A phenomenological exploration into the lived experience of childfree women aged 45-55

174 Pages·2015·1.94 MB·English

by  Josephine Davies

Middlesex University Research Repository
An open access repository of
Middlesex University research
http://eprints.mdx.ac.uk
Davies, Josephine (2015) A phenomenological exploration into the lived experience of childfree
women aged 45-55. Other thesis, Middlesex University.
Final accepted version (with author’s formatting)
This version is available at: http://eprints.mdx.ac.uk/18503/
Copyright:
MiddlesexUniversityResearchRepositorymakestheUniversity’sresearchavailableelectronically.
Copyright and moral rights to this work are retained by the author and/or other copyright owners
unlessotherwisestated. Theworkissuppliedontheunderstandingthatanyuseforcommercialgain
is strictly forbidden. A copy may be downloaded for personal, non-commercial, research or study
without prior permission and without charge.
Works, including theses and research projects, may not be reproduced in any format or medium, or
extensive quotations taken from them, or their content changed in any way, without first obtaining
permissioninwritingfromthecopyrightholder(s). Theymaynotbesoldorexploitedcommerciallyin
any format or medium without the prior written permission of the copyright holder(s).
Full bibliographic details must be given when referring to, or quoting from full items including the
author’s name, the title of the work, publication details where relevant (place, publisher, date), pag-
ination, and for theses or dissertations the awarding institution, the degree type awarded, and the
date of the award.
If you believe that any material held in the repository infringes copyright law, please contact the
Repository Team at Middlesex University via the following email address:
[email protected]
The item will be removed from the repository while any claim is being investigated.
See also repository copyright: re-use policy: http://eprints.mdx.ac.uk/policies.html#copy
A phenomenological exploration

into the lived experience of childfree
women aged 45-55

Submitted to the New School of Psychotherapy and Counselling and Middlesex
University Psychology Department in partial fulfilment of the requirements for the
Degree of Doctorate in Existential Psychotherapy and Counselling
Josephine Davies

August 2014, London, UK

Life is a sum of all your choices
~ Camus
Acknowledgements
Firstly I would like to thank my supervisors Dr Chloe Paidoussis-Mitchell and Dr Patricia Bonnici for
their invaluable support, advice, and erudition throughout my research journey, and also
Professor Emmy van Deurzen for inspiration.

This dissertation would not have been possible without the time and openness given to me by my
participants so I wish to express my gratitude to them for sharing their stories with me. This of
course includes the three women I spoke to whom I decided not to include in this thesis, but
whose experiences are of equal value.

Thanks also go to my own mother whose wisdom and support continues to be a source of great
comfort. And to my partner Robbie for so many things; academic insights, oft-needed comedy,
daily encouragement, and truly excellent culinary skills made the struggle to earn a doctorate
much easier.

Lastly I would like to express my love and thanks to my beautiful friends Becky and Sophie for
being ever present in the midst of their own full lives, and always on-hand with commiserating
cocktails and cake.

1
Abstract
One fifth of women in Britain reach the age of 45 without having children, yet psychological and
developmental theories often begin with the assumption that all women become mothers. The
aim of this study is to explore how the decade between 45 and 55 is experienced by women who
have chosen non-motherhood. Ten voluntarily childfree women participated in semi-structured
interviews, and the data produced were analysed using interpretative phenomenological analysis
(IPA). Results indicate that the childfree choice is influenced by a gravitation towards meaningful
areas of life other than motherhood, as well as a rejection of its perceived drawbacks. For these
participants the decision to be childfree is mainly felt to be finalized within the 30s such that the
biological end of fertility is not experienced as an ending of choice. The present decade is one of
gladness about being childfree and appreciation of the freedom it affords, though there is some
curiosity and wistfulness regarding what has not been chosen. For the majority of the
participants the childfree choice is accepted by others, but there were also some experiences of
stigma. Management of this is primarily through the creation of diverse social circles in which
childfreedom is more the ‘norm’. Friendships are also viewed as important sources of support for
a childfree future, which is itself perceived with some anxiety regarding old-age care.
Recommendations are made for the professions of psychotherapy and counselling which include
the ability to openly explore oscillating desires and ambivalence without believing in a ‘right’
choice, normalizing childfreedom, and helping clients to navigate the social world and plan ahead.
It is suggested that further research into this topic and into the male experience of being childfree
is needed.

