Body Language Secrets to Win More Negotiations: How to Read Any Opponent and Get What You Want

163 Pages·2016·1.3 MB·English

by  Greg Williams

“Once you read Greg’s latest book, Body Language Secrets To Win More
Negotiations, and apply the easy to use trategies, you’ll be able to get more out
of every negotiation you are in. In addition to the easy to apply negotiation
strategies, he also gives you a ‘how to’ to detect Body Language and other
nonverbal signals whether you are negotiating in person or over the phone. With
this combination, once you apply what you discover in this book, you will have a
huge advantage in every aspect of your life.”
—Patryk Wezowski, founder of Center for Body Language, World’s #1 Body
Language Training for Business “Body Language Secrets To Win More
Negotiations is the ultimate guide to making better decisions, fewer mistakes,
and knowing what to do when others don’t have a clue. Recognizing the
meaning of everyone’s moves… from a flinch to a hand gesture to a half smile…
is your answer to making your own supersmart moves in a negotiation.”
—Greg Hague, creator of the “22-Step Home Sale Formula” featured in Forbes
& 220 publications worldwide “Greg Williams shows us every prospect is an
open book in, Body Language Secrets To Win More Negotiations, and he just
gave us the secret code. Finally, a book that shows us how they are thinking!
Now you can make all the right moves and win! We always thought every shift
in the chair meant something, and Greg Williams shows s what it means and
how to use it! Please don’t give this book “Body Language Secrets To Win More
Negotiations,” to my competitors. I want them to make all the wrong moves!”
—Jeffrey Hayzlett, primetime TV and podcast host, Chairman C-Suite Network
Body Language Secrets
TO WIN MORE NEGOTIATIONS
HOW TO READ ANY OPPONENT AND GET WHAT YOU
WANT
GREG WILLIAMS WITH PAT IYER
Copyright © 2016 by Greg Williams
All rights reserved under the Pan-American and International Copyright
Conventions. This book may not be reproduced, in whole or in part, in any form
or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or
by any information storage and retrieval system now known or hereafter
invented, without written permission from the publisher, The Career Press.
BODY LANGUAGE SECRETS TO WIN MORE NEGOTIATIONS
EDITED BY PATRICIA KOT
TYPESET BY KRISTIN GOBLE
Cover design by Howard Grossman/12E Design
Printed in the U.S.A.
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DEDICATION
To my mother, Rosa M. Johnson, who left us in this life much too early. Thank
you for the lessons you instilled in me that led to me becoming a Master
Negotiator. I know you’d be proud of your baby boy for the contributions I’m
making to the world.
To Milburn Preston, a man from whom I learned so much about life and
manhood. Thank you. It took some time for me to grow, but I made it!
To Joel Adams, a man who enlightened me to the easy and hard lessons of
reality in business and politics. I gained more insight from those lessons than
you’ll ever know.
I’d also like to thank my developmental editor, Pat Iyer, for her friendship
and dedication to this project. Her writing abilities added immeasurable value to
this book.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Introduction
Chapter One Silent Signals: Observing Subtle and Not-So-Subtle Cues
Chapter Two Microexpressions: Catching One-Second Bursts of Emotion
Chapter Three Primers: Preparing for the Emotional Game
Chapter Four Colors: Controlling the Emotional Palette
Chapter Five Brain Games: Understanding the Role of Emotions and Psychology
in Negotiation
Chapter Six Triggers: Discovering the Hot Buttons that Stimulate Emotions
Chapter Seven Nodes: Appreciating the Affinity Principle
Chapter Eight Persuaders: Tapping the Power of Influence
Chapter Nine Techniques: Creating a Successful Negotiation
Chapter Ten Strategies: Putting It All Together
Index
About the Author
INTRODUCTION
You look around the poker table. You’re holding a strong hand—a ir of jacks
and two sevens. The other three players have matched your last raise. Should
you raise again?
To your left, Jose, the youngest player, who is wearing sunglasses to ide his
eyes, taps his left thumb on the table. Across from you, Georgia absentmindedly
stirs her gin and tonic. Then there’s Jamal, the old fellow sitting to your right,
noisily sucking on a lozenge and scratching his nose.
You go all in, pushing your whole pile of chips to the middle of the table.
When Jose and Jamal fold and Georgia confidently turns over her two aces, you
smile as you rake in the pot.
You won because you skillfully read your opponents’ “tells,” those subtle and
not-so-subtle signals that inadvertently reveal peoples’ thoughts and emotions.
Master negotiators do the same, “reading between the lines” to detect the body
language signals that will help them read the minds of their opponents. And, of
course, they carefully control their own “tells” or body language.
Body Language Secrets to Win More Negotiations reveals surprising insights
into the ways body language, microexpressions, and emotional intelligence
influence the outcome of every negotiation. In these pages you not only will
learn how to interpret nonverbal messages, but you will discover many practical
tools for turning those silent cues to your advantage at the bargaining table.
What can you expect to gain from this book? Body Language Secrets to Win
More Negotiations will help you discover what the other negotiators are
revealing through body language and micro expressions. It will teach you how to
control your own expressions and body language. The way you react—or don’t
—can make a profound difference in a deal. This book will also assist you at the
