Apologies - journal-archieves25 - Webs

19 Pages·2012·0.44 MB·English

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NOVEMBER 2012
INTERDISCIPLINARY JOURNAL OF CONTEMPORARY RESEARCH IN BUSINESS VOL 4, NO 7

Apologies: A Powerful Tool for Personal and Organizational Success

Hershey H. Friedman, Ph.D.
Professor of Business and Marketing
Department of Finance and Business Management
Brooklyn College, CUNY

James Lynch, J.D.
Assistant Professor of Law and Business
Department of Finance and Business Management
School of Business
Brooklyn College, CUNY

Linda W. Friedman, Ph.D.
Professor of Statistics & Computer Information Systems
Baruch College Zicklin School of Business and the
Graduate Center of the City University of New York

Abstract
This paper examines what constitutes a good apology and the shortcomings of a bad apology.
The art of making an apology is an important tool for organizational success. Knowing when to
apologize and how to apologize correctly is a skill that should be mastered. The purpose of this
paper is to provide vital information to executives on how to apologize correctly. The paper
includes examples of apologies, some good and some not so good, drawn from real life.
Keywords: Apologies, Remorse, Good Apologies, Bad Apologies, Real World Examples Of
Apologies.
Introduction
The advent of the Internet has given rise to the popularity and influence of social media.
Communication among people now takes the form of Twitter, Facebook and blog posts.
Marketers are discovering that ―word of mouse‖ can be considerably more potent than word of
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mouth. If an organization commits a blunder, its gaffe might go viral and everyone in the world
will know about it. The organization can become the object of criticism and ridicule, making it
necessary to take steps to protect its reputation. The ability to effectively apologize is a crucial
skill in the Internet Age; every executive should know how to use this powerful tool (Friedman,
2006). It is very difficult for an organization to cover up mistakes, and a smart organization
realizes that this is a futile approach which only helps to magnify the original mistake.

For example, President Nixon‘s cover-up of Watergate exacerbated the serious problems
associated with the break in of the Democratic National Committee headquarters. According to
Slansky and Sorkin (2006: 3-4), had Nixon apologized for Watergate, there would have been no
need for him to resign. Unfortunately, Nixon‘s personality, which has been described as
arrogant, narcissistic, and aloof, was such that it was impossible for him to show contrition.
During an interview with David Frost in 1977, Nixon stated: ―If they want me to get down and
grovel on the floor, no. Never.‖ (Slansky and Sorkin, 2006: 4). Ironically, according to Slansky
and Sorkin (2006: 3), the ―Apology Era took root… with the spectacle of Richard Nixon‘s 1952
‗Checkers speech‘.‖ In that speech, named for Checkers, the dog given to Nixon‘s two young
daughters, Vice President Nixon defended himself against a financial slush fund scandal. He
allowed himself to ―wallow in the muck of self-pity‖, however, he did not express any regret or
issue a formal apology in the famous 30-minute speech. The practice of holding people
accountable for their actions, would ultimately result in Nixon‘s removal from the Oval Office.

The ability and willingness to apologize is not only important in commerce and interpersonal
relations, but on the political stage as well. The strained relations between the Armenians and
the Turkish communities continue to exist because the Turkish people have not adequately
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expressed remorse for the genocide that occurred almost 100 years ago. The Tur kish act of
marching the Armenian populace into the Syrian Desert still burns in Armenian souls. Likewise,
Japan‘s neighbors are not convinced that Japan is sincerely remorseful for its violent actions
during World War II. There have been numerous apologies from Japanese officials but they have
been seen as inadequate since full responsibility has not been taken for such horrific crimes as
forcing women from occupied countries such as Korea and China into sexual slavery as ―comfort
women.‖ The Japanese are not using strong enough words to communicate the deep remorse and
shame felt for their horrific behavior during World War II (Tae-Ick, 2010).

Formal apologies can be an admission of guilt which carries the weight of more than just moral
responsibility. There can be legal ramifications when an organization apologizes (Helmreich,
2012; Smith, 2008: 253-258). It should be noted, however, that simply saying ―I‘m sorry‖ does
not necessarily have to be interpreted as a sign of responsibility. After all, people say this upon
hearing of the death of a friend‘s parent and in no way can this be construed as an admission of
guilt. There are situations though where an expression of regret can be taken as an admission of
guilt.
This paper will examine what constitutes a good apology and how people can apologize
effectively and correctly.
Good Apologies
A good apology has to have several elements. Some use the ―Five R‘s as a mnemonic device to
remember what needs to be done. These are: (1) Recognition, (2) Remorse, (3) Repentance, (4)
Restitution, and (5) Reform (or Request for forgiveness).

