Being Single in India: Stories of Gender, Exclusion, and Possibility

238 Pages·2022·14.01 MB·English

by  Sarah Lamb

oday, the majority of the world’s population lives in a country

with falling marriage rates, a phenomenon with profound impacts LAMB
on women, gender, and sexuality. In this exceptionally crafted
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ethnography, Sarah Lamb probes the gendered trend of single women
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in India, examining what makes living outside of marriage for women
increasingly possible and yet incredibly challenging. Featuring the stories
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of never-married women as young as 35 and as old as 92, this book offers
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a remarkable portrait of a way of life experienced by women across N
class and caste divides. For women in India, complex social-cultural and G
political-economic contexts are foundational to their lives and decisions,

and remaining unmarried is often an unintended consequence of other �
pressing life priorities. Arguing that never-married women are able to I
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illuminate their society’s broader social-cultural values, Lamb offers a
new and startling look at prevailing systems in India today. G
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“This pathbreaking book offers a vital analysis of the rising but unrec- E
ognized category of single women in a marriage-minded society such
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as India. Through beautifully rendered and diverse stories, Sarah Lamb
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challenges conventional wisdom.”

— , William K. Lanman, Jr. Professor of �
MARCIA C. INHORN �ingle
Anthropology and International Affairs, Yale University N
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“For fans of Lamb’s evocative narratives on Bengali widows, her new book
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provides another rich look at the negative space of marriage: the rare
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demographic of single women in Bengal across class and caste.”
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— , author of The Trouble with Marriage: S �ndia
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Feminists Confront Law and Violence in India o
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“This lively ethnographic account makes several key contributions to o
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feminist anthropological appraisals of marriage as an institution. Lamb G
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renders a compelling, detailed, and sensitive portrait of compulsory het- n
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erosexuality and patriliny as seen from the margins.” e
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—LUCINDA RAMBERG, Associate Professor of Anthropology and , Ex Stories of
Feminist, Gender, and Sexuality Studies, Cornell University c
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and Professor of Anthropology and Women’s, Gender, and Sexuality Stud- P
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A free open access ebook is available upon publication. li
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Learn more at www.luminosoa.org. y
ETHNOGRAPHIC STUDIES IN SUBJECTIVITY, 15
ISBN 978-0-520-38942-7
University of California Press
www.ucpress.edu
Cover design: Claudia Smelser.
9 780520 389427
Cover illustration: irmairma, 123RF. SARAH LAMB
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Being Single in India
ETHNOGRAPHIC STUDIES IN SUBJECTIVITY
Tanya Luhrmann, Editor
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by Amy Borovoy
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10. Unsettled: Denial and Belonging among White Kenyans, by Janet McIntosh
11. O ur Most Troubling Madness: Case Studies in Schizophrenia across Cultures,
by T. M. Luhrmann and Jocelyn Marrow
12. Us, Relatives: Scaling and Plural Life in a Forager World, by Nurit Bird-David
13. The Likeness: Semblance and Self in Slovene Society, by Gretchen Bakke
14. Th e Anatomy of Loneliness: Suicide, Social Connection, and the Search for Relational Meaning
in Contemporary Japan, by Chikako Ozawa-de Silva
15. Being Single in India: Stories of Gender, Exclusion, and Possibility, by Sarah Lamb
Being Single in India
Stories of Gender, Exclusion, and Possibility
Sarah Lamb
UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA PRESS
This publication was made possible in part by a grant from Carnegie
Corporation of New York. The statements made and views expressed
are the responsibility of the author.
University of California Press
Oakland, California
© 2022 by Sarah Lamb
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons [CC BY-NC-ND] license.
To view a copy of the license, visit http://creativecommons.org/licenses.
Suggested citation: Lamb, S. Being Single in India: Stories of Gender,
Exclusion, and Possibility. Oakland: University of California Press, 2022.
DOI: https://doi.org/10.1525/luminos.125
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Names: Lamb, Sarah, 1960– author.
Title: Being single in India: stories of gender, exclusion, and possibility/
Sarah Lamb.
Other titles: Ethnographic studies in subjectivity ; 15.
Description: Oakland, California: University of California Press, [2022] |
Series: Ethnographic studies in subjectivity ; 15 | Includes bibliographical
references and index.
Identifiers: LCCN 2021051585 (print) | LCCN 2021051586 (ebook) |
ISBN 9780520389427 (paperback) | ISBN 9780520389434 (ebook)
Subjects: LCSH: Single women—India—West Bengal. | Single women—
India—West Bengal—Social conditions. | Gender identity—India—
West Bengal. | Marriage—India—West Bengal. | Kinship—India—
West Bengal.
Classification: LCC HQ800.2 .L344 2022 (print) | LCC HQ800.2 (ebook) |
DDC 306.81/53095414—dc23/eng/20211201
LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021051585
LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021051586
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10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
I dedicate this book to
Madhabi—
friend and colleague extraordinaire,
one of the most brilliant, strong, and remarkable women I know.

Contents
List of Illustrations ix
Note on Transliteration xi
Introduction: Thinking Outside Marriage 1
1. On Being Single 21
2. Education and Work 45
3. A Daughter’s and Sister’s Care 70
4. Who Will Care for Me? 91
5. Sexuality and Love 108
6. Never-Married Single Moms 134
7. Pleasure, Friendships, and Fun 154
Conclusion 169
Acknowledgments 177
Notes 181
References 197
Index 213