Columns, Winter 2009

2009·3 MB·English

fl^P^-liHWiiit:
II? i\ii>/Uifci'\ti' I|il1*/yf-'t1i
-•iijliilijpfi^'
Frien
Homecoming Winter
12 Leadership IH
Tug-of-War Sabbath Photo Album 2009
Opening Comments
Southern Friends
—
Spirituallyhomeless that'stheway 1 describedmyselflastsummer.
Afteryearsofworshipingat thesamechurch, my husbandand 1 real-
ized thattheSabbathSchoolswere nolongermeetingourchildren'sneeds.
Regretfully, we beganshoppingfora newchurch, keeping myonline
friendsupdated aswewent. Afterthreedisappointingweeks, 1 wasn'tsure
whatsortofupdatetogive."LoriFutcherisdiscouraged,"I typed.
When 1 returned tomycomputer, 1 found anotefrom
TravisStirewalt, ''^4:
"Ialwaysrememberyouwithsuchstrongspirit. Seems
youaregoingthroughsome thoughtfultimes. ... Remember
this: Goddidnotmakeyouastrongpersonfornoreason.
WTiaieieritisyouarelookingforwillbefowuL hmay take
a bitlongerthanyouwish, huttake itfortheocJi'eninre thatit
IS. ... Try tobeeasyonyourselfandrelax. Sometimes u'luit
welookforisrightunderournoses. ..."
Those wordswereexactlywhat 1 needed. Throughout
theweek, 1 readand rereadthis messageas 1 workedto
buildupcourageforanotherchurchvisit.
Travisand I hadn'tknowneachotherwell incollege.
Yet 15 yearsafterwehadgrabbedourdiplomasand
disappeared into thev\orld, Traviswasthereforme when
1 needed it most. Inaway, itwasthe fact thatweiceren't
closefriendsthat madehismessage meanso much. IfTra-
vis, whobarelyknewme, believed in me, thencertainly 1
couldbelieve inmyself.
I couldn'thelpbutthinkofTraviswhen 1 wasworking
with thisyear's Magazineand FeatureArticleWriting
Lori Futcherandherdaughter,Sierra,havefoundahomeinthe
CollegedaleCradleRollIIclass. students. Astheclasstoldme what theywanted to
COLUMNS
share with readers, theystarted talkingabout theirfriendships
atSouthern,specificallyhow theirfriendshadhelpedthemthroughsome
toughtimes. (Threeofthemhavesharedthesestoriesbeginningonpage
—
8). I had toagree withthem. MyfriendsfromSouthernhavebeen and
—
continuetobe thereforme when I need it the most. —
Andyes,Traviswasright. Thesolution wasright undermy nose orto
bemore accurate, rightacrossthestreet, aswedisco\'ered theCollegedale
SabbathSchoolshadwhatourchildrenneeded.
Lookingback, 1knowGodhad Hishand inthejourney. I'mgrateful that
whenthingsweresodarkthat Icouldnotseemyway. Hesentafriend to
shinealight. Iwillalwayshe thankfulformySouthernfriends.
LoriFutcher,Editor
P.S.Nowthat youknowa little about my Sabbaths, besuretocheckout
whata typicalSabbathatSouthernis liketoroneofourstudentsonpage 14-
VVINTER2009
Features
With Help From My Friends
8 a Little
Southern friendships provide support for students facing life's challenges.
12 All for One, One for All
An associate professor of business shares insight on the tension leaders face when
balancing the needs ofthe individual with the needs ofthe group.
A Sabbath at Southern
14
A student shares her experience ofwhat a typical Southern Sabbath is like today.
Homecoming 2008
18
Enjoy a photographic look at the 2008 Homecoming festivities, including the
student opening ofthe new Hulsey Wellness Center.
