Cheesie Mack Is Not a Genius or Anything

135 Pages·2016·1.97 MB·English

by  Cotler Steve

This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the
author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead,
events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Text copyright © 2011 by Stephen L. Cotler
All rights reserved. Published in the United States by Random House Children’s Books, a division
of Random House, Inc., New York.
Random House and the colophon are registered trademarks of Random House, Inc.
Visit us on the Web! www.randomhouse.com/kids
Educators and librarians, for a variety of teaching tools, visit us at
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Visit Cheesie at CheesieMack.com!
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Cotler, Stephen L.
Cheesie Mack is not a genius or anything / Stephen L. Cotler ; illustrated by Adam McCauley.
—1st ed.
p. cm. —(#1)
Summary: Ronald “Cheesie” Mack relates events he and his best friend, Georgie, experience as
fifth grade comes to an end and their summer plans are drastically changed, due in part to an
old, possibly valuable coin that may belong to the mysterious inhabitant of a place they call The
Haunted Toad.
eISBN: 978-0-37589570-8
[1. Friendship—Fiction. 2. Coins—Fiction. 3. Lost and found possessions—Fiction. 4. Conduct of
life—Fiction. 5. Recluses—Fiction. 6. Family life—Massachusetts—Fiction. 7. Massachusetts—
Fiction.] I. McCauley, Adam, ill. II. Title.
PZ7.C82862Che 2011
[Fic]—dc22
2009033329
Random House Children’s Books supports the First Amendment and celebrates the right to read.
v3.1
v3.1

Contents
Cover
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 0 The Story Is Over!
Chapter 1 My Boring Graduation Ceremony
Chapter 2 My Best Friend Screams
Chapter 3 Really Bad News
Chapter 4 The Mouse Plot
Chapter 4α Chee and the Taug
Chapter 5 The Haunted Toad and the Runaway Rodents
Chapter 6 Partially Expelled
Chapter 7 The Most Bloodthirsty Vampire in Massachusetts
Chapter 8 A Butt-Banging Escape
Chapter 8§ The Labyrinthine Torture Chamber Dungeon
Chapter 9 Busted by the Cops
Chapter 10 Class Party Trickery
Chapter 11 Stubs
Chapter 12 A Face in the Window … and the Evidence
Chapter 13 A Silhouette in the Dark
Chapter 14 Entering The Haunted Toad
Chapter 15 How Much Is One Cent Worth?
Chapter 16 Cheesie Tells Everything
Chapter 17 After the Story Is Over
This Is Not a Chapter.
Visit CheesieMack.com If…
Acknowledgments
About the Author
The Story Is Over!
T
his is the end of the book.
It was about a mysterious old coin, an evil sister (mine), a dead sister
(not mine), runaway rodents, a super-best friend, a fifth-grade
graduation disaster, some really unusual words (including a few I made
up), and The Haunted Toad.
I wrote it. I’m Ronald Mack. People call me Cheesie. You can probably
guess why.
I love mac ’n’ cheese, but I almost never eat it anymore, because if I
do, someone always says, “Cheesie Mack eats mac ’n’ cheese!” And I’ve
heard that two million times.
My name is in the title of this book because it’s about stuff that
happened to me, Cheesie Mack.
You probably noticed that this is Chapter 0. That’s because I already
wrote the whole story that comes after this. It begins in Chapter 1. I
started writing a couple of days after fifth grade ended and have been at
it nonstop ever since. And now I am writing this chapter last even
though you’re reading it first.
Everything in this book is true. I did not make anything up. I’m
definitely not a genius or anything, but I remember all the details
because I was there when everything happened. And if you’re a kid like
me who has adventures, there are going to be lots of details to
remember. Details about stuff like:
1. Abraham Lincoln’s head
2. The Point Battle
3. The Mouse Plot
4. Lawbreaking zoom chucklers
5. Ee-Gorg and Doctor Cheez
6. The letters V, D, and B
This adventure started the day before the last day of fifth grade. I hope
you like it. If you don’t or do or whatever, please go to my website and
tell me.
Signed:
Ronald “Cheesie” Mack (age 10 years and 10 months) CheesieMack.com
My Boring Graduation Ceremony
“I
shall now scrape the burnt flesh,” I said.
“Gross!” said my older sister, June.
We were in my backyard finishing dinner. My dad, my mom, and my
grandfather were relaxing at the picnic table. I was cleaning the
barbecue. That’s one of my chores. Cleaning charred chicken chunks off
the grill is greasy work, but I don’t mind, especially if I can bug my sister
while I do it.
I scraped the wire brush back and forth across the grill while sipping
my second can of cream soda, which IMO does not taste a bit like cream.
“We should not cook anything that has a face,” June said, piling dishes
on a tray. She’s a vegetarian. “So that means that we could cook you
because the ugly blob on the top of your neck is definitely not a face.”
My mother gave June a stop-it look, but June continued. “There are,
however, those huge flappers sticking out from the side of the blob—”
“Enough!” Mom said.
Okay, so my ears stick out. I don’t care. I won that one. One point for
Cheesie. And that is the last time I am going to talk about my ears in this
book.
My mother is an air-traffic controller. Her job is to keep track of
airplanes and tell them where to fly. She works in the control tower at
Logan Airport in Boston. She always brags that she can keep planes far
enough apart so they don’t crash into each other, but complains that she