All the Rules

252 Pages·2016·1.08 MB·English

by  Ellen Fein

Author's Note: “We are not licensed to practice psychology, psychiatry or
social work, and The Rules are not intended to replace psychological counseling,
but is simple a daing philosophy based on our own experiences and those of
thousands of women who have contacted us”
If you purchase this book without a cover you should be aware that this book
may have been stolen property and reported as “unsold and destroyed” to the
publisher. In such case neither the author nor the publisher has received any
payment for this “stripped book.”
Copyright © 1995, 1997 by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider All rights reserved.
Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this
publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any
means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written
permission of the publisher.
The Rules I and The Rules II are trademarks of Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider
Portions of chapter 27 in The Rules II first appeared in Ladies’ Home Journal
Cover design by Diane Luger Cover art by Nancy Palubniak Grand Central
Publishing Hachette Book Group
237 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
Visit our Web site at www.HachetteBookGroup.com
Grand Central Publishing is a division of Hachette Book Group, Inc. The Grand
Central Publishing name and logo is a trademark of Hachette Book Group USA,
Inc.
First eBook Edition: January 2007
ISBN: 978-0-446-54993-6
Contents
A RULES SAMPLER
The Rules: Book I
Chapter I: The History of The Rules
Chapter II: What Are The Rules?
Chapter III: Meet a Rules Girl
Chapter IV: But First the Product—You!
Rule #1: Be a “Creature Unlike Any Other”
Rule #2: Don’t Talk to a Man First (and Don’t Ask Him to Dance)
Rule #3: Don’t State at Men or Talk Too Much
Rule #4: Don’t Meet Him Halfway or Go Dutch on a Date
Rule #5: Don’t Call Him and Rarely Return His Calls
Rule #6: Always End Phone Calls First
Rule #7: Don’t Accept a Saturday Night Date after Wednesday
Rule #8: Fill Up Your Time before the Date
Rule #9: How to Act on Dates 1, 2, and 3
Rule #10: How to Act on Dates 4 through Commitment Time
Rule #11: Always End the Date First
Rule #12: Stop Dating Him if He Doesn’t Buy You a Romantic Gift for Your
Birthday or Valentine’s Day
Rule #13: Don’t See Him More than Once or Twice a Week
Rule #14: No More than Casual Kissing on the First Date
Rule #15: Don’t Rush into Sex and Other Rules for Intimacy
Rule #16: Don’t Tell Him What to Do
Rule #17: Let Him Take the Lead
Rule #18: Don’t Expect a Man to Change or Try to Change Him
Rule #19: Don’t Open Up Too Fast
Rule #20: Be Honest but Mysterious
Rule #21: Accentuate the Positive and Other Rules for Personal Ads
Rule #22: Don’t Live with a Man (or Leave Your Things in His Apartment)
Rule #23: Don’t Date a Married Man
Rule #24: Slowly Involve Him in Your Family and Other Rules for Women with
Children
Rule #25: Practice, Practice, Practice! (or, Getting Good at The Rules)
Rule #26: Even if You’re Engaged or Married, You Still Need The Rules
Rule #27: Do The Rules, Even when Your Friends and Parents Think It’s Nuts
Rule #28: Be Smart and Other Rules for Dating in High School
Rule #29: Take Care of Yourself and Other Rules for Dating in College
Rule #30: Next! and Other Rules for Dealing with Rejection
Rule #31: Don’t Discuss The Rules with Your Therapist
Rule #32: Don’t Break The Rules
Rule #33: Do The Rules and You’ll Live Happily Ever After!
Rule #34: Love Only Those Who Love You
Rule #35: Be Easy to Live With
The Rules: Book II
Acknowledgments
Foreword: The Rules Phenomenon
Chapter 1: Why The Rules Work
Chapter 2: Rules for Turning a Friend Into a Boyfriend
Chapter 3: Second Chances—Rules for Getting Back an Ex
Chapter 4: Don’t Waste Time on Fantasy Relationships
Chapter 5: Don’t Stand by His Desk and Other Rules for the Office Romance
Chapter 6: Long-Distance Relationships. Part I: How They Should Start
Chapter 7: Long-Distance Relationships. Part II: Making It Work
Chapter 8: You Can Ask Your Therapist to Help You Do The Rules
Chapter 9: If He Doesn’t Call, He’s Not That Interested. Period!
Chapter 10: 25 Reasons Why Women Want to Call Men But Shouldn’t!
Chapter 11: Show Up Even If You Don’t Feel Like It
Chapter 12: Keep Doing The Rules Even When Things Are Slow
Chapter 13: Don’t Tell the Media About Your Love Life and Other Rules for
Celebrities
Chapter 14: Don’t Be a Groupie and Other Rules for Dating Celebrities or High-
Profile Men
Chapter 15: Observe His Behavior on the Holidays
