Bedknobs and Beanstalks An Anthology of M M Fairy Tales

149 Pages·2009·0.54 MB·English

by  Lynley E M

Bedknobs and Beanstalks
A Ravenous Romance™ M/M Original Publication
Edited by EM Lynley
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A Ravenous Romance™ Original Publication
www.ravenousromance.com
Copyright © 2009 by Ravenous Romance
Ravenous Romance™
100 Cummings Center
Suite 123A
Beverly, MA 01915
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in whole or in part
without written permission from the publisher, except by reviewers who may
quote brief excerpts in connection with a review.
ISBN-13: 978-1-60777-306-6
This book is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons living or dead is
purely coincidental.
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BEGIN EXCERPT
Table of Contents
Jack and the Peenstalk by Clancy Nacht 4
The Rebelliously Single Prince by Lenore Black 27
Cry Wolf by Mercy Loomis 42
Kintaro by S.J. Frost 61
Ashes and Crystal by Jason Rubis 92

Handsome and Grateful by Kilt Kilpatrick 114
Swan Made by Mina Kelly 137
King’s Honor by JL Merrow 154
The Merman’s Tail by Jay Di Meo 170
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Introduction
Once upon a time. As children, those four words told us we were about to
enter a brand-new world: scarier, happier, more enchanted than our everyday
life. No matter our own particular expectations and experience with fairy tales,
we knew we were in for a wild ride. Handsome princes would save beautiful
damsels in distress and the ogres never got the girl.
Perhaps in our own stories, or in our own lives, we aren’t quite satisfied
with those happily-ever-afters. What sound-minded prince would choose any of
those airheaded bosomy blondes that populate familiar animated versions of the
original, much darker, and more ominous tales made famous by the Brothers
Grimm?
Not to mention, fairy tales were often used as bedtime stories.
Well, put all that behind you and prepare for a new type of fairy tale. Not
only are they guaranteed to get you into bed—though not for sleep—you won’t
find a single of those old-fashioned stereotypical characters.
Instead enter a world where a magic cock ring can grow into a mighty
peenstalk, or an unhappy shepherd can meet the sexiest wolf imaginable. A
Japanese youth with the strength of a bear finds himself weak in the face of a
beautiful samurai, and a young man in a ball gown can charm a prince to
distraction. These are but a few of the adventures that await you, once upon a
time…
EM Lynley
September 2009
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Jack and the Peenstalk
by Clancy Nacht
Once upon a time, in a suburb not very far away, there was a young man
named Jack. He was unemployed due to the economic downturn and the fact that
he'd majored in philosophy, which had only qualified him to be a barista in the
first place—and now Starbucks was cutting back. He lived with his mother in a
house that was too big and too expensive, because she'd applied for and gotten a
loan she could not afford even before she lost all of her money in the tanking
stock market.
"Jack, Jack, we have to do something. The bank is going to foreclose!" His
mother’s voice woke him with a start.
She stood in the doorway of his bedroom, a bejeweled hand waving an
official-looking piece of paper. It had to be around noon, given the quality of
light. He didn't even remember when he'd gone to bed.
"I can go see if the temping agencies have anything for me." As far as he
was concerned, a job was just a lot of work, the thought of which made him
tired. It reflected in his tone.
She smacked him on the side of the head with the foreclosure notice,
ruffling his golden hair. "What would you do for a temping agency? You don't
have any useful skills! You majored in philosophy. No one needs a philosopher
these days!"
He held up his hand to stop the beating. “Ow, stop that! I'm enlightened. I
understand the great truths of the human spirit now. Plus, the dean of that college
was really hot."
"Oh, Jack." She sat at the foot of his bed and buried her face in her hands.
"If only you'd stuck with him. He was wealthy. We could've lived in his
mansion!"
"Pfft." Jack held up a pinkie. "He may have had money, but he was
deficient beneath the belt. I cannot be expected to live that way."
"Useless!" She shook her head in her hands. "You're completely useless
and we're going to end up on the streets."
Frowning, Jack sat up next to her, rubbing the crust from his eyes before
looking at her again, or more specifically, the giant diamond ring on her hand.
"We could sell that."
"What?" She looked up to see what Jack was eyeing. Realizing what he
meant, she held out her hand to examine it. "My... my Precious?"
"I really regret letting you watch the Lord of the Rings trilogy with me.”
