Aspergers in Love: Couple Relationships and Family Affairs PDF
Preview Aspergers in Love: Couple Relationships and Family Affairs
Aspergers in Love of relatedinterest Asperger’s Syndrome AGuideforParentsandProfessionals TonyAttwood ISBN1853025771 An Asperger Marriage GiselaandChrisSlater-Walker ISBN1843100177 Asperger Syndrome and Long-Term Relationships AshleyStanford ISBN1843107341 Living and Loving with Asperger Syndrome FamilyViewpoints Patrick,EstelleandJaredMcCabe ISBN1843107449 Pretending to be Normal LivingwithAsperger’sSyndrome LianeHollidayWilley ISBN1853027499 Asperger Syndrome in the Family RedefiningNormal LianeHollidayWilley ISBN1853028738 Freaks, Geeks and Asperger Syndrome AUserGuidetoAdolescence LukeJackson ISBN1843100983 Aspergers in Love Couple Relationships and Family Affairs Maxine Aston Foreword by Gisela and Chris Slater-Walker Jessica Kingsley Publishers London and New York Allrightsreserved.Nopartofthispublicationmaybereproducedinanymaterialform (includingphotocopyingorstoringitinanymediumbyelectronicmeansandwhether ornottransientlyorincidentallytosomeotheruseofthispublication)withoutthe writtenpermissionofthecopyrightownerexceptinaccordancewiththeprovisionsof theCopyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988orunderthetermsofalicenceissuedby theCopyrightLicensingAgencyLtd,90TottenhamCourtRoad,London,England W1P9HE.Applicationsforthecopyrightowner’swrittenpermissiontoreproduceany partofthispublicationshouldbeaddressedtothepublisher. Warning:Thedoingofanunauthorisedactinrelationtoacopyrightworkmayresult inbothacivilclaimfordamagesandcriminalprosecution. TherightofMaxineAstontobeidentifiedasauthorofthisworkhasbeenassertedby herinaccordancewiththeCopyright,DesignsandPatentsAct1988. FirstpublishedintheUnitedKingdomin2003 byJessicaKingsleyPublishersLtd 116PentonvilleRoad LondonN19JB,England and 29West35thStreet,10thfl. NewYork,NY10001-2299,USA www.jkp.com Copyright©MaxineAston2003 LibraryofCongressCataloginginPublicationData ACIPcatalogrecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheLibraryofCongress BritishLibraryCataloguinginPublicationData ACIPcataloguerecordforthisbookisavailablefromtheBritishLibrary ISBN1843101157 PrintedandBoundinGreatBritainby AthenaeumPress,Gateshead,TyneandWear I see you, and you see me. I experience you, and you experience me. I see your behaviour. You see my behaviour. But I do not and never have and never will see your experience of me. Just as you cannot ‘see’ my experience of you. R.D.Laing ThePoliticsof ExperienceandTheBirdof Paradise(1967) Acknowledgements Ahugethank-youtoallthecouplesandindividualswhotookthetimeto fillinmyquestionnaires,allowedmetointerviewthemandsharedwithme fragmentsoftheirprivatelives.Withoutyouthisbookwouldnothavebeen possible. This book is written for you. ThankyouBrendaWall,KarenRodman,RogerMeyer,LindaNewland, Chris and Gisela Slater-Walker and, of course, Dr Tony Attwood, for the importantrolesyouhaveallplayedinthejourneytoincreaseawarenessand gain support for families affected by Asperger syndrome. John Christopher, a special thank-you for the support and encourage- ment you have given me during the writing of this book and for the time you have spent reading it through and offering me your thoughts. Carol Darmon for proofreading the initial copy of the manuscript. David Jones for his knowledge about army tanks. Dr Mark Forshaw for his inspiring lectures and for offering the quotation that left a lasting impression on me. My Special Mum and family for being proud of me. Mythreechildren,Zoe,ZaraandWilliamforthecupsofteaandwords of encouragement. Contents FOREWORD 9 GiselaandChrisSlater-Walker TERMINOLOGY 11 INTRODUCTION 13 1 Attraction 16 2 Shared Interests 22 3 Trust 26 4 Being Valued 32 5 Understanding 39 6 Self-disclosure 45 7 Communication 53 8 The Asperger Syndrome Side of Communication 58 9 Non-Verbal Communication – The Unspoken Word 67 10 Social Scenes 72 11 Routines, Rules and Boundaries 85 12 The Asperger Syndrome Parent 93 13 The Sexual Side of Asperger Syndrome 106 14 Infidelity 118 15 Sexuality and Asperger Syndrome 126 16 Verbal Abuse and Asperger Syndrome 131 17 Domestic Violence and Asperger Syndrome 136 18 Asperger Syndrome and Awareness 143 19 Diagnosis 153 20 Mental and Physical Health and Asperger Syndrome 160 21 Counselling and Asperger Syndrome 168 22 Women and Asperger Syndrome 175 23 Disadvantages of Asperger Syndrome 182 24 Benefits of Asperger Syndrome 190 CONCLUSION 194 FREQUENTLYASKEDQUESTIONS 199 RESOURCESFORADULTS WITHASPERGERSYNDROMEANDTHEIRFAMILIES 222 REFERENCES 227 INDEX 228
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