Debartments
5 Teaching Teachers
14
6 People
23 Spotlight
24
Headlines
31 Mission Minutes
32 On Move
the
33 Scrapbook COVER:StudentsAdrienneVernon,Chris
Mateo,andVivieneMartinellisharein
34 Life 101 thheilspeidsstuehehmowthSroouutghherrnoufgrhietnidmsehsi.ps
^, PHOTOGRAPHER:LukeMiller
y
Columns • 3
InBox
Newsworthy Missed Opportunity
I'vejustfinishedreadingthefall2008issue Asa loyalalumotSouthern Adventist
ofCOLUMNS, which, I think, is thefitst I've University, I wasexcitedtoreceivethefall 2008 COLUMNS
COLUMNS
receivedfromSouthern. intoday'smail. I appreciatedthe
Inadditionto itsslickappearance, which conciseand insightfularticlebyJohnWesley
Volume 61 Number 1
definitelydrawsone'seye, Ifound thecontent TayloronbeingChristians intoday'spostmod-
most interestingandwell-produced. ernsociety. Hepresentedthedifficultiesweface
I wanttosecond the lettertotheeditor asChristians inapostmodernsocietyverywell,
whichcamefromyour"fan,"Jennifervon but therewasn't muchgiventoprovideapath
Maack.Youcertainlyaredoinganicejobwith foranswersorstrategies. ExecutiveEditor:RuthieGray,'99&'04
thepublication. 1 wasdisappointedtoseeamissedopportuni- ManagingEditor:Lori Futther,'94
Asyoumightimagine, the article about ty to letyourreadersknowwhatourworldwide LayoutEditor:IngridSkantz,'90
Southern'sarchaeologicallibrarywasofgreatest churchisdoingtostayauthenticyetrelevantin Editorial KatiePartlo,'06
interesttome. A treasure like thatshouldbe thefaceofaworldthat ismorethan 30percent Assistants: NataliaLopez-Thismon,'08
MelissaSwanson,current
widelypromotedandused. postmodern. Peopleoftenfeel trappedbetween
Layout IsaacJames,'08
theold and thenewwhen they read about the Assistants: JasonLang,current
Marcia KLing, News Channel 9
challengesthatexistwithoutreceiving informa- Photography: IsaacJames,'08
tiononhowtoadjusttothosechallengesor BuddySummitt,current
IanZinner,attended
respondtothem.
Out of Sight... TheCentreforSecular& Postmodern
Manythanksfortheexcellentjobyouare Studies (CSPS) offersresearch,education, and
doing! resourcesforAdventistsaround theworld who President:GordonBietz
However, as1 haveread the magazines want toliveauthenticallyandalsoevange- AcademicAdministration:RobertYoung
throughtheyears, therehasbeenmissingfrom listically intoday'ssociety. Adepartmentof FinancialAdministration:TomVerrill
COLUMNS informationregardingthosewho theGeneralConferenceOfficeofAdventist StudentServices:WilliamWohlers
havefollowedthe Lord'sleadingtoliveand Mission,CSPSprovidestrainingevents, Advancement:ChristopherCarey
work inareasmoredistantfromSouthern discipleshipmaterials, andcutting-edgemedia Marketing/Enrollment:VinitaSauder,'78
AdventistUniversity.Thosewhowillstillhear forchurchedand unchurched postmodems Marketing/Univ.Relations:RuthieGray,'99&'04
AlumniRelations:EvonneCrook,'79
the"welldone"saidwhentheLordcomesbut, internationally.
due tocircumstances, havenotbeenable tolive 1hopeyourreaderswhowantansw-erscan
intheshadowsofSouthernAd\entistUniver- perhapsfind themwithintheresourcesour
sityandhavechosen,forvariousreasons, not to churchhasbeguntoprovide. Sendcorrespondenceto:
makeanannualpilgrimage to"Mecca." Sarah (Matthews) Asaftei, '03 SCoOuLtUhMeNrnSAEddvietnotristUniversity
IfitwerepossibletomakeaGooglesearch PostOfficeBox370
of"SouthernAdventistUniversityalumni," I Collegedale,TN37315-0370
[email protected]
think itwouldshowthoseclose tohomeorwho
have friendsandfamilyclose toSouthernget- Sendaddresschangesto:
AlumniRelations
tingthe mostpress. SouthernAdventistUniversity
It isprobablyan impossibletask,butIwould PostOfficeBox370
Collegedale,TN37315-0370
stilllove tohearmoreaboutthosewedonot [email protected]
hearabout.
Bill Jones, '52
Phone:1.800.S0UTHERN
FAX:[phone]
Email:[email protected]
Website:www.southern.edu
InBox is a forum for reader feedback.
