11 Giving our baby to God 15 The Da Vinci Codeand Martyrs Mirror 18 Feel connected and ...

32 Pages·2006·1.83 MB·English

www.TheMennonite.org July 18, 2006
Page 8
11 Giving our baby to God
15 The Da Vinci Code and
Martyrs Mirror
18 Feel connected and renewed
at San José
32 Congo line
GRACE AND TRUTH
Anger: the devil’s furnace
I
s anger the devil’s furnace as the Parson names here and needs attention.” Accept and own the
it in The Canterbury Tales? The first family anger. “You don’t make me angry. I choose to be
story in the Bible is about out-of-control anger angry” is a liberating statement.
that leads to the unthinkable—one brother kills Understand your anger.Not all anger is bad. A
another. Cain kills Abel. The biblical portrayal of righteous anger gives us energy to persevere
sin and evil begins with anger in the family and its against evil and the courage to stand up for people
consequence, what we today call domestic vio- who are oppressed. God is angry about evil, and
lence. Anger is one of the seven deadly sins. God’s people ought to be angry about evil. When
Anger is the devil’s delight, because we can feel Jesus was arrested and abused, he rebuked the
so right about doing the wrong things. Ephesians high priest: “If I said something wrong, testify as
4:26-27 (NIV) says, “In your anger do not sin: Do to what is wrong. But if I spoke the truth, why did
not let the sun go down while you are still angry, you strike me” (John 18:23, NIV)?
and do not give the devil a foothold.” Slow up your anger response.James 1:19-20
We live in such an angry global and national says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of
environment that we have developed a high toler- this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to
Clarence E.
ance for anger. Suicide bombings, targeted assas- speak and slow to become angry, because our
Rempelis a
pastor at First sinations, the war on terror, the abuse of prisoners anger does not produce the righteousness God
Mennonite of war, videotaped beheadings and the genocidal desires.” Write the email, but don’t send it. Sleep
Church, Newton, displacement of whole tribal and ethnic groups on it. Pray about it. Talk to your spouse or a trust-
Kan.
demonstrate devilish, globalized anger. ed friend. “A fool gives full vent to anger, but the
Hundreds of women are murdered by their hus- wise quietly hold it back” (Proverbs 29:11, NIV).
bands or boyfriends each year. Anger manifests Trust God’s justice.We cannot make everything
itself in bitter divorce proceedings and the endless right in this world. We may not make things right
litigation for pain and suffering. in our lifetime. Slavery was resisted for hundreds
Anger is serious, spiritual dynamite, and we of years before it was substantially abolished by
need to deal with it in all its forms. Ephesians 4:31 social consent and by law. Your parents may have
(NIV) says, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and done mean things to you. Your children or siblings
anger, brawling and slander, along with every form may have mistreated you. Your employer may
of malice.” Bitterness is Crock-Pot anger. We just have exploited you. Romans 12:19 (NIV)says, “Do
turn up the heat, let it stew, and do a slow burn. not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for
Rage, on the other hand, is powder-keg anger God’s wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge;
unleashed in flashes of violent actions and bellow- I will repay,’ says the Lord.” Trust God’s justice.
ing voices. Get rid of it. As a father of four ener- Overcome feelings of anger with loving action.
getic children, there were times I needed to defuse When we act out anger, we become angrier. When
my anger. “I am so angry right now I need a time we act out love, we become more loving. Jesus
out. I want to talk with you in 30 minutes.” said, “Love your enemies, do good to those who
How do we overcome unholy anger? hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for
Accept and own your anger. Anger is like a red those who mistreat you” (Luke 6:27-28, NIV).
light on the dash. It says, “Something is wrong Flood the devil’s furnace with water. TM
TheMennonite The Mennoniteis the official publication of Mennonite Church USA. Our
Vol. 9, No. 14, July 18, 2006
mission is to help readers glorify God, grow in faith and become agents of
healing and hope in the world. The Mennonite(ISSN 1522-7766) is normal-
Editor: Everett J. Thomas Offices: ly published on the first and third Tuesdays of each month by the board
[email protected] 1700 S. Main St. for The Mennonite, Inc. Periodical postage paid at Goshen, IN 46526. Sub-
Associate Editor: Gordon Houser Goshen, IN 46526-4794 scription rates: $41.95 (U.S) or $60.60 (CDN) per year. Group rates avail-
[email protected] phone: [phone] able. Scripture references are from the New Revised Standard Version
fax: [phone] unless otherwise noted. The views expressed in this publication do not
Assistant Editor: Anna Groff
necessarily represent the official positions of Mennonite Church USA, The
[email protected] 722 Main St., P.O. Box 347 Mennonite, or the board for The Mennonite, Inc.