Keywords
Childfreedom, women, choice, pronatalism, Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis, existential
psychotherapy, age group 45-55

2
Statement of Authorship
This dissertation is written by Josephine Davies and has ethical clearance from the New School of
Psychotherapy and Counselling and the Psychology Department of Middlesex University. It is
submitted in partial fulfilment of the requirements of the New School of Psychotherapy and
Counselling and the Psychology Department of Middlesex University for the Degree of Doctor of
Existential Psychotherapy. The author reports no conflicts of interest, and is alone responsible for
the content and writing of the dissertation.

3
Anonymisation and Transcript Notation

The verbatim transcripts in this dissertation were edited to ensure the participants’ anonymity
and confidentiality.
{ } words omitted to preserve confidentiality
(pause) added non-verbal information
… link between two parts of a transcript
Ch- word begun but not finished

Word Count: 58, 204
4
Table of Contents
Acknowledgements ............................................................................................................................ 1
Abstract .............................................................................................................................................. 2
Statement of Authorship .................................................................................................................... 3
Anonymisation and Transcript Notation ............................................................................................ 4
Terminology ....................................................................................................................................... 9
Chapter 1 Introduction.................................................................................................................. 10
Chapter 2 Literature Review ......................................................................................................... 12
2.1 Psychoanalytic Perspectives ....................................................................................................... 12
2.1.1 Object Relations Theory ...................................................................................................... 16
2.1.2 Jung ..................................................................................................................................... 16
2.1.3 Erikson ................................................................................................................................. 17
2.2 Feminist Psychoanalysis ............................................................................................................. 18
2.3 Maternal and Nurturing Instinct ................................................................................................ 20
2.4 Sociological and Psychological Theory ....................................................................................... 22
2.4.1 Identity and Femininity of Childfree Women ...................................................................... 26
2.4.2 Perception of Childfree Women ......................................................................................... 28
2.5 Social Constructionist Theory ..................................................................................................... 30
2.5.1 Menopause ......................................................................................................................... 31
2.6 Existential Perspectives .............................................................................................................. 33
2.6.1 Being-in-the-world .............................................................................................................. 33
2.6.2 Authenticity ......................................................................................................................... 34
2.6.3 Anxiety ................................................................................................................................. 35
Conclusion ........................................................................................................................................ 36
Chapter 3 Methodology and Method .......................................................................................... 37
3.1 Methodology .............................................................................................................................. 37
3.1.1 Why Qualitative? ................................................................................................................. 37
3.1.2 Why Phenomenology? ........................................................................................................ 38
3.1.3 Why Hermeneutic Phenomenology? .................................................................................. 39
3.1.4 Why Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA)? ...................................................... 40
3.1.5 Alternative Methods ........................................................................................................... 41
3.1.6 Validity ................................................................................................................................. 42
5
3.1.7 Limitations and critiques of IPA .......................................................................................... 44
3.2 Method ....................................................................................................................................... 45
3.2.1 Ethical Approval .................................................................................................................. 45
3.2.2 Participation Criteria ........................................................................................................... 45
3.2.3 Recruitment of Participants ................................................................................................ 46
3.2.4 Data Collection .................................................................................................................... 47
3.3 The Research .............................................................................................................................. 47
3.3.1 The Pilot study ..................................................................................................................... 47
3.3.2 The Participants ................................................................................................................... 49
3.3.3 Demographic Data............................................................................................................... 49
3.3.4 Ethical Considerations ......................................................................................................... 52
3.3.5 Data Collection - The interviews ......................................................................................... 53
3.3.6 Reflexivity ............................................................................................................................ 54
3.3.7 Data Analysis and Writing up .............................................................................................. 55
Chapter 4 The Findings ............................................................................................................. 58
4.1 The experience of childfreedom aged 45-55 ............................................................................. 58
4.1.1 Current Feelings .................................................................................................................. 58
4.1.2 No Regret ............................................................................................................................ 59
4.1.3 What is Missed .................................................................................................................... 60
4.1.4 Presence of Children in Life ................................................................................................. 61
4.1.5 Self-concept ......................................................................................................................... 62
4.2. The experience of choosing childfreedom ................................................................................ 64
4.2.1 How Choice is Felt ............................................................................................................... 64
4.2.2 No Urge for Children ........................................................................................................... 66
