Blood, Sweat and Tea

429 Pages·2009·1.5 MB·English

by  Tom Reynolds

BLOOD,
SWEAT
and TEA
Real-Life Adventures
in an Inner-City Ambulance
Tom Reynolds
Dedicated to my mum and brother, who have had to put up with me all
these years. Also to the patients who have given me such pleasure and
writing material. Finally to my workmates in the London Ambulance
Service, who are the best bunch of under-appreciated workers I’ve ever
had the privilege to know.
Table of Contents
Prologue: Too Young
Chapter 1-Why Won’t They Let Me Do This?
Chapter 2-Dear Mr Alcoholic
Chapter 3-A Child is Born…
Chapter 4-Why Would People Even Think It?
Chapter 5-Payment Point
Chapter 6-Single
Chapter 7-Bored, Bored, Bored, Bored…
Chapter 8-Some People Just Can’t Wait
Chapter 9-Maybe it’s Because I’m a Londoner
Chapter 10-Nice New Motors
Chapter 11-My (So-Called) Exciting Life
Chapter 12-Bloody Cat…
Chapter 13-Why This Is a Good Job
Chapter 14-Death and What Follows
Chapter 15-I Do Like Some Drivers…
Chapter 16-The Dangers of Prostitution
Chapter 17-My Night Shift
Chapter 18-I Hate Psychiatric ‘Services’
Chapter 19-Sticky Feet
Chapter 20-Workload
Chapter 21-Night Shifts
Chapter 22-Busy, Busy, Busy
Chapter 23-New Uniforms (But Still Green)
Chapter 24-Daddy, Daughter; Kill
Chapter 25-ORCON!
Chapter 26-Oh…Bollocks…
Chapter 27-‘Donor’ Takes on New Meaning
Chapter 28-Pavlov’s Dog
Chapter 29-Mothering Sunday
Chapter 30-The Other Guy
Chapter 31-Twelve Hours to Go
Chapter 32-Proper Day
Chapter 33-These Boots…
Chapter 34-Gamma GT
Chapter 35-Deaf Old Women
Chapter 36-Hand Over Mouth
Chapter 37-Essential, Not Emergency
Chapter 38-Return of Pavlov’s EMT
Chapter 39-Naughty?
Chapter 40-Too Darn Busy
Chapter 41-How Not to Stop a Stolen Car
Chapter 42-Sunday
Chapter 43-Eight…Nine Down
Chapter 44-Health Copyright
Chapter 45-Venus Transit
Chapter 46-Not All Bad
Chapter 47-Wedding Saga + Pub Fight
Chapter 48-Kick Off
Chapter 49-Only One Stabbing
Chapter 50-Good Shots
Chapter 51-Ethnic Dress
Chapter 52-Small Victories
Chapter 53-Right to ‘Load and Go’?
Chapter 54-The Climax Draws Near…
Chapter 55-Negative
Chapter 56-Fallout
Chapter 57-Booze or Pot?
Chapter 58-Too Quick?
Chapter 59-From One Extreme…
Chapter 60-Driving for the LAS (For Dummies) Part I (Assessment)
Chapter 61-Driving for the LAS (For Dummies) Part 2 (Training)
Chapter 62-Driving for the LAS (For Dummies) Part 3 (The Real Deal)
Chapter 63-Bombs, Bongs and Dive-bombing
Chapter 64-Shouldn’t You Be Dead?
Chapter 65-Crunch…Crunch…Crunch…Masked Symptoms
Chapter 66-An Excellent Bad Day
Chapter 67-Broken Ambulances
Chapter 68-An Apology to A&E Departments
Chapter 69-Knee Trouble
Chapter 70-Drunk and Disorderly
Chapter 71-Favourite Job
Chapter 72-Notting Hill–Stabby, Stabby
Chapter 73-Sad Stories That Stay With You
Chapter 74-Update on Last Posting
Chapter 75-Tricky Extraction
