Communication Among Grandmothers, Mothers, and Adult Daughters: A Qualitative Study of Maternal Relationships (Lea's Series on Personal Relationships) PDF
Preview Communication Among Grandmothers, Mothers, and Adult Daughters: A Qualitative Study of Maternal Relationships (Lea's Series on Personal Relationships)
Communication Among Grandmothers, Mothers, and Adult Daughters A Qualitative Study of Maternal Relationships LEA's Series on Personal Relationships Steve Duck, Series Editor Bennett • Time and Intimacy: A New Science of Personal Relationships Canary/Dainton • Maintaining Relationships Through Communication: Relational, Contextual, and Cultural Variations Christopher • To Dance the Dance: A Symbolic Interaction Exploration of Premarital Sexuality Duncombe/Harrison/Allan/Marsden • The State of Affairs: Explorations in Infidelity and Commitment Goodwin/Cramer • Inappropriate Relationships: The Unconventional, The Disapproved, and The Forbidden Honeycutt/Cantrill • Cognition, Communication, and Romantic Relationships Miller/Alberts/Hecht/Trost/Krizek • Adolescent Relationships and Drug Use Miller-Day • Communication Among Grandmothers, Mothers, and Adult Daughters: A Qualitative Study of Maternal Relationships Monsour • Women and Men as Friends: Relationships Across the Life Span in the 21st Century Rogers/Escudero • Relational Communication: An Interactional Perspective to the Study of Process and Form Yingling • A Lifetime of Communication: Transformations Through Relational Dialogues www.erlbaum.com Communication Among Grandmothers, Mothers, and Adult Daughters A Qualitative Study of Maternal Relationships Michelle A. Miller-Day The Pennsylvania State University LAWRENCE ERLBAUM ASSOCIATES, PUBLISHERS 2004 Mahwah, New Jersey London Copyright © 2004 by Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, by photostat, microform, retrieval system, or any other means, without prior written permission of the publisher. Lawrence Erlbaum Associates, Inc., Publishers 10 Industrial Avenue Mahwah, New Jersey 07430 Cover design by Kathryn Houghtaling Lacey Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Miller-Day, Michelle A. Communication among grandmothers, mothers, and adult daughters : a qualitative study of maternal relationships / Michelle A. Miller-Day. p. cm. — (LEA's series on personal relationships) Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-8058-3979-8 (cloth : alk. paper) 1. Parent and adult child. 2. Mothers and daughters. 3. Intergenerational relations. I. Title. II. Series. HQ755.86.M55 2004 306.874—dc22 2003064201 CIP Books published by Lawrence Erlbaum Associates are printed on acid-free paper, and their bindings are chosen for strength and durability. Printed in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 21 Contents Series Foreword vii Preface xi I: Setting the Scene 1 Velvet Chains: Understanding Maternal Relationships 3 2 The Qualitative Research Journey: "How Did I Get Here 15 and Where Am I Going?" 3 Grandmothers, Mothers, and Adult Daughters in Elkwood 43 II: The Action 4 Contradictions 71 5 Patterns of Interaction: Best Intentions, Bitter Regret, 172 Resentment, and Love III: The Denouement 6 Theoretical Development 199 7 Grandmothers, Mothers, and Adult Daughters: 221 A Force to Be Reckoned With v vi CONTENTS Epilogue 227 References 229 Author Index 247 Subject Index 251 Series Foreword Steve Duck University of Iowa T, his series from Lawrence Erlbaum Associates reviews the progress in the academic work on relationships in respect of a broad array of issues, and does so in an accessible manner that also illustrates its practical value. The LEA series also includes books intended to pass on the accumulated scholarship to both the next generation of students and those who deal with relationship issues in the broader world beyond the academy. The series thus comprises not only monographs and other academic resources that exemplify the multidisciplinary nature of this area, but also textbooks suitable for use in the growing numbers of courses on relationships. The series provides a comprehensive and current survey of theory and re- search in personal relationships through the careful analysis of the problems en- countered, and solved, in research, yet it additionally considers the systematic application of that work in a practical context. These resources are intended to be not only comprehensive assessments of progress on particular topics, but also significant influences on the future directions and development of the study of personal relationships. Although each volume is focused and centered, authors attempt to place their respective topics in the broader context of other research on relationships and within a range of wider disciplinary traditions. Thus, the series not only offers incisive and forward-looking reviews but also demon- strates the broader theoretical implications of relationships for the range of dis- ciplines from which the research originates. Series volumes include original studies, reviews of relevant theories and research, and new theories oriented to- ward understanding personal relationships both in themselves and within the vii viii SERIES FOREWORD context of broader theories of family process, social psychology, and communi- cation. Reflecting the diverse composition of personal relationship study, read- ers in numerous disciplines—social psychology, communication, sociology, family studies, developmental psychology, clinical psychology, personality, counseling, women's studies, gerontology, and others—will find valuable and insightful perspectives in the series. Apart from the academic scholars who research the dynamics and processes of relationships, there are many other people whose work involves them in the operation of relationships in the real world. For such people as nurses, police of- ficers, teachers, therapists, lawyers, drug and alcohol counselors, marital coun- selors, and those who take care of the elderly, a number of issues routinely arise concerning the ways in which relationships affect the people whom they serve. Examples include the role of loneliness in illness and the ways to circumvent it, the complex impact of family and peer relationships on a drug-dependent per- son's attempts to give up the drug, the role of playground unpopularity on a child's learning, the issues involved in dealing with the relational side of chronic illness, the management of conflict in marriage, the establishment of good rap- port between physicians and seriously ill patients, the support of the bereaved, and the correction of violent styles of behavior in dating or marriage. Each of these is a problem that may confront some of the previously mentioned profes- sionals as part of their daily concerns, and each demonstrates the far-reaching influences of relationship processes on much else in life that is presently theo- rized independently of relationship considerations. The present volume is devoted to exploring women's experiences of their ma- ternal relationships across the life span and analyzing communication among these women. The book explores the multiple roles, contexts, and dimensions of these relationships simultaneously in natural environments, and employs a quali- tative approach based on the personal lives of the participants. We are all used to understanding the mother-daughter relationship as a unique bond in which daughters are seen as extensions of their mothers, and there are many develop- mental theories that take such an approach. Michelle Miller-Day fills out—and in many cases questions—this set of assumptions and takes a life-span approach to studying families, emphasizing the need for more information about how multi- ple generations (grandparents, parents) impact family members. Communication within the grandmother—mother—daughter relationship is explored from a lay- ered, intergenerational perspective that integrates and juxtaposes alternative ex- periences of the social world; from this emerges a rich and complex understanding of the importance of intergenerational relationships. The present volume is a good example of the series' concerns, because it at- tends to a particular approach to relationships that has been systematically out- lined and developed over a number of years in a comprehensive study. The approach is well developed, and the styles that support it are clearly depicted, some dedicated to the overall approach and some depicting its specific application to particular issues. SERIES FOREWORD ix The strength of the systematic research in approaching this important rela- tionship is one of the ways in which this book can contribute substantially to an understanding of broad relationship processes. For theorists, therapists, and the rest of us, this theme is of immense significance and the present book represents one of the best discussions to date.
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