Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness PDF
Preview Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness
Praise for Choose the Life You Want “With his customary insight, Tal Ben-Shahar lays out the elements of a happier life in short, thought-provoking chapters that will inspire readers both to think more deeply about their lives—and to take action to turn those ideas into reality.” —Gretchen Rubin, New York Times–bestselling author of The Happiness Project and Happier at Home “Ben-Shahar provides eloquent and clear strategies for living in the potency of daily awareness and choice. He takes the most common tests and traps we face as human beings and enables us to look clearly at options to makes us more alive, more mindful and happy. He challenges us to find our freedom to make the choice for the life we want.” —David Surrenda, PhD, CEO, Kripalu Center for Yoga & Health and author of Retooling on the Run “By offering 101 powerful yet actionable ways to live a more meaning-full life, Tal has done most of the heavy lifting for us. In the end, he leaves us with perhaps the simplest choice of all: Read this book!” —Scott A. Snook, PhD, Senior Lecturer of Business Administration, Harvard Business School Praise for Happier “Ben-Shahar, one of the most popular teachers in Harvard’s recent history, has written a personal, informed, and highly enjoyable primer on how to become happier. It would be wise to take his advice.” —Ellen J. Langer, author of Mindfulness and On Becoming an Artist “This fine book shimmers with a rare brand of good sense that is embedded in scientific knowledge about how to increase happiness.” —Martin E. P. Seligman, author of Flourish Praise for Being Happy “Ben-Shahar teaches that happiness isn’t as elusive as people think.” —Publishers Weekly “Being Happy drew me in immediately and kept me captivated for hours. Tal Ben-Shahar seamlessly weaves personal examples, Gladwellian stories, and illuminating research findings to impart a valuable message. Every person concerned with success—and that includes most of us—should read this book.” —Sonja Lyubomirsky, author of The How of Happiness “This book will inspire you to realize your innate potential for happiness and awaken the genuine aspiration to change, while avoiding the trap of perfectionism and the unrealistic demands of the ego.” —Matthieu Ricard, author of Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life’s Most Important Skill “In Happier, [Ben-Shahar] invited us to rethink our assumptions about happiness and what it depends on. Now, in Being Happy, he invites us to discard the fallacy that the pursuit of ‘perfect’ is the best indicator of success and happiness.” —Nathaniel Branden, author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem Also by Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD Happier: Learn the Secrets to Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment The Pursuit of Perfect: How to Stop Chasing Perfection and Start Living a Richer, Happier Life Even Happier: A Gratitude Journal for Daily Joy and Lasting Fulfillment Being Happy: You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Lead a Richer, Happier Life CHOOSE THE LIFE YOU WANT The Mindful Way to Happiness Tal Ben-Shahar, PhD New York Choose the Life You Want: The Mindful Way to Happiness Copyright © Tal Ben-Shahar, 2012 All rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in newspaper, magazine, radio, television, or online reviews, no portion of this book may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. The Experiment, LLC 220 East 23rd Street, Suite 301 New York, NY 10010-4674 www.theexperimentpublishing.com The Experiment’s books are available at special discounts when purchased in bulk for premiums and sales promotions as well as for fundraising or educational use. For details, contact us at [email protected]. Many of the designations used by manufacturers and sellers to distinguish their products are claimed as trademarks. Where those designations appear in this book and The Experiment was aware of a trademark claim, the designations have been capitalized. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Ben-Shahar, Tal. Choose the life you want : the mindful way to happiness / Tal Ben-Shahar. pages cm Originally published in 2012 as: Choose the life you want: 101 ways to create your own road to happiness Includes bibliographical references. ISBN 978-1-61519-195-6 (pbk.) — ISBN 978-1-61519-163-5 (ebook) 1. Happiness. 2. Self-actualization (Psychology) I. Title. BF575.H27B444 2014 158—dc23 2013050005 ISBN 978-1-61519-195-6 Ebook ISBN 978-1-61519-163-5 Cover design by Christine Van Bree Author photograph by Judy Rand Text design by Pauline Neuwirth, Neuwirth & Associates, Inc. Manufactured in the United States of America Distributed by Workman Publishing Company, Inc. Distributed simultaneously in Canada by Thomas Allen and Son Ltd. First printing January 2014 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 To my parents Contents Introduction 1. Choose to choose 2. Be mindful of the wonder 3. Take a step back 4. Think and act purposefully 5. Carry yourself with confidence and pride 6. Make a difference 7. Just do it! 8. Forgive 9. Experience your work as a calling 10. Actively learn the lessons of hardship 11. Appreciate and learn from those around you 12. Express and reveal 13. Seek the win-win 14. Savor life 15. Treat your body with respect 16. Create your own luck 17. Remind yourself of your true self 18. Commend and compliment 19. Be a benefit-finder 20. Listen with empathy and openness 21. Invest in experiences 22. Be open to suggestions 23. Say yes only when your vision is served 24. Accept reality and act on it 25. Bring humor and lightness 26. Focus on what truly matters 27. Focus and think 28. Move on 29. Be hopeful and optimistic 30. Make others feel good 31. Focus on strengths and abilities 32. Let go 33. Focus on process 34. Perceive hardship as temporary 35. Move 36. Open your mind and heart to learning 37. Connect to your values 38. Choose deliberately 39. Smile 40. See the glass as half full 41. Be present 42. Seize the moment 43. Do what you want to do 44. Learn from failure 45. Help and contribute 46. Breathe deeply and slowly 47. Respect those close to you 48. Maintain the strength of independence 49. Pursue your passion 50. Appreciate the good 51. Embrace silence 52. Be true to your self
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