Pursing her lips, she appeared to consider Jack’s suggestion, then finally
pulled the ring off. "I guess it's okay to sell it. I really only married your father
for the money. He was pretty"—she held up her pinkie—"too."
Jack took the three-carat diamond solitaire from her and held it up to the
light streaming in through his bedroom window, feeling smug about his own
generous member. "Thank God that wasn't a trait I inherited."
After being tuned away by all of the pawnbrokers to whom he showed the
ring, Jack was discouraged.
"That thing is radiating heat, it's so hot!" one insisted when Jack showed it
to him.
"No, really, it's my mom's," insisted Jack.
"What, are you selling it to buy drugs? I don't want to get dragged into the
middle of that. You suburban boys get a little taste of heroin and then you start
stealing family jewels and then cops come in and...yeah, not getting in the
middle of that, kid."
"I don't do heroin! I'm naturally thin!" Jack pulled up his sleeves to show
he had no tell-tale track marks, but it was all to no avail. The pawnbrokers
thought he was a junkie who injected through his toes and he could persuade
them no different.
By nighttime he was feeling dejected. "My mom's right. I really am
useless."
Rather than heading directly home, Jack decided the whole day wouldn’t
be a total write-off if he could at least get laid. The line at his favorite gay bar,
Wizards, was as chock full of lonely, drunk, hot guys as ever. He elbowed his
way in, getting a free pass from the bouncer he’d blown once. Or twice. Maybe a
few more times than that. Bouncers were useful friends.
The rhythm pumped and the lights dazzled as he watched men in tight T-
shirts and hot pants dry humping to the beat. He intended to plop himself at the
bar and tell his miseries to the bartender in the hopes of scoring a few free drinks
and maybe some pity sex.
"Oh, honey, I could find lots of uses for you," said a queen painted up in
glitter and eyeliner who waylaid him on his path.
But Jack's once-over revealed a bit of lack in the sack and after a pointed
glare, Jack said, "As if."
"Bitch!" The queen hustled off to the other side of the club, leaving Jack to
wade through the dance floor to the bar.
The one thing Jack was good at was getting men to buy him drinks, so he
sat at the bar, sipping a flirtini and wearing his mother's ring on his pinkie.
"Oh my, what a big... stone... you have," said a tall daddy. He looked and
smelled expensive, but his gray hair and beard definitely rated a thumbs-down
from Jack.
"Well, I'm trying to sell it, but people around here just don't seem to
appreciate the three C's." He wouldn't go anywhere with this guy but with any
luck, perhaps he would buy Jack a drink, or maybe even the ring. He looked like
the sort of guy who would normally wear a diamond pinkie ring.
"Oh, I do. I very much appreciate a diamond ring. What are you asking for
it?" The gentleman sat down on the stool next to Jack and the colored lights
dazzled in his gray hair and beard.
"It's a steal at ten thousand dollars." Jack had been told to accept no less
than five.
"I don't have that kind of cash on me, but I can give you my talisman." The
man unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a carpeted chest of white hair and a cock ring
tied to a strip of leather hanging around his neck. While this wasn't that
remarkable in a club like this, the size of the cock ring made Jack's mouth water.
It almost looked the size of a halo. He could shove his whole head through it.
Jack squirmed in his chair and tried very hard not to look at the man's
crotch. "That's yours?"
"In a manner of speaking, yes. It does belong to me, but I do not wear it."
"Oh." Jack slumped on the stool, wondering why he'd gotten his hopes up.
"It's very valuable. It's magic, in fact. It will lead you to what you treasure
most." The man’s eyes glimmered as he said it, which Jack attributed to the
light, but one could never be too sure. He sniffed his flirtini to make sure no one
had slipped anything in it.
"And I’ll trade it for that diamond ring. You're getting the better deal,
really."
"What I treasure most...like money?" asked Jack. "Or can I meet the man
who wears that?" Jack pointed to the cock ring.
"Yes." The daddy stood up again and with one swift tug on the cock ring,
he pulled the necklace off.
Jack felt almost possessed as he pulled the diamond ring off of his pinkie
and handed it to the older man with one hand, taking the large cock ring with the
other.
"Good choice," said the man, and before Jack could say anything else, the
man had vanished.
Jack held the cock ring in both hands, feeling the warmth of it from the
man's body. He imagined the size of cock that would fit in it and shivered. "And
money."
Jack was very pleased with himself. He'd done a good job. A good job
indeed.
