Boston Phoenix January 28-February 3, 2005: Vol 34 Iss 4

90.9 MB·English

JANUARY 28—FEBRUARY 3, 2005
» HE BOSTON Gi ivesccions rece
BLACK POWER
Drama explosion
on four stages
THE QUICK AND THE DEAD
'LIKENESS’ av THE ICA
Artists paint artists
MR. UNSTOPPABLE
DICKY BARRETT'S
post-punk LA life
THE PROFESSIONAL
TheB ush."
whipped media r Iwas there : |
BYD AN KENNEDY. | 3 © BYC AMILLE DODERO
dislent with Hy NSA © Goda ndg uns rs
GeorgeW. Zid We S Seon, JONATHAN KATZ
i ent ch = 5. ° = What's so funny about
aieaee & multiple sclerosis?
BUSH ILLUSTRATION BY DANNY HELLMAN; KATZ PHOTO BY MARK OSTOV
SHIVER GLALG Stimmers was int POULIGS Devalp atricks GEL SMF changey ouri te
a acular ¥
WITH SPECIAL GUEST \Ginaters: Bhs ii =xe}el
2
O FleetCenter MAY 24 & 26 7:30PM
General admission tickets on the floor and reserved seating in the stands go on sale this Saturday at 10am. Tickets available
at the FleetCenter box office and through all ticketmaster locations, www.ticketmaster-com, call 617-228-6000, or get tickets at
www.teapartyconcerts.com. There will be an 8 ticket limit per person with a maximum purchase of 2 general admission floor tickets
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The U2 Tour is presented and produced by The Next Adventure, RZO Productions and Tea Party Concerts
a
BROOK GRIFFIN
THE BOSTON PCHOENIX O nte nts January 28, 2005
news and features
Coronation II by camille Dodero
Republicans get the drunk munchies, protesters tryt o corral the troops, and
intrepid reporter heads to DC for 36 hours of American excess
DON’T QUOTE ME: Blogging Bush by Dan Kennedy
Like many Americans, Dan Kennedy spent January 20 transfixed by the hideous spectacle of Inaugt
for those of you who simply couldn't bear to look, he also kept a running account of the even
out what you thought you’d missed.
Girding for battle by Deirdre Fulton
It’s official: we’ve begun four more years of Dubya. To get an idea of what, exactly, might be in s
2008, the Phoenix interviewed several foreign- and domestic-policy experts and advocate
what we should watch out for
Woman on Bush by Caitlin Shetterly
The return of Texas's favorite son to the White House sends one woman's
TALKING POLITICS: The Deval Patrick Show by Adam Reilly
ell, it ain't the five-star Swissétel anymore, and it isn’t really in Within a week, he had garnered write-ups in the Boston Globe, a spco t on Greater Boston, and a drive-t
the Financial District, unless you think of the Combat Zone as WBUR. It was a truly impressive multimedia barrage for a prospective gubernatorial candidate
the “Financial Sex District.” But the new restaurant at the Hyatt has question remained: who’s Deval Patrick?
its moments...
FREEDOM WATCH: Say it ain’t SO by Harvey A Silverglate 22
by Robert Nadeau After causing an academic brouhaha by daring to discuss why boys often seem to perform better than girls in science and
on the cheap math, Harvard University president Lawrence Summers must have been surprised by his inability to ane the feminist
lobby. His surrender may have quieted the mob in the short term, but in the long term he will rue the day hef ailed to take
BROOK GRIFFIN n the cosmology of the Letts and on the totalitarians once and for all.
the Kurs, the early tribes of the The professional by tamara Wieder 24
Baltic region, Perkuno was the god He may be battling multiple sclerosis, but life post-Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist is still a barrel of laug
of thunder. It’s fitting that a big and comedian Jonathan Katz.
brawny porter like this...
by Mike Milliard »% Bush and Cheney are both outside now, waiting for the
RYAN McMAHON
proceedings to begin. The sunlight doesn’t seem to be bothering Cheney.
But he does appear to be looking furtively about — perhaps for a man
with a hammer, a wooden stake, and a clove of garlic?
— Dan Kennedy, “Don’t Quote Me,” page 17
t may seem like a bit of a trek
to go to Dorchester for Viet- departmerts
namese food, but once you're
there... EDITORIAL........ ; é ...4 QUT THERE by Alan Olifson 11
Slippery slope
Levens... ... . Jae. .4
Ti.. NAR eS. 6 THE STRAIGHT DOPE by Ceci/ Adams 12
Two soldiers take on a new tour of duty, and America DINING 27
says good-night to Johnny Carson. Plus, five reasons why In “Dining Out,” Robert Nadeau parks himself at Av
January 30 just sucks. enue One; in “On the Cheap,” Laryn Ivy is full of pho in
Fields Corner; and in “Sipping,” Mike Miliard hammers
PHOENIX FLASHBACKS ...... 8 it home with a Baltic Porter
A megamerger for Time Warner and AOL, an '80s proto-
type for jingoism, examining the Miles mystique, and PERSONALS 31
other odds and ends from the Phoenix's past. Plus, SAVAGE LOVE 34
David Sipress’s “Reality Check.”
Who's the boss?