Questions, concerns, compliments, criticisms, COLUMNSistheofficialmagazineof
—
and even discussions all are welcome and SouthernAdventistUniversity,producedby
MarketingandUniversityRelationstoprovide
encouraged. Letters may be edited for length informationtoalumniandotherfiiends
or clarity. Please send InBox letters to: oftheuniversity.*2009,SouthernAdventistUnivennty
COLUMNS Editor, PO Box 370, Collegedale, TN
37315-0370 or email [email protected].
4 • Winter2009
Teaching Teachers
Sharing the
Vision
had bigdreamsfortheupcomingGym-Mastershomeshow. Wehad a
Igreat theme, "GoAgainstthe Flow,"amessageaboutfollowingJesus'
leadand notdoingwhat theworld tellsus todo. 1 envisioned portray- byRickSchwarz,SchoolofP.E.,Health,andWellness
ingourgymnastsasfishdoingtheir routines"underwater" and planned withSuzanneOaai,freshmanmasscommunicationsmajor
touse myson'stalentsofchoreographyand artistic face makeup thathe
hadacquiredwhileworkingwithCirqueduSoleil. Insteadotrequiringan
Proving Her Right
emcee, theroutineswouldflowfromoneacttothenext.Weevenhada
tl-.emesongwrittenbya team member. At the next practice, 1 spent 20 minutesofvaluable practice time
Thoughsome pieceswere coming together, 1 could tell that notev- readingthrough myvisiontorthe homeshow. Partotme wasdoing itto
eryonewason thesame page. Therewasfrictionbetw-eenteam members, proveJessi wrong, toshowthat theyshouldjustfollowmeand 1 would
and theywere arguingwith eachotherwhiledraggingtheirteet thriuigh getthemthere.
routines. Ithonestlydidn't look like theshowwould be anythingclose to 1startedreading, andas 1 glanced upand looked around, theireyes
what 1 hadvisualized. wereallonme, and I couldsee theyweregettingit. The lighthadcome
on in their minds.
Jessi's Advice Ourpracticesweren'tperfectafterthat,but theyweremuch more
Atterone extremelydiscouragingpractice, while theothercoaches productive, andourshow turnedoutalmostas 1hadpictured it.
and 1 satdiscussinghow wepictured the show, a teammemberquietly Aswewerenearingtheendofourhomeshowperformance, 1 thought,
hungby.Jessi isan intelligentstudent withabubblypersonalityanda "We're almostdone andevetythinghasgone sowell."Thepropswere
passionfortumbling.WhenIsawher, I thoughtshewantedtotalkabout fantastic; there wasseaweed in the backgroundand fishhangingfrom the
the tumblingroutine that 1 hadaskedhertoarrange. 1 wasnot inthe ceiling.Thegymnastshadcaught the vision, tumblingandjumping, with
mood toencouragesomeoneelse'screativity, especiallywhen itdidn't softer, morefluid movements toresemblehowthe moveswouldhedone if
seem like 1couldgetanyofmyown ideasacross. 1 wasready tostart theywere actuallyunderwater.Thewholeproductionwasenjoyable, and
cuttingtheroutinesthatwejust wereceivedpositive
feedbackfromthe
didn'thave timetolearn.Jessi's
audienceabout the
tumblingroutine wasone Iwas
show'svarietyand
consideringcutting. All 1 wanted
performance.
todoright thenwascomplain.
Jessi listened to merantfora
Gaining
fewminutesthen tactfullysaid,
"Coach, the teamwantstowork Insight
to make thehomeshowasuccess, Beingacoachand
butwedon'tsee thevision.We gymnastforalmost
don'tknowwhatwe aresupposed 50yearshastaught
todo." me a lotofpractical
Atfirst 1 wantedtodefend life lessons. Home
myposition, butafterafew show2007helped
lameattempts, Ihad toagree me realize thatfor
thatJessiwasright. The dream I myteam tofollow
had wasstill inmyhead. It had my lead, theyneeded
beensharedinbitsandpieces tobe included in the
toafewbutnot inwholetothe creativeprocess. 1
entireteam. BeforeJessi left, she RickSchwarziswillingtoputintheextraefforttohelphisGym-Masterscatchthevision. neededtosharemy
encouraged me tosharemyideas ideaswiththemto
withthe whole team. Soafterasleeplessnightandsomeprayer, thenext provide therightdirection.WhenI talkedthingsthroughwiththem, my
morning, I setofftowriteoutmyconceptfortheshow. Writingdoesn't teamcame upwithsolutionsforhowitcould beaccomplished,andtheir
come easyforme,so itwasapainfulprocess. Ispentnearly threehours ideasandefforthelped theprocessmovesmootherfromstarttofinish.
