Canadian Adventist Messenger for 1998 - Vol. 67 - No. 02

28 Pages·2013·3.64 MB·English

ruary 19,:
HEART TO HEART
Keep on Pedaling!
days, weeks, months, and years have a must be aware that life is opportunity
way of speeding by. Time does not wait, and that the longer one lives the greater
so the aging process is continually tak- are the opportunities. Long life holds
ing place. Looking ahead as a child or the potential for deeper character devel-
young person, it seems as though our opment that will endure. So good old
allotted time of three score and ten years age should be the time when years of
is an eternity. Looking back from that experience and development of character
point in time, it seems but a few short should bring a rich harvest of fruitful-
years. ness to God, His church, and humanity
We have to be grateful for what in general.
medical research and technology have A very important fact is that life is
accomplished to prolong life. Many dis- responsibility. II Corinthians 5:10 and
eases have been combated by wonder Galations 6:7-9 reinforce the fact that
drugs. However, with all that the med- we are responsible to our Maker for how
ical field makes available, aging is we use His heavenly gifts and also to our
inevitable and before we know it we are fellow men for how we apply our talents
classed as senior to bring bless-
citizens. We can We need to put away the notion ings to others.
attempt to resist it, The world
that old age is nothing but a time
rebel and fight needs us even
against it, but it is in our old age.
when life has lost its usefulness.
beyond our power This should
Aging. Getting old. Retirement. to control. Even with hair The world needs us be a great source of
How do I relate to this? Can I grow old transplants, face lifts, tummy hope and meaning for
gracefully? With less than a year before tucks, and other cosmetic even in our old age. us. We can pass on
my retirement, I find myself pondering procedures, we cannot beat to others the wisdom
many questions similar to these. A few the aging process. derived from what life has taught us.
years ago, this stage of life seemed like I very much like the quote by John the Beloved wrote the gospel of
something that would never happen, but Claude Pepper I found in the 1998 John and the book of Revelation in his
here it is on my doorstep. So I ask ADRA appointment book, which says, old age. Paul wrote most of his epistles
myself, "How will I relate to all of this?" "Life is like riding a bicycle; you don't in his old age. Any one of us could pre-
There may be mixed emotions about fall off unless you plan to stop pedal- sent names of several individuals who in
this senior segment of life, but I will ing." our modern times have made notewor-
focus on the positive. First of all, I must How proud I have been to see how thy contributions in their senior years.
be most thankful I have had the privi- many Adventist retirees, from among How blessed that in the aging process
lege of living these many years. There church employees and laity, have kept we can claim God's promise that He will
has been the blessing of seeing my chil- on pedaling. Maybe not so vigorously, be with us always. We can continually
dren mature and establish homes of but perhaps a lot smarter with greater praise Him for how He has attended us
their own. My father did not have this knowledge and experience. There have throughout all the days of our life. Just
privilege; he died on the eve of my been important positions filled tem- exchange any fear of old age into an awe-
fourth birthday at the early age of 27. porarily, construction projects undertak- some reverence of our marvelous
Do you ever stop to contemplate the en, plus a myriad of other important Heavenly Father whose love is never end-
abundance of blessings our generous and jobs being accomplished by these dedi- ing and whose promises never change.
loving God has showered on you during cated people. Refuse to let life get stagnant, but utilize
your lifetime? One of these great bless- So aging doesn't have to be a nega- the rich opportunities of this period in
ings is life itself. Luke the physician, tive experience riddled with aches and your life — keep on pedaling! n
who must have understood a great deal pains and curtailed activities. We need
about all aspects of life, reminds us in to put away the notion that old age is
by Dave Crook, President
Acts 17:25 that life itself is truly a gift nothing but a time when life has lost its of the SDA Church in
from God. Life is very precious, but usefulness. Actually, all through life we Newfoundland/Labrador
2(cid:9) February 1998 Messenger
SUCCESSFUL AGING FEATU
Who's a Senior?
Adventures Around the World with Rose and Romi
Somehow,
the term "senior" doesn't seem quite accurate
when referring to Romi Villeneuve and Rose Connors. Yes, they're
both 69 years of age, but they certainly aren't slowing down and
taking up knitting. Missionary service in Africa, active roles in com-
munity services programs, helpful assistance for "real seniors," and
plans for golfing lessons are more their style.
