Can We Start Again?: The Patterns & Techniques of Neuro-Linguistic Programming Applied to Business Presentations and Interactions

225 Pages·2007·6.88 MB·English

by  Daryll Scott

can we
start
again?
Can We Start Again? is a practical guide to the use of NLP in
specific business contexts such as presentations. public speaking,
and negotiation. It explains the science of NLP in layman's terms,
supported with numerous examples and anecdotes, and provides an
easy-to-use framework for the development and implementation of
the skills necessary to put NLP into practice.
Published with the support of John Grinder, co-founder of NLP, this
is the first British text to produce direct and authoritative guidance on
the effective implementation of New Gode NLP in business.
"Daryll Scott has managed something startling to me. In a strong,
clear voice, he has developed a description of the New Code NLP
patterning that he has worked diligently to master - the patterning
developed by Carmen Bostic St Clair and my. .1 f - that Is fresh and
quite distinct from what I would have proposed. 1_leome his
contribution to the growing movement to position N_ Code NLP In
the business community and In the larger context."
John Grinder
Co-creator of NeurrHinguistic Programming (HLP).
and Craator of New Code HLP
"Darylliaya out NLP patterning In a way that will enable readers from
different backgrounds to learn NLP applications that will be of
enormous value In Improving performance across a range of business
activities."
M,ch ••, Canoll
ITA Co-Founder. Founder of the HLP Academy.
and HLP Master Trainer
Daryll Scott is a certified HLP trainer with over 10 years'
experience of business leadership and consulting. He is c0-
founder and joint managing director of the training organisation,
Use Your Noggin Ltd, which includes among its clients major
organisations such as Marks & Spencer. Baker Tilly. HBOS,
Barc/ays and Microsoft.
UK: £14.99
Ma~flment Books 2000 Lid
_ 1T'i:I2000com
Daryll Scott has managed something startling to me - in a strong
clear voice, he has developed a description of the New Code NLP
patterning that he has worked diligently to master - the patterning
developed by Carmen Bostic St Clair and myself - that is fresh and
quite distinct from what I would have proposed.
It strikes me as working very nicely for the specific application
that Daryll has in mind - namely, an introductory book on the New
Code NLP that is designed primarily for business people. There are
many differences of perception that I could point to that
distinguishes Daryll's perceptions about New Code NLP from my
own however the point here is NOT uniformity but getting the
message into the business community in an effective form. And in
this, I judge Daryll's efforts to be very effective.
I welcome his contribution to the growing movement to
position New Code NLP in the business community and in the
larger context.
John Grinder
Co-creator of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Creator of New Code NLP
Bonny Doon, California
When I started working with John Grinder and Carmen Bostic St
Clair, we sought to initiate higher standards in the field of Neuro
Linguistic Programming. This led us to design and deliver a
completely new 'Trainers Training' and launching the ITA. Daryll
Scott, I am pleased to say is one of the gifted people who is
member of the ITA and is an innovative trainer and writer who is
bringing the latest NLP ideas to the business field. In Can we Start
Again?, Daryll lays out NLP patterning in a way that enables
readers from different backgrounds to learn NLP applications that
will be of enormous value in improving performance across a
range of business activities.
Michael Carroll
ITA Co-Founder
Founder NLP Academy
NLP Master Trainer
CAN WE START AGAIN?
The Patterns & Techniques of
Neuro-Linguistic Programming
applied to business presentations
and interactions
Daryl/Scott
Copyright © Daryll Scott 2007
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or
transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying. recording. or
otherwise without the prior permission of the publishers.
First published in 2006 by Management Books 2000 Ltd
Forge House, Limes Road
Kemble. Cirencester
Gloucestershire, GL7 6AD, UK
Tel: [phone]
Fax: [phone]
Email: [email protected]
Web: www.mb2000.com
This book is sold subject to the condition that it shall not, by way of trade or otherwise. be lent,
resold, hired out, or otherwise circulated without the publisher's prior consent in any form of binding
or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition including this
condition being imposed upon the subsequent purchaser.
British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data is available
IBN 9781852525460
Acknowledgements
There are many people that I would like to thank for their
contribution to this 'accidental' project. They include:
Michelle Rhodes for an excellent introduction to NLP.
Carmen Bostic St Clair for challenging a group of NLP trainers to be
flexible and creative in getting The New Code out there.
Martine Snow, Craig Killick, Jo Harris, Anthony Denton and
Dominic Scott for their support and encouragement.
Hiran Ilangantileke and Arton Baleci for valuable feedback -
metaphoric and specific respectively.
My wife Helen for her continued, unswerving belief in my every
endeavour.
My parents for providing a childhood environment where flexibility
and unconventional thinking were encouraged.
Dr John Grinder for the extraordinary and unexpected level of
guidance, challenge and support -I am humbled by his genius and
grateful for his attention.
I would like to dedicate this book to my business partner Ben
Houghton for his support and the many hours spent provoking and
eliciting from me this presentation of the patterns of NLP. Without
Ben, this book would not have happened.
5
Contents
Introduction ........................................................................................ 11
Starting out ................................................................................... 11
The dreaded question ................................................................... 12
So why am I reading this book? What's it all about? ................... 15
How should I work through this book? ......................................... 20
So what's the big idea? ................................................................. 21
As if. .............................................................................................. 24
1. The Science Bit. ............................................................................... 31
How real is real? .......................................................................... 44
All we can experience is FA .......................................................... 46
This does not make sense ...... yet .................................................. 47
Getting yourself in a 'state' .......................................................... 54
Summary ....................................................................................... 61
2. Making a Connection ••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• 63
How are you getting on?. .............................................................. 65
My kind ofp eople ......................................................................... 66
What are you lookingfor? ............................................................ 70