Get smart about networking; careers that earn you UTeRcBhAnNol ogBiUcYa llbyy Dsepieradrkei ngF,ul tojnu st . bag it. CLASSIFIEDS 35
\ the big bucks; surviving the grad-school-application
process; and going back to school ... again. MOON SIGNS astrology by Symboline Dai
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Kitchen serving a full
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THE BOSTON PHOENIX NEWS & FEATURES JANUARY 28, 2005 3
Phee
nix
icin | EDITORIAL
STON © PROVIDEN( E ¢ PORTLAND Bush's inauguration speech was a declaration of holy war
VOL. XXXIV, NO. 4
PusisHEeR & CHAIRMAN God and guns
PresiDeNnt & CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER
Executive VICE PRESIDENT
Bradley M. Mind
Epiror:
Peter Kad
BOSTON
SENIOR MANAGING Epror/PHOENIX NEWSPAPER GROUP Senior
Epitor: Starr Epitor: ff; Design Director: EORGE W. BUSH'S breathtaking arrogance Bush’s vision is at odds with reality in other to George H.W. Bush, has been outspoken in
FEKreriarstto urr ye s Eorror 4 k; EpArSrSoIrSiTaA, NT DeAAsrRiTtcSsn erEsp:r ror: N € AAsrsytosstc iatEeoS iEtaNoAyIrrlOotsrRs ahnadve draenagcehreodu s neswi mphelieg-hmtisn d—e dnore sdse ptmhasy — pdaircttsa toorfs htihpe, woprolsds,e ssteoso. oCnhei nao,f tahne waourtlhdo’rsi tawroirasnt haigsg remsissigviev,i nugnsi laatbeorault ftohree icgun rrpeonltic y.p reLsasitd enwte’esk ,
StaFF WRITER Listins COORDINATOR in his Inauguration Day speech. On the surface, records on human rights. But as Jimmy Carter’s Scowcroft refused to comment on the inaugural
his call for “freedom” and “liberty” across the national-security adviser, Zbigniew Brzezinski, address, with an unnamed associate explaining
CONTRIBUTING EDITOR: ConTRiBuTING WRITERS: world sounded like lofty rhetoric, the sort of cer- has pointed out, in addition to the country’s eco- to the Los Angeles Times, “He’s in enough trouble
emonial hot air likely to be forgotten soon after nomic importance, the Chinese government’s co- already.” More eloquent than words, one might
it’s delivered. But if we have learned nothing else operation is absolutely crucial in dealing with say. The outgoing secretary of state, Colin Powell,
CarToon:st ASTROLOGER about this president, we certainly should know North Korea, a terrorist regime that is believed to another intimate of the president’s father, has
Saves Director: A. W that when he lectures other ASON have developed nuclear made it clear to journalist Bob Woodward and
Associate Director oF Saves: Mik TRAFFIC MANAGER: \ countries on what he expects weapons. Russia under Presi- others that he, too, would prefer diplomacy.
CPMoEuusRirSciO eNrA:Ly SSia c esk K MANMAaGnEaRc erh CLajsksi Fied CuSAaLsEsSi rigdD irLEicneTsO R AA ccEoxuencutt ivEeCx eocruPtOiRvAeTsE ta hfeiBmrus ts htso t eddpeo l,i vtehraetd gehnise raslpleye chis jauts ta dftoer noatmu tVoal carrdaoicumyg.ih r VfoPoiurctmei sn ofoi sf d mdeoimsvosicennrgta cy UcRinocfmeop.rl tiuannatt elnya,t ioPnoawle-lsle cuwriiltl y bea drviespelra,c edC onbdyo lBeusehz’zsa
time when 150,000 American are being silenced. Yet Putin’s Thus it was left to a lesser figure among the
troops are risking (and losing) assistance in fighting interna- Republicans’ realist wing, Peggy Noonan, a for-
Director oF Na National Sate their lives in Iraq, and just hours tional terrorism is essential — mer speechwriter for Ronald Reagan and Bush I,
AESxeS ISTANTvE NaTiONaL SALE after Vice-President Dick Cheney and that need may compel to speak out last week. Did she ever. Writing for
rattled his saber at Iraq’s giant American officials to look the OpinionJournal.com, the Web site of the Wall
E Humanve RREecRs ources Manacer BEneF neighbor, Iran. So when Bush other way as Putin deals brutal- Street Journal’s ultraconservative editorial page,
E 4 T Recep n says that “it is the policy of the ly with Chechen separatists, Noonan expressed her discomfort with Bush’s
United States to seek and sup- who have carried out terrorist oversupply of God and undersupply of humility.
PROMOTIONS MANAGEDRi recTOR OF MARKETING. port the growth of democratic attacks inside Russia. “It left me with a bad feeling, and reluctant dis-
New Mepis movements and institutions in every nation and Russia and China are the easy cases. What like,” she wrote, calling Bush’s freedom crusade
Ow Mana Wee O culture, with the ultimate goal of ending tyranny would Bush do about Pakistan, a vital ally in the “somewhere between dreamy and disturbing.”
w R Cow
in our world,” it would seem to make eminent campaign against terrorism? Pakistan’s presi- It must be frustrating to Bush’s most ardent
good sense to try to figure out exactly what he dent, Pervez Musharraf, took power in a military supporters to watch as the president is criticized
means — and to stop him before he can act coup. By most accounts, if a free and fair elec- for espousing rhetoric not terribly different from |
As we already know from bitter experience, tion were held in Pakistan, the likely winners that of Democratic presidents such as Woodrow \
Bush’s idea of supporting freedom and democra- would be Islamist extremists sympathetic to Wilson, Franklin Roosevelt, Harry Truman, and
it Mi M R
cy is increasingly close to fascistic. His ideology is Osama bin Laden. That concern extends as well John Kennedy — or, for that matter, from that of
a combination of two strains: the small-town Re- to Saudi Arabia, whose oil is essential for keep- Republican Ronald Reagan, whose presidency
iblicanism he absorbed growing up in Midland, ing Wester economies humming. The corrupt, Bush has consciously sought to emulate. But
Dir RPORATE F born-again Christianity he em repressive, de¢ II sly unpopular Saudi royal family there is no hypocrisy to this. For one thing, Wil-
Man M d 40. Bush’s entire world unfortunatel y, a much-needed bulwark son (World War I and the League of Nations),
Aon T h been shaped Kennedy (the Bay of Pigs and Viet
riences iS nam), and Reagan (Central Ameri
WHAT BUGS Y OU THE MOST ABOUT BUSH? can death squads and the Iran-
PROVIDENCE 1 from mem y umber-one worry about W’s second term contra scandal) all overreached on
he I im evotedi l Busmhu cfha mio f yy nptlhee: is“sBueU SyHo u'srtea r most concerned about, internattioo naalp plaaufdf airBsu.s hI t amsa khees seneok s