Chapter 76-Cannibals, Schizophrenics and Hermaphrodites (Oh My…)
Chapter 77-Holy Joe’s
Chapter 78-Assaulted and Happy About It
Chapter 79-Dead Babies
Chapter 80-GCS 3/15 Outside The Door
Chapter 81-Protecting Little Old Men From The Police?
Chapter 82-Victims
Chapter 83-Behind Locked Doors
Chapter 84-Substitute
Chapter 85-Nicked
Chapter 86-More Nicked
Chapter 87-You Decide
Chapter 88-Dragging
Chapter 89-Sedation
Chapter 90-Patient Gets Better!!!
Chapter 91-Safety Net
Chapter 92-A Hidden Pregnancy
Chapter 93-Upsetting
Chapter 94-Therapy?
Chapter 95-Dog Teams
Chapter 96-Perils of Drinking (Number I in a Series of 230)
Chapter 97-Security
Chapter 98-Major Incident Cover
Chapter 99-Phonetic
Chapter 100-Odds and Ends
Chapter 101-A Changed Role (the Secret is Out)
Chapter 102-First Night
Chapter 103-Major Food Poisoning Incident–D&V Part 2
Chapter 104-Shopping
Chapter 105-Mobile Phones
Chapter 106-Standby
Chapter 107-Worthwhile (For a Change)
Chapter 108-Happiness is a Warm Pizza
Chapter 109-How to Blog and Not Lose Your Job
Chapter 110-Fit
Chapter 111-45+
Chapter 112-Return Job
Chapter 113-Hoaxes
Chapter 114-Masking Histories
Chapter 115-Carrots
Chapter 116-Doorknob
Chapter 117-Short-Term Memory Loss
Chapter 118-Liars
Chapter 119-Can’t Touch Her
Chapter 120-HAI
Chapter 121-Flat
Chapter 122-Dentist
Chapter 123-Radiating Pain
Chapter 124-Values
Chapter 125-Rough
Chapter 126-Whether the Weather
Chapter 127-Recognised
Chapter 128-Decomp
Chapter 129-Matern-a-water-taxis
Chapter 130-Little Things
Chapter 131-A Happy Job (For a Change)
Chapter 132-Physician Response Unit
Chapter 133-Nowt
Chapter 134-Tesco
Chapter 135-Scum
Chapter 136-Overturned
Chapter 137-A New Definition
Chapter 138-An Hour to Go
Chapter 139-Get Them When They Are Young
Chapter 140-Not Breathing
Chapter 141-Knife Time (Well, Actually a Sword, But You Know What I
Mean…)
Chapter 142-Knife Time II
Chapter 143-Knife Time III
Chapter 144-Flat
Chapter 145-Broomstick
Chapter 146-Apologies to All Police
Chapter 147-Tongue
Chapter 148-Multiple Explosions in London–July 7, 2005
Chapter 149-Today–July 7,2005
Chapter 150-Normality-July 8, 2005
Chapter 151-How to Get Gassed
Chapter 152-Contaminated
Chapter 153-8:30
Chapter 154-Street Resus’
Chapter 155-Things to Do When Hit By a Car…
Chapter 156-Handbags
Chapter 157-Again?
Chapter 158-Decon
Chapter 159-Raised
Chapter 160-Shifting Resources
Chapter 161-And…Relax…
Chapter 162-A Moment of Zen
Chapter 163-Bit Of A Surprise
Chapter 164-Bad Job
Chapter 165-Multiple Trauma and Floppy Children
Chapter 166-Internet Saves Girl!
Chapter 167-Sheer Bloody Terror
Chapter 168-The Benefits of Lovely Weather
Chapter 169-Waitrose
Chapter 170-Sorry
Chapter 171-Saved One!
Chapter 172-A Call to Arms
Chapter 173-Mercy! MRSA!
Chapter 174-80/50
Chapter 175-Unconscious? (Tricks of the Trade)
Chapter 176-Reprieve
Chapter 177-More
Chapter 178-Surprise