pecking itout, tryingtoexplainonpaperhoweachroutine wouldflow. It'sperformances like this with inputfrom team members likeJessi
While 1 satat thetable writing, 1 realizedhowmanydetails 1 hadn't thathelpmecatchthe visionofhowateamcansucceed and together
explained tomy team. produceadynamicshow. -^
Columns • 5
—
People
Hannah Kuntz
own ideaforafeature aboutcompetitive
Finding Her Story ice-skating, Hannah awaited hereditor's
approval. AmazedbyHannah'sworkethic
HannahKuntz, printjournalismmajor, and ability tofind the "right"story,NilaDo
—
needed an internship fast. As thesum- proudly agreed to the piece, "h's incredible
merbeforehersenioryeardrewcloserand forsomeonenewtofindstories,"explainsDo.
closer, Hannahhopedthatat leastone maga- "Finding the right story isanotherlevel, and
zine wouldcontacther. Itwasa phone call on she had it."
the lastdayofherjunioryearthatturned her Atthecompletionofherstory, Hannah
desire intoareality. wasabletosayshehadmet and inteniewed
Duringjustonesummer, Hannahwould professionalskatersKimmieMeissnerand
notonlyperfecther interviewingand writing Todd Eldredge aswell astheircoach, Richard
skills, hut she would alsohave the opportu- Callaghan. "Itwassoexcitmgmeetingthem
nity to meetprofessional athletes, establish andbeingabletofinishthisstory,"Hannah
newfriendships, and learn tohave greater says. "I felt asenseofaccomplishmentbecause
confidence inherself. Jhadpitchedthestoryand myhardworkwas
Withanexcitingexclamationof, "Yes, payingoff."
I'll do it!"Hannahagreed to an internship "Thisinternshipcemented inmymindthat
position at GoldCoasimagazine inFort Lau- this iswhat 1 reallywanttodo inthefuture,"
derdale, Florida. Nila Do, managingeditorot Hannahadds.
GoldCoastmagazine,expressed that Hannah Hannah'seditorissupportiveoftheseplans.
stoodoutfrom the internship'smanyother "1 know,"shesays, "thatHannah willmakea
potentialcandidates, notonly throughher tremendousjournalistsomeday."
manywriting samplesbut also"throughher ~LaurenYsseWyke
attitude and
willingness to
seekus out,
insteadofus
seekingher
out."
Hannah
Lastfall inthesouthsideofChattanooga,
launched into
acrowdgathered inside thenewestaddi-
her internship
tiontotheneighborhood:CobblestoneRue,
equippedwith
acouture portraitstudio, openedbywedding
basic reporting
photographerGarrettNudd, '00.
and inter\'iew-
The openingofCobblestoneRuemarked
ingskillsshe
anewchapterinNudd'scareer,whichalready
hadlearned
fromNews hastakenhimtoweddingsfromcoasttocoast
andabroad.Smce theystartedphotographing
Reportingclass.
A typicalday weddingsin2002,Nuddandhiswife,Joy
(Pecaoco), '00, havebeenshootingweddings
forheratGold
andengagementsessionsalmostnon-stop.
Coastmaga-
Surprisingly, he never intendedforpho-
zine included
tographytobeanythingmore thanahobby.
copyediting,
Aftergraduating,Nuddwastheeditorof
verifyingfacts,
COLUMNSforthreeyearsbeforemovingto
archiving
Orlando, Florida, toworkforAdventist
old issuesof
HealthSystem. While inFlorida,heab-
magazines, and
sorbedhimselfinhisphotography, andde-
herpassion
mandforhiswork increased.
writingstories.
Nuddrememberstheeveningwhenev-
After
erythingchanged.Joyapproachedhimashe
pitchingher
^^^, immcf^mi.