Villeneuve was born in Windsor, Ontario, and arrived at Oshawa
Missionary College (now Kingsway College) at the tender age of 13.
Her roommate was Connors, also 13, who had left her home in
Halifax, Nova Scotia, to attend the school.
"We've been friends ever since," Villeneuve says.
Early Tragedies
However, those intervening years have been full of hard times as
well as adventure. Villeneuve was divorced at age 28, with two
daughters aged two and five. She says, "It was very difficult finan-
cially, and we lived very frugally for a long time."
Connors also had two children, and although the two women Then
lived on the same street in Oshawa for 15 years and both worked at
Maracle Press, they were too busy raising their families to have — Two young
much time for social interaction. teenagers meeting as
But when Connors' husband died in 1973, Villeneuve was one of students at Oshawa
the first to visit, and from that point on their friendship was renewed. Missionary College
Since their children were dose in age, the two families began sharing in the 1940s
activities, such as camping and attending family camp.
"We started with a tent, then moved to a tent trailer, and finally
ended up with a regular trailer," Villeneuve laughs.
Eventually, their children grew up and moved away from home,
and the women continued working and socializing.
Taking the Missionary Plunge
Suddenly, Connors, at age 55, left Oshawa to work at the Eastern
Africa Division office in Harare, Zimbabwe, in 1982. "I didn't apply
for the job," she says. "When talking to some friends who were mis-
sionaries, I happened to tell them, 'Oh, you lucky people.' That's all
it took. Before I knew it, I had received a call to work as a secretary
in the division office."
Villeneuve, never far behind, also got a "feeler call" a week or
two after Connors was approached, but she was a bit wary about
moving to Africa. So Connors headed off on her own.
Connors says, "I wrote and wrote and wrote to Romi about what
life was like in Zimbabwe and what I was doing at work."
Villeneuve borrowed a typewriter, started to learn typing again
after many years, and went to school briefly to "get a few pointers."
Now
She also attended the mission institute at Andrews University.
Finally, she took the plunge and departed for Africa seven months
— Two lively women
after Connors.
relishing life
They lived together in a three-bedroom apartment, and soon
with energy
adjusted to their new surroundings. Since it was not very safe to
to spare
February 1998 Messenger(cid:9) 3
walk around at night, the two women looked for other ways of get-
ting exercise and were instrumental in having a pool installed in the
missionary compound. (The pool was funded by the profits from
the orthodontic department.)
Hard at Work and Play
Before long, Connors' daughter and her husband also came to work
in Harare [as a dental hygienist and accountant, respectively]. "Once
they arrived, life opened up," Connors says. "With a man, we were
able to go places, and we did! Just before we had arrived, a secretary
in the office was murdered, so our activities had been pretty restrict-
ed up until then."
The family members and friends had wonderful adventures
together — visiting game parks, sleeping in tents with elephants
wandering around, listening to hippos as they went to sleep, taking
a canoe trip down the crocodile-infested Zambesi River and nearly
being tipped over by a hippo. They took trips down the coast of
South Africa, and also visited Malawi, Botswana, and the remote
Yuka Hospital in Zambia.
Connors hastens to add, "Don't think mission service is all fun
and games. Not at all! We spent many early mornings and late
Giving out bags of mealie meal nights working so we could take an occasional safari. I'm sure God
(ground corn) in the townships
led me to Africa. Going there had been the furthest thing from my
near Harare, Zimbabwe
mind, but it was a wonderful experience. However, I still don't
know how I did it!"
While on furlough, they took the long way home, visiting India,
Nepal, Thailand, Hong Kong, China, and Japan on the way. At
home in Canada, they collected more than 40 cartons of clothing
and sent them back to Africa.
"Clothing is in such demand there," they say. "We used to cut
up Canadian ladies' polyester slacks and make little dresses for the
children."
Connors had originally signed up for two years of service, but she
and Villeneuve ended up staying in Africa for six years. When they
returned to Canada — via Mauritius, Singapore, and the Philippines
— they decided to continue as roommates and share a home.
