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Becoming an Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist: The Workbook PDF

418 Pages·2005·3.8 MB·English
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Preview Becoming an Emotionally Focused Couple Therapist: The Workbook

Brent Bradley, Jim Furrow, Alison Lee, Gail Palmer, Doug Tilley, Scott Woolley The Workbook Susan M. Johnson Brent Bradley, Jim Furrow, Alison Lee, Gail Palmer, Doug Tilley, Scott Woolley NEW YORK LONDON Published in 2005 by Published in Great Britain by Routledge Routledge Taylor & Francis Group Taylor & Francis Group 270 Madison Avenue 2 Park Square New York, NY 10016 Milton Park, Abingdon Oxon OX14 4RN © 2005 by Taylor & Francis Group, LLC Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis Group Printed in the United States of America on acid-free paper 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 International Standard Book Number-10: 0-415-94747-2 (Softcover) International Standard Book Number-13: 978-0-415-94747-3 (Softcover) No part of this book may be reprinted, reproduced, transmitted, or utilized in any form by any electronic, mechanical, or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including photocopying, microfilming, and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, without written permission from the publishers. Trademark Notice: Product or corporate names may be trademarks or registered trademarks, and are used only for identification and explanation without intent to infringe. Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Catalog record is available from the Library of Congress Visit the Taylor & Francis Web site at http://www.taylorandfrancis.com and the Routledge Web site at Taylor & Francis Group is the Academic Division of T&F Informa plc. http://www.routledge-ny.com CONTENTS Preface............................................................................................................................. ii SECTION I: THEORETICAL OVERVIEW AND SUMMARY OF INTERVENTIONS ........ 1 1. INTRODUCTION: THE NATURE OF EFT ................................................................... 3 2. THEORETICAL BACKGROUND TO EFT .................................................................... 13 3. INTERVENTION IN EFT .............................................................................................. 41 SECTION II: THE TREATMENT PROCESS ........................................................................ 103 4. STEPS 1 AND 2: ASSESSMENT AND CYCLES ........................................................... 105 5. STEPS 3 AND 4: DE-ESCALATION .............................................................................. 141 6. STEPS 5 AND 6: EXPANDING AND HEIGHTENING EMOTION .............................. 165 7. STEP 7 AND KEY CHANGE EVENTS: RE-ENGAGEMENT AND SOFTENING ........ 193 8. STEPS 8 AND 9: CONSOLIDATION ............................................................................ 239 SECTION III: SPECIAL ISSUES AND FAMILY INTERVENTIONS .................................. 257 9. COMMON PROBLEMS AND IMPASSES ..................................................................... 259 10. WOUNDS AND TRAUMAS: FORGIVENESS AND HEALING ................................... 277 11. EMOTIONALLY FOCUSED FAMILY THERAPY (EFFT) ............................................ 293 12. CONFESSIONS OF AN EFT THERAPIST ................................................................... 311  i Contents APPENDIX A: EFT RESOURCES ................................................................................. 327 APPENDIX B: HELPING YOURSELF LEARN EFT FOR COUPLES ........................... 333 APPENDIX C: BEGINNING AN EFT COUPLE SESSION: A CHECKLIST ................. 335 APPENDIX D1: UNDERSTANDING YOUR NEGATIVE CYCLE ................................ 337 APPENDIX D2: WHEN WE’RE NOT GETTING ALONG: FEELINGS, THOUGHTS, AND BEHAVIORS ......................................................................................................... 339 APPENDIX E: EFT ASSESSMENT FORM ................................................................... 341 APPENDIX F: HOMEWORK FOR COUPLES ............................................................... 343 APPENDIX G: EFT TRAINING NOTE FORM ............................................................. 345 Answer.Section............................................................................................................... 347 References....................................................................................................................... 393 About.the.Authors.......................................................................................................... 395 Index............................................................................................................................... 397 PREFACE This workbook is designed to help therapists and counselors use the emotionally focused perspective and interventions to transform couple and family relationships. It is based on two decades of practice, research, and writing. The book should be used in conjunction with the manual for EFT (The.Practice.of.Emotionally.Focused.Couple.Therapy:.Creating. Connection, 2nd ed., Brunner-Routledge, 2004) and other resources, including training videotapes, found on the EFT Web site (http://www.eft.ca). A list of EFT supervisors is also included on the website. To feel confident in EFT and use it effectively with different kinds of couples, most thera- pists should read the manual and additional chapters and articles, attend training with an EFT trainer, and obtain clinical consultation/supervision. Such diligent training is required for any form of psychological intervention but especially one in which a therapist is intervening in an ongoing, multidimensional, and emotionally powerful interpersonal drama. Becoming fluent in EFT is like learning ballet—it is an ongoing process and cannot be learned by simply reading a book or watching an expert therapist. This book is designed by seven practicing EFT therapists—who still learn from every couple they see—to help the reader engage in that learning process. It is not designed to stand alone. Over the years, we have found that other modalities such as watching tapes of one’s own sessions and belonging to a supportive peer supervision group are an invaluable part of this process. Everyone who reads this book will likely have their own way of conducting EFT and will bring their own styles and strengths to the model. In the era of brief and briefer therapy, it is tempting to try to reduce interventions to four or five invariant quick fixes and to teach therapists in this way. We believe that you do not have to move to a simplistic level to be efficient and incisive in couple and family therapy. Instead, you must learn to create a safe, collaborative environment, know how to focus on what matters, and help people work with the powerful emotional dramas in which they are caught. There are certain elements of EFT that are very difficult to learn from any printed page. For example, we find that students of EFT learn about key issues of pacing from watching their own videotapes of therapy. Often the difference between an experienced EFT therapist and a novice therapist is not the interventions used, but rather that the more experienced therapists go more slowly, repeat themselves, and circle again and again through the same territory until clients can hold a tangible new emotional reality in their hands. The more experienced therapist knows the emotional process that the couple is engaged in more inti- mately and can slice risks thin, structuring new responses again and again until powerful bonding events emerge. ii iii Preface In light of the above, an explicit structure exists to support those who wish to become registered as EFT couples’ therapists. This structure, which is laid out on the EFT Web site, includes training, supervision, and case review. EFT is now taught in many graduate pro- grams in North America and in many other parts of the world. We hope that those who teach these programs will also find this workbook useful and supportive. You cannot practice EFT without also using it as a lens for your own relationships and as a path into your own attachment issues—we all have them. We hope that this book will help you use this lens in a positive way for your personal and your professional life. Most of all, we hope you find your journey through this book stimulating, powerful, and emotionally engaging. This workbook is divided into three sections. Chapters 1 through 3 present a theoretical overview and summary of interventions. Chapters 4 through 8 describe the treatment process over the nine steps of EFT and include an ongoing case description. Chapters 9 through 11 address special issues, relationship traumas, and family interventions. The last chapter is a detailed case review. SECTION I: THEORETICAL OVERVIEW AND SUMMARY OF INTERVENTIONS 1

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An invaluable tool for clinicians and students, Becoming an Emotionally Focused Therapist: The Workbook takes the reader on an adventure – the quest to become a competent, confident, and passionate couple and family therapist. In an accessible resource for training and supervision, seven expert th
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