Chapter 16: Don’t Go Overboard and Other Rules for Giving to Men
Chapter 17: Buyer Beware (Weeding out Mr. Wrong)!
Chapter 18: Closing the Deal (Getting Him to the Alter)
Chapter 19: Don’t Be the Rebound Girl and Other Rules for Dating a Man Who
Is Separated
Chapter 20: A Rules Refresher for Married Women
Chapter 21: Rules for the Bedroom (When You’re Married)
Chapter 22: Starting Over—Rules for the Mature Woman
Chapter 23: Rules for Same-Sex Relationships
Chapter 24: Rules for Personal Ads and Dating Services
Chapter 25: Rules for On-line Dating
Chapter 26: Use a Rules Support Group
Chapter 27: Rules for Girlfriends, Bosses/Coworkers, and Children
Chapter 28: Don’t Worry, Even Men Like The Rules
Chapter 29: Rules Tips for Men
Chapter 30: The Rules Are a Healthy Way of Life
Chapter 31: Answers to Frequently Asked Questions About The Rules
Chapter 32: A Final Bonus— 20 Extra Hints
Chapter 33: Success Stories: Women Who Followed The Rules and Changed
Their Lives!
A RULES SAMPLER
• DON’T MEET HIM HALFWAY OR GO DUTCH ON A DATE.
• DON’T OPEN UP TOO FAST.
• DON’T CALL HIM AND RARELY RETURN HIS CALLS.
• DON’T EXPECT A MAN TO CHANGE OR TRY TO CHANGE HIM.
Sound familiar? You may have heard these rules already…from your
grandmother! The reason she used them, along with generations of women
before her, is that they work! When you follow The Rules you learn how to be a
“creature unlike any other”—confident, radiant, happy. You understand why the
man must make the first move—and why you should never chase him. You stop
waiting anxiously for the phone to ring—because you’re too busy living and
pursuing your goals whether he calls or not. You stop making excuses for him
when he doesn’t call. You don’t accept a weekend date after Wednesday. And
you don’t have sex on the first date. Or the second. Or the third.
For years, the authors of this book have been using and passing The Rules
along to their single friends. For years, the word has spread, with the growing
number of “Rules Girls” supporting each other and going to each other’s
weddings. Now it’s time for you to discover for yourself…
THE RULES™ & THE RULES™ II
RICE AND BOUQUETS FOR THE #1 BESTSELLERS
THE RULES™
“There is a certain kind of woman who is given to long tousled hair, sheer black
panty hose, and acting maddeningly elusive to every man…She is breezy,
confident, and independent, as well as coy, manipulative, and very, very hard to
get. She is a Rules Girl.”
—New York Times
“Waiting around is certainly not what Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider have in
mind. Their message is clear: It’s to the battlefields. Arm yourself and become a
full-time Rules Girl! Practice them! Memorize the book! Make him pursue you
until you catch him! And live life happily ever after. Amen.”
—Detroit News
“A lot of good advice…Friends should read the book together, discuss The
Rules and the reasons for them, and encourage each other to stick to The Rules.
They may laugh at first, but if they follow The Rules, it will take a lot of stress
off themselves, allow them to be happier in their lives, and pave the way for a
lasting relationship with a man who does the pursuing—and feels rewarded
when he catches the woman he adores.”
—Baton Rouge Sunday Advocate
“If you’re a single woman trying to keep your own life from becoming a soap
opera, then THE RULES has something to tell you.”
—New Jersey Monthly
“Lighthearted yet earnest…Even if you’re engaged or married, you still need
these guidelines.”
—Jerusalem Post Literary Supplement
TM
THE RULES II
“If you play the dating game, then you’ll want THE RULES II…the follow-up
book to the original dating bible.”
—American Woman
“You caught him, now use THE RULES II to get him to say ‘I do’…We’re not
talking about a business deal here, but getting the man you want to propose and
then to turn that proposal into an actual wedding date—it’s a feat some women
would say can be tougher then any corporate transaction. Of course, it’s made
much easier by doing The Rules.”
—Complete Woman
“The Rules are just for dating, right? Wrong. In their new book, THE RULES II,
Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider address the questions their readers have posed
—including…tips on how to make any marriage better, happier, stronger.”
—Bridal Guide
“Empowering…The Rules books can give you control over your dating life.”
—Mademoiselle
“Drumroll, please, for single-and-searching females! More help is here in THE
RULES II, the sequel to THE RULES, the runaway New York Times bestseller.”
—San Antonio Express-News
ALSO BY THE AUTHORS
The Rules Dating Journal
The Rules for Marriage