Life as Roommates
"In Africa, we found out that we could live together compatibly,
and it is cheaper back home to share accommodations," Connors
says. "When I originally left for Africa, I had sold my house, bought
a condo, and rented it out. But it was a disaster when we got home,
and we spent a year fixing it up." Connors retired early for medical
reasons, and Villeneuve began working at Signs Canada and later for
ADRA Canada. It was a new start in more ways than one: a year
into Villeneuve's stay in Africa, all of her stored household posses-
sions were destroyed in a fire; Connors also lost a considerable
Connors meets a giraffe in
amount of her belongings.
Nairobi, Kenya, while her
daughter and family look on They say there are more pro's than con's to living together — it's a
big help financially, they always have someone to talk to, they have
many mutual friends, they do most — but not all — activities
together (Villeneuve sometimes sleeps in while Connors goes for an
early morning swim!), and they share the household duties. Luckily,
Connors likes cooking entrees, while Villeneuve specializes in desserts!
They hadn't tired of traveling, so during the next few years they
continued to travel as much as possible — taking three cruises; visit-
4(cid:9) February 1998 Nleencirr
ing Australia, where they snorkeled on the Great Barrier Reef and
climbed Ayers Rock; and hopping over to Guam, where Connors'
brother was a volunteer doctor.
They continue to feel a close connection to Africa, and have
attended three reunions in the United States of former missionaries
to Africa. Connors returned to Africa last year to assist a friend who
is involved in welfare work.
"She's working at a remote school with no electricity, water, or
phone," Connors says. "We bathed every morning in a bucket. She
teaches the women sewing, crochet knitting, and healthful living,
and gives out clothes (sent by ADRA Canada) in exchange for
work. By the way, if anybody is interested in doing volunteer work
in Africa, I know where you can really fill a need!"
Approach to Life Both Unchanged and Changed
By now, Villeneuve is also retired, but neither she nor Connors
spend much time thinking about aging.
"I live a day at a time, it doesn't bother me," Villeneuve says.
"I have three grandsons who I'm always eager to see. I do a bit of
cross-country skiing, we're taking up golf in the spring, and we
spend most of our summers at our trailer by the lake. We plan a
Connors returned to Africa
lot of activities, so we always have things to look forward to —
briefly in early 1997 to assist
especially trips in the winter!"
a friend working at a school
Connors says, "I also have four grandchildren, whom I live for. in a remote area
I have a special bond with Michelle, whose birth we both witnessed
when she was delivered in Africa by Dr. Allan Handysides. When
people retire and say they don't have any interests, it doesn't have to
be that way. We keep more than busy working for community ser-
vices and doing things for older friends who are living in seniors'
apartments."
They also belong to the local Adventist retirees club. The group
has been active since the early 1980s, and currently has approxi-
mately 100 members between the ages of 60 and 90. Members who
don't have families nearby especially appreciate the companionship.
The group takes tours of interesting places, such as Niagara Falls
and Algonquin Park, and puts on four banquets each year. As well,
they sponsor a student in Asia.
When asked about the needs of people who are aging, Villeneuve
says, "The biggest need is definitely friendship. People in seniors'
homes can be very lonely. People have said to us, 'You two are so
lucky.' I suppose we do take each other for granted, that there is
always someone to go places with and share activities with."
While discussing aging and changes in spiritual outlook,
Connors says, "When you're younger, you think you have forever.
But later in life, you become less frivolous; these days I feel less like
missing a church service. I do think more about death and being
ready, and I realize that each day we live is one day closer to the
Villeneuve (with Kathy and Michelle)
Lord's coming."
boards a dugout canoe in Nepal
Looking back on her experiences to date, Villeneuve says, "I've to go looking for tigers
enjoyed traveling, seeing beautiful and interesting places, and meet-
ing people." Looking ahead, she continues, " But I am most anxious
to travel to the Holy City to meet my Savior. My wish is to do
whatever the Lord has in mind for me to help in finishing His work
so we can go home soon to be with Him and our loved ones." n
by Shelley Nolan, Messenger editor
February 1998 Messenger(cid:9) 5
Shelley Nolan,
enger ediiOr
"What kind of serf o(cid:9) izen confusion o(cid:9) and pur- pleasure and comfort.
do you think you will be?" ask the ose of human life — pa titularly in old • At the second level the person
leader of our small group. age."2 devotes time and energy to the
We pondered. But if we take some time to examine realization of his or her potential.