t ny iO t } ) lk a similar path
\ rt rOW VISIOI tant, Bush i
in his self-regard and
Ist nd tl i bullying contempt for the rest of
(9) \ iska senator K hW t to mention personal the world. Other presidents have worked close
40 With Gc help, we will lift As with Pakistan ly with our allies. Wilson, Roosevelt, Truman,
< 1 ver ur ntil it i ust Lil pushing for elections in Saudi Arabia would be nd Kennedy all improved our standing in the
Wipe W K 1 vet. bt more likely to result in the ascension of bin world. Reagan’s record was more mixed, but
PORTLAND the “freedom” and even he managed to transcend the limitations
rit Vv | of his simplistic ideology by negotiating with
n iC wer ad ngelical neo-imperialism has out the Soviet Union, thus helping to bring about
c w Tt i demo ernational community and drawn peaceful end to communism
merican ure s at home — from within Bush’ Bush, by contrast, is left us isolated and
y sO l } }I }l ectti on 1 inn il Iraqr, or Gwn Party at least as much as from Democrats. alone, feared but not respected, his call for free
ry 30. TI stil possibility that th Indeed, Bush has mana; to alienate two dis dom and democracy viewed understandably
Dir A Namional E SA > long-suffering people of that country could have tinct wings of the Republican Party: the realists as just another form of aggression There is
M 3 A 1 better life than they had under Saddam Hus and the isolationists. The latter, personified by no reason to think that his second-term crusade
But they have already paid an incredibly paleo-conservative Patrick Buchanan, perhaps against tyranny will be any more credible, or
OFFICES price for Bush’s vision of freedom, imposed need not be taken too seriously, although make us any safer, than his first-term crusade
by the barrels of American and British guns. Cer- Buchanan’s warnings about the perils of invading against terrorism. In the end, the problem with
tainly the families of civilians killed since the war Iraq were as on-target as those of, say, Howard Bush’s speech was not his words, but the actions
began nearly two years ago — estimated at as Dean. The former, though, represent the heart of they herald ad
many as 100,000 — would dispute the notion the Republican Party — or did, until Bush drove
Pp that Bush’s messianic adventurism has been the GOP off the rails What do you think? Send an e-mail to
Ne aL SA oO worthwhile Brent Scowcroft, the national-security adviser [email protected]
Worio Wide Wes SITE
INFORMATION LETTERS
Manuscr
We welcome responses from our readers. Letters TOBY KEITH RULES How dare you. You are certainly entitled
L E sehoeu ld be t Le yped (double-spaced), if possible, and I thought I lived in America, where I can lis to your opinion about Toby Keith because,
must include the writer’s name, address, and a ten to anything I like because it is my right. after all, this is America. And we are entitled
SUBSCRIPTION telephone number where he or she can be reached The song “Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue to ours. I’m not going to go into the story
during business hours for verification. The writer’s (The Angry American)” was written by Toby behind “The Angry American” because you
0S2u2bs1c5r.i ptioCno r Department, Boston Phoenix, 126 Brookline Ave., Boston, MA name and position or town will be published, but Keith, thinking of how upset his dad would be either already know it or don’t care. Suffice
these may be withheld for good reason. that the USA was under attack [“True Colors,” it to say, we are all very fortunate that
Printep By: AMuabusrsn , WebM A Pr0i1n5ti0n1g C¢o .(, 50I8nc).; 833214- 53W1a7s hington St Letters may be mailed to the Boston Phoenix, News and Features, January 21]. My dad, God Toby Keith’s dad and many, many other
126 Brookline Avenue, Boston, MA 02215; faxed rest his soul, and my uncle, who lost his life de- dads (and moms) did and continue to do
THe PHoenix Mepia/ to [phone]; or e-mailed to fending this great country, would have agreed what is necessary so you can write your
Communications Group
[email protected] or to staff writers’ e-mail ad with the lyrics of the song. I suggest that you stupid column and I can listen to Toby Keith
ExecuCtHiAvIe RMVAiNc e Presipent h Bra PRESIDENT Eortor dresses (e-mailed letters must include a telephone keep your comments to yourself, because you music. And, by the way, I’m not criminally
DireDcitroerc toofr Noef wsCpoarppeorra tGer ouFipn anScaet es A. Willia number for verification and a hometown). All are definitely not a writer. insane.
Tue PHoenix Newspapers, FNX Ranio Network, Mass Wee letters are subject to editing for considerations of Louise Ruth Miller
Printinc, STuFF@NIGHT, PeopLe2PeorLe Group space, fairness, and clarity. Pennsylvania Winston-Salem, North Carolina
4 JANUARY 28, 2005 NEWS & FEATURES THE BOSTON PHOENIX
(LANSDOWNE ST.
/.a e . BOSTON
617-262-U37
7aA pS r e
THURSDAY, JANUARY 27 * fa alah
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FILM FOLLIES
Gossipy hack puts Scorsese project
=r m
on the wrong track
y Carson did
sr late-nicht (m
Here’s a tip: if you're a celebrity hoping to keep your or
trip >t to Boston on the q.t., don't invite along someone firs
who keeps “Inside Track” on speed-dial
That’s a les son that filmmaker Martin Scorsese and thi
his staff learn ed the hard way last week. They were mi
swinging through town to scout locations for the me
director's next movie, The Departed, and to meet with wi
Mayor Thomas Menino. It was a considerable coup for
the nonprofit Massachusetts Film Bureau and the
quasi-public Massachusetts Sports and Entertainment
Commission ( MSEC), as orsese had never deigned to
step foot in the Hub of the Universe before, at least in
a professional capacity
V comic sensibility He might think twice about doing it ag ain. The visit
Carson's nor was was supposed to stay out of the papers, according to
a little racy, a little silly local film-industry insiders, one of whom described ay,
with characters such “several conversations with [the movie's] producers and DEARLY DEPARTED: press leaks about Scorsese’s trip
as Carnac the staff, in whict 1 they expressed their desire that the to Boston may have buried the director’s plans to
Magnificent press community not be informed.” Unfortunately, the film in the Hub.
