A Life-Cycle Approach to Treating Couples: From Dating to Death PDF
Preview A Life-Cycle Approach to Treating Couples: From Dating to Death
EBOOKS A Life-Cycle Approach to F IS H FOR THE Treating Couples E PSYCHOLOGY COLLECTION L HEALTH Anthony Chambers and Corinne Datchi, Editors LIBRARY From Dating to Death Anne K. Fishel Create your own Many therapists believe couple therapy is the most difficult—more Customized Content than individual or family therapy. Dr Fishel will change your mind about Bundle—the more this! In clear language, she makes simple the complex relationships of books you buy, couples without robbing them of their texture or quality. This book is for the greater your A Life-Cycle all professionals who want to understand how to strengthen the bond discount! between intimate partners. —Susan McDaniel, PhD. 2016 President of the American THE CONTENT Approach to Psychological Association • Nutrition and In this exceptional book, Fishel draws on her years of experience and Dietetics Practice accumulated wisdom to produce an informative, reassuring, and practical Treating Couples • Psychology A reference that should be on the desk of every couple’s therapist. L • Health, Wellness, if —Martha B. Straus, PhD, author, Treating Trauma in Adolescents: e and Exercise -C Development, Attachment, and the Therapeutic Relationship y Science cle From Dating to Death • Health Education A A Life-cycle Approach to Treating Couples draws on 30 years of clinical p p work and a rich body of research about life-cycle theory to offer couple r o THE TERMS therapists a guide to helping couples traverse six developmental ac h • Perpetual access for stages—dating and commitment; transition to parenthood; midlife t o a one time fee couples; launching and retiring couples; late-life couples; and relation- T r e • No subscriptions or ship endings. For each stage, the author offers clinical vignettes as well a t access fees as questions and strategies for the clinician to pursue. In this clear and in g • Unlimited authoritative book, Fishel provides examples and research about clients C o concurrent usage who are diverse in their marital status, sexual orientation, race, ethnicity, up • Downloadable PDFs SES, and health. les • Free MARC records Anne K. Fishel, PhD is an associate clinical professor of psychology at For further information, the Harvard Medical School and the director of the family and couple a free trial, or to order, therapy program at Massachusetts General Hospital, where she trains contact: child and adult psychiatry residents and psychology interns in family [email protected] and couple therapy. She is the author of two previous books: Home for Dinner: Mixing Food, Fun, and Conversation for a Happier Family and Anne K. Fishel Healthier Kids (2015) and Treating the Adolescent in Family Therapy: A Developmental and Narrative Approach (1999). ISBN: 978-1-94664-614-9 A Life-Cycle Approach to Treating Couples A Life-Cycle Approach to Treating Couples From Dating to Death Anne K. Fishel MOMENTUM PRESS, LLC, NEW YORK A Life-Cycle Approach to Treating Couples: From Dating to Death Copyright © Momentum Press, LLC, 2018. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other except for brief quotations, not to exceed 400 words, without the prior permission of the publisher. First published in 2018 by Momentum Press, LLC 222 East 46th Street, New York, NY 10017 www.momentumpress.net ISBN-13: 978-1-94664-614-9 (paperback) ISBN-13: 978-1-94664-615-6 (e-book) Momentum Press Psychology C ollection Cover and interior design by Exeter Premedia Services Private Ltd., Chennai, India First edition: 2018 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Printed in the United States of America. Abstract Every couple can be located on a developmental time line, from first dates to final good-byes, and compared to the millions of other couples who have faced similar developmental challenges. Clinical knowledge about life-cycle stages serves as a reference point for the couple therapist, much as diagnoses do for the individual therapist. Based on 30 years of couple therapy experience, Dr. Fishel, a Harvard Medical School professor, offers a practical guide for therapists at any stage of their own professional development. The author includes case examples and research findings about clients diverse not only in sexual orientation, but also age, race, ethnicity, class, and health. The book focuses on the six major life-cycle changes that couples typically traverse, from dating to death. • Stage one is about dating, partner selection, and the decision to make a long-term commitment. • Stage two focuses on the couple’s transformation during the transition to parenthood. • Stage three is about midlife couples when there are increased work and parenting demands as well as care-giving of aging parents. • Stage four is about late midlife couples who may be launching children, heading for retirement, and becoming grandparents. • Stage five focuses on late-life couples, facing issues of aging, mutual dependency, and generational role changes. • Stage six is about death as an endpoint to marriage, with a focus on illness, legacy, and saying good-bye. For each stage, the author shares scientific research, common presen- tations and rich case examples, followed by developmentally-informed questions and topics for couple therapists to pursue. Keywords cohabitation, conflict, couple therapy, couples at end of life, couples in later life, couples