationships. We country. Being the strong-willed radicals mention how much gas we’d have to use to little in common with them. However, what can disagree with another’s position/opinion we are, it’s hard to take space we need when get anywhere anyhow. Space is hard as fuck really matters is knowing that you’re around but the ability to hear and accept criticisms involved in a conflict with our housemates/ to come by in the country. folks who genuinely give a shit about you, of our actions and/or words is vital to main- comrades. I know that must sound absurd to and will be there in a pinch to lend a hand taining open and meaningful dialogues. As city-centric folks, who equate living rurally Building solid relationships has never been with any project or problem you’re tasked hard as it can be to hear less than favourable with having more space, but having a few so vital to my survival before moving to the with. It’s this kind of concrete foundation feedback about ourselves, it can also bring acres doesn’t do us any good in -300 C weath- sticks. In the city there was always a room I tried to develop with so-called comrades us closer -- knowing our relationships can er 4-6 months of the year. Instead we’re stuck opening up in a punk house or a comrade’s in the city but could never seem to accom- handle real honesty. With nowhere to run to in a house and up in each other’s space with couch to surf; the foundations of my rela- plish. I never expected to find camaraderie we have to face our fears, allowing ourselves nowhere to escape. It’s easier in the city. If tionships, though I never realized it at the with folks who weren’t particularly critical to be vulnerable at times, if we’re going to urbanites get into shit with someone and time, were never that solid – because they of the system, but it happened nonetheless. survive the isolation of this farmed wild. feel they need to step back to process, they didn’t have to be. There was always a dis- Regardless of our stark differences, we share can just step outside, jump on transit, go to traction or some sort of avoidance tactic the desire to build real community, directly, Living in a house full of punks is fucking rad a coffee shop or a city park or even a buddy’s available to help me out of uncomfortable with others living around us; by sharing sup- and I wouldn’t change it for anything but I house. They can take that space/time they situations in urban settings without dealing plies, skills/knowledge as well as the willing- felt the need to share my frustration with with the issue directly. Living rurally…not ness to open our hearts and minds beyond other rural folks. I figure if we’re struggling , so much. On the flipside, building commu- those city-centric identities and ideologies. with how to best negotiate space for our- 8 Spring 14 nity can be somewhat easier in small remote selves in this household then there must be towns with the most unlikely of folks. Our The thought of having to deal with shit be- others facing similar struggles, no? How to hunt chickens like a dreadneck By Justice Beaver ewan) is from late summer until it’s too you aim at a bird’s head the wire petals wrap and snap off its feet (it’s easier than it sounds) cold to go outdoors. They hang out in and around their neck and break their spine, and 3. With both hands, really grab the skin on Starting out on your first few hunt- around stands of poplar, aspen, along shelter you won’t be chasing a chicken around with the breasts (huhuhuh) and pull hard in op- ing trips can be pretty overwhelming, espe- belts, gravel roads with narrow ditches, and an arrow in its ass all afternoon. Heck, if posite directions cially if you don’t know too many folks in patches of clover. The best place you could you’re good with a slingshot, give’r. 4. The skin should tear, and with your hands your neck of the woods, and you don’t have find would be an old road or atv trail with So now you’re out in the woods, you can pull the skin and feathers off all in much of a clue what you’re doing. Just wan- bush on both sides. Ruffed Grouse, just like armed and dangerous, and that mean old one go, leaving behind only the tail, wing, dering around in the bush with a shotgun chickens, swallow little stones for digestion, ruffy crosses your path, or looks at you and head feathers, which should be left on can be pretty fun and all, but at the end of so you can almost always find them right wrong from a low branch. You’re out for until you’re home (it’s a legal thing so Ranger the day it’s a lot better to have food in the out in plain sight in the middle of the path blood. You bring your sights down right on Gord can make sure you’re not out poaching pot than not. From my own personal ex- picking for gravel, normally in pairs. If all the bastard’s head, but he won’t stop bobbing eagles or something). These feathers pluck perience, hunting is a lot more enjoyable if else fails, and you find yourself hopeless and around. You get excited, you get anxious, out easily and are beautiful if kept for dec- you’re being successful, and it can be very without a clue where you’ll ever see your you square up, pull the trigger, and BANG. oration discouraging quickly if you’re not. next meal, neighbours and hunters in your You missed. You’re gonna miss sometimes. 