"I see myself traveling around the our experiences and history, we find that Personal growth, creativity, and
world, enjoying the freedom of retire- more individuality and personal legacies self-actualization are examples.
ment." have accumulated in us than perhaps we • At the third level the individual
"I'd love to be surrounded by a clus- had thought. Psychology and social sci- moves beyond the realm of self-
ter of grandchildren, sharing the wisdom ence researchers have spent decades ana- interests into areas that involve
I've accumulated over the years." lyzing various aspects of personal value service to others and dedication to
"I'd still be skipping down the side- systems and aging, and the frameworks a larger societal or political cause.
walk, picking crab apples and tossing they have developed can help bring • At the fourth level the individual
them at the neighbor's dog." structure to our self-evaluation process. entertains values that transcend
The exercise revealed a lot about our V.E. Franld defines three broad individuals and encompass cosmic
individual personalities, and illustrated sources of meaning:3 meaning and ultimate purpose.
how people find enjoyment and fulfill- 1.c reative — what one accomp-
ment in a multitude of different ways. lishes in terms of creative work, Time and Meaning
Researchers Allport, Vernon and art, or scholarly endeavor "We feel that a complete understanding
Lindzey developed a scale to measure 2. experiential — what one derives of personal meaning is not possible
six types of values and motives. The from beauty, truth, or love without taking into account the flow of
theoretical person emphasizes the dis- 3. attitudinal — what one derives time," Reker and Wong state. "Meaning
covery of truth; the chief aim in life is to from reflections on negative from the past is discovered primarily
acquire and systematize knowledge. The aspects of life such as pain and through life review or reminiscence.
economic person is concerned with suffering Present meaning is primarily based on
utilities and profits. The aesthetic per- These sources can be further orga- commitments, activities, and pursuits.
son considers beauty and charm as the nized into such categories as personal The basis for future meaning is opti-
highest value. The social type values relationships, personal growth, mism — the anticipation of desired
altruism. The political person is mainly achievements, altruism, creativity, events, achievements, and attainment of
interested in the pursuit and exercise of religion, and legacy. important life goals.
power. The religious person tends to be "Thus, reminiscence, commitment,
mystical and transcendental.' Breadth and Depth and optimism provide a constant flow of
For most people, an overall sense of per- meaning that sustains and enlivens an
Sources of Personal Meaning sonal meaning is derived from more than otherwise mundane and often painful
As each year passes, it is common to one source. Degree of personal meaning existence. The amount of contribution
look back at where we have come from in life is defined as the total amount of from these three sources will vary accord-
and to take stock of our lives to date. meaning derived from all available ing to the stage of one's life cycle."6 •
Depending not only on where we are on sources. Reker and Wong articulate this
Allport, G.W., Vernon, P.E., & Lindzey, G
the age continuum but also on our men- as the breadth postulate an individual's
(1951). Study of values: A scale for measuring
tal outlook, we may feel that our best degree of personal meaning will increase the dominant interests in personality. Boston:
experiences are either yet to come or in direct proportion to his or her diversi- Houghton-Mifflin.
have largely come and gone. During fication of sources of meaning.4 2(cid:9) Cole, T.R. (1984). Aging, meaning, and well-
being: Musings of a cultural historian.
mid-life crises and again in old age, peo- At the same time, Reker and Wong
International Journal ofAging and Human
ple may suddenly feel that their lives also advance the depth postulate: an
Development, 19, 329-336.
haven't amounted to much. individual's degree of personal meaning 3(cid:9) Franld, V.E. (1963). Man's search fir meaning.
T.R. Cole, a cultural historian, has will increase in direct proportion to his New York: Washington Square Press.
pointed out that the spectacular gains in or her commitment to higher levels of 4(cid:9) Reker, G.T. & P. Wong. Aging as an
Individual Process, Psychological Concepts and
longevity through scientific and techno- meaning.5
Theories ofAging.
logical progress have been accompanied • At the lowest leveh we see self- 5 Ibid.
by "widespread spiritual malaise . . . and preoccupation with hedonistic 6 Ibid.
6(cid:9) February 1998 Messenger
SUCCESSFUL AGING FEATURE
Cornelius and Emma Schijff
Lessons from Opa and Oma:
A Granddaughter's Memories
W
hile growing up, I had only one set of grandparents. Oma spoke English, we all learned a little Dutch from them.