Advertising Coordinator: Kristene Miller Newton, KS 67114
[email protected] phone: [phone] Postmaster
Circulation Manager:Rebecca Helmuth fax: [phone] Send form 3579 to:
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Editorial Assistant: Nora Miller Web site 1700 S. Main St.
Design: Dee Birkey www.TheMennonite.org Goshen, IN 46526
2 TheMennonite July 18,2006
CONTENTS
7
8 The man born blind and the person with bipolar
12
disorder
Jesus has a mission for us all in his kingdom, regardless of our
individual capacities.—Leah Kabira
11 Giving our baby to God
A father’s journey of faith—Jake Hallman
13 On the tip of my tongue
Living with aphasia—John A. Liechty
23
15 The Da Vinci Code, Martyrs Mirror and the faithful
church
Mennonites have their own book of hidden knowledge and
alternative wisdom.—Gerald Biesecker-Mast
19 Making peace at the Table of the Lord
Mennonites and Catholics consider God’s presence at the
‘tables of our lives.’—Gordon Houser
20 Elkhart, Ind., building project on hold
21 Executive Board faces another deficit
22 Former inmate now has prison ministry
16
DEPARTMENTS
2 Grace and truth
Anger: the devil’s furnace—Clarence E. Rempel
4 Readers say
6 News digest
18 Leadership
Feel connected and renewed at San José—Rachel
Swartzendruber
27 For the record
30 Mediaculture
A critical film for a critical time—Gordon Houser
32 Editorial
Congo line—Everett J. Thomas
Cover: iStockPhoto
July 18,2006 TheMennonite 3
READERS SAY
Voices from the margins Where are the women?
This summer’s Racial/Ethnic People Conference I appreciate Marty Lehman’s willingness to
Aug. 3-6 in Dallas represents every associate address the disproportionate amount of male lead-
group in Mennonite Church USA. Everyone will ership in Mennonite Church USA (“Where Are the
enjoy God’s blessing on corporate worship and Women?” Leadership, June 20). She exposed the
support each group’s work. The conference will be elephant in the room; how did it get there? What
This publication wel- more than ceremony; we will affirm the principle are the systemic reasons Lehman often finds her-
comes your letters,
of community and embrace its constructive power. self “the only woman in a meeting”? What condi-
either about our con-
tent or about issues A chorus of rising voices from the margins of tions created this imbalance?
facing the Mennonite
Mennonite society will harmonize for the cause of Unfortunately, the lack of women in leadership
Church USA. Please
keep your letters shalom, God’s peace, to be shared among all. This is not a phenomenon that appeared out of
brief—one or two
conference will help the church appreciate and nowhere. We’ve made it so. Mennonites have not
paragraphs—and
about one subject understand the powerful roles diversity and cul- risen above the male-centric society of biblical
only. We reserve the
ture play in our lives and expression of faith. Our times as much as one would hope. Two major
right to edit for
length and clarity. diversity as people of color and our dedication as threads in our historic and current fabric con-
Publication is also
people of commitment will be seen helping tribute to this troubling imbalance. For one, the
subject to space limi-
tations. Send to Mennonite Church USA, its agencies and institu- Bible says that women should be quiet in church
Letters@TheMenno-
tions become a better church for all its members. and submit to their husbands. As a result, many
nite.org or mail to
Readers Say, The We will join in the spirit of Ephesians 4:15-16, unit- Mennonite churches haven’t been open to women
Mennonite, 1700 S.