5. With both hands again, find the thin skin Hunting prairie chickens, or Ruffed local community are almost always happy to But all hope is not lost! Pay attention to between the ribs and the vent (fancy term Grouse as they’re more officially known, is point you in the right direction. which way he takes off. Check the ground for butthole), and with one hand on the ribs a really great way to get into hunting for Ya don’t need much to go chicken for some feathers or blood, sometimes if you and one on the... vent... sort of hook your meat, and for a lot of good reasons. Unlike hunting. No need for fancy camo clothing, just knick ‘em with the shot they’ll run or fly fingers in and pull apart. You’ll see what I big game, where you may only be allowed to expensive calls, or time consuming blinds. really low into nearby cover, where you easi- mean, I promise shoot one deer or moose in a year, grouse Although a four-wheel drive or an atv might ly find them by following the clucking sound 6. Scoop out the guts and gore and leave seasons are generally long and you can take help you access some more remote areas that it will be making. And don’t just say “screw them out of the way so you don’t gross any- home 6-8 a day if you’re so inclined. Also be- don’t get hunted as hard as others, these big it”; you shot it, go find it. Or maybe you’re one out cause of their large populations, a single walk loud motors can scare the game away, and more like me, and you really did miss by a 7. Rinse the inside out a little and carry on, in the woods can be pretty action-packed, with the high speed of travel it’s easy to drive country grind mile and it flew away. Take a ready for cookin. Remember, it’s poultry, so unlike long cold hungover mornings in a right past these well camouflaged little guys look around, because they don’t go far. The be careful about salmonella poisoning; don’t treestand waiting for deer. And, if you are without ever seeing them, or not seeing one that got away will most likely be perched go leaving the meat out in the sun all day living out off-grid, with limited means of re- them until it’s too late and they’ve taken off on a tree branch close by, and you’ll get your frigeration or preservation, there is no need for the sticks. Hunting chickens is best done second chance. Sometimes third chance. Or *a side note: when cleaning you’ll to worry, just hunt as you’re hungry, and while walking at a relaxed pace down trails forth. Like I said before, ruffies ain’t known find that big neck bulge thing. It’s the great bake that chicken pie once you get home. or along tree lines, or even better, on the for their intelligence. I find the best method big hard lump full of stuff... I like to rip it Now in case any of ya’ll have got hunter’s real secret weapon, the bicycle. to ensure a good clean kill is to try and get open and see what the heck is in there. If no idea what I’m talking about when I say Speaking of weapons, I suppose as close as you can (don’t worry, it isn’t just the grouse in your area have lots of grass in Ruffed Grouse (when I saw my first one I I should touch on that already. Unlike big gonna fly away, it’ll more likely just try and there, try hunting grassier areas; if it’s clover thought it was a football...), I’ll try and give game hunting that requires heavy high-pow- walk away), and take a well aimed headshot keep your eyes open for new clover patch- the best description I can, but you’ll proba- ered rifles with expensive ammo, and water- and stop them where they stay. Some folks es... you get the idea. bly want to try and find some pictures your- fowl hunting with its tight restrictions on like to spook ‘em and shoot them while they self before you go shooting at strange birds ammo, shotgun gauges, and pricey choke fly away, and that works well too as long as Anyway, this article is getting long, (and I’m saying that from experience...). The tubes, you can take just about anything out you trust your shot. so I’ll try and cut it short here, I’ve got a Ruffed Grouse is a mid-sized upland bird chicken hunting. Maybe you’ll wanna leave Once you have finally gotten your grouse of my own thawing in the sink right that is common from South Appalachia all the deer gun at home if you want to have precious little snack, it’s gotta be cleaned. If now from the last hunt of the season. There’s the way to the Canadian Northwest, and just any meat left.... Small bore shotguns like the you’re planning on cleaning back at home or just as many ways to cook ‘em as there is to about everywhere in between. It has brown .410, .20, and .16 gauge are very popular, and at camp I have found the best way to car- cook a farmed chicken, and they taste pret- speckled feathers that are much lighter on with “small game” and “upland bird” loads ry the bird is upside-down, by the feet. This ty well the same, only smaller. I like to stuff the front than the back, and is about the (which are available at any hardware store) keeps the wings out wide and will make your