Counselling and spiritual accompaniment: bridging faith and person-centred therapy

357 Pages·2012·1.91 MB·English

by  Brian Thorne

C ounselling and Spiritual
Accompaniment
P raise for C ounselling and Spiritual Accompaniment
“ B rian Thorne ’ s uniqueness has been marked by his holding together what some have seen as polar opposites.
He is the doyen of person‐centred therapy in Britain and was a close colleague of Carl Rogers. Alongside this,
Brian has lived the Christian faith which has shaped and marked his life. This twinning of what are often seen
as conflicting paths has been Brian’ s courageous project throughout his professional life. This book brings
these two into convergence in a manner hitherto unavailable. It is a key contribution to both areas. It will
offer benefits to practitioners in both worlds and will help to bring these two worlds into a more creative
convergence. ”
T he Rt Revd Stephen Platten
B ishop of Wakefield
“ T his book brings together the person‐centred counselling and theological worlds of Brian Thorne across
more than thirty years of his writing. The unifying concept that describes both his faith and his therapy is his
valuing of humanity. The task, whether we see it as religious or political, is to create conditions that nurture
rather than seek to control the human being. Throughout the years depicted in this book, I have witnessed
Brian ’ s struggle in relation to those forces that would dehumanize. I have seen Brian often tired, sometimes
frustrated and not infrequently distressed in these encounters with the forces of dehumanization. But it is
‘tired’ that I remember most, because in those moments he knew that there would be no rest for him. From
early in his life he had realized that giving up could never be an option. Whether the reader is a person of faith
or an atheist like myself, I commend this book as a medium that can help us all to reflect upon our existence. ”
D ave Mearns
P rofessor Emeritus, University of Strathclyde
“ B rian Thorne has always stood as a beacon for both the person-centred approach to counselling and life and
also the mystical experience of spirituality. His new book, which includes both key writings and some striking
new material, is a classic summation of his work. As ever it is written in a clear and courageous manner that
challenges the reader to respond in kind. If you have an interest in the person-centred approach, the chal-
lenges of living a spiritual life in the modern world or both, then this book will be of great interest and great
use to you. ”
D r. William West
U niversity of Manchester
“ F or me Brian Thorne is the most inspiring person‐centred therapist in the tradition of Carl Rogers. With his
brilliant empathic capacity, full of depth and humour, he lives an outstanding model for everyone who wants
to see that powerful and tender therapeutic skill in action. Brian has not only explored the limits of psycho-
therapy and counselling, he has enriched and transcended the body of knowledge and practice by his personal
spiritual experiences. This results in a refreshing deepening of the therapeutic encounter, with unexpected
turns in conversations and actions. Again and again Brian Thorne enters sacred ground in such a way that
this book can be seen as a guide to divert frontiers and connect to transpersonal sources. ”
P rof. Dr. Mia Leijssen
K U Leuven, Belgium
“ R elevant, meaningful and as daring as ever, this collection of key writing from Brian Thorne on spirituality
and counselling is a must‐have for seasoned and new practitioners in helping relationships. There are classics
here as well as new reflections on spiritual accompaniment for all those who are weary of skills based, tick
box, reductionist approaches to human relating. Brian Thorne ’ s integrity, fearlessness and faith in the human
spirit are a beacon of hope and encouragement for those searching and yearning to articulate the fullness of
their humanity. His deep sharing of his experiences and thinking over the last 30 years will provide invaluable
companionship to anyone wishing to embrace their aliveness in relationship to others and the world. ”
Suzanne Keys
C ounsellor and Supervisor, Private Practice
C ounselling and Spiritual
Accompaniment
B ridging Faith and Person-Centred
Therapy
B rian Thorne
The Norwich Centre for Personal,
P rofessional and Spiritual Development
A John Wiley & Sons, Ltd., Publication
T his edition first published 2012
© 2012 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.
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L ibrary of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
T horne, Brian, 1937–
C ounselling and spiritual accompaniment : bridging faith and person-centred therapy / Brian Thorne.
p. cm.
Includes index.