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Friedman and Friedman (2011) explain the above characteristics:
 Recognition: The individual or organization making the apology must recognize that a
wrong was committed.
 Remorse: The remorse must be sincere, not simply “regret” at being caught. There is a
big difference between remorse and regret. The person or organization should make it
clear that they are ashamed of what they did and will never do it again.
 Repentance: The remorse must be communication to the offended parties – companies
can and should use the media – and an explanation as to why the offense was
committed should be made.
 Restitution: Reparations and / or restitution should be offered.
 Reform: It has to be clear that this will never occur again and that serious reform has
taken place.
The apology, if done correctly, heals all wounds and allows both parties to move ahead and
forget about the past.
According to Weisul (2011), there are nine crucial elements to an effective apology. These are:
1. Everyone has to agree on the facts and what actually happened.
2. The offender must take full responsibility for what happened.
3. The apologizer must say the actions that were taken were wrong.
4. The offender must use a phrase such as “I was wrong.”
5. The offender must express sincere regret.
6. If the victim(s) wants the apology to be made in public or in written
form, the offender should comply.
7. The offender should be willing to offer reparations/monetary
compensation.
8. You can only apologize for things for which you are responsible.
9. The apology has to be genuine.

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Many organizations and people make the mistake of believing that an apology is a sign of
weakness. In actuality, it can be a sign of strength and compassion. It enables the offended
party to restore and rehabilitate a wounded ego and get back to normal. We now realize that
victims of crimes can feel the effects of the occurrence for an entire lifetime. Unfortunately,
there are people who commit suicide when no apology is offered or the apology is inadequate.
For these people, their egos have been totally destroyed.

In other areas, hospitals have found that apologies may reduce the incidence of lawsuits (Cohen,
2000). Many medical schools now teach students to apologize for mistakes rather than try to
cover them up. Hospitals are finding that apologies by doctors result in fewer malpractice
lawsuits than the old approach in which doctors refuse to take responsibility. A number of states
have even passed ―immunity for apology‖ laws that enable physicians to apologize and show
how sorry they are for what happened without having their own words used against them in
litigation.

There are situations where restitution and/or reparations do not make sense. However, in the
corporate setting, restitution/reparations are a good way to show true remorse. For example,
McDonald‘s had falsely claimed that its French fries and hash browns were fried in pure
vegetable oil. It turned out that the company used lard. McDonald‘s did more than apologize to
Hindus and vegetarians about their ersatz vegetarian French fries and hash browns. The
settlement also included a payment of 10 million dollars for charities and educational
organizations connected with Hindus and vegetarians (Friedman, 2006).

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Bad Apologies
As noted above, a good apology can be restorative and mend a broken relationship. There is no
guarantee that the offended party will accept the apology, but a genuine apology has the ability
to heal the wronged party and restore his/her dignity. A bad apology, on the other hand, has the
potential to make things worse.

One reason for a bad apology is that the offender is extremely self-centered and may be unaware
of how his or her action caused another person pain or humiliation (Lazare, 2004: 163-165). The
offender might even be so self-centered that he or she does not know how to show remorse. The
offender may possibly apologize after finding out that the other party no longer likes him. The
apology will not be based on guilt or shame and could come out like: ―I am sorry that you are
upset with me.‖
Some examples of bad apologies:
“I apologize for whatever happened.” This apology is ineffective because the speaker is not
taking full responsibility (Miller 2008). Indeed, the apologizer cannot take full responsibility
and express sincere regret if s/he is so vague about what was done. The offense should be
clearly stated.
“Mistakes were made.” According to Miller (2008), the apologizer should be using an active
voice. The passive voice is being used to shift blame and not take full responsibility.
“If anyone has been hurt by my actions, I am sorry.” This is also a pseudo-apology where the
apologizer is not taking responsibility for his/her actions.

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“To the degree that you were hurt…” Miller (2008) asserts that with this type of a pology, the
apologizer is hinting that the offended party may not have been harmed that much by the offense.
The responsibility has been shifted in a very clever and sneaky way to the victim.
“I am sorry that you feel that way.” McGuire (2008) feels that this type of apology also shifts
the blame to the victim. In effect, the apologizer is hinting that the offended party has
overreacted by feeling insulted.
“The big but.” McGuire (2008) observes that adding the word ―but‖ in an apology has the
effect of undoing the apology. Also, shifting blame to alcohol (―I was drunk‖), genetic
predisposition (―we men have needs…‖), parents (―It is my father‘s fault‖), or addiction (―I am a
sex addict‖) should not be part of a sincere apology. The apologizer has to take full
responsibility and should not give excuses.

If one wishes to apologize correctly, one must not look for excuses. Take full responsibility and
make sure to use words that strengthen the apology rather than weaken them. These include
―very,‖ ―terrible,‖ ―awful,‖ ―horrified,‖ and ―appalled.‖ One should not be afraid to say: ―I feel
terrible about what I have done. It was very wrong and I am appalled and sickened by the pain I
caused you. I am so sorry…‖ For those who need help writing a letter of apology, there are
several websites that provide assistance. One website (http://www.apologyletters.net/), offers 67
apology letter templates for all sorts of apologies such as letters of apology to bosses, girlfriends,
customers, etc. Some may feel that it is a ―cop-out‖ to use pre-written letters of apology but, at
least, these can be used as a guide.

