Candyfreak: A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of America

155 Pages·2004·0.93 MB·English

by  Steve Almond

CANDYFREAK
Also by Steve Almond
My Life in Heavy Metal
CANDYFREAK
A Journey through the Chocolate Underbelly of
America
STEVE ALMOND
ALGONQUIN BOOKS OF CHAPEL HILL 2004
Published by
ALGONQUIN BOOKS OF CHAPEL HILL
Post Office Box 2225
Chapel Hill, North Carolina 27515-2225
a division of
Workman Publishing
708 Broadway
New York, New York 10003
© 2004 by Steve Almond. All rights reserved.
Printed in the United States of America.
Published simultaneously in Canada by
Thomas Allen & Son Limited.
Design by Rebecca Giménez.
Portions of this book have appeared in slightly
different form in the Boston Phoenix.
“Chocolate Jesus,” words and music by Tom Waits and
Kathleen Brennan, copyright © 1999 by Jalma Music (ASCAP).
All rights reserved. Used by permission.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Almond, Steve.
Candyfreak : a journey through the chocolate underbelly of America /
by Steve Almond.—1st ed.
p. cm.
ISBN 1-56512-421-9 1.
Candy industry—United States. 2. Candy. 3. Chocolate.
4. Almond, Steve. I. Title.
HD9330.C653U513 2004
338.4′7664153′0973—dc22 2003070801
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
First Edition
TO DON RICCI ALMOND,
a freak of unparalleled wisdom and
sweetness. I love you, Pop.
See, only a chocolate Jesus
Will satisfy my soul.
TOM WAITS
CONTENTS
PROLOGUE
Some Things You Should Know about the Author
CHAPTER ONE
The Author Will Now Rationalize
Chocolate = Enabler
In Which an Unhealthy Pattern of Dependence Is Established
An Ill-Advised Discussion of Freak Economics
Night of the Living Freak
Mistakes Were Made
CHAPTER TWO
Caravelle: An Elegy
I Manny
Feeding the Beast
CHAPTER THREE
A Top-Secret Chocolate Situation
The Politics of the Rack
The Last Man in America with Black Jack Gum
CHAPTER FOUR
The Capo Di Tutti Freak
The Love Song of Ray Luthar Broekel
Welcome to the Boom
CHAPTER FIVE
There Are Men upon This Earth Who Tread Like Gods
Feuilletine, Revealed
Freak Fetish
CHAPTER SIX
The Official Dark Horse Freak of Philadelphia
Wee Willie and the Pop-a-Licks Rage
CHAPTER SEVEN
Southern-Fried Freak
Chocolate Haiku
Freak Retentive
CHAPTER EIGHT
In the Belly of the Freak
The Unstoppable Freak Energy of Mr. Marty Palmer
Southbound with the Hammers Down
CHAPTER NINE
The Candy Bar on Your Chin
The Marshmallow Parallax
A Depressing but Necessary Digression
CHAPTER TEN
Boise: Gateway to … Boise
Ladies and Gentlemen, the Idaho Spud
Huckleberry, Hounded
American Lunch
How Will the Spud Survive?
CHAPTER ELEVEN
The Past Is Just Ahead
Remember This Name: Banana-Zaba
CHAPTER TWELVE
A Second Depressing but Necessary Digression
A Little Hidden Bomb in My Idaho Spud
A Few Final Relevant Facts
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
FREAK APPENDIX