121 First Dates: How to Succeed at Online Dating, Fall in Love, and Live Happily Ever After (Really!)

242 Pages·2016·1.88 MB·English

by  Wendy Newman

Praise for Wendy Newman’s
“Ever feel like you’re royally screwed when it comes to dating? Like you’re more likely to be kidnapped by
terrorists than find Mr. Right? This is your book. Wendy is like your awesomest girlfriend, only she actually
gives good dating advice. She’ll make you laugh with her whip smart remarks, cheer you up, cheer you on,
and encourage you every step of the way.”
—Linda Sivertsen , bestselling author and creator of The Boyfriend Log iPhone dating app
“With a warm, experienced, ‘been-there, done-that’ tone, Wendy Newman not only chronicles the many
challenges for women navigating the modern dating world, but she also reframes them in such a manner
that will make even the most jaded dater breathe a sigh of relief. While most self-help books tell you what
you want to hear, Newman tells you what you need to hear with such compassion that you’ll probably want
to email her in six months to tell her that you listened to her advice and finally found love.”
—Evan Marc Katz , dating coach and author
“Wendy Newman takes the mystery, the game playing, and strategizing out of dating. She went on 121 first
dates, so you can short-cut your journey into the partnership that’s in your future. Brilliant. A masterpiece.
The best dating book I’ve read in a decade.”
—Julie Ferman , personal matchmaker and dating coach, www.JulieFerman.com
“If you feel uncomfortable about dating or you’re dreading jumping into dating online, 121 First Dates is
for you! No formulaic tips, tricks, or rules to follow, Wendy’s is an authentic and realistic approach that will
have you feeling more confident about dating, no matter your age, body type, or personal struggles. She’ll
give you the sense that being yourself is better than okay. 121 First Dates is more than a dating guide—it’s
a manual for empowered living!”
—“Bombshell Betty” Betty Field , pinup, burlesque, and body image maven
“When I first read 121 First Dates , it was like ‘Wow, so that’s where I went wrong . . . and bam! That’s
how I can fix it!’ Wendy nailed it!”
—Esha Mohanh , Behind the Look LA
“121 First Dates is a refreshing, riveting, insightful, and eye-opening look into relationships, romance,
courting, and sexuality. Wendy Newman’s work offers a profound punch that immediately wakes you up to
the glory and magic of romance while journeying through the eyes of passion, sensuality, and true
partnership and oneness. If you are looking to unravel the mystery of love then this book is for you.”
—Nicole Brandon , motivational speaker, life coach, author, actress, and the CEO of Artistry In
Motion (A.I.M. For Excellence Inc.)
“Wendy helps would-be daters get their feet wet in the seemingly murky pond of online dating and meeting
men in the real world. She shares mortifying and hilarious moments as well as useful tips on flirting, self-
care, and how to be your best self while finding the best guy for you. Do yourself a favor and read this
book.”
—Marie Benard , talk show host at CiTR 101.9 FM Vancouver, B.C.
“The first date you should make is with 121 First Dates , sit down with a glass of wine and dive right in.
You’ll learn more about dating than you even thought to ask.”
—Grae Drake , film commentator and TV host, Rotten Tomatoes
“Sadly, the normal process of dating usually robs women of our most attractive, fall-in-love-with qualities:
self-confidence, authenticity, and passion. Wendy Newman is out to change all that with delightful wit,
compassion, and humor. The judgment-free zone located within the pages of 121 First Dates playfully
guides women through the dating process, while granting them the freedom and permission to find what
they truly need in a relationship.”
—Alison A. Armstrong , author of The Queen’s Code
“Wendy Newman has created a smart, engaging, and compassionate dating guide for women. She shares her
victories, struggles, and mistakes without apology in the hopes that her journey will inspire others to live to
their full love potential.”
—Sheila Kelley , creator of Sheila Kelley S Factor and author of The S Factor
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Contents
Epigraph
Introduction: A Day in the Life of a Dater
Part I: Getting Ready to Date
1. What to Expect (and Not to Expect) from Dating
Date #44: Bison and a Massage—What’s Not to Love?
2. Getting Ready for Your Dating Adventure
Date #83: Hit the Wall
Date #109: Drive-by
3. Dos and Don’ts Before the First Date
Date #98: Warning: X-Rated
4. Rookie Mistakes We Make
Date #26: Talk, Talk, Talk
5. Put On Your Dating Cap
Date #5: How to Be a Successful Groupie 101
6. The Art of Flirting
7. Where Are All the Single Ones?
Date #21: Dear Chicago
8. Online Dating Sites: Where Your Date Looks When They’re Looking for
You
9. My Secret Tips for Online Photos
Date #9: Size Matters
Date #10: My Hero
10. How to Write a Winning Online Profile
Date #45: Super-Cougarific Me
11. How to Find Your Mate Online
12. Online Dating Best Practices
Date #51: Punk-Rock Dad
Part II: The First Date
13. Converting Online to the Real World
14. Dos and Don’ts for the First Date
Date #66: The Felon
15. On Your First Date
Date #101: Taboo Topics and Broken Rules Can Still Lead to More
16. You Need to Connect, He Needs to Deliver
Date #31: Staying In
17. Sorting Your Mate
Date #52: Opposites Don’t Always Attract
18. The Divorced Guy (Best-Kept Secret or Total Nightmare?)
Date #60: I Was the Ladder (aka Bubble Boy)
19. Bringing Out His Confidence
20. Look for “That Look”
Date #113: Off Balance
21. He Never Promised You a Rose Garden
Date #73: I’m All Packed, So Take Me with You
22. Paying for Dates
23. Sex Talk on a First Date
Date #3: Neato Speedo (aka The Danish Package)
Date #54: Keeping Up with Mr. Johnson
Part III: After the First Date
24. Not Interested in a Second Date?
Date #2: Tom Waits Will Have to Wait
Date #12: Too Good to Be True? (Yep.)
25. Stalking Your New Date Is Never a Smart Idea
26. Decoding “You Deserve to Be with Someone Who Can Make You Happy”
27. Hey, Smart, Successful Girl, You Don’t Intimidate Him
28. When It’s Time to Take a Break
29. Why Didn’t He Call?
30. Ten Things to Do to Take Care of You
31. Your Inner Critic Is Not Your Friend
32. Keeping Pace
Date #74: Smarty-Pants
33. When to Call It Quits If He’s “Too Busy”
34. When Should I Sleep with Him for the First Time?
Date #1: My First
35. Let’s Talk About Sex
36. Friends with Benefits and Nontraditional Arrangements
Date #4: The Man in Black
Date #39: Sheer Will
Conclusion: Happily Ever After (Really!)
Date #121: Date #1 Meets Date #121—The Deus Ex Machina
Acknowledgments
About Wendy Newman
Notes