ISBN 978-1-119-95082-0 (hardback) – ISBN 978-1-119-95081-3 (paperback)
[ DNLM: 1. Nondirective Therapy. 2. Counseling. 3. Spirituality. WM 420.5.N8]
I . Title.
616.86′06–dc23
2012018031
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
C over image: Silhouette of man praying © Steve McAlister / Getty Images.
C over design by Cyan Design.
S et in 10.5/13pt Minion by SPi Publisher Services, Pondicherry, India

1 2012
Dedication
I n affectionate thankfulness for the lives and examples of Carl Rogers,
George Lyward, Stuart Tayler and Gerard Irvine – two
psychotherapists and two priests of rare humanity
C ontents
P reface ix
Acknowledgements xii
P art I F rom: Person-centred Counselling: Therapeutic
and Spiritual Dimensions 1
Introduction 3
C hapter 1 In Search of Value and Meaning (1979) 8
C hapter 2 Intimacy (1982) 17
C hapter 3 The Quality of Tenderness (1985) 31
C hapter 4 The Blessing and the Curse of Empathy (1989) 42
C hapter 5 Carl Rogers and the Doctrine of Original Sin (1990) 61
C hapter 6 Carl Rogers: The Legacy and the Challenge (1990) 72
C hapter 7 The God Who Comes: Good Friday 1946 (1991) 86
P art II F rom: Person-centred Counselling and
Christian Spirituality 91
Introduction 93
C hapter 8 T he Two Carls – Reflections on Jung
and Rogers (1983) 98
C hapter 9 T he Personality of Jesus and the Process
of Therapy (1991) 110
C hapter 10 Spirituality and the Counsellor (1993) 117
C hapter 11 Julian of Norwich: Radical psychotherapist (1993) 121
C hapter 12 J esus, the Incarnation of Holiness
(Three Sermons, 1993) 134
C hapter 13 Developing a Spiritual Discipline (1994) 146
viii Contents
C hapter 14 The Counsellor as Prophet (1994) 150
C hapter 15 Counselling and the Spiritual Journey (1997) 165
P art III F rom: The Mystical Power of Person-Centred
Therapy 179
I ntroduction 181
C hapter 16 The Human Person: Hope or Despair? 187
C hapter 17 T he Person-centred Therapist as Secular
Priest and Prophet 197
C hapter 18 T he Spiritual Discipline of the
Person-centred Therapist 209
C hapter 19 The Use of Self 220
C hapter 20 Intimacy and Sexuality 231
C hapter 21 ‘Alive Alive’ 242
C hapter 22 When the World Stopped Turning 255
P art IV C easing to be a Therapist 265
P rologue 267
C hapter 23 T he Heart’s Surrender (2005) 270
C hapter 24 T he Counsellor and the Lay Canon: Different Routes
but the Same Journey (2007) 293
C hapter 25 A Collision of Worlds (2009) 306
C hapter 26 The Fully Human Jesus (2009) 312
C hapter 27 S acred Intimacy: Spiritual Accompaniment
for our Times (2010) 329
C hapter 28 I n Correspondence (2010) 341
E pilogue 343
I ndex 345
P reface
During the last thirty years or so, I have on numerous occasions consciously
attempted to integrate my experience as a person-centred therapist with
what I have come to understand as key aspects of my spiritual development
and understanding as a life-long Christian and as a member of the Anglican
Church. During that period there has been an increasing recognition in
therapeutic circles of the central importance to many clients of their
spiritual lives and a preparedness to see the spiritual dimension of reality as
a legitimate and sometimes essential part of a therapist’s concern. The days
are now past when issues of religion or spiritual enquiry were deemed to be
the domain solely of the clergy or, at worst, to be signs in a client of incipient
mental disorder or even of psychosis. Spirituality is now firmly on the
therapeutic map and most contemporary therapists acknowledge its
importance even if many may doubt their capacity to venture with
confidence into its terrain.