...nn
'
ftT}iiiiB«lifllinff?ir"''-attiTl?1-Ti -
Kevin Kibble
taskforwhichhe iswell-suited. Here, hehas
Rooted in Ministry beenable toexpand the reachoftheChaplain's
Officetostudentsandalumni withnewcampus
When KevinKibble,assistantchaplain, made ministries.
a hospital visit toTitmarDuke, sophomore Recently,he launched SeniorTransitionand
social work major, shewassurprised. GraduateEnrichment (STAGE) tohelp recent
"It's neat tosee that thechaplainsknow graduatestransitionsmoothly intothenext
what'sup in my life and that theycare what stageoftheirlives. "Statistically, allthtoughout
/ happens tome,"saysTamar. Christianity, there'safive-orsix-yeargap when
ThroughoutKibble'slife,he'shadmanyexperi- youngadultsreconsiderall theiroptions includ-
^J»
ences wherehe wasable toshowjusthow much ingchurch,"Kibbleexplains."Webelieve that
^' ^.
hecaresabout theyouth around him. Growing ifSoutherncanbe aresourceforourgraduates,
up inafamilythatwasdevoted toministry (his we'llbe able toshorten thatgap."
grandfather,father,andthreeuncleswerepastors), STAGEconnectsrecentgraduateswith
Kibblehadadesire toworkin thesame field. "It otheralumniandalsohelpsthemfindahome
V - T t,„^ waskindofourfamilybusiness,"Kibblesays. church intheirnewlocation.Oncampus,
AfterworkingwithyouthontheWest currentstudentskeep intouchwithgraduates,
Coastformostofhiscareer, Kibbleand hiswife, prayingfortheirspecific requests.
—
^'^ TL Gennevieve Brown-Kibble, directorofchoral "What I'mdoingnow is the apex watching
activities, movedtoCoUegedale in 2005 when individualstudents beingconnectedwith a
I'iit^ Tt,-yen bothwereofferedjobsatSouthern. greatand mightyGod,"saysKibble. "Hesent
Kibble'spositiondealslesswithadministra- hisSpiritforareason, tobeourconnectionto
tivedemandsand more withstudentneeds, a God. Hegave ussomethingthatconnectsus."
~RazCataramaandSuzanneOcsai
satathiscomputereditingweddingphotos
aftetafullday athistegulatjob. "1 know
howbadlyyou want to leave behind yout
cotpoiatejoband putsuephotographyfull
time,"shesaid. "I wantyoutoknowthat
I've thoughtabout itandprayedabout it,
and ifit'swhatyouwant todo, I'llsupport
—
you 100percent underonecondition: we
will notbestarvingartists."
And indeed theyhave notbeen. Busi-
nessboomed,with45 weddingsin2006
alone.Atthe beginning, alloftheirclients
cameonlyfromreferrals, atestamenttohow
successfulNudd'stheoryi_)tbuildingrelation-
shipswithhisclientshasbeen. Sincethen,
thecouple hasgraduallybeencuttingback
and moving towardportraitphotography.
Inadditiontoshootingweddingphotos,
Nuddhasservedasanadjunctprofessorat
Southernsince 2006. Studentswhohave
takenNudd's Introductionto Photography
course appreciatehisexperienceandbeing cationsmajorwho tookhisclass in 2006. "The forworkingwithhisfamily.
able toseehistalentandsuccessfirsthand. factthathehascomesofarsoquicklyisinspiring." "EachdayIwakeupandfollowmypassion,"
"Hehassomuchexperienceforsomeoneso ForNudd, his inspirationcomesfrom living he says. "I can't imagine anythingbetter."
young,"saysEmilyYoung,ajuniormasscommuni^ alifedrivenbyapassionforphotography and •JenniferMeyer
ClILUMNS • 7
"There's a certain breed of good people who cometo Southern, and I thinkthat's been very helpful in helping me
make good choices and keep good friends in a Christian atmosphere." —B.J.Taylor,junior, religiousstudies
Winter 2009
College can be
Q-o
tOUyh. There are tests; proj- I
ects; and the juggling of classes,
work, and extracurricular activities.
