50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays.

241 Pages·2009·6.55 MB·English

Critical Acclaim for Books by Gen and Kelly Tanabe
Authors of Get into Any College, Get Free Cash for College
and 1001 Ways to Pay for College
“Upbeat, well-organized, and engaging, this comprehensive tool is an
exceptional investment for the college-bound.”
—Publishers Weekly
“Helps college applicants write better essays.”
—The Daily NeWs
“Invaluable information.”
—leoNarD baNks, The JourNal Press
“A present for anxious parents.”
—Mary kaye riTz, The hoNolulu aDverTiser
“Helpful, well-organized guide, with copies of actual letters and es-
says and practical tips. A good resource for all students.”
—kliaTT
“When you consider the costs of a four-year college or university edu-
cation nowadays, think about forking out (the price) for this little
gem written and produced by two who know.”
—DoN DeNevi, Palo alTo Daily NeWs
“What’s even better than all the top-notch tips is that the book is writ-
ten in a cool, conversational way.”
—College bouND MagaziNe
“Offers advice on writing a good entrance essay, taking exams and ap-
plying for scholarships, and other information on the college experi-
ence—start to finish.”
—ToWN & CouNTry MagaziNe
“I recently applied to Cornell University. I read your book from cover
to back, wrote an essay about ‘Snorkeling in Okinawa’ (which most
people criticized), and got ACCEPTED to Cornell. Thank you very
much for your help, and I’ll be sure to refer this book to anyone ap-
plying to college.”
—JasoN CleMMey
“If you’re struggling with your essays, the Tanabes offer some
encouragement.”
—College bouND MagaziNe
“A ‘must’ for any prospective college student.”
—MiDWesT book revieW
“The Tanabes literally wrote the book on the topic.”
—bull & bear FiNaNCial rePorT
“Filled with student-tested strategies.”
—PaM CosTa, saNTa Clara visioN
“Actually shows you how to get into college.”
—NeW Jersey sPeCTaTor leaDer
“Upbeat tone and clear, practical advice.”
—book NeWs
50 Successful
IVY LEAGUE
Application
Essays
Includes advice from college admissions
officers and the 25 essay mistakes
that guarantee failure
GEN and KELLY TANABE
HArvArD grADUATES AnD AUTHOrS OF
Get into Any College, The Ultimate Scholarship Book and
Accepted! 50 Successful College Admission Essays
50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays
By gen and Kelly Tanabe
Published by SuperCollege, LLC
3286 Oak Court
Belmont, CA 94002
www.supercollege.com
Copyright © 2009 by SuperCollege, LLC
All rights reserved. no part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or
transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, record-
ing or otherwise, without the written permission of SuperCollege. This book is protected
under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions.
Credits: Cover: TLC graphics, www.TLCgraphics.com. Design: Monica Thomas
Layout: The roberts group, www.editorialservice.com
Trademarks: All brand names, product names and services used in this book are trade-
marks, registered trademarks or tradenames of their respective holders. SuperCollege is not
associated with any college, university, product or vendor.
Disclaimers: The authors and publisher have used their best efforts in preparing this book.
It is sold with the understanding that the authors and publisher are not rendering legal or
other professional advice. The authors and publisher cannot be held responsible for any
loss incurred as a result of specific decisions made by the reader. The authors and publisher
make no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the
contents of the book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties or merchantability or
fitness for a particular purpose. The accuracy and completeness of the information provid-
ed herein and the opinions stated herein are not guaranteed or warranted to produce any
particular results. The authors and publisher specifically disclaim any responsibility for any
liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, which is incurred as a consequence, directly or
indirectly, from the use and application of any of the contents of this book.
ISBn13: 9781932662405
Manufactured in the United States of America
10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Tanabe, gen S.
50 successful Ivy League application essays / gen and Kelly Tanabe.
p. cm.
ISBn 978-1-932662-40-5 (alk. paper)
1. College applications--United States. 2. Private universities and colleges--United States-
-Admission. I. Tanabe, Kelly Y. II. Title. III. Title: Fifty successful Ivy League application
essays.
LB2351.52.U6T36 2009
378.1’616--dc22
2009026129
Table of ConTenTs
Chapter 1: 25 Essay Mistakes that Guarantee Failure 1
Chapter 2: Ivy League Admissions Officer Q&A 13
Chapter 3: Academic Passion 21
“Bacon” by Mariam nassiri 21
“Beyond Plug-and-Chug Math” by Anonymous 24
“A Different Kind of Love” by Oana Emilia Butnareanu 26
“From Flaubert to Frisbee” by Aditya Kumar 29
“raising the Bar” by Anonymous 32
Chapter 4: Books/Literature 35
“rosencrantz and guildenstern” by Fareez giga 35
Chapter 5: Career 39
“Puzzles” by Anonymous 39
“Addressing Injustices” by Mathew griffin 42
“My Unpopular Decision” by Shiv M. gaglani 44
“Healing Beyond Borders” by Mathew griffin 46
“Scientific Sparks” by Ariela Koehler 48
“researching Cancer” by Anonymous 50
Chapter 6: Entrepreneurship 53
“The Computer Doctor” by Mathew griffin 53
Chapter 7: Challenges 57
“Unshakable Worth” by Sarah Langberg 57
“no Longer Invisible” by Angelica 60
“Power of People” by Suzanne Arrington 63
“Self Mind” by Timothy nguyen Le 66
“A Summer of Stem Cells” by Ariela Koehler 69
“All Worth It” by Anonymous 72
Chapter 8: Community Service 75
“Music from the Heart” by Anonymous 75
“Precious Planet” by Pen-Yuan Hsing 77
“Cuddle Buddies” by Anastasia Fullerton 80
“Best reader” by Manika 82
Chapter 9: Family 87
“Box of Chocolates” by Alex volodarsky 87
“Dear Santa” by Anonymous 91
“Lessons from the Immigration Spectrum” by Anonymous 93
Chapter 10: Heritage and Identity 97
“Heritage” by Anonymous 97
“Abuelo” by Angelica 100
“Anything goes” by Jean gan 102
“Strength from Family Struggles” by Anonymous 104
v
vi 50 Successful Ivy League Application Essays
Chapter 11: Humor 109
“Exit Door” by Fareez giga 109
“Crime Scene report” by Lauren Sanders 111
Chapter 12: An Influential Person 115
“John nash” by Jonathan Cross 115
“Then and now: How the Perseverance of a Working, Single Mother
Molded the Persona of her Chinese-American Daughter” by Lisa Kapp 118
Chapter 13: Issues 123
“Sustainable Development in South Africa” by Steve Schwartz 123
“A Young voice for Seniors” by Ariela Koehler 126
Chapter 14: Leadership 129
“Birthing a Business” by Jason Y. Shah 129
“Beyond Dictionary Definitions of Leadership” by victoria Tomaka 132
Chapter 15: Personal Growth 137
“Beauty” by Anonymous 137
“Keeping up with the Beat of the Drum” by Shreyans C. Parekh 140
“Hurricane Transformations” by Jason Y. Shah 142
“The House on Wellington Avenue” by Jackie Liao 145
Chapter 16: Talent 149
“A Dramatic Coup” by Fareez giga 149
“Music as My Second Language” by Jean gan 150
“My Bedroom” by Fareez giga 153
“A Special Performance” by Anonymous 155
Chapter 17: Travel 157
“Extra Page” by Lauren Horton 157
“Looking Beyond the Castle” by Brian Aguado 160
Chapter 18: Vignette 163
“Polar Bears” by Lauren Horton 163
“Moving” by Laura v. Mesa 165
Chapter 19: Why Our College 169
“Exploring Life’s Intricacies” by Mathew griffin 169
“Leveraging Potential” by Cameron McConkey 171
“Inspiration from an Energy Conversion Machine” by Anonymous 174
Chapter 20: Wait List Letter 177
“Wait List Supplement” by Pen-Yuan Hsing 177
Chapter 21: Advice on Topics from Ivy League Students 181
Chapter 22: Advice on Writing from Ivy League Students 199
Chapter 23: What I Learned from Writing the Essay 215
About the Authors 230
DeDiCaTion
T —
o our reaDers
!
We hoPe you aChieve your DreaM

