Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide

480 Pages·2016·21.31 MB·English

by  Gary R. Collins

CHRISTIAN
COUNSELING
O t h e r B o o k s b y G a r y R . C o l l in s
Search for Reality
Living in Peace
Our Society in Turmoil (edited)
Man in Transition
Effective Counseling
Fractured Personalities
Man in Motion
Overcoming Anxiety
The Christian Psychology of Paul Tournier
Coping with Christmas
I t’s OK to be Single (edited)
Make More of Your Marriage (edited)
The Secrets of Our Sexuality (edited)
Facing the Future (edited)
Living and Growing Together (edited)
How to be a People Helper
People Helper Growthbook
The Rebuilding of Psychology: An Integration of
Psychology and Christianity
You Can Profit from Stress
Family Talk
Helping People Grow (edited)
CHRISTIAN
COUNSELING:
A Comprehensive Guide
By
Gary R. Collins
WORD BOOKS
PUBLISHER
4100 WEST WACO DRIVE
WACO.TEXAS
76701
Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide
Copyright © 1980 by Word, Incorporated.
All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced
in any form without the written permission of the publisher,
except for brief quotations in reviews.
Unless otherwise specified, scripture quotations are from the
New American Standard Bible, © 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971,
1972, 1973 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
ISBN 0-8499-2889-3
Libr. of Congress Catalog Card No.: 79-67361
Printed in the United States of America
Contents
P r e f a c e 7
How to U se T h is B ook 9
I. I n t r o d u c t o r y I ssu es
1. The Church and Counseling 13
2. The Core of Counseling 22
3. The Counselor and Counseling 34
4. The Crises in Counseling 48
n. P er so n a l I ssu es
5. Anxiety 59
6. Loneliness 72
7. Depression 84
8. Anger 100
9. Guilt 116
m. Sin g l e n e s s -M a r r ia g e I ssu es
10. Singleness 131
11. Choosing a Mate 143
12. Preparing for Marriage 156
13. Marital Problems 169
14. Divorce and Remarriage 187
IV. D e v e l o p m e n t a l F a m il y I ssu es
15. Child-Rearing and Parental Guidance 203
16. Adolescence and Youth 220
17. Vocational Counseling 235
18. Middle Age 250
19. The Later Years 264
V. Se x a n d I n t e r p e r s o n a l I ssu es
20. Sex Apart from Marriage 281
21. Sex within Marriage 300
22. Homosexuality 316
23. Interpersonal Relations 332
24. Inferiority and Self-esteem 347
VI. O t h e r I ssu es
25. Financial Problems 361
26. Drugs and Alcohol 376
27. Sickness 396
28. Grief 411
29. Spiritual Problems and Spiritual Growth 429
30. Life Traumas 446
31. Families, Communities and Counseling 461
Subject Index 472
Preface
This manuscript was completed and sent to the publisher exactly ten
years after the completion of my first book. It is interesting for me to
look back over a decade of writing to ponder how my work has changed
and hopefully improved through the production of more than two dozen
books. Some of these works have been well received and sold many copies;
others have had less influence, but each has forced me to face the dis­
cipline, the long, lonely hours, and the risk of expressing ideas in print,
where all can see, criticize, and sometimes applaud.
I once asked Paul Toumier which of his many books was the best.
“That’s easy,” he said with a twinkle in his eye—“the next one.” I can
appreciate Toumier’s sentiments. I am not interested in judging whether
this book will be better or worse than the next one, but I do know that
this volume has been the most difficult to write and the most time-
consuming. It is also the lengthiest of all my books. I hope it will also be
the most helpful to date.
In the following pages I have tried to summarize much of what we know
about counseling methodology and about the major problems which peo­
ple face today. This book has been prepared as a resource tool for pastors
and other Christian counselors, as a study guide for lay helpers, and as
a textbook for use in seminaries and colleges. Besides being written for
these audiences, this is the reading book for a multi-media resource en­
titled The Christian Counselor's Library. The library contains twenty-
eight audio cassettes, a Counselor’s Manual, and counselee worksheets
(besides this book), and was produced by Educational Products Division
of Word, Incorporated, 4800 W. Waco Drive, Waco, Texas 76710.
In the past decade of writing, I have never before felt the support and
encouragement of so many people. Joey Paul and his colleagues at Word,
Incorporated, first invited me to do this project, gave constant encourage­
ment, and waited more or less patiently through several delays as the work
was completed. My secretary Marlene Terbush and my graduate assistants
Charles Romig and James Beesley helped in innumerable ways as did a
team of typists which included Kathy Cropp, Marilyn Secor, Lenore
Scherrer, Sharon Regan, Nancy Fister and Lora Beth Norton.
In addition each of the people who produced tapes made a significant
contribution. Their names are listed elsewhere. Dr. Kenneth Meyer, Pres­
ident of Trinity Evangelical Divinity School, my colleagues in the psy­
chology department, and my students all showed incredible flexibility
7
8 Preface
and encouragement, allowing me to juggle my schedule to complete this
project in the midst of a busy school year.
My family has always stood with me as I have written books, but I
have especially appreciated their support this time. My wife Julie and my
daughters Marilynn and Janice have tolerated my long absences with
good will and have given constant encouragement. In the weeks ahead
they will be getting more of my “prime time.”
The one person, however, who has made the greatest contribution to
this book is my administrative assistant, Lawrence M. Tomquist. Work­
ing full time on this project for several months, he did background re­
search, reviewed and critically evaluated each of the chapters as they
were written, and discussed many of the concepts with the clarity and in­
sight that I have come to expect. He never wrote any of the following
paragraphs but in terms of input and influence he is in many respects a
coauthor.
It is humbling to realize, however, that in all of this, we write, read,
and counsel only because God has given us the capacities and desires to
do so. This book goes forth, therefore, with thanks to God, with the
prayer that it will bring honor to Jesus Christ, and with the hope that the
Holy Spirit will use it to help many Christian counselors to care more
effectively for their counselees.
Gary R. Collins