seer, and Art Ferr job of escortir ig Scorsese went to MSEC vice-president
slf eazy seTlVf f -dpe nhman) rMearmko veDdr agfor.o m Drtahgeo , MSasE CP hoseevneirxa l remaodnetrsh s maaygo , reocanllly, twoa sb e in the papers, they also revealed a variety of possible
shooting locations including City Hall Plaza,
ahenldd r sfmoartrht lyw itth a r“DerHiaangcsokt ataAeltdsto acthhkaa s n” kasnT hitison shiJiudsse t SttIranat,c ek NoHwoviuethsm eb ethrce onBn1oe2s,c ttio2on0n 0s4.H. e)ra (lSde'es dFleavgeslhoippm eWnhtasr f in in SoCuhtahr leBsotsotwonn, aanndd Dhoorucshiensgt er that
nade tic feel ac ifi t “Inside Track gossip column: he has been mentioned werIen sfaucpt,p ospeladn s tot o refimlami n T. huen dDeer wraps /in Boston aren't
there 21 1996, according to an archive evein official, whaiceh meansrae Bosta onians Be are now
search Sa sist Wino re ane
Make that ay Pecans anid f scrambling to make sure Drago’s loose lips haven’t sunk
s{e| e that 25 nes, after DacK-tO-Daacy rite-supis 0 thl e deal. 1 Drago’s boss, ACMES EC president Don S- tirling
Mahor ine tWhsr eeO utsitnb ogr y b: y thH e: rSac/odr secsrei me lasrte pwoeretke.r LAaddu relt o J.t haStw eae tp : age onfirms thait 'sD rSagto e spent tEimEe witYhe r PScPoRrs ese aa e et
David LLEe tterma about i Scorids ese's: tour of Ba oston P+o2l ice ”D epartment team, but would not comment on the press leaks. “All
of us are just hoping that they will be able to film as
asOnnai'agdBrhrektidi e nnemi sixsr,)ob n ryo auntog (dha tnt dhC eo gniaglagntle y- —L_lAasTt Ev-oNiIceG HTmo stI COANm: erfiocra n3s0 yehaerasr,d Cbaerfsoorne’ ss leweaps. the ahhriersa idvcqerdue.aw r tNeaorptsp ,ao nralenyn tdl dyi ydo luet fht eg ettso twoanr isaeesn sliept uttleo ft ghwrehu ymd piirSeeccrot rosrt’ehssa en natamhneedy dmou,c hn o ads oupbots siwbel'el l hbeer e reian diBnogs toanll, ”a b—oS uttiD ralivitni.g d sSa.y s.B erInf sttheeiyn
surrealism. Saturday
Night Live's “Weekend Update” (and, more ambitiously, The Daily Show) THE WAR IN IRAQ
enlarged upon Carson's stinging “in the news” monologues. But it all goes back
to JLoashtn nyS.u nday, surfir } 1 the Carson tributes on the cable news Soldiers’ stories h
channels, | caught a clip from a 1988 Tonight Show on which then-Arkansas
overnor Bill Clinton — who had the Democratic National When US t roops first arrived in Iraq, the civilians lraq. After the frontline battles were over, his battery
Convention with an intermir was a guest. A deadpan greeted them with smiles and waves, recalls 26-year would roll in following the infantry, allowing Hoffman
Carson mo | hat went on old Sergeant Kelly Dougherty. But as time dragged to see the devastation from a horrifying vantage
hilariously n Clinton finally came on, things ch anged. point. He remembers “seeing cities and towns
on, Carson asked, “How are you?” and slammed an hourglas wn on the “After we continued to stay there, they would more decimated” and civilians who “just looked completely
a Startling illustration of the dash and daring of Carson's just turn their heads,” she says. Dougherty, a and utterly lost, shell-shocked about what had
tewart did not invent the art of puncturing political Colorado resident, was in Iraq for 10 months; the happened to them
longer she stayed, the more disillusioned she “We were all left wondering, what were the reasons
and raised in Nebraska, Carson articulated an old-fashioned became for this? And the reasons we were given were
reaucrats, and those who didn’t “The whole time | was there, | didn’t see definitely not good enough
zinged those in need of zinging, improvement s in the areas would patrol,” says “It's something | wouldn't even wish on my worst
1 epsolsiitbilcea llyw. ithAonudt itt rewaatsi ngt hits he ilaluusdioire nce lnipkae rtiidailotist.y tChaarts on ADgoauignhsetr tyt,h e wW haor h(aIsV AWsi)n.c e “It¢ )s-efeomuendd,e d inI raa q waVye,t ertahants we _ ethnaetm ineos ,o”n e hes hoadudlsd. h“aYveo u'tro em akfeor ceda ntdo myoauk'er e dfeocricseido nst o
relent bs at dent Nixon in the | and were just creating problems, and if we fixed a do things no one should ever have to do. Unfortunately,
not alienate viewers during that era of intense political and problem, it would seem like victory. We were fighting the decisions we made over there are decisions we'll
C was one of the transformative pop-cultural figures the problems we created have to live with for the rest of our lives.’ a
owed the so-called silent majority that it was okay to question In their photos, Dougherty and fellow IVAW co The Iraq War Veterans Tour will stop at Faneuil Hal
t r attihttu de ayin American ponloilt ics. Ts hhreolupgehdo utu shetrh osei na fliokuen dyeoru ng,L anctce gCho,r paonrda l eaMrincehsate l solHdoiferfsm.a n,P er2h5a,p sl ootkh at oEnn diScuontdta y,C olJleagneu,a rya nd3 0;a Laty nnS alecmo mmSutnatiet y Comleleegtei,n g at
chaotic times, C Tonight Show he nudged it to will encourage people to listen a little more closely to St. Stephen’s Church on Monday, January 31; at 48
the left. Walter Cronkite read the news; Johnny Carson 1 ur minds about their message next week, when the pair visits more Rutland Street in the South End, MIT, the Harriet
the news. With no real late-night competitors, Carsor last voice you than a dozen town meetings, along with high-school Tubman House, and Bridgewater State College on
heard before sleep, and it was av oice of sanity, showing us the absurd humor and college campuses, here in Massachusetts for the Tuesday, February 1; at. UMass Lowell, UMass
in a troublin Iraq War Veterans Tour. IVAW is co-sponsoring the Boston, Tufts University, and Northeastern University
When Cz ave up his crown in 1992 and walked off into implacable event with Military Families Speak Out and a on Wednesday, February 2; at Boston University and
reclusive retirement, the turbulent fight to succeed him was almost coalition of local campus, community, youth, and Saint Rose Church School on Thursday, February 3;
Shakespearean. Carson made no secret that Letterman, another Midwestern labor groups. at Roxbury Community College, Harvard University,
boy, was his favored heir. But NBC gave the chair to the eager Jay Leno, whose Both veter ans admit they weren’t sold on the war and St. John’s Methodist Church on Friday,
soulless, dumbed-down Tonight Show — the Wal-Mart of late-night TV — is the when they le ft. Essentially, however, they are two February 4; and at the Community Church of
current ratings champ. Only last week, it was revealed that Carson was still young people who have been there, seen the ruin and Boston on Sunday, February 6. Check out
sending Letterman jokes for the latter’s monologues. Letterman issued an wreckage, and come back to tell their stories. www. bringthetroopshomenow.com or www.mfso.org
emotional tribute to Carson on Sunday that read in part, “All of us who came Hoffman, of Pennsylvania, was in a Marine Corps fer more information, specific times, and locations.
