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Boy Meets Girl : Say Hello to Courtship Joshua Harris Preface Made for Each Other How many times was Adam asked to retell the story? How many of his grandchildren (particularly his granddaughters) begged him to recount every detail of his first glimpse of Eve? Can we blame them? Wouldn't you love to hear the story from his lips? Surely Adam's single descendents couldn't resist pestering him for information. How could they help it? Who would be more qualified to answer their questions about love than a participant in theoriginal"boy meets girl"? This is how I imagine one such conversation unfolding.... "When you saw her, what did you say?" The old man's eyes danced. "I didn't say anything, not at first," he answered. "I think I tripped on a root, and she laughed at me. She loved to laugh at me." 10 He let go of his young companions hand to stoop and pick up a smooth stone in the path. When he straightened, he smiled. It was a faraway smile. He was remembering. The girl tugged gently on his arm. Her name was Elanna. She was a favorite out of his countless great-great- grandchildren. But now she was a young woman full of life and questions. "But eventually you spoke to her," Elanna said, determined to coax the story from him. "I was flustered," he answered, shaking his head. "My mind was on fire with curiosity and a new kind of happiness. Here stood a creature after my own kind. Her every feature comforted my senses and invited me nearer. Her eyes looked back into mine with soul depth." The old man paused his narrative. Elanna was wide-eyed. "You'll understand that moment better when you have it yourself," he continued. "When you meet your soul's match, what words are adequate? Sometimes joy can almost choke you. When we first met, I wanted to whisper and shout and laugh and dance all in one moment." "But instead you gave a speech," Elanna said playfully Her grandfather, or "First One" as people respectfully called him, was known for his speeches. "Well, yes, you could call it a speech. I suppose it was. My first words in her presence must have sounded out of place. But the occasion demanded formality. It was momentous. The animals were gathering, and the Maker was waiting for my response." Elanna slid her arm into her grandfather's as they walked into a clearing, a natural cathedral in the forest that siphoned the sunlight and painted speckles on the moss-covered ground. "Well, when you describe it that way, your first words are understandable," she said. "It was an inauguration." 11 "Yes. It was a dedication of her, of us, to the Maker. I named her just as I named the animals, but her name was an acknowledgment that the Maker had once again, and more beautifully than ever, done what was good-He had made us for each other." Then he stopped walking and stood straighter. His voice deepened as he recited the words spoken on that day so long ago: This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called "woman" for she was taken out of man. When he finished, neither the old man nor the girl spoke for what seemed a long time. The woodland sounds filled the silence. "That's beautiful," she finally said in an awed whisper. "Elanna..." "Yes, Grandfather?" "You ask these questions because you yourself long to meet your souls match. Don't pretend I don't know you, child. You have your First Mothers eyes. They looked just like yours do now when she was longing for the Garden. But you miss someone you've never met. You want to run through time and glimpse that first meeting. You want to know how you'll know him. But you need not fret." "But it doesn't seem fair to me," Elanna said, the words born of frustration tumbling out. "It was so easy for you. The Maker brought Grandmother to you. She was the only woman for you. She was the only woman!" "Child..." 12\2.JoshuaHarris "But here, now, it's so different-so, so confusing." "It's not more confusing," he said gently. "It only seems that way Our meeting was 'easy,' as you put it, not because we were the only humankind, but because in those sweet days before we disobeyed, we implicitly trusted the Maker to bring what was good." He reached out and with both hands lifted her head so her eyes looked into his. "My dear child, what you must try to see is that nothing has changed. When the Maker brings you your husband, you'll be aware that it was He who made you for each other and He who planned your meeting. And in that moment, just as we did, you'll want to sing a song of praise to Him." 13pa rto rethinkingromance 14 15 Boy Meets Gir What I've Learned Since I Kissed Dating Goodbye The clock read 5:05 P.M. Shannon's workday was over. She enjoyed her job at the church, but she was ready to go home and unwind. She began her familiar end-of-the-day routine: tidied her desk, shut down her computer, straightened a picture on her bookshelf, got her coat from the closet, and said her goodbyes. "Bye, Nicole," she said to the girl in the office beside her. "See you tomorrow, Helen," she called to the receptionist. She walked through the quiet lobby and pushed open one of the heavy glass doors. The winter wind tugged at her as she made her way across the nearly empty parking lot. She climbed into her worn, navy blue Honda Accord and shut out the cold. She lifted her keys to the ignition, and then paused. There, alone in the silence, the emotions she had kept at bay during the day came rushing in. Tears welled up in her eyes. She leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and began to cry. is 16 "Why, Lord?" she whispered. "Why is this so hard? What am I supposed to do with these feelings? Take them away if they're not from You." I used to watch from my window as Shannon walked to her car at the end of each day. My office looked out over the parking lot.What is she thinking about?I wondered. 1 longed to know more about her-to go beyond our polite conversations as casual friends and coworkers and really get to know her. But was it the right time? My heart had been wrong so many times before. Could 1 trust my feelings? Would she return my interest? From my vantage point, Shannon Hendrickson seemed happy, confident, and oblivious of me. I was sure she liked another guy. As I watched her drive away, I whispered my own prayer.What isYour willGod? Is she the one? Help me to be patient. Show me when to act. Help me trust You. How could I know that the girl in the navy blue Honda was crying as she drove away, or that I was the cause of her tears? Three months later... I was twenty-three years old, but my hands were acting like they'd never dialed a phone number. I gripped my cordless phone as if it were a wild animal trying to escape and tried again. You can do this,I assured myself. The phone rang three times before an answering machine picked up. She wasn't home. I gritted my teeth.Should I leave a message?The machine beeped, and I took the plunge. "Hey, Shannon, this is Josh.. .uh, Harris."