ed in purpose to strengthen one another “unto him pastors, though thankfully that’s changing. There
Main St., Goshen, IN
46526-4794. Please who is the head—Christ.” are Mennonites who believe that the man is the
include your name
Without the united presence of groups and con- head of the household, creating an accepted hier-
and address. We will
not print letters sent gregations representing growing constituencies archy between the genders. The consequences of
anonymously,
within Mennonite Church USA, how can the domi- these views are evident in our leadership disparity,
though we may with-
hold names at our nant culture ever truly understand that racism is even as minds and hearts shift.
discretion.—Editors
socially wrong and morally sinful? Racism perpetu- Second, the language we use for God is power-
ates a false sense of innate superiority in some, ful and formative. During worship we use male
while others insist that token examples of advance- images for God and in doing so effectively train
ment prove their intent to work equally and will- the corporate subconsciousness: men reflect the
ingly for all. Racial/ethnic people are determined divine more accurately than women, men are more
and ready for the same levels of responsibilities capable, men have a closer “in” with God. Simul-
others have in Mennonite Church USA. We insist taneously, women are subtly and repeatedly taught
on having the same full benefits of membership that they are “less than” or not the norm. If we see
and its privileges enjoyed by others. Racism is not God as a male-only deity, then naturally men are
just church history past but is church biography elevated.
lived and written in present tense. This conference The Mennonite church harvests male leaders
will help write a new and refreshing chapter in the because we grow male leaders. With our quiet
life of Mennonite Church USA.—Kenneth sowing of unacknowledged partiality, it’s no sur-
Thompson, Bronx, N.Y. prise where the women are and why. Are we will-
ing to take an honest look at this problem, or are
IN THIS ISSUE we satisfied with the inequity we are perpetuating?
I pray we can continue this dialogue as we grow as
Three courageous Mennonites share intimately about per- a community of healing and hope where everyone
sonal health issues. Leah Kabrina describes her journey is valued equally regardless of sex, race, age or
and healing process as The Bipolar Person (page 8). Jake socioeconomic status. That is the kind of church
Hallman recounts his anger at God upon learning that the son where I would love to be a leader.—Jill Hostetler
in his wife’s womb had spina bifida—and the rare surgery that Kaufman, Goshen, Ind.
left them with “a perfect son”(page 11). John A. Liechty de-
scribes his journey to relearn language after a brain aneurysm When the June 20 issue of The Mennonitearrived,
left him with aphasia (page 13). Unrelated to physical disabili- per habit I turned first to Readers Say. I always
ties is a fourth article: Gerald Biesecker-Mast’s juxtaposition of notice the number of letters written by men and by
the Martyr’s Mirrorand the currently popular book and movie women. As is usually the case, women’s voices
The Da Vinci Code (page 15). The news section carries Gordon were painfully underrepresented. In fact, once
Houser’s report of the latest meeting of Bridgefolk, an annual again there were no letters from women and again
Catholic-Mennonite conversation (page 19).—Editor I wondered, “Where are women’s voices? What are
my Mennonite sisters thinking?” I didn’t know
4 TheMennonite July 18,2006
READERS SAY
whether to chuckle or cry when in the same issue far too many hurting people who for one reason or
I found Marty Lehman’s article asking “Where are another are not being accepted and ministered to.
the women?” in leadership roles in Mennonite God cannot be happy with those who pick and
Church USA (Leadership, page 18). choose who gets saved or remains lost. Those out-
I realize you can only print letters received. Is side looking at the church need the welcome mat
there a way to make it clear that you welcome and offered to come on in and fellowship. They only
encourage a better balance of responses and opin- desire to be involved and encouraged.—Bill ONLINE POLL
ions? The Mennonitecould consider a policy of Hartwell, Omaha, Neb. RESULTS
publishing equal numbers of responses from
women and men in Readers Say. If no women’s Wants pen pals I watch World
Cup soccer
responses are available, nothing would appear in What’s wrong with setting up a pen pal column?