T wenty years ago Colin Whurr, the proprietor of Whurr Publishers –
now part of the Wiley-Blackwell empire – had the foresight with his Series
Editor, Windy Dryden, to see the beginnings of an important new
development in the therapeutic field. I was encouraged to produce a
collection of papers and previously published chapters and articles which
tentatively touched on the spiritual arena, and in 1991 there appeared
P erson-centred Counselling: Therapeutic and Spiritual Dimensions . This
book seemed to find a ready readership and was reprinted many times. It
remains in print today and is frequently cited in the professional literature.
Seven years later in 1998, emboldened by the success of the first book, I
decided – with the full support of publisher and Series Editor – to produce
a second book which drew much more overtly and explicitly on my
Christian experience and commitment. P erson-centred Counselling and
Christian Spirituality contained much of the text of a previous publication,
x Preface
B ehold the Man , which had appeared many years previously under a
religious imprint as primarily for Christian congregations; it also featured a
number of sermons which I had been invited to give in various cathedrals
and university chapels. As far as I know, these remain the only published
sermons of a person-centred therapist that exist anywhere in the world!
The explicit use of the word ‘Christian’ in the title meant that this second
book attracted attention from the religious press, and to this day readers are
drawn from both the therapeutic community and from those whose pri-
mary concern is to see its relevance to pastoral theology and Christian
formation. Like its predecessor, it remains in print and attracts a steady
trickle of new readers each year.
I suspect that Colin Whurr, while pleased with the success of these two
books, was perhaps not wholly delighted that the Whurr imprint had been
utilised to bring together, for the most part, articles and chapters which had
previously been published elsewhere. It was about time, he courteously sug-
gested, that Whurr Publishers had an option on a newly minted volume
which might do justice to the gradual evolution of my work during the pre-
ceding years. This tactful encouragement resulted, in 2002, in the publica-
tion of The Mystical Power of Person-centred Therapy and, with its
publication, I believe I was able to give full expression to my growing belief
that person-centred therapy is essentially a spiritual undertaking which
owes much to the Christian tradition and requires the kind of spiritual dis-
cipline which we might often associate with those who have committed
their lives to a monastic order or a religious rule of life. Of all the books I
have written, this slim volume gave me most satisfaction and the response
to it has provided me with some of the most moving and exquisite letters
that I have ever received from readers, including colleagues in the
therapeutic profession, priests and ministers, students and erstwhile clients
of counsellors and psychotherapists. Since I have now retired from
therapeutic practice, I have come to see The Mystical Power of Person-
centred Therapy as perhaps my last word on the essential heart of person-
centred therapy as I had come to experience it during nearly forty years of
therapeutic practice. Like its two predecessors, this third book remains
firmly in print, and its relevance today is perhaps even more striking in the
light of the bureaucratisation of the therapeutic profession and the
continuing debate about statutory regulation.
P erhaps it is good that these three books, which constitute milestones in
my own professional and spiritual odyssey, should remain in print and I
rejoice that they have, thus far, had so generous a shelf-life. I am conscious,
Preface xi
however, that not everything that appears in them is of equal interest and
quality and there have been other developments which have relevance.
B ehold The Man, for example, is once more triumphantly back in print
under its original religious imprint (Darton, Longman and Todd, 2007).
Most significantly, I have not retired to my deckchair on a Mediterranean
beach but remain active in the field of spiritual accompaniment where my
therapeutic and Christian experiences are put at the service of those who
desire to draw nearer to God or to the essential meaning of their own
existence. I have come increasingly to regard this field of activity as of
potentially major importance in a world which faces cross-cultural and
environmental challenges which, unless they are met, threaten the very
existence of humankind.
This present volume, then, has two objectives. Firstly, it brings together
some of the writings which appear in the previous three books in a kind of
‘omnibus’ edition. Secondly, it includes more recent contributions – both
published and unpublished – that reflect some of my preoccupations as
I  move through my eighth decade. This section contains some of my
reflections on the practice of spiritual accompaniment and the relevance of
this activity to the needs of those who strive to find meaning and anchorage
in an often frightening and unpredictable world. It is my hope that having,
between two covers, this collection of writings (which span some thirty
years) may be of value to those who try to make sense of the continuity and
the evolution of their own personal, professional and spiritual journeys.