Blonde Jokes : The Funniest Clean Blonde Joke Which Will Make You Cry

63 Pages·2016·0.34 MB·English

Table of Contents

I. Blondes with Vehicles

II. Questions and Answers

III. Blondes and Electronics

IV. Blondes Answering Questions

V. Blondes Getting Medical Help

VI. Multiple Blondes

VII. Blondes, Brunettes, and Redheads

VIII. Blondes Offended by Blonde Jokes
IX. Blondes and Money

X. Random Blonde Jokes

I. Blondes with Vehicles

1. A car was driving down the street
when all of a sudden it started swerving.
The car was going back and forth till
someone with a cell phone called the
police. A police officer pulled the car
over. A blonde rolls down the window
and says, “Officer, I'm so glad you are
here. I saw a tree in the road, and then I
saw another. So I had to swerve to keep
from hitting it!"
The officer looks at her and then says,
"Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

2. A blonde has her hair dyed brown. A
few days later she’s out driving through
the countryside when she stops her car to
let a flock of sheep pass. Admiring the
cute woolly creatures, she says to the
shepherd, “If I can guess how many
sheep you have, can I take one?”
The shepherd agrees, so the blonde
thinks for a moment and says, “352.”
The shepherd is amazed, “You’re right!
Which sheep do you want?”
The blonde picks the cutest animal. The
shepherd says to her, “Okay. How’s this
for a bet? If I can guess your real hair
color, can I have my dog back?”
3. A blonde called 911 to report that
someone had stolen her car’s steering
wheel, accelerator, dash board, and
radio. When the police officer came out
to the scene, he called dispatch and said,
“Disregard. She sat in her backseat by
mistake.”

4. A blonde got pulled over for
speeding. When the officer asked her for
her driver’s license, she angrily said, “I
wish you guys would get your act
together. Just yesterday you took my
license away, and now today you expect
me to give it to you?”

5. A police officer pulled a blonde over
for driving down a one-way street. The
officer asked the blonde if she knew
where she was going. She replied, “No,
but wherever I’m going must not be that
great because everyone else is leaving.”

6. A blonde officer pulls over a blonde
driver for speeding. The blonde officer
asks the blonde driver for her driver's
license. The blonde driver tells the
blonde officer that she left her license at
home. The blonde officer says, "That's
fine. I just need to see any form of ID."
The blonde driver goes through her
purse and pulls out a pocket mirror and
hands it over to the blonde officer. The
blonde officer looks into the pocket
mirror and says, "If I had known you
were a cop, I wouldn't have pulled you
over."

7. Two bowling teams, one of all
blondes and one of all brunettes, charter
a double-decker bus for a weekend
bowling tournament. The brunette team
rides in the bottom of the bus and the
blonde team rides on the top level.
The brunette team down below is
whooping it up having a great time,
when one of them realizes she doesn't
hear anything from the blondes upstairs,
so she decides to go up and investigate.
When the brunette reaches the top, she
finds all the blondes frozen in fear,
staring straight ahead at the road and
clutching the seats in front of them. They
all have white knuckles.
The brunette asks, "What the heck's
going on up here? We're having a great
time downstairs!"
One of the blondes looks up and says to
her, "Yeah, but you've got a driver!"

8. As a trucker in Wisconsin stops for a
red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps
out of her car, runs up to his truck, and
knocks on the door. The trucker lowers
the window, and she says "Hi, my name
is Heather and you are losing some of
your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds
down the street. When the truck stops for
another red light, the girl again catches
up. She jumps out of her car, runs up and
knocks on the door. Again, the trucker
lowers the window. As if they've never
spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi, my
name is Heather, and you are losing
some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her
again and continues down the street. At
the third red light, the same thing
happens again.
All out of breath, the blonde gets out of
her car, runs up, knocks on the truck
door. The trucker lowers the window.
Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather,
and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green, the trucker
revs up and races to the next light. When
he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out
of the truck, and runs back to the blonde.
He knocks on her window, and as she
lowers it, he says, "Hi, my name is
Kevin, it is winter and I'm driving the
salt truck!"

9. "I got a compliment on my driving
today," said a blonde to her friend.
"There was a note left on my windshield
it said 'parking fine.'"

II. Questions and Answers

1. Q: Why did 18 blondes go to
the movies together?
A: They heard that 17 and under
were not permitted.

2. Q: How did the blonde break