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Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide PDF

480 Pages·2016·21.31 MB·English
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CHRISTIAN COUNSELING O t h e r B o o k s b y G a r y R . C o l l in s Search for Reality Living in Peace Our Society in Turmoil (edited) Man in Transition Effective Counseling Fractured Personalities Man in Motion Overcoming Anxiety The Christian Psychology of Paul Tournier Coping with Christmas I t’s OK to be Single (edited) Make More of Your Marriage (edited) The Secrets of Our Sexuality (edited) Facing the Future (edited) Living and Growing Together (edited) How to be a People Helper People Helper Growthbook The Rebuilding of Psychology: An Integration of Psychology and Christianity You Can Profit from Stress Family Talk Helping People Grow (edited) CHRISTIAN COUNSELING: A Comprehensive Guide By Gary R. Collins WORD BOOKS PUBLISHER 4100 WEST WACO DRIVE WACO.TEXAS 76701 Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide Copyright © 1980 by Word, Incorporated. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without the written permission of the publisher, except for brief quotations in reviews. Unless otherwise specified, scripture quotations are from the New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission. ISBN 0-8499-2889-3 Libr. of Congress Catalog Card No.: 79-67361 Printed in the United States of America Contents P r e f a c e 7 How to U se T h is B ook 9 I. I n t r o d u c t o r y I ssu es 1. The Church and Counseling 13 2. The Core of Counseling 22 3. The Counselor and Counseling 34 4. The Crises in Counseling 48 n. P er so n a l I ssu es 5. Anxiety 59 6. Loneliness 72 7. Depression 84 8. Anger 100 9. Guilt 116 m. Sin g l e n e s s -M a r r ia g e I ssu es 10. Singleness 131 11. Choosing a Mate 143 12. Preparing for Marriage 156 13. Marital Problems 169 14. Divorce and Remarriage 187 IV. D e v e l o p m e n t a l F a m il y I ssu es 15. Child-Rearing and Parental Guidance 203 16. Adolescence and Youth 220 17. Vocational Counseling 235 18. Middle Age 250 19. The Later Years 264 V. Se x a n d I n t e r p e r s o n a l I ssu es 20. Sex Apart from Marriage 281 21. Sex within Marriage 300 22. Homosexuality 316 23. Interpersonal Relations 332 24. Inferiority and Self-esteem 347 VI. O t h e r I ssu es 25. Financial Problems 361 26. Drugs and Alcohol 376 27. Sickness 396 28. Grief 411 29. Spiritual Problems and Spiritual Growth 429 30. Life Traumas 446 31. Families, Communities and Counseling 461 Subject Index 472 Preface This manuscript was completed and sent to the publisher exactly ten years after the completion of my first book. It is interesting for me to look back over a decade of writing to ponder how my work has changed and hopefully improved through the production of more than two dozen books. Some of these works have been well received and sold many copies; others have had less influence, but each has forced me to face the dis­ cipline, the long, lonely hours, and the risk of expressing ideas in print, where all can see, criticize, and sometimes applaud. I once asked Paul Toumier which of his many books was the best. “That’s easy,” he said with a twinkle in his eye—“the next one.” I can appreciate Toumier’s sentiments. I am not interested in judging whether this book will be better or worse than the next one, but I do know that this volume has been the most difficult to write and the most time- consuming. It is also the lengthiest of all my books. I hope it will also be the most helpful to date. In the following pages I have tried to summarize much of what we know about counseling methodology and about the major problems which peo­ ple face today. This book has been prepared as a resource tool for pastors and other Christian counselors, as a study guide for lay helpers, and as a textbook for use in seminaries and colleges. Besides being written for these audiences, this is the reading book for a multi-media resource en­ titled The Christian Counselor's Library. The library contains twenty- eight audio cassettes, a Counselor’s Manual, and counselee worksheets (besides this book), and was produced by Educational Products Division of Word, Incorporated, 4800 W. Waco Drive, Waco, Texas 76710. In the past decade of writing, I have never before felt the support and encouragement of so many people. Joey Paul and his colleagues at Word, Incorporated, first invited me to do this project, gave constant encourage­ ment, and waited more or less patiently through several delays as the work was completed. My secretary Marlene Terbush and my graduate assistants Charles Romig and James Beesley helped in innumerable ways as did a team of typists which included Kathy Cropp, Marilyn Secor, Lenore Scherrer, Sharon Regan, Nancy Fister and Lora Beth Norton. In addition each of the people who produced tapes made a significant contribution. Their names are listed elsewhere. Dr. Kenneth Meyer, Pres­ ident of Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, my colleagues in the psy­ chology department, and my students all showed incredible flexibility 7 8 Preface and encouragement, allowing me to juggle my schedule to complete this project in the midst of a busy school year. My family has always stood with me as I have written books, but I have especially appreciated their support this time. My wife Julie and my daughters Marilynn and Janice have tolerated my long absences with good will and have given constant encouragement. In the weeks ahead they will be getting more of my “prime time.” The one person, however, who has made the greatest contribution to this book is my administrative assistant, Lawrence M. Tomquist. Work­ ing full time on this project for several months, he did background re­ search, reviewed and critically evaluated each of the chapters as they were written, and discussed many of the concepts with the clarity and in­ sight that I have come to expect. He never wrote any of the following paragraphs but in terms of input and influence he is in many respects a coauthor. It is humbling to realize, however, that in all of this, we write, read, and counsel only because God has given us the capacities and desires to do so. This book goes forth, therefore, with thanks to God, with the prayer that it will bring honor to Jesus Christ, and with the hope that the Holy Spirit will use it to help many Christian counselors to care more effectively for their counselees. Gary R. Collins

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