Choosing to Heal: Using Reality Therapy in Treatment with Sexually Abused Children

188 Pages·2007·3.6 MB·English

by  Laura Ellsworth

C
hoosing to Heal
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C
hoosing to Heal
Using Reality Therapy in the Treatment
of Sexually Abused Children
Laura Ellsworth
New York London
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Routledge Routledge
Taylor & Francis Group Taylor & Francis Group
270 Madison Avenue 2 Park Square
New York, NY 10016 Milton Park, Abingdon
Oxon OX14 4RN
© 2007 by Taylor & Francis Group, LLC
Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis Group, an Informa business
Printed in the United States of America on acid‑free paper
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
International Standard Book Number‑10: 0‑415‑95614‑5 (Softcover)
International Standard Book Number‑13: 978‑0‑415‑95614‑7 (Softcover)
No part of this book may be reprinted, reproduced, transmitted, or utilized in any form by any electronic,
mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying, microfilming,
and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the
publishers.
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used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe.
Visit the Taylor & Francis Web site at
http://www.taylorandfrancis.com
and the Routledge Web site at
http://www.routledge.com
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To Jake and Jade,
the two best choices I ever made.
Love,
Mommy
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Contents
Foreword ix
Acknowledgments xi
About the Author xiii
Introduction xv
1 An Introduction to Choice Theory and Reality Therapy 1
2 Sexual Abuse and Coping Mechanisms 21
3 Survival and Self-Preservation 41
4 Connecting and Caring 55
5 Personal Empowerment 73
6 Freedom of Choice 89
7 Fun, Curiosity, and Sexual Development 105
8 Reporting Abuse: Ethics and Cultural Competence 119
References 131
Appendix: Therapeutic Tools and Worksheets 137
Index 163
vii
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Foreword
We seem more and more to be living in a “Well, it all depends” kind of
world. This attitude hasn’t developed necessarily by edict or legal action,
but is more likely to result from inaction on the part of people who rarely
want to take a firm stand on important issues. For example, the vast major-
ity of people usually decry the unbearable inhumanity of murder. When
one person willingly takes the life of one or more people, most of us will-
ingly agree to the imprisonment or even to taking the life of the convicted
murderer. However, in the best “Well, it all depends” world we can imag-
ine, during wartime many of these same good folks cheer the killer or kill-
ers, and take great pride in applauding their efforts. The nation’s highest
medal is often awarded to the most successful takers of life, because it all
depends on the circumstances. One of the strongest defenses in a murder
trial is when the defendant can prove that the killing was justified on the
grounds of self-defense.
Another popular “Well, it all depends” example is the taking of someone
else’s property. In one circumstance, this action is referred to as stealing
and is punishable by a fine or even imprisonment. In another circum-
stance, it is found to be legally acceptable and recognized as “the right of
public domain,” a kind of “What’s mine is mine and what’s yours is mine if
I can prove that I will use it for the good of a greater group.”
On the other side of this kind of thinking is a situation on which there is
nearly total agreement, the universally despised sexual abuse of and assault
on children. It is considered wrong in this society and all others. It is so
ix
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