Even without any sort of unusual
trauma, friendships can make
the difference between whether
a student just survives or thrives
through the experience. But when
tragedy steps in, these friendships
become a lifeline. ^fe
MY
FRIENDS
Viviene Martinelli,
Chris Mateo,E
I
Adrienne Vernon are three
students from this year's Magazine
and Feature ArticleWriting class
who agreed to share theirstories
of howtheir college lives were
—
impacted bytragedy ^and how
Southern friends came to the rescue.
"My friends provide an escape from all the pressures of 'They mean a lot to me because they're a safe haven.
class and homework." —Daniel Alvidres, freshman, biology —Kyle Humphrey, freshman, sports studies management
Columns • 9
FRIENDS ANGELS ON A DROP OF
IN
COMFORT
THE DIVIDE (AND OFF) THE ICE
S
ByVivieneMartinelli ByChrisMateo ByAdrienneVernon
seniorbroadcast seniorpublic juniorpublic
journalismmajor relationsmajor relationsmajor
Madness,frustration,andangeroverwhelmed "Chris!"myroommate,Matt,screamedasmy Myshoulderssank intotheframeofmy
measIsat inthehallwaywaitingformynext bodyconvulsedonthe ice. Sevenfriendsand I freshmanbodyas 1satonThatcherHall'sporch.
class.Aclassmatewalkedbyandnoticedthe were inMichiganfortheweekend. Ourplans Myarmsweretremblingfromthe adrenaline
lookofdespaironmyface."Areyouallright?"she were tohavefun, butwheniceskatingturned coursingthroughmybody.1wantedtocryharder,
asked. I triedmybesttopretendeverythingwas intoarideonastretcher, myfriendsfollowed. louder,but mybodycouldonlyreleaseahiccup
great,butthistime, Ijustwasn'tstrongenough. Firstdiagnosis: brainaneurysm. Myfamily asevidenceofthephonecall 1 hadjustreceived.
Afterayearstudyingabroad, Ihadreturned arrivedfromOhioandjoinedfriendsaround my Minutesearlier, mymotherhadcalled totell
hometotheStates. Ifeltecstaticaboutmy hospitalbedtoprayandsingasIlayunconscious. methat myunclehaddied inafreakjob
brother'ssummerweddingfestivities,butthe Finaldiagnosis: subarachnoidhemorrhage, accident. Hefell throughaskylight,40feetto
summer'sendwasnotsobrightas1discovered internal bleedingfrommyheadhittingthe ice. hisdeath. Hewas46yearsold.
thatmyparentsweredivorcingandmymomwas 1 woke up in astateofcontusion. Whatis this Tearscrawleddownmycheckas1observedmy
leavingus tomove backto Brazil. achingpain?Whyam1lyinginahospital?Standing surroundings:peoplescurryingtoclass;girlsloung-
Soonafterthenewshit, 1startedmyjunior bymybed, mymotherandanaunt told me the ingonfreshlymowed lawn, soaking upthe last
year. Itwas myfirstsemesteratSouthern, and story.That'swhen ithitme. 1 hadmissed two raysofsummersun;andbirdswhistlingdelightful
beinginanewplacedidn'thelpmeadjustto daysoflife,andmyfriendswerebackatSouthern. melodies. 1glancedatmyroommateandanother
whathadhappenedtomyfamily. As Icriedmy Asunfamiliarfacespassedthroughmyroom, friendsittingdutifullybesideme. Heretheywere,
heartoutwhileexplainingthis tomyclassmate, 1 lost trackoftime.Thedoor'screakingsignaled but1silentlywondered ifanyoneelsecared.
Shirley, Iwasovertakenbythefactthatthisgirl, what 1 expected tobeanotherdoctor.Ohgreat, 1 Meagan, myroommate, gently touchedmy
withwhom 1 hadonlyexchangedoccasional thought,dreadinganotherseriesofquestions. shoulder. "Whatdoyouwant todo, Adrienne?"
greetings, waswillingtolistenandcomfortme. "Surprise!"shoutedmybestfriends. Laurel she asked."Doyouwanttogohome?"