after are pretenders. We will not see the likes of him again A night doesn’t artillery battery during the March 2003 invasion of — Deirdre Fulton
go by that | don’t ask myself, ‘What would Johnny have done?’ ”
Those words have haunted late-night talk-show hosts since Carson's
retirement. Letterman came close to equaling Carson's reassuring late-night
voice of reason in his extraordinary post-September 11 show, when he sat at DEPT. GF BAD OMENS
his desk and spoke directly to viewers, as if together we could make sense of
things. But Letterman has since allowed himself to get caught up in political Janu ary 30: On this day in history
polarization, snarling about President Bush from one corner while, in the
opposing corner, the aggressively accommodating Leno flatters Laura Bush and
Arnold Schwarzenegger. Maybe this is what Letterman means when he admits 1933: Adolf Hitler named chancellor of Germany.
his own shortcomings and says there will never be another Carson. The TV
1948: Mahatma Gandhi assassinated.
audience is fragmented to demographic smithereens now. But back then,
Carson persuaded 12 million of us a night (Leno averages half that) to laugh at 1968: “Tet Offensive” launched in Vietnam.
the same joke or observation or goofy “baby marmoset sits on Johnny's head” 1972: “Bloody Sunday,” when British paramilitaries killed civil-rights marchers on the streets
moment, and to feel we were part of the same wonderful whole. Johnny Carson of Derry, Ireland.
was the rarest of entertainers, one who led us to common ground not by 2000: Kenyan Airway Airbus crashes off the Ivory Coast, killing 169 people.
lowering the bar, but by lifting us up. — Donald Mahoney
— Joyce Millman
6 JANUARY 28, 2005 NEWS & FEATURES THE BOSTON PHOENIX
[this just in]
WEB SINGING
ELECTION DAY IN IRAQ
Every day is, like, song day
“I've got the itch,” reads the cryptic January 9 entry on Marty Allen's blog
(martystuff.blogspot.com). “i'm thinking February.” We're not sure whether to be eager
or fearful, but February is almost here. That's when, for 30 straight days starting the
first of the month and continuing right on through to March 2, Allen will commence
writing and recording a jokey ji each day and posting the track on his site. It’s the HAVING Much
third installment of his “Song-a-Day” project, an endurance test of quotidian Luck WITH
musicianship and enforced prolificacy that blends the never-know-what-yer-gonna-get EXtT POLLS. /
mentality exemplified by They Might Be Giants’ long-running “Dial-a-Song” service 7
with the newish phenomenon of the MP3 blog.
It all started last year, when JP resident Allen — a musician, artist, and self-
confessed “weird dude” who works at the Cambridge Multicultural Arts Center when
he’s not playing in the band Uncle Monsterface — decided to make a sock puppet
every day for a month. “I've always been drawn to puppets,” he says, with an amorous
lilt in his voice. “There's something really formally elegant about a sock puppet.”
Then, after splitting from his previous band, Allen shifted his focus to songwriting to
maintain his chops. He says he can spend anywhere from one to five hours conceiving
and recording the tunes, which are largely improvised. They're performed entirely by
Allen, using computers, synthesizers, drum machines, and toy instruments. “It’s not
like I'm absurdly prolific and have reams and reams of ideas all over the place,” he
says. “! just love writing songs about the quirkiest, weirdest little things in the world
I’m a little bit obsessed right now with writing songs about learning stuff, so | just
wrote a song about frogs [‘The Frog’]. Their eyes help them to swallow. And they drink
and they breathe through their skin. And ‘plexus’ is what they do when they get it on.” LTGSbechyoto ctehwte ldl own
Allen's musical influences — the Residents, Oingo Boingo, Ween — are manifest in
his Dadaist ditties. And titles like “Balogna the Bear,” “Don’t Eat the Baby,” and
“Allen Ginsberg’s Left Leg” give an idea of his warped world-view. Still, songs like “I
Ain’t No Train” and “| Ain't No Vampire” show Allen defining himself, however GAIETY THEATRE
peculiarly, via his music. “ ‘l Ain’t No Vampire’ is just sort of a quirky notion: that,
when soda and blood are reversed, | would never buy soda, [so] I’m not a vampire. It's And now, to crush the Glass Slipper
a strange train of thought,” he says with great understatement. “ ‘! Ain't No Train’ is
more of a play on words — like, in my own mind I’m thinking about the notion of
chewing: that trains go ‘choo-ctioo-choo’ and the fact that | chew doesn’t make me a The City of Boston's campaign to kill off Boston's give the Glass Slipr wne f it
train.” fabled Combat Zone is inching toward success. After The club intends to challenge the BRA’s authority t
There'll be a whole new batch of as-yet-unheard — indeed, as-yet-undreamed-of — trampling on theater buffs, historic preservationists take its property, says Glass Slipper
songs as the shortest month rolls on. And even if the 30 newest songs will be “a little and neighborhood groups from nearby Chinatown, the Tatarian. And ther
more polished, but won't necessarily be better” than his first five dozen, Allen says he Boston Redevelopment Authority (BRA) won the right brougt ;
loves ‘em all equally. “They're like my little children. There's something | love about to raze the Gaiety Theatre (see “Strike Three for a whether tt tire K
just about all of them. Which is amazing. | can go back and say, ‘Oh, | love this little Historic Landmark,” This Just In, January 14). Now zonir
song!’ or ‘Oh, | love that little song!’ ” the Glass Slipper, one of the last “sin bars” on The Glass Slipper, in fact, is
He also loves the discipline the project imposes on his art, and says he'd go crazy if LaGrange Street, is on the BRA’s hit list egality of the plan, in a trial set t 4
he were somehow forced to miss a day. “When | put a constraint or a rule on myself, | The city plans to seize the Glass Slipper by eminent which makes the timing of the BRA zu t
really feel compelled to stick with it. I'm totally and utterly compelled to do it. There domain, in the service of “the public good’ whict 2specially curious. If the BRA succeeds eizing the
has been no emergency yet that has pulled me away. There was one day when | was in this case is a 30-story high-rise luxury-condominiun Glass Slipper bef
feverish and trapped somewhere, and one of my favorite songs, ‘Fight the Giant Eye,’ development called Kensington Place. By quietly
was written then.” authorizing and issuing a letter of intent last week