I lost my grandfather almost 11 years ago, and my Every time the entire family gathered close to New Year's, we
grandmother several months ago. But as a child, I celebrated with oliebollen and bokkepootjes, two traditional
was fortunate that they lived close to my home, so I was able Dutch treats. I know it made them happy to see us take pride
to see them often. Some of my fondest memories are of mak- in our heritage.
ing the traditional Saturday evening visit to "Opa and Oma's They were a great example of faithfulness to God. Every
place" (Grandpa and Grandma's place). meal was preceded by prayer and was closed with a short
They lived most of their lives in the Netherlands, and dur- Scripture reading. Although the readings were in Dutch and I
ing the hardships of World War II, they worked very hard to was unable to understand most of it, there was always a great
provide for their eight children. They continued to do so after sense of reverence for God's Word. They also showed faithful-
immigrating to Canada and taking up residence on a farm in ness by regularly attending church and paying tithe. Occasion-
southwestern Ontario. Their work ethics were among the ally, the entire family would attend church with them, and it
strongest I've ever witnessed, and it was no wonder that their was wonderful to see the pride on their faces. Although we
farming operation became quite successful After retiring, they were of different denominations, my grandmother came to the
remained very active. Oma busied herself with cross-stitching, baptism of my brother and I, realizing what an important part
knitting socks for everyone, and entertaining guests, while Opa of our lives this step was.
could be found tending the vegetable garden or tinkering in his Most importantly, my grandparents taught us the strength
tool shop. of family. Our Saturday evening visits were a time for fellow-
All of the grandchildren benefitted from their generosity. ship with other aunts, uncles, and cousins. Their family grew
Every year I looked forward to my birthday, when I knew I quite large, with seven children, seven in-laws, and 21 grand-
would be receiving a one hundred dollar cheque from Opa and children, so often their house was quite full. But we were
Oma. These gifts certainly add up when you have 21 grand- always welcome, and each person felt a sense of belonging
children! As well, Opa made each of his grandsons a very large when we saw how happy Opa and Oma were to see us and
wooden toolbox (perhaps to inspire them to take up wood- what an interest they took in our lives. Not only in times of
working). And for each of his granddaughters, he made a happiness, but also when hardships occurred, the family always
wooden doll's bed, complete with a canopy, blankets, and gathered around my grandparents to offer support to one
pillows sewn by Oma. She also made each grandchild a person- another.
alized, cross-stitched wall hanging, a project which took years With the recent passing away of our last grandparent, the
to complete. family dynamics have had to adjust greatly. Without a central
They also made sure that we were aware of our heritage. figure, family gatherings aren't quite the same. But with time,
I remember them telling me stories of what life was like in we are coping with our loss by relying, as we have been taught,
Holland so I could better understand where my family's roots on the strength of family. And we look forward to that glorious
came from and so I could better appreciate my generation's day when we can all be together again. n
luxuries. All of their grandchildren were born and raised in
by Melanie Vermeer
either Canada or the United States, and although Opa and
Toronto, Ontario
February 1998 Messenger(cid:9) 7
SUCCESSFUL AGING FEATURE
T
he report is due tomorrow." Privacy Important
"Mom, did you forget? The class
Nancy tries to give her husband as much
play is Friday, and I need ..." private time as possible. Whenever he
travels out of town on business, she
"Mrs. Adams, your mother needs..."
invites her mother to stay with her. This
"Honey, when are you going to sit
way she can spend less time with her
down?" mother when her husband is home
"Sandwich generation" refers to without feeling guilty.
middle-aged couples with their own Sometimes the easiest way to care for
children, some living at home and some seniors is to have them move in with
needing financial support at college, and you. But sharing living space results in
Caught a parent or parents who also need their tighter living quarters and less privacy
attention and care — sometimes more. and independence for every family
in the Providing care for older loved ones member. If a house is a snug fit for two
represents a growing national concern parents and two growing children, how
that will touch nearly every American can it accommodate another adult or
family.* Today, more than 8 million even two? Do you add on, move, or
older Americans need assistance with make do?
personal care — washing, dressing, Still, when Margaret's parents moved
cooking, housecleaning, shopping, and in, she found it was an opportunity for
driving. This care is still something members of the three generations to
families expect to do and want to do, spend time together in a way that will
but it requires sacrifices of time, money, add dimension to their future memories.
energy, and peace of mind. Although it was a big adjustment for her
Betty spent her days juggling a part- children, and her older daughter had to
time accounting job, trips to music give up her spacious bedroom for her
lessons and the orthodontist for her grandparents, Margaret feels their lives
children, and driving her widowed have been enriched.
mother, who lives 45 minutes away, to
All Affected
the ophthalmologist and the doctor.