NeitherShirleynor 1 attendedclassthatday. andMindy, astheyleaped intomyroom "Home?"1 questioned, as though 1hadnever
Shewalkedbeside meonthepromenade as 1 wearing"1 Love Mateo"shirts. heardoftheplace. Did 1wanttogohomeand
criedandcriedandcried. "It'sokay tocry," "1 can'tbelieveyouguysdroveallthewayup facemygrievingfamily?CouldIbestrongenough
Shirleysaid."Justlet itout."Although the here tovisit me," 1saidwithahugegrin. tocomfort my motherin the lossofherbrother?
embarrassmentandanguishdidn'tgoaway, Itwasabrightspot inmyagonizingrecovery. 1silentlynodded. Meaganledmetoourroom
thosesimplewordswerewhatI neededtohear. Afterleavingthehospital, mytimewasspent togathersome things1 would need topack.
HalfayearpassedsincethedivorceandIstill confinedtomybed, isolatedanddepressed. Duringthehourlongdrive, 1 preparedtodelve
hadn'tspokentomymom.Otherpeopleoftenre- Myonce-sociallifeoffriends,classes,eventhe intotheemotions.Then1 muddled throughthe
ceivedcallsfromtheir mothers,andnothavinga simpleactofdriving,turnedtogloomandsolitude. afternoontradingcondolences,sharingmemories,
closerelationshipwithminediscouragedme.Iwas But therewasone thingtolookforwardtoevery andsupportingmyfamily. Assoonas 1 got the
—
quieterthanusual inclassonedayandmyclass- day encouragingphonecallsfromfriends. chance, I slipped tomyroomforsolitaryrelief
mate, Kimberly,noticedsomethingwaswrong. Whenmydoctorsadvisedmetoremain 1 sank intomydeskchairtocheckmyemail.
"Areyouokay?"she asked. homeandpostponegraduation, Ifeltdiscour- Onenewmessage.Thesender'saddresspuzzled
"Notreally," 1 replied. aged. ButwhenMattcalled,hecheered me up me. ItwasShane,afriendI'dmet inthecafeteria
Kimberly invitedme tothecafeteriatotalk byremindingme thathehad anotheryearleft aweekbefore."Strange,"1thought.Wehadspoken
overlunch. She listenedat lengthtoall 1had to too. "Wecanroom togetheragain,"he said. only acoupleoftimes, and 1 don't thinkIgave
say.Mymother'sshoeswereunfiUable.Mydadwas Afterthreelongmonths,1returnedtocampus hmi myemailaddress. 1 opened the message.
facingadifficulttime,andIdidn'twanthimwor- toretrieve mybelongingsandmycar. Allweek 1 Hey,
ryingaboutmeontopofit. 1bottledupmyfeel- visitedwithfriends.1didn'twantittoend. I'm not sure if you remember me or if
this is the right email address, but I
ingsbecauseIdidn'thaveanyonetoleanon.That Dreadingthe ridehome, Iwassurprised to wanted to tell you that I'll be praying
day,KimberlyprovidedtheshouldersIneeded. findaletterfromLaurel inmyglovecompart- wfoorulydouh.aveI staawlkyeodutcoryyionugthteond,aybuatndI
Afterwefinished lunch, Kimberlyhelped me ment. "I'mheresitting inyourcar, and I don't saw you had friends with you. I don't
makeanappointmentwithSouthern'scounseling knowwhat todo," itsaid. "Iwanttotell you hisa,vebuatnyeiitdheearhwoawysIerhioopues itthecapnrobbeleamn
center.Thecounselorgavemegreatadviceon that I loveyouandImissyou! AndIknowGod encouragement for you to know that you
have friends who are praying for you,
howtocopewithhavingdivorcedparentsand iswithyourightnow, sodon'tgiveup." including me. God bless, Shane
howtorestorethelostrelationshipwithmymom. Thatnotehitmestraightintheheart. All
Evenas1 triedtohidemypain,mynewfriends thistime, 1hadfeltsoalone,butGodhad been Myeyesfilledwith tearsyet again, but 1 felt
atSouthernwereattentiveenoughtoperceivethat with me. Andthoughwewereseparatedby peace.Godsentadropofcomfortfromsomeone
—
1neededhelp.Throughtheirkindness,I'velearned miles, myfriendswerereallywithme too just 1 hardlyknew, and itwasexactlywhat 1 needed
thatwhenlifedividespeople,Godunitesothers,"v" like theywere thatoneeveningonthe ice. "v" toget throughthe restofthatpainfulday. V"
10 • Winter2009