(58 responses):
this column for that issue. There was always one in the Mennonite publica-
If our sisters’ voices were more audible, per- tion for preteens, On the Line. When I was a kid,
Often (26%)
haps women would gain confidence that they have my friends and I would love to pour over the let-
Occasionally
something important to contribute and would ters and try to find someone as close to our own
(33%)
come to mind more often when positions of leader- birthdays as possible. It could be set up similar-
Never (40%)
ship are being considered. Then Marty Lehman’s ly.—Connie Mader, Kitchener, Ont.
question would thus be answered.—Carolyn H. What is World
Cup soccer?(2%)
Heggen, Corvallis, Ore. Doctrine and unity
“Do We Have to Choose Between Doctrine and
Check out the new
Editor’s note: Our informal policy gives priority to Unity?” by Karl Landis (June 6) offers a hopeful poll question at
letters from (as we can identify them) women, way of prioritizing Christian doctrines to prevent www.
youth, young adult and underrepresented racial/eth- divisions over less-than-critical issues. However, I TheMennonite.org
nic members of Mennonite Church USA. note that Landis’ two categories, “brick wall” and
“picket fence,” conceive of doctrines as means of
God cannot be happy separating people. Could it be that such metaphors
As a prison chaplain for 13 years, I have learned a themselves are already part of our problems with
great deal while in the Nebraska state prisons cor- unity? Could we perhaps start with different
rectional system. First, the time served by an metaphors, such as the biblical ones of milk and
inmate is also being served by his or her family. solid food?
Second, some inmates’ families are not accepted If we think of doctrine as nourishment and
as members by some churches. This really hurts refreshment rather than walls and fences, we
me and the kingdom of God. might be able to see our doctrinal differences as
It appears that too many churches have clubs, being like the differences among burger eaters,
committees, boards and programs but are produc- sushi eaters and vegetarians. We don’t want to
ing nothing. If half the energy spent in talking swallow or see our sisters and brothers swallow
about the programs of the churches could be something poisonous, and we ought to talk about
channeled into spreading the gospel, thousands of that. But we also know that some things are more
souls could be won for Christ. Pious talk and reso- a matter of taste than of health, and we can sit at
lution cannot take the place of proclaiming the pre- the same table even if we have to say, “No thanks”
cious message of the grace of God. After all is said to some of the things we’re offered.—David
and done, there is more said than done. There are Rensberger, Decatur, Ga.
Pontius’Puddle Joel Kauffmann
July 18,2006 TheMennonite 5
NEWS DIGEST
IN BRIEF
Wiedenhoefer Columbus, Ohio,is 2009 convention site Rheinheimer, co-pastor of Mountain Community
named MCCWest Mennonite Church in Palmer Lake, Colo., with
DENVER—The 2009 Biennial Assembly for
Coast director Jan, his wife, encouraged leaders to regain their
Mennonite Church USA will be held in Columbus,
Sheri Wiedenhoefer prophetic voices by nurturing their own spirituali-
Ohio, June 29-July 4. Columbus was selected from
has been named ty, worshiping God, allowing passion to drive their
director of West a field of four cities investigated by Jorge Vallejos,
ministry and making prayer the center of church
Coast Mennonite director of convention planning for Mennonite
life.—Mennonite Mission Network
Central Committee, Church USA. The other three cities were Chicago,
one of the four
Cincinnati and Indianapolis. EMS adds church mentoring course
regional MCC offices
“Based on … the average cost to attend assem-
in the United States. HARRISONBURG, Va.—“American culture cries
Wiedenhoefer, who bly in 2009,” Vallejos said in his recommendation
out for healthy, genuine relationships,” says
holds a master’s to the Executive Board on July 1, “we believe
Mauricio Chenlo, who is
degree in peace and Columbus offers the best meeting package for our
conflict studies from heading up the newest online
event. Columbus is the least expensive for our del-
Fresno (Calif.) Pacific course in the Eastern Menno-
egates and also the least expensive for our office.”