aCknowleDgmenTs
ThIS BooK woULd NoT hAVE BEEN possible without the gener-
ous contributions of the Ivy League students who agreed to share their
admission essays and advice in order to help others who hope to follow
in their footsteps.
We would also like to thank the admissions officers for spending
the time to impart some of their knowledge to our readers: Dr. Michele
Hernandez, former assistant director of admissions at Dartmouth
College and Eva Ostrum, former assistant director of undergraduate
admissions at Yale University.
We would like to express our appreciation to Chenxing Han for as-
sisting with the analysis of the students’ essays.
Special thanks to the counselors: Mary Pinedo, Whitney High School,
Cerritos, CA; renee Brown, Brooklyn Technical High School, Brooklyn,
nY; Tricia Bryan, John Marshall High School, Los Angeles, CA; Yamila
Dielacher, El Camino High School, South San Francisco, CA; Stephanie
gabbard, Champion High School, Warren, OH; Linda Kimmel, Irvington
High School, Fremont, CA; Lynda Mcgee, Downtown Magnets High
School, Los Angeles, CA; Ann Meyer, Highlands High School, Fort
Thomas, KY; Mary O’reilly, Josephinum Academy, Chicago, IL; Lois
rossi, Uniontown Area High School, Uniontown, PA; Chris Ward, Lake
Park High School, roselle, IL; Carla Zielinski, Perkiomen valley High
School, Collegeville, PA and Carnegie vanguard High School.