Caring ministry: a contemplative approach to pastoral care

159 Pages·1999·6.26 MB·English

by  Sarah A. Butler

CARING
MINISTRY
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CARING
MINISTRY
A Contemplative Approach
to Pastoral Care
Sarah A. Butler
continuum
NEW YORK • LONDON
2004
The Continuum International Publishing Group Inc
15 East 26th Street, New York, NY 10010
Copyright © 1999 by Sarah A. Butler
"The Method of Centering Prayer" by Thomas Keating © 1995 St. Benedict's
Monastery
Unless otherwise indicated biblical quotations are from the New Revised Stan-
dard Version of the Bible, copyright 1989 by the Division of Christian Education
of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA. All rights
reserved.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval
system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechani-
cal, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the written permission of
The Continuum Publishing Company.
Printed in the United States of America
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Butler, Sarah A.
Caring ministry : a contemplative approach to pastoral care /
Sarah A. Butler.
p. cm.
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN 0-8264-1159-2
1. Pastoral psychology. 2. Contemplation. 3. Church work.
I. Title.
BV4012.B89 1999
253.5'2-dc21 98-51343
CIP
Contents
Acknowledgments 7
Introduction 9
1. Pastoral Care as Contemplative Journey 13
2. The Role of the Caregiver 22
3. The Gift of Listening 29
4. Focus on Feelings - Part 1 38
5. Focus on Feelings - Part 2 48
6. Compatibility Checking 56
7. Understanding Loss, Grief, and Death - Part 1 66
8. Understanding Loss, Grief, and Death - Part 2 74
9. Ministry with the Wisdom People 83
10. Care during Crisis 94
11. Substance Abuse, by Anonymous 101
12. Specialized Ministries 111
13. The First Caring Visit 128
14. Meditation on Suffering 137
15. The Grace to Say Goodbye 143
Appendix:
The Method of Centering Prayer, by Thomas Keating 151
Bibliography 157
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Acknowledgments
I want to express my deep appreciation to the community who
helped give birth to this text. Canon David Morgan, Margaret
Johnson, and Diane Smith, who have assisted me in teaching the
Caring Ministry program also provided valuable input and sugges-
tions. Diane Smith collaborated with me on "Understanding Loss,
Grief, and Death." None of this could have come about without the
computer wizardry of Robert Francisco, who spent countless hours
interpreting my handwriting. My thanks go to the staff of St. John's
Episcopal Cathedral and especially to the Very Reverend Charles E.
Kiblinger for making writing time possible. And finally I want to
thank all the caring ministers at St. John's for receiving this material
and claiming their own gifts of ministry.
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Introduction
"Do not be afraid, little flock, for it is your Father's good plea-
sure to give you the kingdom Make purses for yourselves thatv
do not wear out, an unfailing treasure in heaven, where no thief
comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is,
there your heart will be also." (Luke 12:32-34)
In this world of fast food, microwaves, seven-second commercials,
e-mail, high stress jobs, cell phones, and superhighways, one of the
best gifts we can offer each other is a listening heart. Many of
us already regard ourselves as good listeners, until, that is, we are
challenged to observe our own responses and attentiveness.
To listen to another is to carve out a safe sacred space where we
encounter the mystery of suffering in another human being. This in-
deed is a journey of courage that requires of us some preparation and
fortification. If we are to become effective caregivers, we need to fill
our purses with that which does not wear out and with that which
will serve us and others in this continuation of Christ's ministry.
We take a step of faith each time we walk into the hospital room
or the grief-stricken home. We do not know what we will find, but
God has gone before us and is already at work creating a space for
healing. Just as the spiritual director learns that his or her primary
function is "not to get in the way," the pastoral caregiver learns that
a vital piece of ministry is to discern when not to speak. The awe-
filled posture toward the other often requires less articulation and
fewer words on our part rather than more. Our ability to listen and
to set aside our compulsion to share what's on our minds reveals our
willingness to cooperate with the movement of the Holy Spirit and
to trust God's healing presence.
Caring ministry is about what we know and who we are. We share
the fruit of our intimate relationship with Christ. Our cultivation of