University, is com- nite Seminary curriculum.
pleting 14 years as The total cost per person is projected at $668
The distance learning
executive director of (registration, meals, lodging and parking). The
course, Mentoring Youth into
Community Youth convention office considered only cities in the
Ministries, a commu- Life, will focus on ways to
Midwest so that the majority of participants could
nity-based organiza- strengthen adult-youth rela-
drive to the site after needing to fly to San Jose
tion offering neigh- tionships.
borhood and after- 2007. Mennonite World Conference’s assembly is
Chenlo is director of
school programs, also scheduled for 2009. It will meet in Paraguay
Mauricio Chenlo Mennonite Mission Network’s
family life education July 13-19.—Everett J. Thomas
and a teen moms Hispanic Mission Training
programs in the Missional change requires passion,prayer Academy and associate pastor for youth at Raleigh
Reedley, Calif., area. (N.C.) Mennonite Church in partnership with
From March 2000 to COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo.—Nearly 40 congre-
Virginia Mennonite Board of Missions and the
February 2006, she gational, conference and denominational leaders
Eastern Carolina District. He has worked with
also served as peace examined how to empower conferences and con-
and justice educator church planting and multicultural urban ministries
gregations to be agents of missional change May
for West Coast MCC. across eastern North Carolina, including Building
19-21 in Colorado Springs.
She begins as direc- Together Ministries, a racial reconciliation pro-
tor Sept. 1, replacing Anita Amstutz, pastor of Albuquerque (N.M.)
gram and community peace clinic.—Eastern
Bob and Barb Mennonite Church, and fellow presenter Don
Mennonite Seminary
Buxman.—MCC
MPN focuses on congregations
CrossRoads opens
welcome center SCOTTDALE, Pa.—Reports of new marketing ini-
CrossRoads, the tiatives and progress on stabilizing finances high-
Valley Brethren- lighted the May 5-6 annual meeting here of the
Mennonite Heritage
Mennonite Publishing Network (MPN) Board.
Center in
“We have shifted from a survival mode to
Harrisonburg, Va.,
opened its newly engaging the future,” said board chair Phil
renovated Welcome Bontrager. In the past year, MPN focused on rela-
Center to the public tionships with congregations in Mennonite
June 18. Norwood
Church USA and Mennonite Church Canada.
Shank thanked the
Marketing initiatives included researching curricu-
Daniel Myers family
for donating the lum use in congregations, appointing a resource
Burkholder-Myers advocate coordinator, holding a “train the trainers”
House and paying to gle event for the Gather ’Round curriculum, making
have it moved up En
tChaer pheilnl.t Setre rveepresent- Melissa fimollporwov-uinpg p ohnolninee c aalclcse tsos atlol cMonPgNr emgaatteiorniasl sa.n d
ed Virginia Confer- Sharing the love of music According to audited financial statements, pub-
ence of Mennonite lishing revenue for the fiscal year ending on Jan.
Vincent Berry, a Mennonite Central Committee Summer
Church USA and 31 included $185,000 in donations that helped to
Service worker in Detroit, shares his love for music. He is
James Miller the
one of 83 Summer Service workers for 2006. Young peo- offset $250,000 in curriculum development costs.
Shenandoah District
ple of diverse ethnic backgrounds serve in their home Over the past four years, MPN’s long-term debt
of the Church of the
Brethren. communities for 10 weeks through MCC’s Summer has been reduced from $5.1 million to $3 million.
Service program.—MCC
—CrossRoads MPN ended fiscal year end 2006 with an operating
6 TheMennonite July 18,2006
NEWS DIGEST
IN BRIEF
At Bethel College, North Newton,Kan., from Peace Tax Fund
which he graduated in 1945, he met Belva Waltner, Campaign names
Freeman, S.D., and they were married July 7, 1946. new director
He graduated from New York Biblical Seminary Alan Gamble, a local
in 1948 and accepted his first pastoral assignment organizer in Michigan,
has been named
in Pulaski, Iowa, before going to Japan in 1951.
executive director of
He became the first staff
the Peace Tax Fund
secretary for Asia for the Campaign in
General Conference Menno- Washington. The
nite Church in 1966. In 1978, Religious Freedom
Peace Tax Fund Bill
after a year at Princeton
now has 43 cospon-
Theological Seminary, the
sors, two fewer than
Unruhs went to Taiwan with the most cosponsors
the Commission on Overseas it has had since 1990.
