Choosing Happiness: Keys to a Joyful Life

197 Pages·2002·4.32 MB·English

by  Alexandra Stoddard

o s i n g happi
o n
h e
c s
s

keys to a joyful life
alexandra stoddard
To Peter, Alexandra, and Brooke:
Your energy is pure light,
pure love, pure joy.
You know the secret of
“Love & Live Happy.”
Love & Live Happy
—inscription on the top of an antique box

contents
Epigraph iii
INTRODUCTION: Happiness as the First Principle of Life 1
part one
the happiness habit 5
CHAPTER 1 Happiness Now 7
CHAPTER 2 Who Am I? 26
CHAPTER 3 Give Energy, Get Energy 47
CHAPTER 4 Facing the Bad Stuff 76
part two
happiness day by day 99
CHAPTER 5 Paradise on Earth 101
CHAPTER 6 Dreams Come True 140
CHAPTER 7 Participating with Joy in the Sorrows of the
World 168
in closing
54 precious keys to happiness 177
“love & live happy” 182
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Other Books by Alexandra Stoddard
Credits
Cover
Copyright
About the Publisher
introduction
happiness as the first principle of life
Twenty-eight years ago, when my first book was published—
Style for Living: How to Make Where You Live You—I began touring to
give talks and have continued to do so ever since. My exposure to
people across the country over these years has given me the under-
standing that basically we all want the same thing—to be happy.
I have heard stories of love, loss, faith, hope, beauty, birth,
family, home, friendship; and courage, from good people try-
ing to live as well as humanly possible, often under trying cir-
cumstances.
Over the years happiness has emerged as the first principle
of life. Happiness, universally, is thought to be the most desir-
able of all things. I wanted to learn more about this elusive sub-
ject. I studied scientific research and began asking my audiences
and readers for their thoughts and experiences. I read widely
among philosophers of various disciplines. This is what I
learned: Happiness basically means well-being. It is always
good, and always a choice. Happiness is not automatic but must
be wisely pursued. We need to make the choice to be happy in a
particular situation, just as it is, and at a given moment. It
might not be a perfect moment but it is ours; we are breathing;
we are alive. We choose our happiness incrementally, moment
by moment, hour by hour. Now.
happiness as the first principle of life
Choosing happiness over sadness, indifference, or misery
forms a structure for our lives. Working toward the brighter
side is also beneficial in all we think and do.
Cultivating the vital energy of mindfulness will keep us
focused on happiness. We must pay attention to everything.
Everything matters because everything is interconnected, the
small with the big. The cell or seed is not small, because it is the
foundation of what becomes big. A child grows up to become a
world leader; an acorn becomes an oak tree.
Making happiness the first principle of our lives gives us
direction and purpose, and so increases our energy. Feeling
passionate about what we choose to do is central to happiness,
bringing fresh richness to our lives that gives birth to new
insights and more profound understanding. When we spend
our lives using our gifts, we are playing our part in the human
drama, the mysterious miracle of our being born and living
now, and we gain a vibrancy, a love of life, to share with others.
Painful times can, paradoxically, deepen our love of life—if
we remain focused on our commitment to choose happiness.
We all know what unhappiness is and how it feels. What some
people don’t necessarily know is how to deal with it and move
on. Unhappiness is real and has its place in healing. Often, we
learn about happiness from being unhappy. We need strategies
and tools to better cope with unhappiness, disappointment,
and pain. We can train our minds not to become defined by
unhappy circumstances beyond our control.
Happiness is subjective. We feel its energy and are conscious
of it personally. Likewise, we are personally responsible for
finding happiness through our choices and attitudes. I estimate
that approximately half of the ways to increase our happiness