Beyond loving : intimate racework in lesbian, gay, and straight interracial relationships

240 Pages·2012·1.651 MB·English

by  Amy C. Steinbugler

Beyond Loving
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Beyond Loving
Intimate Racework in Lesbian, Gay, and
Straight Interracial Relationships
amy c. steinbugler
3
3
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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Steinbugler, Amy C.
Beyond loving : intimate racework in lesbian, gay, and
straight interracial relationships / Amy C. Steinbugler.
p. cm.
ISBN 978–0–19–974356–8 (pbk. : alk. paper) —
ISBN 978–0–19–974355–1 (hardcover : alk. paper)
1. Gay couples. 2. Lesbian couples. 3. Heterosexuals. 4. Interracial marriage.
5. Race relations. 6. Race awareness. I. Title.
HQ76.34.S74 2012
306.76′6—dc23 2011050183
ISBN 978–0–19–974356–8
ISBN 978–0–19–974355–1
9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Printed in the United States of America
on acid-free paper
CONTENTS
Acknowledgments vii
Introduction xi
CHAPTER 1 The Historical Roots of Lesbian, Gay, and Heterosexual
Black/White Intimacy 1
CHAPTER 2 Public Interraciality: Navigating Racially Homogeneous
Social Spaces 16
CHAPTER 3 Public Interraciality: Managing Visibility 45
CHAPTER 4 Intimate Interactions: Racework as Emotional Labor 74
CHAPTER 5 Interracial Identities: Racework as Boundary Work 103
CHAPTER 6 White Racial Identities through the Lens of Interracial
Intimacy 131
CONCLUSION: The Intimate Politics of Interraciality 150
Appendix A. Research Methods 162
Appendix B. Respondent Characteristics 168
Notes 177
Bibliography 195
Index 209
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ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book would not exist without the eighty-two people who agreed to
sit with me and share the details of their lives and intimate relation-
ships. They invited me into their homes, introduced me to their families,
and talked to me about their lives. Occasionally they even fed me din-
ner. Their generosity and candor move me still. I especially owe profound
thanks to the four couples who allowed me to “sit in” on their lives for
fi ve weeks. They showed unfailing patience and trust in me that there was
something sociological about all of this. I am sincerely grateful.
This project began as a dissertation at Temple University. In the begin-
ning stages of that process I was fortunate to be mentored by Julia Erick-
sen, who pushed me to develop my own focus and interests and ask the
questions that I wanted to ask. Her intellectual guidance and friendship
have been invaluable; her confi dence and generosity mean more to me
than she could know. At a critical stage in the development of this project,
France Winddance Twine provided crucial support. She challenged me
to take my own ideas seriously; this was a tremendous gift. I was some-
times guided and propelled forward by an outstanding committee, includ-
ing Julia Ericksen, Michelle Byng, Kim Goyette, Sonja Peterson-Lewis,
and France Winddance Twine. My graduate school peers helped me fi n-
ish with my sanity intact. I am indebted to Janice Johnson Dias, Wendy
Sedlak, Vincent Louis, Nicole Gossett-Cousin, Danielle Farrie, Frances
Barlas, Tami Nopper, Maggie Ussery, and Mary Stricker. I also want to
thank Allie Armstrong, Jessica Savage, and Rasheeda Phillips for their
excellent transcriptions and Damien Frierson for assisting me with some
of the early interviews.
For the past several years, I have had the pleasure of working with won-
derful colleagues at Dickinson College. Thank you to Dan Schubert, Susan
Rose, Helene Lee, Erik Love, Stephanie Gilmore, Megan Yost, and Vickie
Kuhn. I also had the extreme good fortune to work with Maggie O’Brien,
whose detective skills, persistence, and quick wit made her an invaluable
research assistant. Helene Lee, Erik Love, Susannah Bartlow, Greg How-
ard, Maggie O’Brien, Stephanie Gilmore, Suman Ambwani, and Jennifer
Froelich-Schaefer made Carlisle, Pennsylvania, feel more like home.
As I reimagined my dissertation as a book, I was inspired by three
qualitative studies that I believe exemplify the power of nesting everyday
lives in a social-structural context. For countless months, I carried copies
of Annette Lareau’s Unequal Childhoods, Prudence Carter’s Keepin’ it
Real, and Karyn Lacy’s Blue-Chip Black back and forth from Philadelphia
to Carlisle. I thank these women for their thoughtful and critical analyses.
In revising the manuscript, I was aided immeasurably by colleagues who
read individual chapters, often more than once, and offered their feed-
back. Thank you to Heather Dalmage, Stephanie Gilmore, Mary Hickert
Herring, Rosanna Hertz, Janice Johnson Dias, Karyn Lacy, Helene Lee,
Robin Leidner, Erik Love, Heather Love, Mignon Moore, Kevin Mum-
ford, Anna Muraco, Eileen O’Brien, Salvador Vidal Ortiz, Mara Stein-
bugler Pohl, Kerry Ann Rockquemore, Renee Romano, Leila Rupp, R.
Tyson Smith, and Maggie Ussery. I also benefi ted from the extraordinary
editorial eye of Katherine Mooney. Her meticulous attention to both the
fi ner points and the bigger picture made my writing clearer. James Cook
at Oxford University Press was a strong ally throughout the process. As
the project came together, Julia Ericksen, Annette Lareau, Antonia Ran-
dolph, and Dan Schubert read the entire manuscript and offered incisive,
detailed comments. I am incredibly grateful to them for their time and
careful attention. I extend heartfelt thanks especially to Annette Lareau,
who swooped in at crucial points and unfailingly stood right by me when
I needed her support most.
During the fi nal months of writing, the line between extreme focus and
extreme isolation was very fi ne and hard to see. Without the patience, gen-
erosity, and love of a small group of people, I might have been forever stuck
on the wrong side of that line. Thank you to Erica Lee, Mara Steinbugler
Pohl, Rebekah Kilzer, Christie Whisman, Etta Pearl Kilzer-Whisman,
Helene Lee, and Erik Love. You made all the difference.
And fi nally, I am indescribably indebted to my family who have loved,
forgiven, and supported me, and offered patience that I have not always
deserved. My sincere love goes to Eileen Altieri, Richard Steinbugler,
Mary Steinbugler, Mara Steinbugler Pohl, David Pohl, Willem Pohl, Don-
namarie Cooper, McKenna Cooper, Jamison Cooper, Lee Connolly, Helen
viii | Acknowledgments
Altieri, Richard Polo, Jimmy Altieri, Jocelyn Altieri, Jim Altieri, Eleanor
Antonucci, Mary Altieri, and Carolyn Altieri. Erica Lee has generously
made room in our lives for this work. Her warmth and humor inspire me
every day.
To Mom, Dad, Mary, Mari, and Erica, who have believed in me from
the beginning, I cannot thank you enough. This book is for you.
Acknowledgments | ix