at midlife, death, divorce, empty nest, family of o rigin, vi ABStrACt gay couples, gender differences, grandparents, illness, late midlife cou- ples, launching children, lesbian couples, LGBTQ couples, life-cycle transitions, life-cycle, loss, marriage, midlife couples, parenting, post- retirement, retirement, same-sex couples, sexual functioning, sexual intimacy, sexuality, stages of development, transition to parenthood Advance Praise for A Life-Cycle Approach to Treating Couples A seamless integration of elegant theory with in-the-office pragmatism, Dr. Fishel’s graceful prose accomplishes the impossible task of making a text all things to all practitioners. Her comprehensive synthesis of the field’s evidence into developmental stages, combined with a diligent anticipation of diversity among individuals and circumstances main- tain the high utility that has defined all of Dr. Fishel’s writings. The work is a most convenient framework for inquiry and intervention, giv- ing as much attention to the when of relationships as to the who that comprise them. —David Rubin, MD, Director, Massachusetts General Hospital Psychiatry Academy; Director of MGH Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Residency Program In her beautifully written portrait of the life cycle of couples, Anne Fishel has woven together research, memorable examples from her clinical practice and helpful suggestions for practitioners into a truly helpful guide. I was particularly impressed by her ability to approach couples in an accepting, nonpathologizing way. Any family therapist who reads this book will find him or herself better equipped to meet and help couples of any age on their marital journey. —Michael Thompson, PhD, co-author of Raising Cain Anne Fishel has provided us with a rich, comprehensive, and evocative look at therapy for couples at different stages of the life cycle. She uses what is known from research and from vivid vignettes to provide help- ful questions for therapists to pose to partners at each stage of life that viii ADVANCE PrAISE will enrich their conversations and connections with one another. This volume will be invaluable for psychologists, psychiatrists, social w orkers, and those who train professional therapists to work with couples. I d aresay it would also be eye-opening and helpful to couples themselves, who will surely find themselves in many of its rich examples. —Carolyn Pape Cowan, PhD, Adjunct Professor of Psychology Emerita, University of California, Berkeley; Coauthor of When Partners Become Parents: The Big Life Change for Couples In this exceptional book, Fishel draws on her years of experience and accumulated wisdom to produce an informative, reassuring, and practical reference that should be on the desk of every couple therapist. Organized logically and sequentially within a normalizing developmental frame- work, each of the carefully crafted chapters provides useful contextual information, vivid case examples, clinical strategies, some great questions to ask in session, and additional resources for understanding and inter- vening with distressed couples. This sensitive and timely text includes information for treatment with clients diverse not only in sexual identity, but also age, race, ethnicity, SES, health, and physical ability. Psychother- apists of all persuasions and all degrees of experience will find this a fasci- nating and welcome addition to the literature on working with couples. —Martha B. Straus, PhD, Professor of Clinical Psychology, Antioch University New England, and author of Treating Trauma in Adolescents: Development, Attachment, and the Therapeutic Relationship With this book, Anne Fishel has contributed a major advance to our understanding of couples and the practice of couple therapy. Her life- cycle perspective places the clinical at the center of the couple’s world, and her many compelling case examples and relevant questions offer prag- matic help for navigating the challenging terrain of couples therapy. This is a book that complements the work of all couples therapists regardless of their preferred models. —Douglas C. Breunlin Program Director, Master of Science in Marriage and Family Therapy Clinical Professor, Department of Psychology, Northwestern University Contents Acknowledgments �����������������������������������������������������������������������������������xi Chapter 1 Applying the Life-cycle Perspective to Couple Therapy ............................................................................1 Chapter 2 Transition to Being a Couple: Dating, Partner Selection, and Making a Long-Term Commitment .........17 Chapter 3 Transition to Parenthood: Expanding the Dyad ..............39 Chapter 4 Midlife Couples: Increasing Demands of Work, Parenting, and Care-giving .............................................57 Chapter 5 Late Midlife Couples: Launching Children, Heading for Retirement, Becoming Grandparents ..........73 Chapter 6 Post-Retirement and Late-Life Couples: Aging, Dependency, and Role Changes ......................................89 Chapter 7 Illness and Death ..........................................................103 References ...........................................................................................119 About the Author ................................................................................137 Index �������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������139
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