"You what?" his mother shrieked when Jack returned at 4 a.m. smelling of
vodka and drenched in glitter.
He held up the cock ring like it was a trophy. "The man said I would find
the man who fits this, and that I could get money!"
"What man said that? Are you drunk? High? A complete idiot?" She
snatched the cock ring from him. "You've doomed us! We're going to live on the
street and all we have is this stupid necklace!"
"That's the thing, Mom." Jack tried to snatch the cock ring back, but
missed. "That's not a necklace!"
At that announcement, she wrinkled her nose and looked at the shiny silver
object in her hand and recoiled. Then she stomped to the back door, opened it
and flung it out of the house like a Frisbee.
"Mom! What? Why would you toss that away?" Jack started for the door.
She put her arm out stopping him before he could chase after it. "You
leave it out there. You leave it there and I want you to go to bed, and when you
get up in the morning and you're sober, I want you to think about what you've
done!"
"But—" Jack reached for the door, seeing the shine of the cock ring in the
grass, but his mother blocked his way. He sighed in defeat and went to bed.
After what felt like a full night's sleep, Jack awoke to darkness. He hated
when that happened, when he didn't get enough sleep and things were still dark
and he couldn't get back to sleep. His digital clock read 1 p.m. By now, even if it
was storming, daylight should be streaming through his bedroom window.
Wondering if there had been a power outage that shorted out his clock, he
looked outside for confirmation it was indeed still night. What he saw instead
was a thick, fat cock with a maze of purple-blue veins growing from the grass in
his backyard, outlined by the large cock ring. He twisted his body to see as high
up as he could out the window, but it appeared the penis extended way up into
the clouds.
Jack didn't even bother to put anything on over the plaid boxers he'd worn
to bed, and ran out the back door, half drooling at the size of the enormous peen
and half worrying what the Home Owners Association would say about it.
But there it was, standing tall and proud in all of its penis-y glory, veins
standing out as it strained up into the clouds. Jack shielded his eyes as he looked
up at it, gaze drawn to the veins when he noticed a pattern. From tip to tail, so to
speak, the swirl of skin and veins formed the latticework of a ladder begging to
be climbed. Jack looked to his left, to his right, and finally behind him. No one
was around. No signs, no police, no one screaming about the unapproved phallus
in the back yard. He thought again of the daddy at the bar and his enticing
promise of Jack finding what he treasured most.
The message couldn't have been plainer, so Jack mounted the cock, and
began climbing up into the sky to find out what fate might hold for him.
It was a long but rewarding climb as the warm mass expanded with each
few feet Jack ascended. While he knew there was nothing he could realistically
do with such a huge dick, climbing one was making him unbearably horny,
particularly as the shiny tip came into view.
As if by magic, he didn't even feel tired by the climb, each movement
causing his cock to swell with the one he was walking up, almost as if they were
in sync.
When he finally reached the tip, he flopped down across the hole and
closed his eyes as he slipped his hand under his waistband. With as horny as
climbing the cock had made him, it didn’t take long, and soon he felt that eye-
crossing bliss of ecstasy. But he also felt something warm at his back, then the
sudden disorientation of being airborne.
Now far below him, the tip of his cock looked small but still spurted as
Jack was propelled through the white fog of clouds. Normally he was terribly
afraid of heights, but in the afterglow of such a satisfying orgasm, he found
flying quite pleasant and simply rode the wave of come as it gently floated
downwards. He wondered absently if he was going to fall all the way back to
Earth and come to a very messy end. All in all, he would've called his adventure
worthwhile. Few could claim to have climbed a giant prick into the sky and to
have enjoyed such a unique pleasure of jacking off on the tip of a giant cock.
But instead of falling to earth, he soon found solid ground beneath his
come-spattered feet. The grass was almost blindingly green and velvety soft
under his bare feet. In the distance, he saw a huge stone castle bedecked with
giant penis spires that were all but lost in the clouds. It was surrounded by a
huge wall that opened into an arch with a carpet of red grass rolled out before it.
As Jack stood at the entrance, he wondered if what was inside was so
terrible or scary it didn't need to be walled off and protected. Then again, having
a castle in the sky that can only be accessed by floating on a wave of come from
a giant peen probably didn’t get a lot of visitors.
The outer wall of the castle had a huge archway that opened onto a
beautiful courtyard with a stone fountain that trickled crystal water from three
oversized cocks. It was there Jack decided he should wash up, so he stepped out