The response from the listening public has made it worth it, too. Allen says the past (so quietly, in fact, that the Glass Slipper's attorney
two Song-a-Day installments found devotees logging on regularly, downloading their was unaware of it until contacted by the Phoenix tt
daily digitized bits with wild-eyed fervor. Even better, shortly after completing the first Tuesday), the BRA set a 30-day clock ticking. On or
go-round this past July, Allen was sitting in a bar when “a girl came up to me who | about February 20, the city can officially take
didn’t even know, and was like, ‘When do you start volume two?’ ” ownership by filing with the registry of deeds, BRA proje
Huh! Art-project MP3 blogs help guys meet chicks? “Absolutely. Hey, that’s what spokesperson Meredith Baumann expl ns. The city
rock and roll is all about.” will then hand it over to Kensi
Starting Tuesday, February 1, hear a song a day at martystuff. blogspot.com. If your down
connection is too slow for downloads, e-mail [email protected] for a burned There are still some details to be ironed out 5. Andi f
compact disc Baumann confirms that the BRA n the sht t matter whether they are
— Mike Miliard market-value assessment of what K W > — David S. Bernstein
PANEL DISCUSSION One thing that fascinated me wa at [New - rt r k
had put all the cont t ster
Captioning the moment So he coultde ll you exactholwy m any people had submitted each jok
like the squid saying, “You want a f¢ e of me Y
people think, maybe t nuch, by brow
In the Seinfeld episode “The Cartoon,” when an annoyed
Elaine tries to get a New Yorker sketch explained to her, the
fictitious editor replies, “Cartoons are like gossamer, and one
doesn’t dissect gossamer.” squid’s eight arms
Though ultimately forced to admit he ran the panel because then | realized that thinking about “pr
“| liked the kitty,” the editor had a point. Small and spare,
usually one frame rendered in black and white, New Yorker Q: The artist, Alex Gregory, said in an
cartoons seem airier than most. A woman at a drugstore looks some entries based on his logical assumpt t
over a display marked “Staff Picks.” A dog tells his psychiatrist, restaurant. (“ ‘The squid works there? That's news to
“| can smell my own fear.” They're wisps of ideas — either you definitely open to interpretation what the squid was d
catch them or they drift away What was your take on the squid's motivation?
Take the cartoon on the New Yorker's “The Back Page” this A: |'m with Mankoff on this one the squid works there. He has a custom-fit
week: a bland-looking giant squid stands behind the counter at chef’s hat on, forPete’s sake. The myst te ry of the cartoon is: doesn
! ; a sushi restaurant as the chef explains ic a customer, “He feels wrong it is? He's selling out his own kind! | got really worked up about it. It’s like
he can do more good working within the system.” a little morality play with tentacles
Although New Yorker regular Alex Gregory supplied the
image, the man behind the punch line is Dan Heath of Boston, “He feels he can do more Q: How have your friends and your family reacted to your win? Has ihe news
winner of the magazine’s sixth annual cartoon-caption contest. made it back to Texas yet?
The Phoenix decided to put some questions to Heath, a 31-year- good working within the system.” A: My parents don’t know. They would be depressed that I'm still reading the
old MBA, Houston native, and researcher at the Harvard Business School, who proved game to New Yorker. |t’s about three clicks too Yankee for their taste
dissect some gossamer.
Q: Does “! wrote a New Yorker cartoon caption” have the makings of a good pick-up line?
Q: You're an MBA with a sense of whimsy explain yourself, please. Is the idea of business A: | think it would be about as effective as saying, “I'm a philatelist.” The one regret | have
administrators as buttoned-up, serious folk way off the mark? about winning the cartoon-caption contest is that it unmasks me as the sort of person who enters
A: | don't think of us as being buttoned-up or serious. That seems kind of insulting. I’d say cartoon-caption contests.
we're more soulless and money-grubbing.
Q: That Seinfeld episode has Elaine declaring she could come up with a cartoon gag good
Q: Apparently there were a few entries similar to yours, but your phrasing was judged the best. enough for the New Yorker — which you've now done. Is it as easy as it looks?
Did you have to polish those 11 words to get them just right? A: No, it is fiendishly difficult and frankly a little dangerous. Now someone give me a book deal
A: Yes, | had to focus-group the hell out of them.... — J.L. Johnson
NEW YORKER CARTOON © THE CART
THE BOSTON PHOENIX NEWS & FEATURES JANUARY 28,2005 7
The Boston Phoenix has been ad begins with a karate foot-chop
covering the trends and events that through a huge watermelon. Then
shape our times since 1966. The the frenzy of demonstration — the
following selections, culled from slicing of a radiator hose, the scor
our back files, were compiled by ing of sheetrock. ‘Look what it does
Will Spitz for pizza!’”
Wedding of the century Perverse patriotism
’ years ago: 2 years ago:
January 28, 2000 January 29, 1980
aH westsoos LOUIS XIV ED Stephen Heuser pondered the Renée Loth looked at the surging
merger of Time Warner and AOL. American jingoism as hostages re
www. hothotheat.com “Let’s get this straight. America mained in Iranian captivity.
Online — a 15-year-old company “Tom sells [the buttons] to his
whose primary contribution to friends in high school. He is an en
world culture has been the dissem- terprising young man. ‘You see the
ination of 6.5 billion unwanted one with Mickey Mouse? Yeah,
disks — acquires a family of com Mickey Mouse givin’ the finger. It
BALLROOM panies that have influenced REIGNING MEN: overzealous adolescents turned says, HEY, IRAN! It’s dynamite. I think
decades of American life. This is out in force for Boyz II Men in 1995. it’s bringin’ the country together.
huge. It also feels a bit like Scien- “Why is this disturbing? Isn’t a
15 LANSDOWNE STREET, BOSTON tology acquiring the Catholic button reading UP YOUR AYATOLLAH
Church. The big reason for the merger is a raging junkie or a High Times subscriber just as innocent as one reading Disco
‘synergy’ — AOL will now have access to or anything. But I had just graduated from suCKS? Isn’t it just kind of a joke?
120 million magazines a week in which college, and during that post-finals week, “Tom Young is enlisting in the Coast
to distribute yet more unwanted CD- before I financed my move east on my Guard as soon as he finishes high school.