Mission. —Chris Fretz
He served in various pas-
Verney Unruh Say no to torture
toral roles at First Mennonite
Twenty-seven U.S.
Church, Newton, from 1989 to 1998 and continued
religious figures,
Jeff Arb aNse taw voorlkunteer until his death.—Mennonite Mission igneclliucadli nCgh rsiostmiaen es,van-
o
g have endorsed a
Thast, Congolese Mennonites solicit prayer strong statement
e G June 6 against the use
o KINSHASA, Democratic Republic of Congo—
sh of torture by the
en N Congolese hope the national elections scheduled American military and
ews for July 30 will open a new era in their country’s security forces, saying
history. Mennonites in Congo are calling upon “the soul of our
Seniors give their best shot
nation”is at stake.
their sisters and brothers throughout the world to
Rosella Hernley, Luray, Va., participates in the shot put at the Evangelical signers
join them in prayer during this time. There are
fifth biennial Mennonite Senior Sports Classic, which attracted included author-pas-
75 participants to Goshen (Ind.) College June 15-17 for fun more than 200,000 Mennonites in three confer- tor Rick Warren, presi-
and fellowship—and low-key competition—in 31 different ences there. dent Ted Haggard of
athletic events, most related to track and field. The event was Having suffered from many years of misery, the the National
sponsored by the Mennonite Association of Retired Persons Association of
Congolese now hope to freely choose political
under the leadership of Helen Lapp, executive director. Evangelicals, Fuller
leaders capable of responding to the aspirations of
—Stuart W. Showalter Seminary president
the people. From past experience, they know that Richard Mouw and
election periods are often characterized by threats Roberta Hestenes,
loss of $27,683 and net loss of $26,394 in other and dangers of many kinds.—Jean-Paul Mudiji minister-at-large with
World Vision. Other
activities. MPN’s net worth stood at $378,748.
Second grader helps raise money for Congo signers included for-
The board unanimously approved Ron Rempel
mer president Jimmy
as executive director for an additional three-year SOUTH BEND, Ind.—This spring Eric Streeter, a Carter, Cardinal
term. A recently completed review of his leader- second grader at Kern Road Mennonite Church in Theodore McCarrick
ship included consultation with the Joint Executive South Bend, set a goal of raising $100 to help with of Washington, Greek
Orthodox archbishop
Committee of Mennonite Church USA and one surgery in the Democratic Republic of Congo.
Demetrios of New
Mennonite Church Canada and with MPN man- He had heard physician John Martens, who grew
York, emergent-
agement staff.—Mennonite Church USA up in the Congo and returns regularly to provide church leader Brian
medical assistance there, talk about medical needs McLaren, Islamic
Missionary pioneer in Asia dies at 83
in that country. Eric started with his own savings. Society of North
America national
NEWTON, Kan.—Verney Unruh, 83, who died Soon other second graders decided to help. They
director Sayyid M.
July 8, devoted 38 years to international ministry raised more than six times the amount of Eric’s
Syeed and Nobel lau-
in Japan and Taiwan and administrated Asian min- objective by staffing a table of baked goods, which reate Elie Wiesel.
istries for a predecessor agency of Mennonite generated $625 for the Congo. As part of a devel- —The Christian
Mission Network. He then served in pastoral oping relationship between Mennonite Church Century
roles, both paid and unpaid, for another 17 years. USA and Congolese Mennonites, Kern Road host-
Unruh was born May 8, 1923, to Anthony and ed Adolphe Komuesa of the Communauté
Anna Albrecht Unruh, who attended Bethlehem Mennonite au Congo, a Mennonite World Confer-
Mennonite Church of rural Bloomfield, Mont., ence member church.—Andre Gingerich Stoner
where Unruh was baptized in 1937. —compiled by Gordon Houser
July 18,2006 TheMennonite 7
The man born blind
the person with
Jesus has a mission for us all in his kingdom,
by Leah Kabira
T
he story of the man born blind (John 9:1-41) is a good counter-
point for my own disability story. The man born blind had been
defined by the outside world solely by his blindness, and people
no longer recognize him once he’s healed. However, he does not
think of himself merely as a blind man. He goes out and pro-
claims the Good News of Jesus’ healing power. He even gets
bolder about his proclamations as the story unfolds. This shows
that Jesus has a place for us all and a mission for us all in his
kingdom, regardless of our individual capacities.