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Real-Life Examples of Good Apologies
One of the best apologies in the corporate world was made by JetBlue‘ founder and CEO, David
Neeleman; it was sincere and from the soul. David Neeleman made a classic apology for flight
cancellation chaos that occurred in 2007. The apology appeared in numerous newspapers as well
as the company website. A video was posted on YouTube in which the CEO apologized to his
customers. Neeleman also used the apology as an opportunity to introduce a JetBlue Airways
Customer Bill of Rights.
Dear JetBlue Customers,

We are sorry and embarrassed. But most of all, we are deeply
sorry.
Last week was the worst operational week in JetBlue‘s seven year
history. Many of you were either stranded, delayed or had flights
cancelled following the severe winter ice storm in the Northeast…

Words cannot express how truly sorry we are for the anxiety,
frustration and inconvenience that you, your family, friends and
colleagues experienced. This is especially saddening because
JetBlue was founded on the promise of bringing humanity back to
air travel, and making the experience of flying happier and easier
for everyone who chooses to fly with us. We know we failed to
deliver on this promise last week …

Note that Mr. Neeleman strengthened his apology by saying ―deeply sorry‖ and ―truly sorry.‖
Goolpacy (2012) says the following about the JetBlue apology:
This JetBlue apology will be remembered for a long time to come
for so many reasons. No excuses, no defensive explanation—just a
straightforward acknowledgement of the pain experienced by
passengers and a very credible promise to fix it.

Another corporate apology that was quite good was offered by Apple. Apple had a huge public
relations nightmare in 2010 when the iPhone 4 was introduced and there was an avalanche of
customer complaints about the poor antenna design (Cooper, 2010). Apple apologized and
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admitted that its phones inflated signal strength and sometimes erroneously displayed full signal
strength on the phone‘s bar graph. The following letter was sent in response to the complaints.
Dear iPhone 4 Users,
The iPhone 4 has been the most successful product launch in
Apple‘s history. It has been judged by reviewers around the world
to be the best smartphone ever, and users have told us that they
love it. So we were surprised when we read reports of reception
problems, and we immediately began investigating them. Here is
what we have learned.
To start with, gripping almost any mobile phone in certain ways
will reduce its reception by 1 or more bars. This is true of iPhone
4, iPhone 3GS, as well as many Droid, Nokia and RIM phones.
But some users have reported that iPhone 4 can drop 4 or 5 bars
when tightly held in a way which covers the black strip in the
lower left corner of the metal band. This is a far bigger drop than
normal, and as a result some have accused the iPhone 4 of having a
faulty antenna design.

At the same time, we continue to read articles and receive
hundreds of emails from users saying that iPhone 4 reception is
better than the iPhone 3GS. They are delighted. This matches our
own experience and testing. What can explain all of this?
We have discovered the cause of this dramatic drop in bars, and it
is both simple and surprising.
Upon investigation, we were stunned to find that the formula we
use to calculate how many bars of signal strength to display is
totally wrong. Our formula, in many instances, mistakenly displays
2 more bars than it should for a given signal strength. For example,
we sometimes display 4 bars when we should be displaying as few
as 2 bars. Users observing a drop of several bars when they grip
their iPhone in a certain way are most likely in an area with very
weak signal strength, but they don‘t know it because we are
erroneously displaying 4 or 5 bars. Their big drop in bars is
because their high bars were never real in the first place.
To fix this, we are adopting AT&T‘s recently recommended
formula for calculating how many bars to display for a given signal
strength. The real signal strength remains the same, but the
iPhone‘s bars will report it far more accurately, providing users a
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much better indication of the reception they will get in a given
area. We are also making bars 1, 2 and 3 a bit taller so they will be
easier to see.
We will issue a free software update within a few weeks that
incorporates the corrected formula. Since this mistake has been
present since the original iPhone, this software update will also be
available for the iPhone 3GS and iPhone 3G.
We have gone back to our labs and retested everything, and the
results are the same— the iPhone 4‘s wireless performance is the
best we have ever shipped. For the vast majority of users who have
not been troubled by this issue, this software update will only make
your bars more accurate. For those who have had concerns, we
apologize for any anxiety we may have caused.
As a reminder, if you are not fully satisfied, you can return your
undamaged iPhone to any Apple Retail Store or the online Apple
Store within 30 days of purchase for a full refund.
We hope you love the iPhone 4 as much as we do.
Thank you for your patience and support.
In another context, Willy Brandt, Chancellor of West Germany, visited Poland in December 7,
1970. He made a surprise visit to a memorial in Warsaw that honored Polish Jews slaughtered
by the Nazis during the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising in 1943. Brandt, in a gesture of guilt, remorse,
and sorrow, silently knelt there in the rain. His sincerity was obvious and the Polish prime
minister hugged him and wept (Tae-ick, 2010). The people of Poland and Germany were moved
by this. In fact, one can find pictures all over the Internet showing Brandt kneeling at the
Warsaw Ghetto memorial as it has become an important symbol.
On December 6, 2000, German Chancellor Gerhard Schröder said the following at a speech
dedicating Willy Brandt Square in Warsaw (Boskovitch, 2010):
This image of Willy Brandt kneeling has become a symbol. A
symbol of accepting the past and of understanding it as an
obligation for reconciliation. As an obligation for a common
future. Like so many Germans and Poles I will never forget this
image. It has come to be a reminder and a political credo for entire
generations.
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