negotiation table by helping you be more adept at leveraging your knowledge of
emotional intelligence, negotiation ploys, and emotional hot buttons, while
enhancing your ability to do so by reading body language.
Think of this book as your guide to achieve much better results in any
Think of this book as your guide to achieve much better results in any
negotiation. Through absorbing the examples, stories, exercises, and negotiation
tips, you will gain many practical tools that will give you greater confidence at
the negotiation table. You will discover how to skillfully read your opponent’s
body language and micro expressions. You will be able to answer these
questions: • How should you set the scene to incorporate subtle methods of
influencing the other negotiator?
• How does color influence a negotiation?
• How can you harness emotion to direct a negotiation?
• Should you negotiate standing up or sitting down?
• What does it mean when a person looks up and to the left?
• What is a negotiator revealing when he starts to sweat?
• What could a brief frown mean?
• How can you use the affinity principle to connect with the other negotiator?
• How can you recognize an empathetic person?
• How can you tell when the other negotiator is lying?
In addition, you will
• be able to employ hidden weapons to guide successful negotiations, such as
setting the scene for the negotiation; • skillfully recognize when you or the
other negotiator is using emotion to influence the outcome of the negotiation
—and learn to use this knowledge to gain an advantage; • be able to employ
an arsenal of negotiation strategies—some you have never considered using
before; • adeptly shift your strategies as you read the other negotiator’s
signals; • overcome common obstacles that hamper your negotiations; • use
a systematic model to plan and execute more successful negotiations; and •
triumph as you win more negotiations.
If you are seeking ways to enhance your negotiation efforts while adeptly
increasing your ability to enhance aspects of your life, Body Language Secrets to
Win More Negotiations is a must-have book for you.
Chapter 1
Silent Signals: Observing Subtle and Not-So-Subtle
Cues
Director of Purchasing Sharma Modi quietly observed the vendor sitting in front
of him. Bill Walters was asking Sharma to make a significant investment in his
products. Sharma observed Bill’s body language. Bill shifted in his seat every
few minutes. His hands trembled when he reached for his coffee cup. There was
a thin sheen of perspiration on his face. Sharma said, “Bill, I have a feeling this
sale means a lot to you.” “Oh no,” Bill replied. “We have plenty of business.”
After thinking about what he observed, Sharma made an offer that was
substantially less than what Bill requested. Bill hesitated and then said, “Fine,
let’s do the deal.”
In this situation, Sharma noted Bill’s signs of anxiety. Even though Bill
actually stated that, “Oh no, we have plenty of business,” that was likely not the
case based on his body language. Bill truly did need the business. Sharma
revised the offer based on that knowledge. In this chapter, you’ll discover how to
use what you sense and see in a negotiation based on the body language that you
discern.
Body Language as Nonverbal Communication
Body language can be verbal and nonverbal. Nonverbal verbal communication is
expressed through your voice, such as clearing your throat. You could be saying,
“I’m getting choked up possibly.” Your body tries to adapt to your environment,
and it makes corrections and sends signals based on how you feel. That’s one
reason why you should always be aware of body language signals.
There are countless forms of nonverbal communication:
• head movement
• rubbing eye, fingers, hands, arm, or leg
• rubbing eye, fingers, hands, arm, or leg
• shifting of body, shuffling or tapping feet
• swinging leg when sitting, drumming fingers
• gesturing with hand toward or moving away
• smiling
• frowning
• scowling
Studies indicate that up to 90 percent of communication is actually
transmitted via body language. Words comprise only 10% of communication.
Other people observe the subtleties that your body language conveys, and thus
90% is a huge percentage of the communication process. Everyone should be
astute about body language signals. You may be saying something that happens
to be exactly opposite to what you really believe. Your body language will
betray you. If your body language is sending a different signal, your message
will be diluted simply because the body language is out of sync with what you
are saying.
You are more aware of body language than you might realize. A lot of times
we will talk about how we felt a certain sensation as a result of interacting with
someone. We are sensing but are not truly conscious of the body language
signals being projected. Also, you will hear nonverbal clues when you speak to
someone over the phone. Even if you’re reading, you can pick up inflections
based on words and tone of the writing.
Body Language from Head to Toe
Pay attention to what people do with their hands, arms, feet, mouth, and head to
become better at sensing body language. Their gestures will give you insight. I’d
like you to imagine that you’re standing in front of Bill, with whom you are
negotiating. I am going to take you on a guided tour of what you should observe
about him.
Expressing body language with the head
Someone’s head gestures will definitely give you insight into what he is
thinking. Tilting his head could mean that he is deliberating. It could also convey
that Bill is inquisitive or in the process of trying to back away from something
that has been said.