I have bipolar disorder, what used to be called manic depres-
sion. For me, depression is white, empty and colorless. It is too
bright. I want it to go away. Mania’s color is red. It is intense:
the color of blood and rage. When I am manic I am red, too,
adding to the world’s intensity and amplifying it.
Mania’s color is
red. It is intense:
the color of blood
and rage. When I
am manic I am red,
too, adding to the
world’s intensity
and amplifying it.
8 TheMennonite July 18,2006
and
regardless of our individual capacities.
I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years I defined myself solely by my newly named dis-
ago, though I realize now that I have had it since ability. This is a departure from the man born blind,
adolescence. It is caused by a chemical imbalance, since he seemed not to base his self-worth or identi-
and it affects a person’s thoughts and moods. ty on his disability. I admire the speed at which he
My first memory of a depressive episode is from threw off his old label as the blind man who begs to
when I was 12, and my first memory of mania was take on his new role as a disciple of Jesus.
from the age of 18. Of course this is all hindsight. When first dealing with my label I tried to read
At the time I thought other people went through biographies of people coping with bipolar disorder
bleak times, euphoric times, irritable times or sped- so I could learn how to live. It was distressing to
up times. Perhaps I was a little odd, or perhaps, read of their manic and depressive episodes, their
like me, people just didn’t talk about such things. struggles with suicide attempts, their self-induced
These episodes affected my life, but even then I bankruptcies, their grandiose ideas gone awry,
didn’t associate them with any sort of disability. I their infidelities, their encounters with police and
have been suicidal more than once. I went through their many hospitalizations.
periods during which I came up with all sorts of
grand plans, only to drop them suddenly because I became The Bipolar Person. My clear
of extreme discouragement and a subsequent fall
into depression. My husband put up with a lot. In lens for the past became my only lens,
my mid-20s I finally sought help for depression
and took an antidepressant for a brief period. I the only way I could interpret my past
immediately went into mania, though the nurse
and present life, the only way I could
assured me this was normal. In reality it was a
strong sign that I was bipolar. It was another
project my future.
missed clue.
What made me go to the psychiatrist were a cou-
ple of manic episodes during which my thoughts My history hadn’t been that bad. Would my life
went so fast that I couldn’t understand them—I was go terribly wrong now that I had the diagnosis?
mentally paralyzed, realizing deep down that some- Then I read the hopeful parts of the biographies,
thing was terribly wrong but unable to do anything the stories of medications that worked to stabilize
to stop the cascade of disjointed thoughts. lives, the creativity restored, the relationships and
That brings me to October 2004. I was both bank accounts slowly mended. Maybe this bipolar
fearful and grateful when I finally got the diagno- thing was doable after all.
sis. Fearful because I didn’t know if I would ever But I was still the bipolar person and became
be able to live a “normal” life; grateful because I even more so during and after my hospitalization
finally had a clear lens with which to interpret my in December 2004. There I was surrounded by
past. It seems funny now that I feared for my other people with bipolar disorder. They had had
future, given that my past was riddled with many hospitalizations, even though there had been
episodes that just happened not to have been good months and good years of stability. Being in
named at the time. the hospital felt like a moral failure for me. I
n
w I became The Bipolar Person. My clear lens remained the bipolar person.
