be calm. be calm. proven techniques to STOP ANXIETY NOW JILL P. WEBER, PhD peace for all Copyright © 2019 by Althea Press, Emeryville, California No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or trans- mitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, scanning, or otherwise, except as permitted under Sections 107 or 108 of the 1976 United States Copyright Act, without the prior written permission of the Publisher. Requests to the Publisher for permission should be addressed to the Permissions Department, Althea Press, 6005 Shellmound Street, Suite 175, Emeryville, CA 94608. Limit of Liability/Disclaimer of Warranty: The Publisher and the author make no rep- resentations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this work and specifically disclaim all warranties, including without limitation war- ranties of fitness for a particular purpose. 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Interior and Cover Designer: Jamison Spittler Editor: Camille Hayes Production Editor: Erum Khan Author photo © Stacy Vaeth Photography ISBN: Print 978-1-64152-208-3 | eBook 978-1-64152-209-0 v Contents Quick-Start Guide vi Chapter One: Is Anxiety Running Your Life? 1 Section I: Feelings 12 Chapter Two: Your Emotions 17 Chapter Three: Your Body & Physical Sensations 41 Chapter Four: Putting the Tools to Work 65 Section II: Behavior 78 Chapter Five: Avoidance & Escape 83 Chapter Six: Acceptance & Approach 109 Chapter Seven: Putting the Tools to Work 133 Section III: Thoughts 146 Chapter Eight: Thoughts vs. Reality 151 Chapter Nine: Getting Unstuck from Thoughts 179 Chapter Ten: Putting the Tools to Work 205 Section IV: Staying on Track 220 Chapter Eleven: The Road Ahead 223 Chapter Twelve: Building Your Support Network 233 Resources 243 References 245 Index 247 v Quick-Start Guide This book provides a variety of strategies and tech- niques that have proven effective at reducing anxiety and its most troubling symptoms. Any of the strat- egies you choose to practice will help your anxiety overall, but I’ve divided them up here based on which type of symptom they target. This Quick-Start Guide will navigate you straight to the set of strategies that will help you deal with acute symptom flare- ups and anxiety-p roducing situations. Section I: Feelings Turn to the strategies starting on page 20 if you’re feeling strong emotional or physical symptoms of anxiety. • Anger/irritability • Mood swings • Sadness • Racing heart • Hopelessness/ • Shortness of breath despair • Dizziness • Insomnia • Stomach upset vI Section II: Behavior Go to page 87 if your anxiety is making you behave in ways that you don’t like or that are causing you problems. Section II will be helpful when your anxiety causes you to: • Avoid activities you used • Feel unable to do r outine to enjoy things like drive or go to • Avoid certain people the store • Frequently cancel plans • Behave uncharacteristi- cally in anxiety-p rovoking • Call in sick to avoid situations, e.g., you don’t stressful events like approach or talk to your presentations friends when you’re at a party Section III: Thoughts Starting on page 153, you’ll find strategies to help diminish the inaccurate or unhelpful thinking that preoccupies the mind when you’re caught up in anx- iety. These thought- focused strategies will help if you’re experiencing: • Chronic worry • Self- defeating thoughts • Repetitive or racing (e.g., “I suck at this, so thoughts I might as well give up.”) • Catastrophic (worst- • Irrational beliefs (e.g., “If case scenario) thinking I don’t drive back home to check the oven, my house will burn down.”) vI vII Welcome Everyone feels anxious at some point! I have worked with anxious clients for the past 15 years in my practice as a clinical psychologist. Some come to me believing that their anxious feelings can improve. Others enter therapy reluctantly, mostly convinced that nothing will ever reduce their panic symptoms, avoidance behavior, or worried thoughts. People who improve typically have two things in common: 1. A part of them, no matter how small, believes they can get better. 2. They learn, and put to work, effective anxiety- reducing strategies. Simply opening this book and reading this far shows that some part of you believes your anxious symptoms can get better. And if you’re willing to engage with this material and give serious thought to the impact anxiety has on your life, there’s a part of you that wants to get better. Take heart; you already have all you need to start managing your anxiety symptoms and living a happier, more fulfilling life. vIII WELCOME How to Use This Book Psychology is a young science, and there’s still quite a bit we don’t know. However, we do know how to treat anxi- ety. Most people who consistently use the psychological tools in this book will find relief. My clients who use these methods tell me that although they are still aware of their worried thoughts, those thoughts no longer have the same power over them. So instead of feeling as if the waves in the ocean are pulling them under and they have to fight for dear life, they realize they can float—e ven in a stormy sea. They ride out the tempest by using their tools and knowing that the waves will eventually subside and the sea will be calm again. The strategies in this book are simple to implement. They are all evidence based, meaning research has proven their effectiveness. They come from cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT, pronounced like the word act), and mind- fulness practices. It’s not necessary to go through the book from start to finish in order to improve. You likely have not experienced the whole range of possible anxiety symptoms described here, so you may choose to skip some sections, depending on what you’re experiencing. Although this is not a workbook, it is full of practical strategies and instructions for how to implement them. In each of the nine main chapters you’ll see sections titled “Go Deeper,” which are suggestions on how to WELCOME IX