ROMs, and AOL subscribers who want to Visa card, | had done more than my share He hopes he'll get shipped to Iran. ‘I think
read Sports Illustrated or watch Warner of goodbye bong hits. If that piss test we should go in there, blow them away,
Bros. cartoons will be able, in the privacy made me out to be some kind of recalci- and steal all their oil.’ What if the
of their own homes, to wait 20 minutes trant hophead, I would be, to quote an old hostages are released before he graduates?
for them to download.” buddy, ‘up an unsanitary tributary without ‘It’s still worth going in there. For the oil.’
a means of propulsion.’ ” It is said without hostility. He is so young
Holler at your Boyz he doesn’t know how to be macho yet, but
1 years ago: The cutting edge he does want to be patriotic.”
January 27, 1995 2 years ago:
Michael Freedberg endured overzealous January 29, 1985 Sad state of radio
adolescents at the Worcester Centrum. Susan Orlean examined the effica- 30 years ago:
TARANTULA “Was it worth $45 a ticket to see a ciousness of Dial Media’s Ginsu-knife January 28, 1975
whole lot of Boyz Ii Men, a stupendous commercials. Gail Kelley talked to past and present
set by Babyface, and about a glimpse and “So effective is Dial’s mélange of WBCN employees about the station’s di-
a half of a singer named Brandy a week speed-editing, testimonial, demonstra- minished edge.
ago at the Worcester Centrum? If you're tion, and stop-and-chop visuals that “We know we're not turning heads
a nine-to-15-year-old girl, the answer, at these ads alone have landed a Ginsu anymore,’ muses Charles Laquidara, one
least for Boyz II Men, has to be ‘Yes!’ Be- (Amazing!’) set in one out of every 100 of the station’s veteran announcers.
cause there you were — an entire palla- homes in America. ‘There’s no counterculture, there’s no
dium of you — screaming like crazy for “Including that of at least one NYNEX counter-anything. I’m not an anthropolo-
every ham-it-up move in every sentimen- employee. I call directory assistance for gist but I know the world’s different
tal song the Philadelphia foursome sang. Rhode Island in search of Ginsu. since Woodstock.’...
“You screamed when Shawn Stockman “ Directory assistance. What city?’ “The station has been more commer-
writhed on the floor, you screamed when “Cranston. I'd like the number for cial than I would have taken it,’ claims
Wanya Morris grabbed his crotch, you Ginzu, G-i-n-z-u.’ Arnie Ginsberg, who no longer works
even screamed when Michael McCary, “The operator clears her throat. ‘No, there. ‘But when you come right down to
the group’s bass voice, grunted his way it’s G-i-n-s-u.’ it, BCN is a mirror of the social con-
through a few portentously low notes.” “ ‘Are you sure?’ sciousness of the general public, and
“Very sure. I have some myself.’... that social consciousness is at a low ebb
To pee or not to pee ‘The first Ginsu (‘Cuts Pineapple!’) ad right now. The responsiveness of WBCN
15 years ago: was almost too successful for its own goes hand in hand with that. Sure, I’ve
January 26, 1990 good. Sure, it was bringing in almost run into an enormous number of people
Lamar B. Graham panicked upon 40,000 orders a day, but according to who are disappointed with the station,
learning of a new company policy some customer mail, it was also inspir- but those people have changed, too.’ ”
“Undergo a urinalysis for drugs? The ing youngsters to karate-chop Mom’s
words had a hellish, clinical ring. My tomato plants. ‘Please,’ pleaded one Miles’s metamorphosis
FRI. FEBRUARY25 face suddenly felt hot and tingly. such customer, ‘could you use a water- 3 years ago:
“J spent the next three or four days guz- melon instead?’ January 28, 1970
SPM DOORS « 7PM SHOW « 18+ zling coffee and fruit juices. Not that I was “Done. The Ginsu (‘Cuts Cheese!’) II Bob Blumenthal discussed the recent
transformation of a jazz great.
“The word is out that Miles has gone
REALITY CHECK rock, and his recent appearance on the
by David Sipress cover of Rolling Stone confirms the no-
tion that he has taken his place in the
youth culture, alongside such other un-
likelies as Bessie Smith (you know, the
greatest before Janis!), Robert Johnson,
Muddy Waters, and BB. The older fans,
many of whom would never admit to
listening to rock records, still buy his
records, still vote for him in the jazz
polls, and still turn out to see him. ‘It’s
that thing,’ Miles once said in despera-
tion (or was it?) when pressed to define
the quality that makes some musicians
great; and once a listener yields to
Miles’s thing, he is hooked for life.”
Where are they now?
Stephen Heuser is assistant health-
and-science editor at the Boston Globe
Michael Freedberg writes about dance
music for the Boston Phoenix, the Village
Tickets available at the Orpheum Theatre Box Office, Ticketmaster.com, or Voice, and the New York Times. Lamar B.
call 617-228-6000. Tickets available at Avalon and Axis night of show only. Graham is senior editor at Rolling Stone j
Get tickets at TTeSapAartRycAonGceTrtYs. coCm. ONCEait REx TS.MeOr M Rewards “The news? You can’t handle the news.“ On-Line. Susan Orlean is a writer for the
New Yorker. Renée Loth is editorial-page
editor at the Boston Globe.
8 JANUARY 28, 2005 NEWS & FEATURES THE BOSTON PHOENIX
~, ~ ) =«Ua Sra] 6 Filh S onOMDers F 2000
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moon signs
BY SYMBOLINE DAI
If the Sun & Moon should doubt
They'd immediately Go out.
William Blake
HIS WEEK’S LUNAR phase involves my personal fa-
vorite, the last-quarter moon. This can be a very in-
formative time. How? If there are problems with events r—a_e— .
or projects that emerged from January 10 onward, short-
comings might become more evident this week. Which
is not to say they can't be fixed — plenty of improvements
are possible, especially for fire and air signs with lots
of energy. However, doubt should afflict Aries who are
being buffeted by forces they cannot control (and who
probably are thoroughly convinced they are in control).