Over stressed and exhausted, Betty was Isolation from familiar surroundings
forced to find a different solution. She may be a challenge for the displaced
now gives her mother one full day a elders. They will miss their friends and
week, every Tuesday. This is the day her former neighbors, their church, the
mother schedules her medical appoint- comfort of their old neighborhood.
by Gail Morrissey, ments, grocery shops, gets her hair "But," Margaret's mother points out, "I
a teacher and writer done, and visits with her daughter. Betty have my kids here to play with. I'm
in Wayland, Massachusetts calls it Mom's Day Out. happy living with them. It's wonderful!"
8(cid:9) February 1998 Messenger
Every member of the family is affect- cult to find someone, but respite care is Peace of Mind
ed by the new living arrangement. sometimes available at no charge
If your elder is frail but living indepen-
Because a woman is most often the care- through nonprofit or voluntary agencies.
dently, a few simple safeguards can ease
giver for the children, parents, and in- The absence of sibling support can
anxiety and avert crises. Debbie's chil-
laws, elder care can cause her to lose the bring additional strain into the home. If
dren gave her a "personal emergency
freedom she expected to have as her kids a brother or sister does practically noth-
response system" that sends distress sig-
grew older. She may have to turn down ing and offers to do nothing, ask. David
nals when an elder can't reach the
a job opportunity that would require Knotts, a psychologist in suburban
phone. She thought it was a ridiculous
travel. Children may resent not having Philadelphia, confirms the importance
waste of money, until she fell in the
Mommy readily available. But they will to caregivers of coming out and asking
bathroom. Now it provides a sense of
reap benefits as well, including the extra for the help that is needed. "Too often
security to both her and her children.
attention of their grandparents. Hus- we don't ask for help, thinking that
Carol is an elderly widow who lives
bands may be dissatisfied with the impact because it has to do with family rela-
alone. Her neighbors are her children's
on social activities or intimacy. This can tions, 'you ought to know that I need
eyes and ears. If Carol's bedroom win-
place added pressure on a caregiver who help,' and then feel resentful when it
dow curtains aren't opened by 8:30 in
is already overloaded. doesn't happen. Don't just say 'I need
the morning, it is a sign that something
help.' Say 'I need you to watch Mom on
is wrong.
Quality Time Saturday while I . . .' or 'I need you to
Elle calls her parents every morning,
Communication between husband and have Dad stay with you two weeks this
and they call her in the late afternoon.
wife requires time together — quality summer so we can take a trip with the
This way she knows what is going on in
time that is planned, not just opportuni- children.' Be specific," Knotts contin-
their lives, if they are feeling well, or if
ties. Couples need to know what is going ues. "The sibling who lives in a distant
they need anything. It is reassuring for
on privately with each other. Just as you city doesn't really know what kind of
them all.
schedule your children's lives around help you need."
Feeling overburdened and on edge?
school, music lessons, sports, and ortho- Trying to balance work, child care,
Talk to your pastor. He or she will listen
dontists, and your parents' time for doc- and elder care can be a challenge. But
and advise you about local support
tors' appointments and shopping trips, what if you are an only child and your
groups and other members of your con-
schedule time for yourself as a couple. parent or parents live miles away? Long-
gregation who have worked through
Be alert for signs of stress — bicker- distance caregivers, as they are called,
similar problems. Talking and sharing
ing, short tempers, sleepless nights — walk a fine line between doing too
concerns and solutions can reduce your
and ease the situation by finding some much for the elder out of guilt or poor
stress level and provide some helpful
"special" time alone together. It might communication, or not enough.
advice as well.
be something as simple as a daily walk Marianne's mother wanted her to move
Yes, it is the time of your life when
around the block after dinner. Or set back home to care for her. When Mari-
you are in the middle, caught between
aside a night as a time apart. One night anne suggested her mother move to a
your responsibilities to your parents,
a week, no matter what, Margaret and retirement community near her instead,
your children, and each other. Still, in
her husband go out and do something she was accused of abandoning her.
