Building Self-Esteem in Children and Teens Who Are Adopted or Fostered PDF
Preview Building Self-Esteem in Children and Teens Who Are Adopted or Fostered
“Dr. Sue Cornbluth’s keen insights will empower parents as they attempt B u to love, nurture, and correct their children’s hurt lives. Anyone parenting i l d or considering parenting a foster child or adopting a traumatized child i n Building Self-Esteem g should read this work.” S in —Gregory C. Keck, Ph.D., Founder/Director of the Attachment and e l Bonding Center of Ohio and author of Parenting Adopted Adolescents f- E s Children Teens t e “This book offers important insight into why adopted and foster teens e m and struggle with self-esteem and offers valuable strategies when helping these i teens. Cornbluth’s book is required reading for anyone who is working n C with these children, and is a great resource.” h Who Are Adopted Fostered —John DeGarmo, speaker, trainer, foster parent and author of ild or r The Foster Parenting Manual and Keeping Foster Children Safe Online e n a How do you give your adopted or fostered child the best n d opportunities to grow up to be happy, healthy, and successful? T e e n In this accessible book, national childhood trauma expert Dr. Sue offers s simple advice to those supporting children aged 7+. She explains why W h adopted or fostered children can often experience self-esteem issues, the o impact it can have on their lives, and offers everyday strategies to help A r the child to move beyond their trauma and develop healthy self-esteem. e A d Ideal for foster and adoptive parents as well as professionals supporting o p children and families, this book reveals the powerful role you can play in t e your child’s well-being. d o r Dr. Sue Cornbluth is a nationally recognized expert in parenting and F o childhood trauma and an adjunct professor of psychology at Temple s University, Philadelphia. She began her career in the field of foster care, te learning how to connect with abused children by building a safe, trusting re relationship with each child. She is a parenting coach, regular television d contributor, and is passionate about making a difference in the lives of all children. Dr. Sue lives outside of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania with her husband, son, and daughter. To learn more about Dr. Sue, please visit D r www.drsueandyou.com. . S u e C o r n b l Jessica Kingsley Publishers u t 73 Collier Street h London N1 9BE, UK 400 Market Street, Suite 400 Dr. Sue Cornbluth Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA www.jkp.com Cover design: Tango Media COV_Cornbluth.indd 1 6/26/14 3:18 PM Building Self-Esteem in Children and Teens Who Are Adopted or Fostered of related interest Helping Children to Build Self-Esteem A Photocopiable Activities Book Second Edition Deborah M. Plummer ISBN 978 1 84310 488 9 eISBN 978 1 84642 609 4 Self-Esteem Games for Children Deborah M. Plummer Illustrated by Jane Serrurier ISBN 978 1 84310 424 7 eISBN 978 1 84642 574 5 Attaching in Adoption Practical Tools for Today’s Parents Deborah D. Gray ISBN 978 1 84905 890 2 eISBN 978 0 85700 606 6 Attaching through Love, Hugs and Play Simple Strategies to Help Build Connections with Your Child Deborah D. Gray ISBN 978 1 84905 939 8 eISBN 978 0 85700 753 7 The Foster Parenting Manual A Practical Guide to Creating a Loving, Safe and Stable Home John DeGarmo ISBN 978 1 84905 956 5 eISBN 978 0 85700 795 7 A Different Home A New Foster Child’s Story John DeGarmo and Kelly DeGarmo ISBN 978 1 84905 987 9 eISBN 978 0 85700 897 8 Keeping Foster Children Safe Online Positive Strategies to Prevent Cyberbullying, Inappropriate Contact and Other Digital Dangers John DeGarmo ISBN 978 1 84905 973 2 eISBN 978 0 85700 862 6 Building Self-Esteem in Children and Teens Who Are Adopted or Fostered Dr. Sue Cornbluth Foreword by Nyleen Shaw Jessica Kingsley Publishers London and Philadelphia Transcript in Foreword is reproduced with kind permission from Brad Segall from CBS Radio, Philadelphia. First published in 2014 by Jessica Kingsley Publishers 73 Collier Street London N1 9BE, UK and 400 Market Street, Suite 400 Philadelphia, PA 19106, USA www.jkp.com Copyright © Sue Cornbluth 2014 Foreword copyright © Nyleen Shaw 2014 All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any material form (including photocopying or storing it in any medium by electronic means and whether or not transiently or incidentally to some other use of this publication) without the written permission of the copyright owner except in accordance with the provisions of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 or under the terms of a licence issued by the Copyright Licensing Agency Ltd, Saffron House, 6–10 Kirby Street, London EC1N 8TS. Applications for the copyright owner’s written permission to reproduce any part of this publication should be addressed to the publisher. Warning: The doing of an unauthorised act in relation to a copyright work may result in both a civil claim for damages and criminal prosecution. Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication Data Cornbluth, Sue. Building self-esteem in children and teens who are adopted or fostered / Sue Cornbluth ; foreword by Nyleen Shaw. pages cm Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 978-1-84905-466-9 (alk. paper) 1. Adopted children. 2. Foster children. 3. Self-esteem in children. 4. Self-esteem in adolescence. 5. Child psychology. 6. Child rearing. I. Title. HV875.C676 2014 155.4’182--dc23 2014001036 British Library Cataloguing in Publication Data A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library ISBN 978 1 84905 466 9 eISBN 978 0 85700 844 2 To Darrin, Jacob and Lindsay, my life and my world. And to my mother, who taught me the meaning of the importance of being an advocate for others. And to my father, who taught me never to give up on myself. To Nyleen, for teaching me through her inner strength that a child can heal from abuse. And to every child throughout the world who has been in foster care or adopted. You have the right to feel wanted, needed and loved. Every child should grow up in a forever home and every parent and professional caring for these children should be given the “tools” to help fostered and adopted children succeed in a world where they have been dealt extremely unfair circumstances. This book is my gift to all of you. CONTENTS Foreword by Nyleen Shaw 9 ACKNOWLEDGMENTS 14 INTRODUCTION 17 CHAPTER 1 Fostered and Adopted Children and Teens Struggle with Self-Esteem 20 CHAPTER 2 The Challenges of Parenting a Fostered or Adopted Child or Teen 27 CHAPTER 3 Attachment and Self-Esteem: Two Critical Aspects of Connecting with a Fostered or Adopted Child or Teen 32 CHAPTER 4 Providing a Child or Teen with a “Corrective Emotional Experience” 54 CHAPTER 5 Strategies for Working with Traumatized Fostered or Adopted Children and Teens 63 CHAPTER 6 Assessing Your Parenting and Professional Skills 74 CHAPTER 7 Strategies for Increasing Fostered or Adopted Children and Teens’ Self-Esteem 84 CHAPTER 8 Parenting an Adopted or Fostered Child or Teen 127 CHAPTER 9 The Triple Empowerment Self-Esteem System: Educate, Embrace and Empower 143 PARTING WORDS 150 REFERENCES 152 RECOMMENDED RESOURCES 156 INDEX 157
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