them full of onions and garlic and roast it size of a football, or a 40oz... A real defining the .12 ga shotgun is a great gun to take along. life a lot easier later, and allows you to carry in the oven with some wine in the pan, but characteristic of these tasty little guys is that Keep a slug or some buckshot in your pocket a few at a time in each hand. I prefer to not that’s just me. A cleaned and dressed bird they have this great big bulge on their neck, just incase you stumble across some deer on put a bird in a backpack or bag if i can help will weigh about a pound to a pound and which resembles a huge double chin, which your way! I personally prefer the old trusty it, as once rigor sets in all you’ve got is a big a half, so the cooking time is much shorter they use to store food in. They don’t make .22 rifle while I’m out on the trail, because it stiff pile of feathers. If you’re gonna clean than a farmed chicken. much noise besides a little clucking, and are has by far the cheapest ammo available, has it where you are so you can ditch the guts Take a buddy hunting, it’s more not by any means intelligent. considerable range compared to a shotgun, for the wolves, you don’t even need a knife! fun. Check your provincial or state laws When you go out hunting for has next to no recoil, and makes little noise. Here’s how: before you go getting yourself in a bunch of chickens, if you don’t already know where For the bowhunters out there several com- 1. Lay the grouse on the ground or on your trouble, and if it ain’t your land you plan to some are, they are pretty easy to find during panies have developed special arrowheads lap on its back hunt on, ask first so you don’t ruin it for the the season, which (at least here in Saskatch- made of wire that resemble a daisy; when 2. Spread the wings apart as best you can, rest of us. Appalachian Reveries By Montana Richardson liams River in the Monongahela National Forest. You could learn so much if you just (I left my heart in the hills of West Virginia) got your head out of your hind-end. I never In the heart of a rustic hollow, shrouded understood what in the hell that man was in the shade of March’s not-yet-blossomed trying to get across to me. trees, my father took his last breath. While lending a helping hand to a neighbor, like It’s hearing that old, familiar tune that I any good Appalachian man would, he took miss the most. Since he departed, I’ve grown a moment to rest on a fallen log in the veil aware of what it was that my father so ur- of West Virginian woods. In one moment, gently wanted me to realize. My father want- he sat there breathing in the crisp breeze of ed me to see the elegance of whitetail deer spring, catching the scent of petrichor from grazing in a cloak of mist in our hayfields. He the previous day’s rainfall. In the next, he lay wanted me to feel the ever-present linger of in a bed of autumn leaves on the forest floor, sunburn on the back on my neck from tilling and the drum of his heart took its final beat. the red-clay soil of our garden. He wanted The last remnants of my childhood sense of me to hear the cacophonous screeches of the naivety withered in that moment, like seed- seven-year cicadas that emerged from the lings caught in the frost. earth in swarms of biblical proportions. He wanted me out of my room long enough to I spent most of my adolescence ashamed of be able to share the experience of watching a my Appalachian heritage and felt embar- black bear (the state animal of West Virginia) rassed by my father’s “stereotypical” West trot across our backyard and stop only long Virginian antics. In fact, I did my best to enough to look him straight in the eyes and avoid him on most days. I resented his ten- let out a grunt before scampering off into dency to get angry with me over the most the woods. He wanted me to appreciate the trivial of affairs. He’d say to me, “Son, you euphonic choirs of crickets, owls, frogs, and have your head so far up your hind-end. You whippoorwills that would sing together in portunity to watch the sun set over Mason beauty of everything around me. I think we never know what goes on around you. You resounding harmony for us each and every County beside a raging fire in the comfort all need someone to remind us of that from could learn so much if you just open your summer night. I miss the way he would talk of that hollow alongside my father, hav- time to time. There’s so much we could learn eyes to the world.” He chanted that like a back-and-forth to this one particular white ing a beer together and sharing stories and if we’d just open our eyes. mantra throughout my whole life. It was one dove that would perch at the same place ev- laughter. I wish I could overhear one more of those quirks that my brother and I would ery evening before dusk. These things I now conversation between him and that dove. I always grumble and complain about when realize, and in his absence, I yearn more wish I could be told one last time to take my country grind #2 9 we’d make camping excursions on the Wil- than anything that I could have another op- head out of my hind-end and appreciate the , 10 Spring 14