Arrow Book of Funny Poems

98 Pages·2016·4.89 MB·English

by  Clymer Eleanor

p\RROW
i
BOOK
k.
OF
Collected by
ELEANOR CLYMER
Digitized by tine Internet Arciiive
2009
in
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ARROW BOOK OF
Finn/
Poems
ELEANOR CLYMER
Collected by
Illustrated by Doug Anderson
SCHOLASTIC BOOK SERVICES
Published by Scholastic Book Services, a division
of Scholastic Magazines, Inc., New York, N. Y.
To
JODY
©
Copyright 1961 by Scholastic Magazines, Inc. All rights
reserved.
The poems in this anthology are covered by separate copy-
right, as shown on pages 95 and 96. All possible care has
been taken to trace the ownership of every selection included
and to make full acknowledgment for its use. If any errors
have accidentally occurred, they will be corrected in subse-
quent editions, provided notification is sent to the publisher.
Permission to reprint these poems in any form, including public
reading, must be obtained JFrom the copyright holders.
5th printing September 1966
Printed in the U.S.A.
CONTENTS
—
Animals Dear and Queer 5
Birds and beasts that never grew
In the jungle, farm or zoo.
Also quite a few that do.
—
Limericks Numerous and Humorous ... 33
A poet who felt discontented
Said, "A new kind of verse I've invented.
Five lines has my song,
Two short and three long,
And I hope I may never repent it."
—
Songs Cheery and Teary 43
Sing a song of army woes,
Or farmers' cows in June.
Want something even daflSer?
Try another tune!
—
People Brainy and Zany 57
Some of these folks you'll never see
Anywhere on land or sea. —
Others are not too far away
In fact, you meet them every day.
—
Rhymes Assorted Thoughts 85
Oft in nonsense
There does lie.
More good sense
Than meets the eye!

DEAR AND QUEER
Grizzly Bear
If you ever, ever, ever meet a grizzly bear.
You must never, never, never ask him where
He is going,
Or what he is doing;
For if you ever, ever, dare
To stop a grizzly bear.
You will never meet another grizzly bear.
{(%A,
———
) )
Eletelephony
Once there was an elephant,
Who
tried to use the telephant
No! no! I mean an elephone
Who tried to use the telephone
(Dear me! I am not certain quite
That even now I've got it right.
Howe'er it was, he got his trunk
Entangled in the telephunk;
The more he tried to get it free,
The louder buzzed the telephee
(I fear I'd better drop the song
Of elephop and telephong!
—
Lauba E. Richards
The codfish lays ten thousand eggs,
The homely hen lays one.
The codfish never cackles
To tell you what she's done.
And so we scorn the codfish,
While the hmnble hen we prize.
Which only goes to show you
That it pays to advertise.
—
Anon.
The Octopus
O
Tell me, Octopus, I begs.
Is those things arms, or is they legs?
I marvel at thee, Octopus;
If I were thou, I'd call me Us.
—
Ogden Nash
Barnyard Cogitations
Behold the duck.
It does not cluck.
A
cluck it lacks.
It quacks.
It is specially fond
Of apuddle orpond.
When
it dines or sups.
It bottoms ups.
Let's think of eggs.
They have no legs.
Chickens come from eggs
But they have legs.
The plot thickens;
Eggs come from chickens.
But have no legs under 'em.
What a conundrimi!
—
Ogden Nash
Habits of the Hippopotamus'
The hippopotamus is strong
And huge of head and broad of bustle;
The hmbs on which he rolls along
Are big with hippopotomuscle.
He does not greatly care for sweets
Like ice cream, apple pie, or custard,
But takes to flavor what he eats
A
little hippopotomustard.
The hippopotamus is true
To all his principles, and just;
He always tries his best to do
The things one hippopotomust.
He never rides in trucks or trams,
In taxicabs or omnibuses.
And so keeps out of traflBc jams
And other hippopotomusses.
—
Arthur Guiterman
6