4.2.3 Desire for Other Pursuits ..................................................................................................... 67
4.2.4 Choice and Relationships .................................................................................................... 68
4.2.5 Feelings about Pregnancy ................................................................................................... 70
4.2.6 Other Motivations ............................................................................................................... 71
4.3. The Social World........................................................................................................................ 73
4.3.1 The Childfree Norm ............................................................................................................. 73
4.3.2 Negative Experiences .......................................................................................................... 74
4.3.3 Cultural Assumptions .......................................................................................................... 76
4.4. Experience of the End of Fertility .............................................................................................. 77
4.4.1 End of Fertility ..................................................................................................................... 77
6
4.4.2 Menopause ......................................................................................................................... 78
4.5. The Future ................................................................................................................................. 79
4.5.1 Perception of the Future ..................................................................................................... 79
4.5.2 Guarantee of Care ............................................................................................................... 80
4.5.3 Planning Ahead ................................................................................................................... 81
4.5.4 Legacy .................................................................................................................................. 81
Chapter 5 Discussion ................................................................................................................. 85
5.1 The experience of childfreedom aged 45-55 ............................................................................. 85
5.1.1 Current feelings ................................................................................................................... 85
5.1.2 The Search for Meaning ...................................................................................................... 86
5.1.3 Relationships with Children ................................................................................................ 87
5.1.4 The Childfree Identity .......................................................................................................... 88
5.2 Childfreedom through Time ....................................................................................................... 90
5.2.1 Changing Desires ................................................................................................................. 90
5.2.2 The Present ......................................................................................................................... 92
5.2.3 Alex’s Case ........................................................................................................................... 94
5.2.4 The Future ........................................................................................................................... 94
5.3 Choice ......................................................................................................................................... 96
5.3.1 Personal Dimension............................................................................................................. 96
5.3.2 Physical Dimension .............................................................................................................. 99
5.3.3 Social Dimension ............................................................................................................... 101
5.3.4 Spiritual Dimension ........................................................................................................... 102
5.4 The Social World....................................................................................................................... 103
5.4.1 The Childfree Norm ........................................................................................................... 103
5.4.2 Negative Experiences ........................................................................................................ 104
Chapter 6 Concluding Remarks ................................................................................................... 107
6.1 Summary .................................................................................................................................. 107
6.2 Clinical Implications .................................................................................................................. 109
6.3 Significance of the study .......................................................................................................... 111
6.4 Critical Reflections .................................................................................................................... 112
6.4.1 Strengths and Limitations ................................................................................................. 112
6.4.2 A further look at reflexivity ............................................................................................... 114
6.4.3 Validity and Quality ........................................................................................................... 116
6.5 Recommendations for future research .................................................................................... 117
7
References ...................................................................................................................................... 118
Appendix A Ethics Protocols ..................................................................................................... 130
Appendix B Participant Information Letter ............................................................................... 139
Appendix C Participant Consent Form ...................................................................................... 141
Appendix D Participant Debriefing Letter ................................................................................. 142
Appendix E Question Schedule................................................................................................. 143
Appendix F Demographic Questionnaire ................................................................................. 144
Appendix G Example Analysis ................................................................................................... 145
Appendix H Master Table of Emergent Themes ....................................................................... 147
Appendix I Transcript of Interview with Jane .......................................................................... 161

Figure 1: Self and Society: Authenticity and Conformity ...................................................................... 35
Figure 2: Childfree women’s relationships with children ..................................................................... 88
Figure 3: Childfreedom in Time ............................................................................................................. 92
Figure 4: Choice within the interconnected four-dimensional world ................................................... 96
Figure 5: The Ways in Which Choice is Experienced ............................................................................. 98
Figure 6: The Physical Dimension of Childfreedom or Motherhood .................................................... 99
Figure 7: Simplistic View of Binary Paths for Women ......................................................................... 102
Figure 8: Women's ‘Project’ towards Meaning and Fulfilment .......................................................... 103

Table 1: Demographic data ................................................................................................................... 51
Table 2: Superordinate Themes and Sub-themes ................................................................................. 58

8