Did you see it? .............................................................................. 75
How do you do it? ......................................................................... 76
Sudoku? ........................................................................................ 77
What does it mean? ....................................................................... 78
I see what you are saying. ............................................................ 80
Lost in Translation ........................................................................ 84
Answer the question. .. .................................................................. 85
Spell Check; Language Check; Send. ........................................... 86
What do I do with this? ................................................................. 88
What I need to see/talk about/get is .............................................. 89
Homework ..................................................................................... 89
Summary ....................................................................................... 92
7
Can We Start Again?
3. Body language ................................................................................. 93
An interesting topic ....................................................................... 95
VAK Physiology ............................................................................ 99
Handy tricks .................................................................................. 99
4. Investigative Listening. ................................................................. 103
Are words a blessing or a curse?. ............................................... 105
Are you a Mind Reader? ............................................................. 116
There's a lot going on ................................................................ 120
Why? Because ............................................................................ 128
Another way of unpacking it. ...................................................... 140
The Farrelly Model ..................................................................... 141
Summing up ................................................................................ 145
5. Influential Speaking ..................................................................... 147
What is influential speaking? ...................................................... 149
To pre-frame this chapter ........................................................... 150
Framing your communication. .................................................... 151
The Milton Model. ....................................................................... 162
The upside-down Meta Model ..................................................... 165
Putting it together ....................................................................... 183
Summary ..................................................................................... 184
6. Negotiation .................................................................................... 185
One 'chunk' at a time .................................................................. 191
Chunking Questions .................................................................... 195
A Negotiation model ................................................................... 197
Summary ..................................................................................... 200
7. Presentations ................................................................................. 201
School Days ................................................................................ 203
Utilization ................................................................................... 204
Not my style ................................................... , ............................. 204
What are they thinking? .............................................................. 205
How can you talk to everyone? ................................................... 207
Delivery. ...................................................................................... 213
8. Self Application ............................................................................. 215
Re-visiting the map ..................................................................... 217
We can start again! ..................................................................... 217
8
Contents
So where do you think you're going? ......................................... 218
How will you know when you get there? .................................... 219
Watch outfor the story teller. ..................................................... 221
Another Point of View ................................................................. 223
What prevents you? .................................................................... 226
Check your own attribution of meaning. ..................................... 226
Question your own modal operators. .......................................... 227
Add options ................................................................................. 227
Listen to your own advice? ......................................................... 228
Coaching Behavioural Change ................................................... 229
Moving on ................................................................................... 234
Bibliography ...................................................................................... 235
9
Introduction
Starting out
I don't know if you have had the experience of learning to drive. If not,
perhaps you can imagine what it might be like ...
I remember the morning of my first driving lesson. It was my 17th
birthday.
It was a bright July morning, the cloudless sky was a beautiful bright
blue colour and the street outside was quiet. I sat in the comfortable
chair next to the living room window and watched the empty street,
listening for the driving instructor's car. My knee bounced with a
nervous excitement, I could hardly contain the enthusiastic energy I was
feeling as the driving instructor's car came into view.
My driving lessons were a birthday gift from my parents and for
some time, like many teenage boys, learning to drive had become the
most important thing in my life. I would talk about driving at any
opportunity. I was aware of every 'L' plate on the road (and there were
so many of them at the time). My every attention was on learning to
drive and the feeling of freedom that I had attached to it.
The first ten minutes of the lesson were a kind of introduction to the
controls of the vehicle and the conditions of the lessons, what I would
do, what the instructor would do, how that would work and a few
possible scenarios as examples.
Then I was able to set off slowly, swerving from left to right with the
engine screaming and the car lurching forwards as if attempting to vomit
out its engine.
There was so much to remember and do all at once - it felt
impossible, and awkward. I found it difficult to imagine ever being able
to drive a car effortlessly.
It occurs to me now that at no point before setting off on our journey
did the instructor say, "Which roads will you be driving on?"
When you learn to drive, the intention is that you reach a level of
competence so that you can drive on any road. Most roads have very
11