Around the Weird In 80 Days

210 Pages·2014·0.96 MB·English

by  Rich Smith

Table of Contents
About the Author
By the Same Author
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Introduction
Chapter 1 Cowboys & Indians
Chapter 2 Basquing in the Sun
Chapter 3 Birthday Greetings
Chapter 4 The Olymp-Hick Games
Chapter 5 Cracks at the Tracks
Chapter 6 And the Winner is . . .
Chapter 7 Back on Dry Land
Chapter 8 The Longest Yard
Chapter 9 A Britt Abroad
Chapter 10 Captive Audience
Chapter 11 Going Out with a Bang
Epilogue
Acknowledgements
Rich Smith lives in Portreath on Cornwall's north coast with his girlfriend
Becky and hamster Montgomery. He is currently enjoying time off too much to
get a career. His ambition is to one day read the shipping forecast on Radio 4.
For more information on Rich Smith, see his website at www.rich-smith.net
www.rbooks.co.uk
Also by Rich Smith
You Can Get Arrested for That
AROUND THE WEIRD
IN 80 DAYS
RICH SMITH
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ISBN 9781407036595
Version 1.0
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First published in Great Britain
in 2008 by Bantam Press
an imprint of Transworld Publishers Copyright © Rich Smith 2008
Rich Smith has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act
1988 to be identified as the author of this work.
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ISBN: 9781407036595
Version 1.0
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2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1
To Montgomery Brown,
beloved hamster,
who saw me through every moment
of the writing process
Introduction
As I fell to the ground, following an attack by a Native American who had just
leapt from his horse and pummelled me into the ground before sinking a spear
into my stomach, I knew that this latest trip to the States was to be far from the
standard sightseeing tour experienced by other tourists. At least I had my candy.
With this safely stored away, I was sure that I could keep my trousers on and
leave the battlefield in one piece.
Perhaps I should explain why on earth I was lying in a field in central Montana
after having been killed for the second time in two days. My past experiences in
America are not unconnected.
In 2005 my accomplice Luke Bateman and I travelled 14,000 miles across
America in an attempt to break obscure, outdated and outlandish laws. A
frivolous crime spree, if you will. It was a thoroughly pleasurable experience
and, ever since our arrival back in the UK, I had been yearning for an excuse to
return.
The crime spree was a different type of road trip. In theory, although it was I
who ultimately decided which direction we took, the location of the laws
determined the path our cross-country venture would follow. It dictated where
we would end up and whom we would meet. And I liked that. I enjoy small-
town America, its people, history and peculiarities. They are communities in
which the presence of a couple of Englishmen is something of interest.
In January 2007, I happened to stumble across a video clip on a very well-
known video-sharing website documenting an event in Georgia known as the
'Redneck Games'. Hundreds of people in dungarees yelling and screaming whilst
jumping in pits of mud was enough to get my undivided attention. From then on,
I scoured every festival and events guide on the internet as well as all fifty states'
tourism websites, and with a calendar, map and reams of scrap paper, I began to
make a note of my favourites. I had found my excuse – a trip that would surely
be as amusing as my last and, so far as I could tell, entirely legal.