Oakla for the past became my only lens, the only way I In meeting others who have mental illnesses I
urtesy could interpret my past and present life, the only have learned I am fortunate. Within a few months
o co way I could project my future. I no longer recog- of my diagnosis my doctor figured out a medica- Continued
ot nized myself. tion regimen that works for me. For many, if not on page 10
h
P
July 18,2006 TheMennonite 9
Continued most people, this sort of stabilization process can I had a hard time praying and going to church.
from page 9 take many months or years—if equilibrium is It was difficult dealing with God. I had only
reached at all. prayers of lament and sorrow and soon gave those
I have a great support system.My husband has up, too. It was hard to tell people how I was doing,
been with me all of these up-and-down years. The though I know people at church were sincere in
neighborhood moms have been ready at almost a asking, “How are you doing this week?” Some
moment’s notice to take my kids and coordinate specifically reached out to me, and I didn’t know
their care when I have been unable to do so. I how to respond. People prayed for me. Prayer is
have a support group I attend where people supposed to cure, right? But I was a broken per-
understand what it is to live with this illness and son, a person who couldn’t be fixed. Yet I wasn’t
where no one is bothered by someone talking too shunned for my label, and there again I am among
fast or crying. I have my husband and friends to the fortunate ones.
talk with and friends who pray with me and for The man born blind didn’t ask to be cured.It
me. When I do have another episode I will be well was Jesus’ idea to cure the man and then to give
cared for. him a new vocation. This task demanded much
from the man. Facing the Pharisees must have
People at church prayed for me when I
been a formidable undertaking. I admire the man
for his increasingly strong witness and courage.
couldn’t or wouldn’t pray myself. Prayer
He must have known his bold witness would come
for cure wouldn’t help, but prayer for at the price of expulsion from the synagogue, but
he did it anyway.
healing has. I’m not sure how my perception of myself as a
broken bipolar person changed. The change hap-
I read and read. Here are a few titles: An pened gradually, partly through therapy. Prayer
Unquiet Mind, The Bipolar Disorder Survival helped, too, and by this I mean others’ prayer.
Guideand a real tome: Manic Depressive Insanity People at church prayed for me when I couldn’t or
and Paranoia. How is that for light reading? I tried wouldn’t pray myself. Prayer for cure wouldn’t
to deal with this redefinition of who I was by think- help, but prayer for healing has. This healing has
ing my way through it. been an ongoing process in which God met me
where I was and has been calling me back to the
world. I slowly remembered myself as a person
A Christian response to mental illness
who happened to have bipolar disorder and not
Darkness Is My Only Companion:AChristian Response to Mental Illness just as a bipolar person.
by Kathryn Greene-McCreight (Brazos Press, 2006, $16.99) confronts the dif- Since then my medication has stabilized my
ficult questions raised by the author’s experience of bipolar disorder. She moods, and I have felt more able to act in the
asks:Does God send this suffering? Why, if I am a Christian, can I not
world. Moreover, I’ve felt myself called to use my
rejoice? What is happening to my soul? She divides the book into three
renewed energy, time and talents to help others.
parts. In the first, “Facing Mental Illness,”she relates her experience of the
highs and lows of bipolar disorder, including her hospitalization and receiv- I’ve done more volunteering at a hospital; I give
ing electroconvulsive therapy. In the second part, “Faith and Mental Illness,” my time to my son’s Cub Scout den and to the
she questions the value of the personality and feeling in religious reflec- school PTA to help the community’s children.
tion, explores the relationship of the brain, mind and soul, and discusses
I hope this well period will continue for a long
the value of prayer for the health of the mentally ill. Her final part, “Living
time, but even if it doesn’t, God will have a place
with Mental Illness,”focuses on practical issues and how to be a friend to P
h
the mentally ill. Greene-McCreight uses quotations from Scripture, poetry for me. God can use even me to do God’s work in oto
and hymns throughout the book, reminding readers of how honest the the world. sup
p
Bible is about suffering. Her insights into the experience and meaning of lied
mental illness are illuminating. For example, she writes, “The mentally ill are b
osoncei aolfly t haecc gerpotuapbsle o tfo h haonlddi cparpepjueddi cpee.”oIpnl etw aog aaipnpste nwdhiocems, ist hseti liln sceluemdess t wo hbye LLeoamhb aKradb iMrae,n Nnoanpietrev Cilhleu, rIclhl.., Tish ais maremticbleer i so fadapted y Jake H
and how she uses Scripture, and she lists symptoms of depression, mania from a talk she presented there. allm
and schizophrenia, plus resources for seeking therapy. This is a helpful book an
for those with mental illness and those wanting to help.—Gordon Houser
10 TheMennonite July 18,2006