life most of us do what we have to do.
together. "If you are caring for your parent, It is simply a matter of love. n
Too often couples curtail their social- you are not neglecting or abandoning
izing with other couples. Instead of her, even though she may tell you you
going out, they invite other couples over. are not doing enough," Knotts says. "A
Their parents assume they are included patient in a nursing home may feel
and automatically join in. Or, afraid to abandoned, even though her children *(cid:9) This article originally appeared in the
leave the elders alone, the couple goes telephone and visit regularly. This par- Januaiy/Februapy 1997 issue of
out only in shifts. If this is the case, get a ent's definition of not being neglected is Vibrant Life; therefore, the statistics
sitter for your parents. It may be diffi- that she live with one of her children." quoted are from American sources.
February 1998 Messenger(cid:9) 9
Snow softly slipped from the • 51 would be female, 49 male terrible noises as we got onto the bus.
sky. He was bundled up in old clothes, • 70 would be non-white, 30 white When we got to the downtown core of
and his hair was matted under his base- • 70 would be non-Christian, Toronto, the students, four sponsors,
ball cap. It appeared that he was carry- 30 Christian and a bus driver piled onto the sidewalk.
ing all of his personal belongings in a • 50% of the entire world's wealth Sandwiches were divided as evenly as
grungy backpack and army bag; a dirty would be in the hands of only six possible among four groups of students,
sleeping bag was rolled up and tucked people, and all six would be citizens who headed in different directions in
under his arm. I was cold and hungry. It of the United States search of recipients.
looked like he was, too. I noticed a few • 80 would live in substandard housing My group encountered our first street
teeth were missing as he started to talk • 70 would not be able to read person while we walked through a park
to me. His frozen breath smelled. • 50 would suffer from
"Could you spare some change today, malnutrition
Miss?" I looked him over again. Yep, he • one would be near death,
looked like he could use some help. one would be newborn
"Sir, I can't help you with money, but • only one person would
these students with me are handing out have a college education
sandwiches today. Would you like one?" • no one would own a
He looked very puzzled by what I said. computer
Snow continued to settle on us, making
me look old, making him seem ancient. When one considers our
The students silently shifted beside me. world from such an incredibly
Shannon held out a brown paper bag compressed perspective, the
1 — Kingsway College
that contained a couple of sandwiches. need for tolerance and understanding
students spend the night on
The stranger looked at it. becomes glaringly apparent.
the floor during their Fasting
"You have sandwiches?" for Friends campaign
"Yes, we've got lots. Please take some Fasting for Friends Campaign
if you like." That night, the girls slept in the gymna-
"Thank you, oh thank you very sium while the guys crashed in the staff 2 — While still fasting,
much. God bless you!" And with that he lounge. Everyone slept on the hard the students prepare sack
took the brown bag and moved on. floor, which felt more rigid as the night lunches and try to ignore
their hunger pangs
wore on. Very few people
Putting the World in Perspective
awoke the next day feeling
It had all started the day before. At 1 p.m. sufficiently rested, and every-
on Friday, November 21, nearly 50 stu- one complained of being
dents from Kingsway College embarked cold during the night. By
on a 30-hour Fasting for Friends cam- now, everyone was feeling
paign. Dramatically increasing their fluid really hungry, and not get-
intake, all of the participants fasted con- ting much sleep didn't help.
tinuously for 30 hours. For vespers that Still, the students found the
evening, I gave a short talk on what it energy to enjoy a fantastic
means to be poor. Sabbath School and church
Ponder this: if we could shrink the service.
earth's population to a village of precise- At 1 p.m., precisely 24 hours after As we continued on, I couldn't help
ly 100 people, with all existing human they had started the fast, sandwiches noticing how cold it was. The students
ratios remaining the same, it would look were packed into lunch bags and piled in my group shivered continuously
something like this: into boxes that were loaded onto the despite the brisk walking pace I had set.
• there would be 57 Asians, 21 Kingsway bus. It was torture to see all We gave away a few more lunch bags,
Europeans, 14 from the western those sandwiches and still not be able to but it was a pretty tough thing to do.
hemisphere (north and south), and eat anything. How does one assess a complete
eight Africans My stomach really started to make stranger's need for food and offer it
10(cid:9) February 1998 Messenger