Thursday, January 27 m
Waning moon in Virgo. A great day to be pissy, a th
though not quite pissed off. Gemini and Pisces in par Ww
ticular will unveil their waspish side (or even their WASPish m
side weird plaid combinatior r overu: f youthfu
Virgo, ignore the conflict between your perfectionist imp
and your willingness to rock the boat. Taurus, if you need t
de-clutter »day through Saturday is your time to clean. Get
the boxes and start hurling stuff
Friday, January 28
Waning moon in Virgo. Take the time and do it right
it’s worth it, particularly for Taurus and Capricorn, who
feel their interpersonal skills have been pretty darn good for the
past month. Virgo, ‘tis better to have loved and lost than just to
have lost. Sagittarius, have you done everything you intended to
do this month? Done it a little hit harder, faster, long
Saturday, January 29
Waning moon in Virgo/Libra. The afternoon is best
spent on one's ow rticularly for Pisces, Gemin
and Sagittarius), but the ever ng is terrific for coupling up
Also for getting dressed up, even if you don’t think you have
to. Virgo is painstaking, but see what you can get rid of today
Libra should feel magnanimous this weekend generosity
becomes you. VOC 4:07 to 5:13 p.m
Sunday, January 30
Case closed
Waning moon in Libra. This moon sign adores balance
so you may hear comments like, “Well, consider both
sides,” or other equivocating. Leo and Sagittarius are in a good
place in terms of how they move through the world, but Aries
may be trying too hard. Good thing Libra is there to say, “Well
consider both sides, but what you rea//y want to do is
Chances are it’s time for a new bag for your
Monday, January 31
laptop, iPod, digital camera, or cell phone Waning moon in Libra; Mercury enters Aquarius. A
good day for meetings, particularly one-on-one. Also
splendid for dropping large sums on elegant versions of objects
that come in pairs (shoes, salt-and-pepper shakers). Cancer and
O, THE HOLIDAYS are over the gym or on a run. Don’t want Capricorn, tomorrow is your day to make up for the irritation
and you're finally getting the Where to find it: to put it in your sweaty pocket that came today. Libra, have you suddenly become the unwit
hang of using your new lap- * Acme Made, www.acmemade.com. with your jangling keys? Don’t ting center of attention? VOC 10:21 p.m. to 1:51 a.m
top, iPod, cell phone, or digital * Best Buy, Landmark Center, 401 Park Drive, Boston, sweat it — check out
camera without referring constantly [phone]; 100 CambridgeSide Place, Cambridge, Xtrememac, where you'll find Tuesday, February 1
to the instruction manual. Now [phone]; www.bestbuy.com. Sports Wraps ($29.95) for Waning moon in Scorpio. Cut to the heart of the matter
comes the next hurdle: toting your * Case Closed Bags, www.caseclosedbags.com. iPods and iPod Minis; they come (At your peril if you're a Leo or Aquaritss — that knife
new gadget to and from school, * Cross, 0 Brattle Street, Cambridge, [phone]. in a variety of colors, keep an could remove a little too much meat.) Scorpio is nicely posi
work, vacations, or social gather * eBags, www.ebags.com. iPod secure and dry, and leave the tioned among earth, air, and fire companions, and could play
ings — without scratching or crack- ¢ Urban Outfitters, 361 Newbury Street, Boston, (617) controls accessible for mid-work- both sides against the middle. Cancer and Capricorn, don’t hesi
ing it. And, of course, doing it in 236-0088; 11 JFK Street, Cambridge, (617) 864-007; out switches. Xtrememac also of- tate, and don’t over-apologize for the weekend's transgressions.
high (tech) fashion. www.urbanoutfitters.com. fers tons of other accessories,
Wednesday, February 2
For this purpose, we were once re- * Xtrememac, www.extrememac.com. such as silicone no-slip iPod
stricted to functional (and rather covers ($29.95/three-pack) in Waning moon in Scorpio; Jupiter retrogrades in Libra;
tame) padded black-leather ac- every color of the fluorescent Groundhog Day. In the next month, only Libras born before
cessories, which are still easy to find at Best rainbow, belt clips ($7.95), and dashboard mounts ($7.95). October 12 will feel as if their lives resemble that Bill Murray
Buy and eBags. But if you’re an Meanwhile, Acme Made, available online and at Cross, of- movie. Taurus folks should beware, as this moon gets them agi
adventurous technophile who fers a slightly more adult version of the laptop case tated, while Scorpios are in fine form and faster than a speeding
prefers something a little ($79-$270), with clean lines, sharp patterns, and a streamlined stinger. Cancer, a helpful urge could get you into some heart
more attention-grabbing, look that’s enough to make you want to bring your computer ab- rending drama. Is it worth it? VOC 5:56 p.m. to 7:21 Thursday.
you're in luck. Stores and solutely everywhere. Case Closed Bags, another online source,
Web sites are capitalizing on was created by two women who identified a dearth of “cute KEY TO MOON SIGNS
the personal-infotainment cases” and set out to make their own. They’ve succeeded, and
boom, offering classy and their laptop cases are in- This horoscope traces the passage of the moon, not the sun. Simply
catchy carriers that also pro- deed adorable. Also eye- read from day to day to watch the moon's influence as it moves
vide the protection your pre- catching are their cell- through the signs of the zodiac
cious electronics need. phone holders emotWihoneanl tchyec lme,o oann d isy oinu ycoaunr seuxnp ecsti gni, ncyroeua searde ibnesgiignhnt inagn d a enmeowt io2n8a-lditayy
At Urban Outfitters, ($24.95-$39.95), which When the moon moves into the sun sign opposite yours (see below)
look for brightly colored lap- come in surprising pat- expect to have difficulties dealing with the opposite sex, family, or
top sleeves ($34) and terns such as black-and- authority figures; social or romantic activities will not be at their best
matching iPod holders white houndstooth with When the moon is in Aries, it opposes Libra, and vice versa. Other
($26) from Lifepod, a com- pink-leather trim. Coappproisciotrino,n s Learoe/ AqTuaaurriuuss/,Sc oarnpdi o,V irGgeom/iPniisc/eSsa.g ittTahre iumso,o n Casntcaeysr / in each
pany whose motto is “Form With all these sleek sign approximately two and a half days.
follows funktion.” Choose ei- options — which can As the moon moves between signs, it will sometimes become “void
ther the orange-and-pink actually be justified as of course,” making no major angles to planets. Consider this a null
polka dot or the blue-and- practical — do you need time and try to avoid making or implementing decisions if you can
green kitschy apple pattern any more incentive to But Fiotr's Sgyrmebato lifonre brDaaii’nss tsournm-isnigg n horoscopes and advice column, visit
and prepare to get noticed. learn how to use that our Web site at www.bostonphoenix.com
One place you're likely to thing?
want to listen to your new iPod is at — Deirdre Fulton Symboline Dai can be reached at [email protected]
10 JANUARY 28, 2005 NEWS & FEATURES. THE BOSTON PHOENIX